Was Yemen Ever Stable?

 

 Having a conscience doesn't pay the rent, now John Kerry is pro war for pay.

John Kerry the US Secretary of State doesn't like the idea of Iran backing rebels in Yemen and just right, that's a total dick move, why didn't the US think of it first? Oh that's right they did. You enjoy those US weapons and anti-terrorism files you liberated Houthi rebels, y'hear?

US friend, President Abdrabbuh Mansour Hadi had to flee Yemen after his US support lost another fight so then he went to Saudi Arabia and demanded they bomb Yemen, they were only too pleased to help ... hold on isn't bombing yer own people what we want rid of Assad for?

So anyway two US navy ships are off the southern coast of Yemen to um, look pretty and to stabilize things just in case there were any of those bad types around.



Kerry said that the US would support any state in the Middle East that felt threatened by Iran, and would not stand by if Iran tried to destabilize the region.

Would these headlines be what you mean about destabilizing the region by any chance?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Iran doesn't have nuclear power right now and no one else should be able to lord over them to say if they can or cannot have it. They'd get it eventually. Of course they will also want to build a nuke because like it of not Iran is a typical Middle Eastern dick of a cuntry but nukes are way in the future, long after Obama and the likes of Tom Cotton who will only last a few years.

You just can't go bombing them now, it isn't polite and besides the US couldn't liberate a cup of warm piss and the UK is so done with fighting sand savages. Israel talks big but their US protector is busy alienating it.  

To answer the last headline. I'm sure the Obama admin have a fancy term since destabilizing doesn't apply to them or their allies, probably 'conflict resolution assurance'  you have to make sure that the right people are causing the chaos. 

Only an mad person calls for war or embraces it, if you support the troops then punch a politician that voted for war, it's not their limbs that get blown off.

Failed By The System

Lolia Vãduva, 25 recieves £78,000 a year in benefits, has 8 children with 6 different fathers and is hoping for a 9th because she has thought up new babies names she'd like to use. 

Lolia whose family moved to the UK in 1993 from Romania is 462 LBS and says the government should pay her more money if they want her to work.

"People keep saying that I look like Jennifer Lawrence so if the government wants me to work then they need to jump start my modeling career." 

A recent convert to Islam her hobbies are getting her hair and nails done twice a week, day time TV viewing and breeding the rare Nigerian Ebola spider.

She says it's unfair to expect her to look after 8 children when she is trying for a 9th and wants an extra £4,000 for childcare and £24,000 for a boob job, collagen injections and a holiday for her and her new partner in Tenerife.
Under the mental welfare act of 2007 the Liberal council of Clacton will probably give her the extra money as Lolia is being treated for depression and anxiety and it would be a violation of her human rights to withhold anything that might make her happy.      

 I eat junk food and blow strange men in alleyways but on the inside I'm crying, I need more money. 

Lolia lives in a 6 bedroom council house but is on the waiting list for two 6 bedroom houses that will be joined together so she can have more room to have children and to bring some more family members over from her village in Romania, her parents live with her and help look after the children. They run a part time child and dog grooming service but have been hit hard by the recession. 

"I left school when I was 14 to have babies, I ain't educated enough to be a scientist because the system failed me, it's difficult to get healthy halal food and cos I'm eating non-halal junk food me mental health is suffering, I can't cook anyways, no one taught me. I can't even afford to go jihad. People may judge me but that's cos they are jealous as I have got it going on."       

We aren't judging you, we understand. Lolia cannot count change and has trouble telling the time on an analog clock, this disability gets treated with scorn by uneducated people who can't see past the eye rolling and pushy attitude. If the government can spend £3.6 million on burying Margaret Thatcher then it can afford Lolia's tits. 

To help jump start poor Lolia's modeling career go to Sponsorlolia.com to donate.   

Where Do Broken Tarts Go?

Whitney teaching the kids.

Do you remember where you where when you realized that Whitney had lied and that she didn't believe that children were the future? 

I was sitting in a small restaurant on the Rue du sort in Nevers .... France, it was a crisp but sunny spring day almost noon with the river Loire giving me the perfect view with it's wide dark water slowly rolling by. I had just sent back my steak tartare telling the durty froggies to cook it or I'd report them to the food inspectors. 

I likes to teach developing cultures how to behave properly, civilised people do not eat raw meat. Then I realised that Whitney was merely singing any old shite in order to sells records and make money. Maybe she didn't want to dance with somebody and I bet she wasn't saving all her love for Hugh either. 

She wasn't even born in Texas, she should have been called Whitney Newark .... beyond betrayed is how old Knudsen felt/still feels. 

 

 

But the ladies all loved him. 

I didn't wait for my food I left and the restaurant and spiraled out of control in a year long drink and glue bender. Forgive my weakness, my world view was turned upside doon when I found out that Liberace was ghey and this was the final straw. 

He may have been ghey but he sure knew how to give the best sports massages. 

      

Speaking of civilised people, did you know that 2 - 2.5 million dogs are still consumed in South Korea each year? Other cuntries that eat dogs are  China, Indonesia, Korea, Mexico, Philippines, Polynesia, Taiwan and Vietnam. Some rural parts of Switzerland eat em and in 44 US states it's still legal to eat a cat or dog. 

There is no reason why man's best friend can't be man's best lunch. From the earliest times that we domesticated the dog we also ate them, ask a native American. When you rub noses with an Eskimo check to see if they have dog breath. 

I do have a problem with how the animals are kept and how they are killed. In South east Asia there is a tradition that if the dog is scared before you kill it then the meat will be more tender. 

There are groups who want to ban the breeding and eating of dogs and cats in these cuntries but it has gone on for so long that it is ingrained as a part of their culture. Might as well try getting a Flegger to stop marching and hating Catholics, you'll have just as much chance of success. 

What are you going to substitute instead of dogs? They don't eat dogs because it tastes so good they eat it because there isn't much other choice. What do these poor people feed their dogs on I wonder ... I bet it's the unused parts that they won't eat .... it's a dog eat dog world. 

In the Hindu religion eating cow is taboo as is pork in Judaism. In Japan it became that eating dog was unlucky in Shintoism and Buddhism, I guess as more morons turn Christian or cherry pick what they believe then you get to eat what you want. 

Old Knudsen is a fussy eater however if you slaver a turd in miracle whip or Franks buffalo wing sass he'll eat it .... or combine the two, damn it now I'm hungry for sass covered turds.   

Dog lovers in Pennsylvania.

You have leftie doggie lovers who love their dogs so much they copy the way they have sex complaining that millions of poor Asians are eating dogs, then you have the people who complain that other poor people catch Aids or Ebola from eating monkeys ... fucks sake ya can't win. 

None of these people have the answers, they just know what they don't like.  

As usual the main problem isn't addressed, that problem is poverty. Don't worry, soon  we'll have other problems and eating dogs will be a far better alternative. The world population at over 7 billion we'll have a definite meat surplus. 

With that in mind Old Knudsen still does believe that children are our future, you gotta scare them good before you slaughter them though. 

   

    

Is This The Real Life?

The large Hadron collider was restarted again on Sunday, bigger, more powerful and totally uncut. While actual collisions of particle beams won't happen for another month the scientists at the underground base on the Swiss/French border have been noticing some changes to our reality. Top brain Stephen Hawking tweeted, "I told you so" .... in a mechanical voice of course. 

Holes have been opening up in the sky with experts saying they are gateways to other realities that are merging with our own ... of course I don't believe that. I also don't believe in vaccinations or that smoking and lead paint are harmful to children. Smoking makes kids look cool and older. I grew up licking lead paint and the old swimming pools were lead lined and it did Old Knudsen no harm. 

I do believe that some Interweb videos can make yer dick bigger but not the ones I get in me spam folder.

Every since WWII, I cannae touch another can of spam. Sure killing Japs, Frenchies and Germans was fun but the food was awful. Spam for breakfast, lunch, dinner and as a late night snack, then I  went to  Hawaii on hols only to find spam on the bloody menu. I told my mate Robin Masters, thanks for letting me stay at yer hoose and for all the drugs and hookers but the food is shite, I'm off. Seeing yon hairy bloke who lived in the guest hoose wearing short shorts would put me off me food if I wasn't already off it. 

Makes you think huh? 

So ever since the large hadron collider was fired up have you noticed anything odd about the world? Old Knudsen has noticed a quiet tense vibe to the air and a slight itch in between his toes on his left foot .... it's usually on the right foot. 
The newspaper delivery guy closed the gate two days running and there has been a strange muffled screaming from me shed ... no wait, I think I know why that is happening, I'll take care of that. The sun has also been shining here in Northern Ireland and no one has declared "Taps aff!" yet. 

Strange creatures have been terrorizing cities in the US, Republicans are accusing Obama of not saying that are Muslim monsters because he is responsible for them. Obama denies he is responsible but of course that's what he would say if they were his minions of destruction. 

Senator Tom Cotton wrote an intelligent, well structured letter blaming his diarrhea on Obama, this has led to calls to impeach the president. Senator Cotton made a statement on the overwhelming success of his letter but it was difficult to hear him since he was in the closet.

For some reason she insisted on Liz Taylor lighting.  

That maybe too late as American sweetheart Ann Coulter has revealed she is from the planet Krypton and is now president-ess  ..... If it shows she was born on Krypton on her birth certificate she may not be eligible for the presidency though I don't know who will tell her.  Since revealing her super abilities no one has dared mention her Adams apple.   

British man baby David Cameron has announced a pact of evil with blonde hellion Katie Hopkins, her first act was to round up the poor and the immigrants and put them into education camps. She has made it illegal to name yer child Tyler and wants to outlaw fat people. David Cameron said, "we are committed to a better future"... then Hopkins started speaking again and kept on speaking sometimes tweeting offensive tweets at the same time as she spoke.

Very odd that fake blondes are so mouthy and aggressive and not in a good sexy way. I wonder if it has anything to do with scientists announcing that long term use of Hydrogen Peroxide attacks the gene that makes us have empathy and compassion. Margaret Thatcher used to kill 3 babies everyday in order for her high priests to read their entrails and Hilary Clinton supports fracking .... says it all. 

Hilary had been known to spend $2,500 in 2 months having her hair done and touched up, but she's worth it. 

So yeah a few odd things happening but can you blame the Hadron collider? 

Israel has unfrozen money to be paid to Palestine however Hamas are not pleased that Israel kept some to pay for utilities used by Palestine. It takes a lot of electricity to build those tunnels and Hamas have a really extensive sports cable package.

To make it up to them Israel have offered them a large "friendship" horse, they also have one built for Iran too .... ach I feel all warm inside maybe world peace is achievable.  

Not to be outdone by Coulter,  Bill O'Reilly released a 3 minute Youtube stating that he is indeed Ironman. He became Ironman when he and Brian Williams were captured by Al-Qaeda in Pakistan and he had to use his wits and superior intellect to escape .... yeah I can believe that. 

O'Reilly also cleared up confusion that he also invented the Internet, Velcro and the selfie stick. He also did most of the shots that American sniper Chris Kyle got the credit for and that he was in the room when Jeb Bush (presidential candidate) killed Osama but don't let that act of heroism make you decide how to vote in 2016.   

Well just keep an eye out for any strange stuff going on as even though the world may have ended that doesn't mean that we'd know, what if it ended while we were sleeping?  This isn't the movies ya know, it's real life. 

 

The One That Got Away

The view from my hoose, yes that untidy grass is an eye sore.

So Good Friday was pretty good at first, a knock at my door had me reaching for me 9 (9 incher not 9 mil) which I shoved in me pants as I was not expecting company. At the door stood a young lass smiling at me (until she noticed I hadn't zipped) with a clipboard in her hand. "yer a bit early for date night and what happened to one tooth Agnes my usual?" Not that I was complaining, I don't often talk to young weemen these days as the ones around town know me or have been warned. 

"I'm from the Internet, have you heard of it sir?" .... "I am doing a survey on Internet usage, online shopping and banking, and I'd like to know your opinion about social media but if you don't use the Internet then I'll not bother you any further."     

Since I was staring at her boobs and her fine child bearing hips I only heard 'sir' and 'opinion' so I invited her in.

I said, "take off yer clothes and get oiled up" I'm in the habit of saying that so seeing her startled look I laughed it off and told her I was joking and that me Alzheimers was giving me jip today.  To put her at ease I offered her a cup of coffee, she said yes so I told her I don't have any, I can't stand the taste so write that doon then go make me a cup of tea, my leg is in awful pain I said and I must sit doon, the Germans shot me at Iwo Jima when I was fighting for yer freedoms. 

While we sat and drank our so so tea she asked me questions about what I did online ... of course I didn't tell her about everything, Old Knudsen can read people and seeing that she washed the tea cups she must be from a sheltered well off family. 

Silly questions about who my favorite teacher was, my first pet and my mother's maiden name, I kept waiting for questions about immigration and gheys which to my mind are the single most important issues EVER! .... healthcare, education and employment are soo boring and who cares?

 

Just think about what these happy campers get up to, it's enough to break up marriages between men and weemen.   

Imagine all the ghey sex, rimming live away, woo hoo woo hoo. I feel Satan's grip upon me as I look at yon picture. I must beat the devil out of me.

How many immigrants are ghey? Has no one covered this? It's terrible trying to imagine the kind of things they get up to in their bedrooms but as a fine upstanding Christian it's my duty to do so ... Aye I was born again, I found a church with such low turn out that they don't mind me drinking there. 

I over heard the reverend's wife asking him to pick up some milk on the way home from where ever he was going and he harshly admonished her and rightly so for she had interrupted him thinking about gheys on their wedding night. 

What Old Knudsen imagines when gurls are polite to him. 

So this lass was laughing at my jokes and smiling, maybe I misread the signals or maybe she was just a Good Friday dick tease but she did not want to go upstairs to get comfortable nor did she want to see my shed. 

She wrapped up her survey and said she had to go .... damn it I knew I should have made the tea. I quickly offered her another beverage in an open container but she declined.

Ach I thought I was losing me mojo for a while but then I noticed something was missing and it wasn't me woman charming skills. Me box of Internet was gone. 

I looked doon the side of the table in case the cat had knocked it off, I don't have a cat but a good detective covers all possibilities. No, the cables were just sitting there all limp and useless like an EU sanction against Russia.   

No Interwebs .... she had taken the modern which is that box that stores yer passwords and websites for you non-tech noobs out there. I'd have to go to the library and use their computers to change all me passwords from 123password to something more cunning like password123.

Damn cold calling thieves, always check their I.D. aye they knew how to get past Old Knudsen's defenses, Mata Hari used that cunning trick of putting my dick in her mouth to get me to tell her secrets during the great war ... well they call it great but I've seen better.      

I hope she doesn't believe half the stuff I told her as I suffer from an illness known as pseudologia fantastica and add to that my paranoia (unless a pretty lass smiles at me)  I don't always give the truth. 

What was the name of yer first pet? .... the first one I owned, had sex with, cooked for dinner or killed by accident cos I thought it was a demon come to rip out my soul? ... damn those drugs. You must be more precise with yer questions and never assume you are just talking to one person. 

Using a computer at the library isn't that bad as long as you don't mind no privacy, they frown on you trying to surf porn and have definite rules against you taking yer cock out .... are these the freedoms I fought at Agincourt for? 

The Pope's Easter Message

One goblet could fund an invasion of a small cuntry.

For some reason the Pope had to get in on the fun at Easter. Did he say anything of worth? Did he mention how Jesus rolled a chocolate egg doon a hill thus fulfilling all the requirements to become the messiah? 

How the fuck should I know he's Mexican or something and speaks Latin.... like they do in Latin America. 

The Pope called for peace in Iraq, Syria, the Holy Land, Ukraine, Libya, Yemen, Nigeria, Sudan and the Democratic Republic of Congo ....  Afghanistan can fuck off! His werds not mine. 

He said to paraphrase, 'Fuck lad, they're killing Christians in Kenya but no one cares, why hasn't America gone in and shot someone?' He said the "International community" but we all know the only cuntry with the balls big enough to go in is America .... well Iran and Russia too but I meant cuntries on our side, God's side. 

 

Camera you say????

Yeah yeah yeah I want world peace too and a pony. In life you must live realistically, can he stop Al Shabaab from killing Christians? he couldn't even stop Al Sharpton from photobombing Obama if there was a camera nearby. 

Live realistically and don't worry about things you don't have control over as what will worrying achieve?

For instance, if you have a shit load of gold goblets and only one mouth, don't let me hear you whining about the poor. You have control over helping them and I don't mean a token sneak out at night to help a Vatican charity. Help the poor and starving the way the Vatican didn't help the Irish during the potato famine.

He then went on to remind people that following him on Twitter may reduce yer time in purgatory (the Vatican did say this) He went on to say people need to move on and stop talking about pedo priests, it's over, dry yer eyes. 

He also said abortion and wanking into socks is murder and the wealthy (not him though) should remember the poor and tip when they order a Big Mac meal.... aye no burger flipper ever complains about the lack of tipping unlike all those waiters and waitresses who make up rude comments on receipts in order to get donations. They'd be happy with a living wage never mind tips and what a dick move it is to announce a pay rise for McDonald's staff in the US then quietly say, well not everyone. 

The Pope went onto say that the dress is white and gold and he'd fight anyone who says it's black and blue, he also said he'd cut the bitch who goes and disses his homies.... but he smiled and so we love him for encouraging random violence. 

Yes his speech had less to say than this post does but I'd like to add that Old Knudsen has no gold goblets and no children were harmed or molested during the writing of this post.... Afterwards, well who knows?  

 

    

Do Facebook Friends Really Care?

Sometimes I wonder how I became friends with some of the people on Facebook, eventually it turns out they are a raging homophobe or seething Fox news loving racist. Sure it pops out every now and again when they can't keep it hidden or they just don't give a fuck one day.

I shrug and usually don't get stuck into them as I figure they are having a bad day. I'm working on being a better person so brabbling with someone even though it's fun and I can piss people off like no other but I just keep scrolling.

'I just broke up with my girlfriend and I have no idea why, they said I was mean and controlling, well that ugly stupid bitch must have been hiding something.'

18 people like this .... because they know yer a cunt. 

When a person is being extremely dumb it's difficult not to point it out, my patience is tried. Thank fuck for Snopes.com and me posting a link is my polite way of saying, "you've got the Internet at yer finger tips use it for fucks sake."

So about a year ago I friended some bloke from Indiana, he was into all the batshit crazy alien and bigfoot stuff so I thought why not, Americans can be fun.  He looked like a cross between George RR Martin and Santa, a little creepy and sort of aggressive, probably aspergers but that's only a negative thing if you behave like a dick.
I'll change his name cos I respect people an shit and will call him Kale Krinnon. He'd post about what time he got up at and how he has a hospital appointment and how Facebook and Blogger were preventing him from doing anything (everyday) but he did post the odd attractive woman and cos-player chick in a tight outfits. I suspect his computer was full up with porn hence having to run scans all the time.

   I found my future wife through him so it was meant to be.

So recently I shared a George Takei meme about how he was boycotting Indiana. As I've said before Takei was discriminated against during WWII for being a slope and now he's being discriminated against for being a fudge packer ... this isn't on!

Like everyone else I looked up where Indiana was, I then looked up what they were famous for. Of all the places to visit in life no one says, "I must visit Indiana before I die"  sure they say that about Ireland and once they get here Indiana looks far more appealing.

Old Knudsen boycotting Indiana is funny because why the fuck would he go there? It's not as if they make stuff I use. Kale took the boycott personally, he vented a rage at Takei and how he'd fight the 77 year-old for taking business away from his home state. Kale obviously had some impotent rage against Old Knudsen posting Indiana stuff ... I bet it was the 'fuck you Indiana' song that broke him. In my defense it was funny and very catchy.
Kale did attempt to lay a guilt trip on Old Knudsen as FB refers to Old Knudsen as 'she' and 'her' ... obviously Old Knudsen is proud that he is half female (on his mother's side) and fuck you Facebook for trying to define and limit Old Knudsen. I'm half woman, half man hear me ROAR!

He said that weemen had broken up with him over my Facebook gender, cos an old guy picture with a guy's name is so feminine and threatening to yer relationship, yeah right. Not exactly a player he once expressed an interest in contacting a female that didn't want anything to do with him, I suggested not to but stalkers gotta stalk. He blocked me after unfriending so I'll expect a message from him asking if I miss him. 
      
Today my psychic intuition made me check if he was still my FB friend and when he wasn't I went looking for him....  like you do. One guy unfriended me ages ago and when I messaged him he said it was a mistake and friended me again .... he was being polite and it was my Palestine and Hamas are cunts but so is Israel stance, he had a big boner for Israel no matter who they kill and didn't like me pointing out facts. We aren't friends anymore.  

 When you block one Soren Knudsen two will rise up .... Hail Hydra! 

Well sorry as fuck for having an opinion that differed. I wasn't feeling the butthurt because I have more of an understanding of discrimination. Northern Ireland doesn't allowed ghey marriage or abortion .... because of Christian beliefs. I am constantly embarrassed by the law makers and the bigoted people in general, if someone said how backwards Northern Ireland was I'd agree. Boycott Northern Ireland see if I care .... we're xenophobic anyway so yay!

It's Northern Ireland ya dumb American and me boycotting Indiana was a joke. You've got more chance of seeing yer dick than I've got in going to Indiana .... aye angled mirrors are marvelous.

Timbuktu (spell it rite) can fuck off as well! I'm a west coaster, yon stuff in the middle is what you fly over going to Callyfornia.

It says a lot about a person when they will talk about fighting a 77 year-old and get really angry about a boycott than actually getting angry about the bill that caused the outrage in the first place. Now I know his brother doesn't like gheys but he "claims" to be against the bill himself .... yeah, sure, as long as no one insults Indiana right? 

Are his other friends catching on? Voting is irrelevant, this ain't about no politicking, this is about the real world .... on the Internet. I will fight Takei and kill the elite class just as I've done with countless wizards and orcs, I once slayed an army of dark elves and never had any pants on the whole time.   

Old Knudsen doesn't care, he thinks this is quite funny. All bets are off and rational thinking doesn't happen if you insult The Hoosier State.  Dumb people just annoy me. 

There are some decent people in Indiana who care about equality and not looking like a complete tool, there's Gary Indiana, the mayor of Indianapolis Greg Ballard, the Indiana tourist board and countless businesses who do not want to fight Takei.

We just hear about the bad ones more because idiots are louder, even when they block you on Facebook. Crystal says that if a ghey couple wanted pizza for their wedding they would say, "no" at her pizza shop.

Not because she hates gheys but because of her religious beliefs as laid down by Jesus when he said, "love everyone except for shirt lifters who want to get married" ... well ok he didn't say a thing about that and it wasn't because he isn't/wasn't real. Love yer Neighbor, turn the other cheek ... fuck the Bible is ghey!

'Freedom of religion, protecting my religious beliefs' .... all these soundbites we hear from the likes of Fleggers, 'chipping away at our culture'  or from the likes of Osama and Daesh, 'death to the infidels'  it's a pattern of one dimensional thinking that one phrase can say it all but ask them to elaborate and they get stuck, they just repeat the phrase or any other they have heard. Their cognitive complexity has gone. 

Crystal's father Kevin hates gheys too doesn't think gheys should suffer the curse known as marriage either. He says that he chose to be heterosexual just as the gheys chose to be ghey so it's basically their own fault.
1983 Kevin just had a marathon sex fest with Dutch Ingersoll who runs the Happy endings boutique in Indiana. Lying there smoking his ciggie, Dutch lying there exhausted with Kev's cum matted into his hairy chest. Kevin thinks about how much his hole hurts and how after various one night stands he still doesn't like the taste of cum and on that day in 1983 he chose to be heterosexual ... Dutch's heart was broken but it's Kev's choice.

I think we all can remember the day we chose to be straight, ghey, bi or buy. Just like when black people decide to not be white then get all offended when a cop shoots them.... or how Asian people refuse to open their eyes fully just to be cunts, you reap what you sow.

One day of backlash and Memories pizza has closed for now, I guess they reaped. 

Governor Pence in his closed to the public signing of his bill with religious nuts and anti-ghey lobbyists, if only the people of Indiana cared enough to vote for nice people... or to even vote.   

It's sad that the 85% of people in Indiana who say they are Christian feel that they need protecting. The good news is that the Wiccans and Satanists can also discriminate too under this bill.

Arkansas has just signed a bill like Indiana, who the fuck wants to go to Arkansas? Yep I'll be boycotting that one too, this is so fucking easy. Unlike Krinnon I'll be boycotting yon pizza place too.   

Abraham Lincoln moved to Indiana as a boy, he could have said this about the Religious Freedom Restoration Act and about doing and standing up for the right thing in general. Old Knudsen believes in this as a means to stay right. 

   "When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."

I Value Opinion

Freydis Eriksdottir

Old Knudsen is proud of his Viking blood, aye when his great great grandmother raped yon Viking warrior thus scaring the others so much to flee in terror which saved our island, that was probably the most amazing thing in the Old Knudsen lineage until the birth of Old Knudsen that is. 

Freydis Eriksdottir was all woman with a bit of animal thrown in. It's common knowledge that Columbus discovered shit, he didn't even set foot on North America. The Vikings had been there long before him. During the fourth Viking visit to America the pregnant half sister to Leif Ericsson fought off some durty redskins armed only with her sword. She also got her husband to kill his business partners and she killed their wives and children but still, pretty fucking hard.

Vikings with names like Eric Bloodaxe were pretty motivated people.  You don't get named something The Conqueror for sitting on yer hole.

I like to read online comments on TV shows from people who think they know their history or maybe they are that dumb or they are trolling.... it's hard to tell.

Aye you have the Russians and even the bloody Normans, the Vikings took over then they integrated into society such as with Dublin. We have Viking words in our language such as anger, awe, awkward, crawl, dirt, die, freckle, glove, husband, ugly and lets not forget Yule.

Maybe they mistook the Vikings for the Moriori, a peace loving Polynesia people of the Chatham islands just off New Zealand who were slaughtered and eaten in 1835 by 900 Māori invaders. The last full blooded Moriori Tommy Solomon died in 1933.... Easy mistake to make. 

Others have a more healthy idea about the Vikings. 

The media worry about Jamie Dornan or James Corden's accent and yet American shows cast Brits with dodgy accents all the time.  The Americans probably think that Shriek is supposed to be Irish, especially when he hums Scotland the brave as the Americans use the tune for their Irish spring soap. 

One of my favourite shows is The last man on earth. Getting stuck at the end of the world with a nit picker sounds like Hell but this show makes it funny.   

Sure most of these people are under 25 which means that Old Knudsen's shit has higher IQ points. If Old Knudsen was a world leader with nukes these people would make him want to push the easy button of destruction. NEVER! fuck with the redneck from The walking dead. 

ISIS Destroy The Tomb Of Jesus

 

Not content with destroying ancient statues and the tombs belonging to Prophets Daniel and Jonah, ISIS/Daesh have also destroyed the tomb of Jesus.

In the year 33 AB (after birth) when Jesus was crucified his body was taken to Mosul to be buried with all the other greats of the Bible. The New Testament says that Jesus was alive and taken up to Heaven but the translation was wrong, instead of esben which means soul it was read as esbin which means body and so it was his soul that was alive after 3 days and taken up to Heaven, leaving his poor broken body behind.

 

The tomb of Jesus  

Of course people didn't actually really see Jesus after he died, they wanted to believe they saw or felt him but seriously ....  so quit taking this whole zombie Jesus rising from the grave so literally.  In Matthew there are mentions of Jesus' siblings and James his brother was known for his Jesus party piece as they looked quite similar so scholars believe this was attributed to some thinking that they saw Jesus.   

Jesus is in the Quran along with Jonah (swallowed by a whale) as mere prophets so Daesh did not think anything of destroying his tomb.

Pat Robertson the American counter-part to the Pope had been warning that this could happen and has been unsuccessfully for years demanding that the body of Jesus be moved to his rightful place of Lexington Virginia which happens to be Robertson's home town.

Robertson demanded yesterday that the anti-Christ Obama be removed from office and that the US should go and bomb someone or something in divine retribution. 47 Republican senators have signed Robertson's petition for this action. At the time of this writing the petition had 48 signatures.

When asked about the offensive against ISIL and what plans it had to defeat them the White house commented, "We and our allies are continuing to bomb key positions in Syria, Yemen and maybe Belgium we are also having a huge display of military might on the border of Ukraine, if you want to know more watch the President on The late late show tonight."  
  

The skull of John the Baptist on display at the British Museum.

There have been rumors that when the British occupied Mosul in 2003 they replaced all the holy bodies with replicas and keep the real thing at the British museum in London as they do with many of the world's priceless antiquities because you just can't trust yon ragheads, this has not been confirmed though.