David Cameron is said to be furious because the 5 Sinn Fein members at Westminster (who are elected but refuse to take their seats) somehow got into the Westminster drinks cabinet and ran amok through the hallowed halls of parliament.
Feces was smeared on the walls and Tiocfaidh ár lá was written in Sharpie on the leather benches. "This is exactly why we don't let the Paddys near the drinks cabinet" fumed Cameron.
DUP politician Sammy Wilson said, "nobody offered me a drink" adding that he would have said "NO" and walked out in line with the policy of his party.
Gerry Adams the leader of Sinn Fein denied ever having been a member of Sinn Fein and claimed to have no knowledge as to what alcohol is.
Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland Martin McGuinness condemned the act then suggested that maybe the government was behind the whole thing and was probably responsible for 9/11 too.
Jeremy Corbyn 3rd on left with some friends. 6 people 3 cups.
Police aren't sure how they got access to the keys but they won't be charged as you can't blame a volcano for erupting, it's what they do and you can barely see the vomit stains now. Only three people hold keys to the drinks cabinet, David Cameron, the Speaker of the House and the leader of the opposition which is the newly elected Jeremy Corbyn.
Corbyn was unavailable for comment as he was at a fund raiser for 'Homes for Hamas' for just £3 a month you can help a Hamas
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