Thatcher 2.0 Has Been Installed: Resistance Is Futile

Theresa May who is taking over as the British Prime Minister when David Cameron says, "fuck it, I'm done" will not be starting Article 50, the two year mechanism that starts the UK for leaving the EU when she takes office.
Instead she'll be invoking the rite of Prima nocta that means she can shag any bride or groom on their wedding night. May who changed her surname from Cumbucketry to May as she wanted to sound more enigmatic than porn starry hasn't had a good shag in decades though has fucked over many in her time including the police when she made cuts to them last year. Police officers are now 4 inches shorter, tasers won't have batteries and vehicles can only be used for 3 hours every week.

There will be no lube as is the Tory way. 

May has a face for Hollywood and a beach ready bod has often been a distraction for other politicians. George Osbourne famously gave a speech on Inner titty crime which many put down to him being off his head on coke again. 

He had to be held up as he kept falling in the direction of May babbling something about inner city motor boating. Afterwards he was rushed to hospital and it was found that as well as the usual drugs he had 4 pints of semen in his stomach ... he'd been cutting back you see.  George is sooo curious at times. 
 
May also said that as well as Prima nocta she will also be starting Article Ragnarök. First the utter destruction of the economy which has already begun thanks to Brexit but she'll also be destroying the NHS and getting rid of pesky things like the European Court of Human Rights. The ECHR has long gotten in the way of her having prisoners tortured which isn't very cool as they probably deserve it.

In the US cops shoot people they suspect of being up to no good, why can't we? It took 12 years to deport Muslim cleric Abu Qatada to Jordan. She said at the time, "I would have had him flogged if it wasn't for the meddling ECHR." 
Reasonable grounds for suspicion will now have you sent to the oubliette. I have no idea what that is but it sounds nice. Just rolls off the tongue in a playful manner.
 
It has always been the Tory's aim to re-write Britain's human rights laws because they think we could probably put up with a lot more than we do. To be honest we do need a cull and a jolly good thrashing. 

I saw a young person with shoulder length hair the other day. I said "get a hair cut you fucken hippy" sure she started to cry and ran off to her mother but the wee fucker was holding up the line at the Ice cream van and I wanted me poke with a flake. I felt justified. 

Last month the politicians all wanted their cuntry back and now all they want is sexy back. 

After Ragnarök which she ensures is for our own good there will be a smaller, much easier to maintain UK called London with other areas called Districts. There will be a District 9 for the bloody foreigners as nobody wants them .... the people voted them out for fucks sake.

As with the old Norse legends after the complete destruction a few slaves people will be spared as will a few political leaders gods. May has not said who it will be but Jeremy Corbyn is not holding out much hope but don't worry, his mates in Sinn Féin have gotten him an Irish passport. You too can get an Irish passport for £500,000 or $5,00 American. 

If yer grandparents ever ate cabbage and corned beef and if you drink a lot then you automatically qualify to be Irish, not that you'd really want to. I'm sick of eating potatoes every fucken day to be sure. 

Instead of needs based welfare benefits which has been vastly abused by the old, poor and disabled we'll have competitions or games which will be televised. The winners will then be eligible to qualify for benefits and will have gotten some exercise after fighting to the death ... it sounds so exciting, we'll be on the telly, we might even see some boobies. 

An arena has already started getting built near the town of Hungerford and it is thought they'll be named the Hungerford games or The Benefits Extravaganza Give Away. Anyways I hear it'll be points based so therefore totally fair for everyone. 

May has also called for all the Dalmatian pups in the land to be brought to Number 10, no idea what that's about. Being plebs we don't get to ask questions from non-elected leaders of the cuntry.  

Old Knudsen can't wait to have a bit of sex appeal at # 10 as it was a real challenge to masturbate to pictures of David Cameron. Theresa May but Old Knudsen would. 

   


  

David Cameron was Just Kidding About Brexit

Just kidding, eh Boris? You should have seen Nigel's face. He's still not in power.

As like after bad sex or a meal that didn't taste like it should have but you were really in the mood for it the people that voted for the UK to leave the EU are justifying their choices. "see the world didn't end" these are the same people that can't remember what they did last week and would rather not think about future things because it hurts their heads.
Scotland will vote for independence and Northern Ireland will go back to exporting bombs because no more EU money is coming in. Hey Game of Thrones is shot here so Old Knudsen isn't inclined to join up again to stop them from their bombing. You make Jon Snow go to Slovakia to film, you will pay.    

 Thomas Mair wasn't able to vote after he killed MP Jo Cox but wants to thank everyone for making this a great day for him and for England.

The Leave campaign somehow thought that others thought things would be different the next day and that the shit would hit the fan and we'd have Armageddon the day after the vote .... things happen over time you knobs. We'll still be in the EU for the next 2 years ffs.

All that happened was the pound hit its lowest figure since 1985 .... when we were in recession. Forms for Irish passports flew out faster than new iPhones from Post Offices. Travel agents stopped their foreign money services as everyone was panic buying due to holidays costing more. David Cameron sort of resigned and Boris Johnson licked his lips at the thought of becoming the next Prime Minister.

The dreaded article 50 was mentioned. That is the button that gets pushed to proceed with EU divorce proceeding.  OK I bet there are some fuck wits out there that think it's an actual button.

Fringe MP Nigel Farage says that white British people have nothing to fear.

Nigel Farage was on the TV and was pinned down like Jesus on a cross. The Leave Campaign told the lie that the UK paid the EU £350m a week. They kept saying that all that money could pay for hospitals, Farage said he didn't promise anything and it was the vague "Leave Campaign" that said that.

Being fooled like that is justification enough to slap a Brexiter. You lie with dogs expect to wake with fleas.

No one demanded this vote and the win margin was slight so this isn't over yet. A petition for a new referendum got enough votes to be considered in the House of Commons in just a few hours. Right minded people .... sensible people want to be in the EU.
It's like when Scotland voted NO for Independence, those that voted no said to themselves, 'what the fuck was I thinking?'

Old Knudsen is sad, the kind of sad when the ghey marriage vote loses in Northern Ireland or when the DUP keep getting re-elected. It picks him up a little that Northern Ireland and Scotland voted to stay in the EU, that's something.  I did tell you that people tend not to do the right thing but rather on how they feel emotionally. 

There is a long game being played here, possibly to get bills that the EU would block passed and cleared without any attention drawn to them. The British government gets to rewrite tons of laws to help the Tories privatize the NHS and to detain people without justice getting in the way.  Dodgy trade deals will get signed and we'll take our cuntry back ... well the Tories will.
The National Security Council will have to rewrite their intelligence gathering protocols as the French and the Germans no longer have to share info on who just returned from Syria. Expect our laws to be more US like from now on.      

Enough with the protest voting. The people you think are your new saviors are just the same as the rest if not worse and vastly more unqualified. Pretend yer adults for once. 

Lets Bomb Syria Into Happiness

A Tornado warning .... as in RAF Tornado ... lol! 

Tis the season to be jolly, blah blah blah, de fucken blah blah. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, I changed my Facebook profile pic so much in support of the victims of atrocities that my account was flagged for unusual activity. Only white victims or cute brown children of course because seriously, if Santa doesn't see fit to visit Africa then why should I care? According to my e-mails the place is full of bankers and princes living it big with inheritances anyway. 

David Cameron had already had the RAF bombing Syria since last year but he wanted to really get stuck in there so he had a vote to get permission to bomb Syria. The public went crazy and suddenly cared about bombing Syria and so my FB news feed got clogged up again with dead children.

Why did Kim Kardashian get up the duff again? We need her selfies now more than ever. Luckily she just dropped her sprogg who shall be named John .... West as Kanye is a big fan of the John West no drain tuna.

I don't care about fluffy kittens so why do people think I care about snotty kids? Yes I'll tear up at someone being cruel to a dog but unlike kids and cats, dogs aren't utter cunts. All Old Knudsen requests is a bit of blind loyalty and obedience, is that too much to ask for? ..... maybe the odd lick at my old bitter balls when I cover them in peanut butter, don't you dare judge me!   

Lift yer own shite since yer owner is too busy pretending not to see you dumping.

All the civvies have been telling me that war is Hell. The way I see it is that war has been abused and used for gain, atrocities are committed and civilians who only want peace are always caught in the cross fire but should we really complain when there are 7.3 billion cuntbags in the world?

Yet again people are crying for brown people covered in dust and are even speaking up for Assad, "He was such a polite and quiet young man" aye who bombs his own people and tortures you for being ghey. I'm having flashbacks to Gazza as well as the Paris shooting when Hamas firing rockets and the Lebanon shooting was ignored because Je suis cheese eating surrender monkeys ...  so much nativity and hypocrisy.  

   The French rounding up the Jews for the Germans. 

While the shootings were a terrible thing to happen, Old Knudsen did not pretend to like the French for a week. Do you still like the French after they bombed the fuck out of Syria as a response to the shooting? I bet GW Bush does.

Oh Burundi is still on the brink of another civil war with 240 people killed since April by the way in case you didn't know. Is Darfur still a thing? The civilian population is being bombed in a fresh wave of genocide but since the Western media hasn't spoon fed you to care about it .... who cares? Aren't they cute babies that deserve attention?

All we want to do is look good, feel better about ourselves and take offense when a shooting isn't called terrorism fast enough. 

You can care but there is no point getting all dramatic over events you cannot control other than changing yer profile pic, a hashtag or a petition. 

David Cameron said that if you vote against bombing Syria you are a "terrorist sympathiser," no one had to threaten Hilary with name calling for her to vote for the wars of terror. He is just poking at the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn because after the vote was passed he said what a long campaign it would be. They might have to use the really big bombs known as the baby busters to make sure they get the job done right.  

The British even have a bomb that scatters out Lego pieces for people to step on ... ouch, someone call Amnesty my vagina weeps international. 

 

   I vow that no school will be left standing .... terrorists love to hide in schools and learn shit you see. 

I don't know about you but if I lived in a Syrian town that the ISholes were coming to I wouldn't say, "hey lets hang around and see what happens, I'm sure they'll respect my secular view" I'd be swimming to the nearest Greek island, refugee me up you cunts, give me all the benefits!

The Russians, US, Turks, Assad and various Arab nations are all bombing Syrian towns, the Syrians should actually hope it's the Brits doing the bombing because we have these really class and very polite Brimstone missiles. Allegedly more acurate than the rest they have a smaller explosive amount so yay! the kill radius has gone from 50 feet to 20. We can totally kill people that might look like terrorists, in other werds brown people. 

That right there is surgical precision and if you knew the NHS you'd know all about surgical precision, "we'll cut you open and take a look as tests are costly and take too long, I have to clear the books for an audit you see."   

War fact: You have more chance of dying accidentally during NHS surgery than during a British surgical airstrike.

 The 70,000 fighters.

According to Dave there are 70,000 opposition fighters fighting Assad, does that include the 54 that the US trained? Yeah they couldn't find anymore than that and then 30 of them defected to al-Nursa with most of their weapons. 

I don't know what right the US has in backing the rebels, this is just an attempted coup that isn't so private. The shit they do all over the place.
Then they brought the ISholes into Syria to justify the west being there. They aren't fooling Old Knudsen with their pretend war against the ISholes.    

What if we didn't bomb Syria? Everyone else would and we'd feel left out. Also we supply Saudi Arabia with Brimstone missiles so Syria is like a sales demo for other nations to see. 

The Ministry of Defense and the Pentagon stopped asking for Old Knudsen's advice when he put WMD on a report he gave to Bush and Blair, it was supposed to say WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do) but writing in crayon hopped up on tequila and goof balls makes my hands a wee bit shaky.    

Here's what we need to do Obamer. Bomb Syria if you want, whatever, yer never gonna beat Assad cos the Russians are onto you so it's time to wrap it up a little before the election so Hilary gets in with no probs ... it's called the long game. 

Have certain Saudi sheikhs, (you know the ones) mysteriously contract MERS so they quit sending money to the ISholes. Play hard ball with Turkey, if they want EU membership then they had better secure their border and stop buying oil from the ISholes. Turkey also has to stop bombing the Kurds cos we need those fanatical moderate Islamic fighters as ground troops to werk with all the other foreign (but not western) fighters that we sometimes loosely call the opposition. We need to back up the fighters with air assaults hitting enemy food, water and ammo dumps, yes infrastructure will suffer, as will many civilians but that is the only way to kill the terrorists that shield themselves with innocents. If it was nice they'd call it pleasant instead of war.

Bombing Dresden worked well to destroy enemy support from civilians so why not Syria? When you bomb and maim you tie up resources and time that the enemy could use to mount an offensive.   

Blowing up children in Syria so they don't litter the Mediterranean beaches, very noble ....  war is in no way noble, it sucks but I'm of the opinion that many many people are in need of a good killing to make a better world, innocents do get hurt though and more would if these people become stronger.

A lovely bloke, loved killing children and fart jokes.

At least they aren't looking forward to Christmas. Remember the tactics of Genghis Khan to kill all the males that were old enough to remember how he had invaded and slaughtered, that is how to defeat terrorism.

Or you can do what South Africa and Northern Ireland did and give the terrorists government jobs and make them a part of the system, the Romans did that with the people they conquered but always left a Roman boss man to over see things.

If there is one thing to remember this joyful Christmas/holiday season it's that you can't have slaughter without laughter so quit being so down on it and enjoy.
  

 

David Cameron Suggests You Set Up A Go Fund Me Page If You Want To Eat

Today David Cameron announced yet another series of austerity cuts but assures the public that the hard working people of the country will not be effected, just the old, unemployed and disabled. Children will not be effected at all either .... unless their parents are old, unemployed or disabled and will probably not even notice the cuts to healthcare and education.

To combat obesity free school lunches will be scraped and school bullying will be taught on the curriculum in an effort to properly body shame fatties into being slim and healthy.  

Later next month he expects to give details on the new Christmas and living taxes designed to make paying the government more money even easier than before. The new slogan 'Having less means having more' is expected to motivate the nation and to remind us that we are all in this together .....  whatever 'this' is.


It's not all doom and gloom, if you go onto the government's website you will see instructions to help people set up their own Go fund me page. Obviously those who get more donations need and deserve it more.

Cameron's Poppygate

Accused of photoshopping a poppy onto David Cameron's jacket, Downing street have issued a statement.

"We here at Downing street believe in transparency of government and respect the British public too much to try to pass off a fake picture. The poppy in the picture is indeed a real poppy and probably really does exist. Mr Cameron is sad because of all the dead people who have fought in the wars, if you look closely you can see a tear which was not added in either. We would like to remind the British public that Tony Blair's body count was higher and that under a Conservative government our war dead has been  63%  less than the excessive Labour government under Blair. We are all in this together which is why we are introducing a Christmas tax to help our troops get the weapons and equipment they need to defeat ISIS so support our troops or you're a terrorist!"  

 Less patriotic haters are gonna hate. Maybe people like Jeremy Corbyn have time for photos.

A photo taken from his recent Spanish holiday. 

 

David Cameron Hates Refugees

David Cameron doesn't like migrants. He has referred to them as swarms and has spoken out against them on numerous occasions. He doesn't want them in Britain spreading their foreign ways (especially Muslim) about in front of the good white British people. How can he fight against the sand savage when they are in Britain claiming benefits?
Cameron also hates British people who claim benefits or are old and sick, he doesn't want a load more over who don't even speak English. Bringing in migrants or refugees is just bringing in more people he can't create jobs for and who can't afford to pay for a college education. Lazy scroungers I believe he calls them.  

So is it odd that before Home Secretary Theresa May was to give a speech about bringing in refugees that Cameron was on the telly saying how too many brown people refugees were a bad thing for the UK?

Theresa May then came on to say that too many poor and uneducated wogs refugees would be harmful to the UK, they wouldn't be able to be assimilated into British society.

She stopped short of saying the words, overwhelmed and invasion but that was what she was hinting at. Before little Alan Kurdi was washed up on a Turkish beach she would have probably said something like the migrant menace.

Your average everyday Brit. 

I'm not sure what the British identity is anymore, it used to be tough, stoic and slightly racist, a begrudger but nice to your face who is willing to put up with a lot of hardship from their superiors because you have to know yer place though they'd whine constantly while suffering and for about 80 years afterwards too. We used to be able to queue and would be polite especially in front of the inferior natives who we'd be exploiting.       

We are in no way racist anymore, we just don't like the coloureds, we still begrudge and whine and we still put up with a lot of shit because the law has probably been changed so you didn't have a choice .... not that we'd know the law because thinking is difficult and for rich people. We're now so self entitled that the Americans are disgusted. No longer tough we jump queue and take the piss. The inferior natives are all college educated but we're still better than them because ... well because they aren't white. 

Oh look who supports blood sports. 

So if you are white, went to a fancy university and stuck yer cock into the mouth of dead pig then I can see what a threat diversity would be for you and your kind. Old Knudsen doesn't agree on anyone's take on religion nor does he agree about what makes you British or even Irish. Iconoclasts like Old Knudsen do not seek yer approval or that of yer society cos I've found that yer society is full of arseholes I wouldnae pish on if they were on fire.

Diversity, I say bring it on, even if it destroys us. 




  

Cameron Defends His Pig Sex Act

I'm gonna look after you real good.

A book by Lord Micheal Ashcroft, the spurned lover of British Prime Minister David Cameron describes how Cameron (during his university years) put his penis into the mouth of a dead pig as an initiation into the Piers Gaveston society, a private club well known for its drug and drink fueled excesses,child sacrifices and Satanic rituals and orgies. 

The claim cums from several MP's who have seen photographic evidence of the act. Pig fucking/love making has recently become a trend with celebs and politicians such as Richard Dawkins and many of the GOP White House nopefuls in an attempt to show their disdain for Islam. 

Donald Trump starts every political rally with a pig hump to whip the crowd into a frenzy, of course only leggy blonde pigs.   

In a statement Mr Cameron said, "I have nothing against the swarms of benefit sponging migrants or against the rising tide of Islam in general, I was young, high as a kite and in my defense she was a totally babe .... at least it was a severed pig's head and not a chubby intern lol."   

     

David Cameron Furious

David Cameron is said to be furious because the 5 Sinn Fein members at Westminster (who are elected but refuse to take their seats) somehow got into the Westminster drinks cabinet and ran amok through the hallowed halls of parliament.

Feces was smeared on the walls and Tiocfaidh ár lá was written in Sharpie on the leather benches. "This is exactly why we don't let the Paddys near the drinks cabinet" fumed Cameron. 

DUP politician Sammy Wilson said, "nobody offered me a drink" adding that he would have said "NO" and walked out in line with the policy of his party.   

Gerry Adams the leader of Sinn Fein denied ever having been a member of Sinn Fein and claimed to have no knowledge as to what alcohol is. 

Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland Martin McGuinness condemned the act then suggested that maybe the government was behind the whole thing and was probably responsible for 9/11 too.  

 Jeremy Corbyn 3rd on left with some friends. 6 people 3 cups.

Police aren't sure how they got access to the keys but they won't be charged as you can't blame a volcano for erupting, it's what they do and you can barely see the vomit stains now. Only three people hold keys to the drinks cabinet, David Cameron, the Speaker of the House and the leader of the opposition which is the newly elected Jeremy Corbyn.  

Corbyn was unavailable for comment as he was at a fund raiser for 'Homes for Hamas'  for just £3 a month you can help a Hamas terrorist freedom fighter build a safe new home complete with tunnels to hide their weapons and kidnapped Israelis in. 



 

 

Shift In Perception

 We must stop these swarms of migrants!

So the British call their foreigners "migrants" but it's said with a sneer and really means "illegal alien" which is what the right wing Americans call Hispanics, even the totally legal ones cos they don't got the smarts.

We were shocked at loads of black men at the French port of Calais trying to get into the back of trucks in order to get into Britain. The news outlets had us convinced they were all going to claim benefits while they rape our weemen and be all durty and foreigner like all over our precious Britishness.

 Lets get to Britain so we can breed with their ugly weemen and get paid for it by the tax payer.

As usual Old Knudsen was ahead of the crowd and was saying how that if we invade cuntries and bomb the fuck out of them we should accept responsibility for those fleeing the conflict. He has been saying this for a good while now because he sees the shite that gets called news and he forms his own opinions ... shocking huh. 

Other cuntries that aren't even fighting in the Middle East have stood up and have taken these "migrants" for years but not the UK or the US. Even those in Afghanistan who worked as interpreters for the military got shit on and told to fend for themselves cos we don't want them ... the Tallyban do want them but not in a nice way. 

I saw an article where a Swedish guy was asked if Sweden should take more asylum seekers and he said "yes" and then he was asked even if it meant that he paid more taxes? He replied straight away, "yes I would if it meant helping someone" .... FUCK! could you imagine a Brit saying that? "bloody government taxes you and pays for lazy people on the Dole"  an American would probably have a heart attack as they have a natural knee jerk reaction to taxes and laws in general, they shouldn't apply to them and why should anyone have it easy, they didn't ? ..... yeah, living under the poverty line is sooo easy. 

 

      Three year-old Aylan Kurdi

Then it happened, the thing that didn't happen at Sandy Hook or during Operation Protective Edge, people appeared to care about children dying the way that they should care. Bodies washed up on a beach in Turkey, they were asylum seekers from Syria trying to get to Sweden by way of Greece but their small, overcrowded boat capsized.
Aylan's little body lying face down in the surf with his red shirt on went viral more than any of the other bodies. Only his father Abdullah was the only one who survived from the Kurdi family, he lost his wife and his 3 year-old and 4 year-old sons. He now wants to return to Syria to bury them and to sit by their graves until he himself dies.

Now all of a sudden they are called refugees and everyone loves them ..... but only from Syria, got it? ... maybe some from Iraq if they pretend to be from Syria.  

I was deeply moved by the photo but instead of helping them we need to beat ISIS and stabilize the region, US intel say that ISIS are hiding in Assad's palace so we'll bomb that. It's what Aylan would want. 

Has David Cameron been promoting austerity all this time, cutting programs, closing hospitals, cutting the military and police in order to plead poor and convince the British people we're full up and struggling to get by? Nicely played, we really feel like we're fucked, it'd take a lot for us to want to bring in a load of Muslims.

Germany have already put us to shame by taking in 800,000 refugees. It wasn't that long ago they were doing Nazi like rallies against Muslims. Spoiler alert! Stay out of the shower units and if you see any ovens, run.

Cameron was forced into vaguely saying how the UK will do its duty but his word is worth nothing, ask a Scot if you don't believe that. He also announced a further £100m in humanitarian aid for camps in Syria, Turkey, Jordan and the Lebanon. What £100m?  Where the fuck did that come from Davey boy? Lets not go mad, where are our new nurses and can you do something about all the potholes? 

 Then I said we'd do out duty.

Public opinion has spoken, they don't like dead toddlers on beaches, it makes them sad. Yeah fuck the numerous other deaths. Public opinion is a very strange thing. It reminds me of when cute white kids that get abducted are never out news but the brown or black ones barely get a mention. Aylan's face wasn't visible, he could have been anyone's child lying there, maybe that is why it worked. An anonymous every child. 

This picture weeks before prepped us for the fact that these migrants refugees might actually be real people, humans that love their children.

Bob Geldof has jumped on this band wagon as Africans are so 1980's. The trendy activist who recently said that weemen need to be educated into not having as many children (he could be the next Pope with tact like that) is worth around £32 million has said he'd house 4 refugee families in his two homes until they got on their feet and made their own purchases. 

Is he expecting refugee CEO's or something? Africans would have loved that offer and so would the homeless in the UK and Ireland, I guess the picture of Aylan really did make him sad ... much like the effect his Bandaid songs have on me. 

Four families Googled him and saw how many people around him seem to kill themselves and said, "we aren't that badly off, it's only 100 miles to Germany, we'll make it in no time."  

Old Knudsen approves of helping refugees, some good needs to come out of this shite. For once it isn't them and us who we fear for being different, it's "oh those poor people" that right there is why Donald Trump will fail in his presidential bid, people are just sick and tired of divisive politics and being used and told to think things that no nice, decent person should be thinking. 

Humanitarians don't build walls to keep poor desperate people at bay, they empathize and think, 'there go I but for the grace of Gog' and lend a hand.
   
   

Why Is The UK Bombing Syria?

Do you know where ISIS are?

Like every great leader, David Cameron has bled on the battlefield fighting to keep his nation safe. I don't want to hear a bad werd said against him, he's done 2 tours of Tuscany, 2 in Portugal and he's returning there next month. Mr Cameron has seen some shit, some gnarly soldier shit with peanuts and corn.

He's been awarded the Medal of Velour and the Victoria Secret for bravery in the face of insurmountable odds and was fatally wounded twice ... he got better, thank you NHS. Unlike Senator John McCain he wasn't stupid enough to get captured because real heroes run fast.

So when he vows to team up with the US and step up action in Syria to beat the "scourge" known as  ISIS, well I say, "look out ISIS cos you're your yer fucked".   

Hold on, wha? Syria? Who the fuck wants to go into Syria? In 2013 MP's voted against attacking targets in Syria. 

He says that only the US have bombed as many people in Iraq as the UK have but I guess he wants to bomb more interesting ones. Maybe those assholes that keep running off to join ISIS, aye they need a good bombing .... stupid cunts.

Since the war in Iraq is more or less won .... well except that 200 killed in a car bomb near Baghdad and the fact they own half the Anbar Province including Falluja and Ramadi, apart from that it's just about won.  

Ronald Reagan (left) also fought in the war when he wasn't selling weapons to Iran. 

It's almost as if they can't beat ISIS in one place so lets go and bomb Assad's ISIS' oil refineries instead. When did we suddenly go back to being the US lapdog? Did the Saudis give up and concentrated on bombing Yemen instead? 

 

I've always said that only lawrence .... Jennifer lawrence can unite the Arabs. 

Cameron who wants to cut the British army to a mere 50,000 which is as big an army that we had when the Americans beat us. The cunt is using the tourist shooting at Tunisia to justify going after ISIS .... now the 'Come to Tunisa' commercials all make sense. They just leave off the tag line, 'Come to Tunisia, we're waiting to shoot you.'  Like Bush with 9/11. 

It wouldn't surprise me if the US and the UK nudged Daesh into attacking Tunisia AGAIN this year but this time to get the right kind of tourist, British.

He said, "The Great British resolve faced down Hitler, defeated communism and saw off the IRA's assault on our way of life".    

 Captain America beating up Hitler.

Yes we faced down Hitler and cunningly let the Americans and the Russians defeat him. We defeated communism by making the US make cheesy action movies that made the commies all want to be westernised ..... yes, we are that clever. We saw off the IRA by giving them well paying jobs and positions of power .... in yer face Fenian cocksuckers, you fell for it, and you get yer expenses paid too. 

Churchill talked up the English superiority complex, just a weak version of what the master race was dishing out. He'd tell us how we were losing but make it sound noble because we were doing it with dignity, he was a right sneaky bugger. 

There is a new offensive going on in Iraq right now. Forces want to cut off supply lines from Turkey that go to Raqqa. I just think it's fucking amazing how we ended up in Syria. "Yeah I know we did that whole democracy thing but I just did what I wanted and the RAF are bombing Syria, I'm off on me hols to Portugal, latters."   

David Cameron Needs A Holiday Or Three

David Cameron who just recently begrudgingly took a 10% pay rise after shrugging, "nothing I can do about it so I'll give more to charity then" and it's true, the woman at Tesco collecting for guide dogs for blind alcoholics with cancer said he did indeed put a 20p instead of his usual 10p into her bucket. 

Politicians pay may not be performance related but I'm sure they deserve £74,000 a year ....

Unlike all those lazy healthcare workers who tweeted to show Jeremy Hunt that they were working weekends .... aye yer doing an 80 hour shift but you have plenty of time to take a selfie, cut their pay stat!


Cameron also begrudgingly takes 3-4+ holidays every year and will be taking 3 this summer. You can't have the leader of one of the most self-entitled cuntries in the world getting ill from over work. I'm sure the recent election was very hard work. People say that digging ditches is hard work but you try being a politician. All that stress of hiding yer true intentions from the public can be tough. 

He maintains that he is still in charge of the nation while on holiday which makes you wonder what he does all day. I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting my eyes and wondering what public services to cut.

He just wants to remind the British public that while many of us struggle to pay our bills and see little hope in the future especially as more government cuts are being made that we are all still in this together.

Of course he plans to be in this together in Portugal. He'll also have breaks in Cornwall and Scotland but not in the shit places that normal folks go to.  


 

Do We Really Need Human Rights?

 

 Keep those nurses and Scots away from me .... ugh!

So the UK had a general election, of course David Cameron was going to win it was just a case of how. Seriously folks did you think that Ed Miliband was Prime Minister material? Some people you can just look at and you know that even if they are nice people who wear all their emotions on their faces in unguarded moments they are just out of their league.

So after Dave had his celebratory booze up what is he getting stuck into first? The start of the £8bn for the NHS? Membership to the EU referendum? 500 more schools? 200,000 new homes? Getting rid of tax for low income people? the increased childcare allowence? Going after all those big companies who avoid paying taxes? The £100bn on infrastructure? It's marching season and those potholes need filled, you don't want wee Jamie Bryson falling doon a pothole and dying like King Billy did .... or do you?

I'll tell you what Dave is doing first.

'David Cameron To Scrap Human Rights'

Sounds drastic right? Surely you just can't scrap human rights, what is this Nazi Germany? They want rid of the pesky EU version of human rights as they are too soft and want a British, kick up the backside we don't do emotions version. What a nice start, you voted for us so now bam! Fuck you morons.

You know who wouldn't take away YOUR human rights? Ed Miliband, that's who. He was a guppy in a pool full of sharks and the Tory voters poured some chum in.

Here is how they are selling it. 'Those evil criminals in prison can vote and can artificially inseminate their partners because the EU loves pedophiles!'  Why are they worried about them voting? They probably all voted Tory as prisons in the UK are more like halfway houses unlike in Florida where they are like the Thunderdome, you think our criminals voted for change? ... they love things the way they are.   

The Tory revision of human rights seems innocent enough but what they want to do is not make them human rights but to make them human terms and conditions may apply rights. 

Their version gets rid of your freedoms, it's not a case of 'well I've done nothing wrong I've got nothing to fear' it's a case of if you get in their way, are in the wrong place at the wrong time or are a nuisance or if they need a patsy. 

You will lose the right to life ....  a fair trial ....  not to be tortured ....  not be punished or imprisoned if you have done nothing wrong .... freedom of expression, thought and conscience ..... to marry and start a family .... owing land or possessions ..... education .... fair elections .... 

If the government wants to screw you over they want the law to be able to do that. 'This guy is a troublemaker, luckily we changed the law and can now silence him' They have already been taking your rights to protest against fracking and will drill at a slant under yer homes if they want to.

Interviewing some potential terror suspects.

If they have a terror suspect they will have the time to work on them and to get a win or fabricate a win in order to look good. Think of habeas corpus the government takes the right to control the media and the public to it's own best interest and the government's best interests are not always that of the people.   

Riots in London the other week? .... funny how the BBC just didn't mention them, royal picture scandal? ..... funny how the British media did not publish them. 

Easier to keep Britain together and united if you have laws that let you um bend the law. 

The US have a similar method known as the Patriot act where they can cite 'National security' and close you down, bug yer home or read your e-mails. 

Your father said some bad things about fracking, I just need you sign a paper that says he did. 

Why does Cameron want this? Well he wants to keep his Tory fan base happy by sticking it to the EU and to woo some Ukip people to him and with the likes of Edward Snowden he wants to be able to squash any whistle blowers, then you have George Clooney's wife taking the British government to court because some Catholics were tortured by British soldiers during the Troubles in the 70's .... The British government has got sooo much dodgy shit so they do not want constant court cases, we haven't even touched all those people of privilege who have had their pedophilia protected by the police for decades. 

Another thing the Tory human not rights bill has is protection of British soldiers during foreign operations, boys will be boys and rape and murder tends to happen but putting soldiers in prison is bad for moral and do you know how much it costs to train a soldier? They could grandfather their bill to include the Troubles I suppose, you had better hurry Mrs Clooney whatever yer name is. 

  

Jim Wells Hates Fags

Remember Jim Wells? He's settled into his job as the health minister for Northern Ireland very nicely except that he has just resigned. Yes maybe I was a little hard on him in my previous posts calling the DUP politician a woman hating, Gog bothering, homophobe or maybe I was spot fucking on as usual.

His recent comments that goes onto the long list of homophobic werds and actions by the DUP are that children raised in a same sex partnership are more likely to be abused. Where did he get this information from? .... why his arse that's where.

The DUP keep most of their facts and figures up their holes like how Ian Paisley jr said that allowing gay people to get married would cause fewer heterosexual people to wed. "I am pretty repulsed by gay and lesbianism. I think it is wrong. I think that those people harm themselves and - without caring about it - harm society."

The party leader Peter Robinson is standing by Wells of course, just as he has stood by other homophobic and racist Protestants. He says that the views expressed by Wells are not the view of the DUP and not even Wells' view, I guess he just says shit for fun.

Peter Robinson and his wife Iris believe that homosexuality can be cured by scripture and therapy and when Iris said that a ghey should go get cured Peter defended her by saying "It wasn’t Iris Robinson who determined that homosexuality was an abomination, it was the Almighty."

Iris said:  “There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children.”

Iris has been a lot quieter ever since she was caught helping her young lover set up his dream cafe.

Peter even backed the conscience clause that DUP weasel Paul Givan tried to pass that would discriminate against queers just like the one Indiana had going on.... but oh no, not his party's view.

Peter Robinson said that Jim Wells had been under stress when he made the comments because his poor wife had been in hospital long term after having two strokes, this is not a recent thing and she is doing better now BTW.

So he wasn't under stress when he said that women who were raped should have the baby as it only punished the child if aborted and that 'they' were the ultimate victim. Wells who has not adopted any children himself has said that there are many families willing to adopt unwanted children ... so why do we still have orphanages then?   

At the weekend Jim was going door to door looking for votes and told a leezer couple that he and his party didn't approve of lifestyle choices .... oh dear and now he has done too much damage before an election.

The DUP were scrapping the barrel with him so I wonder what other bigot they have waiting to take his job.

  Jeremy Clarkson said that he punched an assistant producer, not because he wasn't able to get a steak dinner on set because the chief had gone home for the day but because he had a cancer scare on his tongue and was under stress.

(The DUP, Jeremy Clarkson, Ukip and the Daily Mail are all of similar mindsets and so can be connected to in my posts.) 

It's amazing how many people I don't hit or accuse of child abuse when I'm under stress, sure most of you fuckers need a good slap but I'll leave that to karma.
When cunts like Wells, Paisley, Givan, Edwin Poots, Peter and Iris Robinson and Jeremy Clarkson cross the line there are sadly people that agree with them and enough of them to hold the balance of power ....  that is scary and enough to make you question if maybe it's you that is wrong, well unless yer Old Knudsen of course who is never wrong.

Just read and agree with Old Knudsen and yer moral compass will always point true ... ish. 

Gerry Adams from Sinn Fein (the DUP opposition) is just as much a dick as the DUP , he'll support and will order the murdering and disappearing of whoever for his cause but denies everything. He even claims not to know who let the dogs out but that fucker knows. 

When faced with rape and child abuse within his organization (either Sinn Fein, IRA or his family) he'd rather just quietly solve things his way even if that includes belittling the victim as long as the dirt doesn't stick to him.

Bigots and cunts without the guts to come out and say what they believe in because they know in the back of their heads that it is morally wrong. Like saying, "Hitler had some great ideas."

I do agree with Adams when he said about the DUP "we'll break the bastards with equality" was the outrage at calling them bastards or that he'd use equality? Equality is only a weapon in the minds of those that fear it, other people may know it as doing the right thing.

Adams is as much of a hypocrite as anyone in the DUP and has his own fanatical agenda just as they have but we need equality.

 

If there is a hung parliament in England after the elections of 7th May the Tories may join in a pact with the DUP in order to swing the votes in their favour. This is the DUP's wet dream cum true. They'll be wanting loads of money and protection for their Loyalist marches of bigotry and maybe to teach creationism and not to have sex until married in schools .... wouldn't that be great?

David Cameron has spent years avoiding Northern Ireland, in fact anything outside of London gives him the shits. The DUP are just too stupid to reason with and a Loyalist community that aren't loyal to the crown ..... how can you get anywhere with that?

The English are worried. Sharing power with a religious right wing backwards political party that they have been able to ignore and marginalize as dem der crazy Irish fuckers that make Alabama look enlightened.

 His melted face looks more old lady like each year.

Old Knudsen wants the English to have the full DUP experience and have Peter Robinson with his melted old lady face following Cameron everywhere like Clegg has been doing. Why should we be the only ones to suffer?

Old Knudsen will be voting Alliance as usual, cos there is not much choice.