Make The World Great Again

Immigrant trouble makers 

Yes we can blame the rise in crime on immigrants. If they weren't here we wouldn't have to call them names, tell them to go home and burn their homes down. What have immigrants ever done for the cunty? Fucken Angles, Saxons and Jutes all taking good British jobs. 

I went to a Mexican food place and all they had was burritos and tacos an shit, where are the spuds? British hero Sir Francis Drake invented the potato you'd at least expect some chips or French Fries as immigrants call them. Chipping away at our British culture they are.

It's too easy to blame immigrants and Muslims etc, I miss the old days when it was Jews that were to blame for everything.

They kill Jesus yet the Romans got the blame, well played. 

 Och aye I never did do nothing

I've figured the it, I know who is to blame .... no not men, I'm sick of man shaming about how we're the ones doing the raping and starting the wars. I shagged a bird and you know what? I didn't give yer permission to suck me off so I'm the victim here. 

Check out those JCB starter buttons

Weemen re to blame .... yeah, shocker. The Bible which was written around 1887 shows Lilith refusing to have sex with Adam cos he wants to do the "normal" missionary style sex. She wanted to jump on top, do reverse cowgirl, lust and thrust, the organ grinder and other deviant positions .... who the fuck wants that?

It's a rhetorical question as the answer is obviously no one ... gross! 

Lilith got dumped and things looked good with Eve, she knew what men liked. We like it when they lie still. The only problem was she was highly suggestible and bit the apple thus spoiling Adam's sweet set up cos he was really into his garden of Eden but God said, "you had to go an listen to yon bint, no more Geraniums and potted plants for you, out of the garden!"  

Adam had to apply to the council for an allotment to grow his geraniums and mums on. Imagine the humiliation. I have a first edition Bible and it's all in there.  

Since then our male ego has been belittled and were told we have to talk about our feelings which is shite, I want to fuck or kill things ... not necessarily in that order. I want to burn, shoot and blow stuff up. I want to do things half arsed and say, "good enough". If food falls on the floor it's still good even after the 5 day rule.

I want to be able to blow snot out on the street or when there is too much saliva in my mouth I can spit it out and not get judged. When a waiter/tress or barman drops something I want to be able to cheer, laugh and not look like a dick.   
  

 The good old days. 

I want to scratch, sniff and fart and not be judged as uncouth cos I'm just being manly. People see my poor hygiene as being slovenly behavior but I don't need no negative judgements .... I can be double negatives too cos education is like poofy ... you don't watch a John Wayne film to be intellectually challenged, you watch it cos he's good at pretending to be a man.

He never says, "Get off your horse and tell me what yer thinking."

I want to make the werld great again! No one worried about the environment, everyone believed what the government told them, terrorists were white and Catholic, the few brown ones were Arabs. Everyone smoked and licked asbestos cos it never did do anyone no harm.

Fuck those sentences make my head hurt. Being a man means I don't got to think too much, thinking too much made the atom bomb.  

  
Newspapers had tits in them and we couldn't wait for large breasted gurls to turn 16 so they could get them out.

It wasn't quite being a pedo cos it was gurls and so it was fine. We wanked away to these young lasses with parental permission and it was acceptable. You never get good parents like that these days ... unless you go on the dark net, PM me I've got some contacts.

Stoopid Americans waste 2 years and the build up is just too much."those Olson twins are going to be 18 soon , know what I mean huh huh?" ... no, what does that mean? They'll not touch you as adults? Maybe it's because then you don't have to pull yerself off to them in secret, you can do it with yer mates who will no longer judge you.  

iCarly is 23, sure you may still think of her as a young teen being goofy but now she's legal, huh, huh, know what I mean?

Do hipster pedos say, "I was wanking over Hermione Granger long before she became hot"?  

We seem to live in hope that weemen in entertainment will get their tits out. Well it werked for Game of Thrones. You you even comprehend the disappointment when a hot chick doesn't get them out?  I want to tell them, 'fuck integrity you'll be old some day and you'll have wished you got them out on camera to remember the good old days.'

23 huh. A bit on the old side but not too bad.

News papers have really gone downhill now. No tits, all you have left is the slanted made up content. Thanks to liberals, feminists and commies these ladies have to get real jobs or go into porn ... see what you did?

Britain lived up to its name of GREAT we went half way around the werld and beat the Argies, that's winning one war more than those alleged superpowers .... what losers.

We had pretty ladies on our beer cans. It was a young man's rite of passage to knock one out to a beer can.

No one complained about blackface on the telly, no one complained about being sexually molested at the BBC. People didn't take offense at the smallest thing and if you were raped you were no doubt asking for it.

Now men get blamed for forcing themselves onto others WTF ... what ever happened to blame society or the parents?

Our NHS surgeons had little plastic eyelets in their surgical masks that you could fit yer ciggie into in case you were gasping for a fag during a long 1 hour surgery.

Clamp, foreskins forceps, fag!  

  
You go on about fags these days and people call you a gramophone or something.

 
You could wank to popular TV shows such as Top of the pops or Benny Hill. on Top of the Pops which was a show watched by the whole family you'd have sexy barely dressed weemen doing durty dancing while the cameraman tried to look up their skirts ... but it kept families together.  The family that gets aroused together stays together.

I don't know what the fuck is going on now, no wonder the werld is in a shit state. Feminists condemn body shaming and tell us to stop judging weemen like they are just objects of lust saying that they are so proud of their bodies that everyone should see them so they post topless selfies for you to judge.

Then they denounce naked pics taken when they weren't so famous. Aren't feminists about weemen's rights and aren't shallow slappers that get them out for money just making the whole sexism system go round? You can understand my confusion.   

Old Knudsen is a feminist cos he doesn't judge naked pics, he's too busy wanking to them, I'm typing this with one hand BTW.

Weemen have a power over men and by showing their tits on beer cans, in the papers and on the bus they make the werld a better place.
When they did get them out without terms and conditions attached, racism, sexism and being a pedo weren't the anger triggers they are today, it was more socially acceptable ... thus um better.

Miss KKK

The KKK were neighbours with interesting 4th of July fireworks, politicians (hey there Ted Heath former Prime Minister) were all pedos but they kept the cuntry running. Only students cared about minorities.

You can't beat a law student with yer baton these days without it going on YouTube and people giving it the thumbs down. Do you know how demoralizing the thumbs down is when you shoot some black dude and are put on administrative leave ?

I think I've made a great case to make the werld great again and do away with all the hate because even bigots, sexists and racists have feelings but no one ever stops to consider that.

Yeah ok, the whole tits out at 16 does seem well very fucken dodgy, we should make it 12. 

 

How To Talk To Women And Trick Them Into Having Sex With You

Being young tall, fit and good looking is too easy.  

Being a feminist I've read the articles on how to talk to women that are wearing ear buds with disgust. Do these blokes ever get their hole?  

As you know it's a them and us scenario and often when you apply the charm and become the guy they all claim to want they still cum off with lame excuses like they are married/engaged, 7 months pregnant, mommy doesn't like me talking to strangers, unable to get up because their hip just shattered when they fell etc etc.  

No doesn't always mean no, it often means they are playing hard to get and if the police and restraining orders makes you quit then maybe you just weren't up for the job. 

You see a woman on the bus or the train and she has earbuds in and is looking at her phone. Get her attention by a non-threatening wave then gesture that she removes her earbuds. She was probably sitting there waiting for her Prince Charming anyways. 

Start off with "I saw you sitting there in a world of alone and thought I'd rescue you". What woman doesn't want to be rescued from a feed of cat pictures? 

Lay on the charm. Ach sure it's easy for Old Knudsen but hey, give it a go. Say something like, "you'd be a lot more pretty if you smiled more" if you smell some Thai food it's probably her getting wet. 

Don't compliment her perky breasts, you don't want to sound creepy say something about her lovely eyes and if they are slightly turned in or something make a joke about her being able to read too books at once ... weemen like books and a man with a sense of humour is a real turn on for them too. 

Excuse me, weren't you in sperm burpers 4?

Another great line is asking if they've been in porno as they remind you of a really hot porn star or something. Who doesn't want to be compared to a movie star? ...... and I don't mean Lassie. 

Another line is pretending to mistake them for a high class hooker, quickly apologize before she takes offense then follow up with a "if you were though I'm sure you'd make a ton of money, I'd certainly pay you if I wasn't on benefits" .... Yer obviously lying about parting with money unless it's a decent rate.

Weemen appreciate honesty and are way more open than men so they will appreciate you telling them that you've got one in the chamber and wouldn't mind exploding all over their chest. 

Weemen don't want to be objectified and used as cum buckets, they want to be needed and valued like everybody does so make sure she knows about how useless you are at hoosewerk and that yer hoose needs a woman's touch and how yer barber refuses to shave yer back. 

They like to be needed and the back hair thing triggers the helpless puppy factor. You poor man, he needs me so badly. 

Don't waste yer time with joggers. They might not even hear yer compliments about their bouncing tits as they speed past. Wait until they get all that woman anger out and are tired and having a drink. 

Something witty like, "Experts say that sex burns off more calories than exercise and I'd totally put you through yer paces, I could be yer personal trainer, I'd so just lie there while you did everything."     

If they try to run off don't use yer walking stick to trip them, let them run free as they obviously still have that female anger within. Stay where you are, weemen aren't that intelligent and often can't help but to run in circles. 

Respect is the key. If you see a lass sitting in the locust position on some grass don't point to the keep of the grass signs or let yer dog pee on her. Acknowledge that she may want some alone time to contemplate life an shit so point out that you'll be nearby waiting for her to finish. Set boundaries like give her 3 minutes, they like it when a man takes charge.

This gives you time to eye her up and her strengths and weaknesses and what tactics to use in yer charm offensive .... really put in the offensive bit because it shows yer a strong male worthy of mating with and that is what weemen want deep down in their primitive DNA.    

An important pointer is to not bore the lady. Weemen love to talk about themselves so make sure you plant a tracking device on her and maybe bug her home so you'll have plenty to discuss that is relevant to her. Ask her advice on the best soap powder or vacuum to empower her but of course just use whatever you want duh.

Don't be cheap. Sometimes when a woman is claiming to be a lesbian or in a relationship charm is not always enough. Make sure you always have an extra tenner on you in case you have to bribe her with a meal or a drink.
Again make sure you take charge and order for her. This shows you to be strong and will make sure you stay within budget. Telling her a low costing salad would be better for her waistline not only helps her but helps yer pocket.  

Mind if I drive you home? ... oh I don't have a car 

If all of Old Knudsen's advice some how doesn't werk then maybe yer secretly ghey and not even my advice can help you. The way to figure this out or not is to go to a ghey bar and ask to suck cock. Men are way more easier than weemen .... so I've heard. 

If you enjoy sucking cock then maybe you've been charming the wrong audience. If you didn't enjoy it don't give up, try a few more just to make sure. 

There are chicks out there who are really men, the world is not just confined to men and women unless you are just trying to impress yer mates and prove to them you like gurls which is a rite of passage thing and totally normal. 

Don't listen to these so-called dating "experts" listen to me. Ach sure I may be going through an 8 year dry spell unless you count hookers but "riders block" happens to use all at some time.       

 

I Don't Mean To Offend You .... But I Will

Her chatted up on live TV face. 

West Indies cricketer Chris Gayle got fined £4,900 for inappropriate conduct when he asked female sports presenter Mel McLaughlin out for a drink during a live interview. While she asked him questions about the pitch and his injuries he was more interested in causing some injury to her pitch .... I have no idea what I just said there. 

"To see your eyes for the first time is nice. Hopefully we can have a drink afterwards." When she reacted with a clenched mouth and looking away he added, "Don't blush baby."

She said she wasn't blushing and quickly finished the interview. The male pundits in the studio went on to say how unprofessional Gayle was and that Mel was a much respected colleague and a strong woman who would not have appreciated such a comment. 

McLaughlin told her Network,  "I'm a little bit disappointing because I'm not used to seeing that. I don't really want to be the subject of such conversations."  

So lets talk about it then. 

A strong woman like Mel doesn't mind being proud of her IQ score. 

Firstly, fucking cricketers huh, what a load of animals, as bad as golfers and what did I tell you about those black fellas after all the weemen? Well I hope they choke on his thick giant cock. 

2015 was the year of being offended, this was just a cocky lad belittling a female who stupidly went into sports instead of say ... nursing or being a vet. She probably cries her self to sleep at night that she didn't get pregnant by accident in order to snare a wealthy husband. 

Lets stop getting offended by all this silly crap, when did everyone become pussies? Her high cut top and talk about field conditions gave me a chubby so lets quit with the whole treating weemen in a demeaning manner rubbish rubbish. 

It was just a joke, Gayle has total respect for weemen, look at what he put into his bedroom for them. How many weemen have said to Old Knudsen, "I'd love to become a pole dancer but I don't have anywhere to practice my moves" .... the amount of weemen that have said that isn't important, the fact that they can now dance away and if they fall, well thoughtful Gayle has put some padding down for them. 

Gayle may have walked out of his apology press conference when a reporter mentioned how upset McLaughlin had been but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. I bet if Mclaughlin knew he had ceiling mirrors she'd be all look at me, reverse cow gurl. 

I bet yer kicking kicking yerself now McLaughlin you whiner, this could have been you. 

What's next, are we not to even allowed to suggest that successful weemen obviously slept their way to the top? I said that would happens if you give weemen the vote and things like rights but no one listened.      

A kurdish female soldier.

Now being a breeder and hoosemaker cums second to things like running cuntries and fighting ISIS, they even let weemen go up into space ... I don't know what they do about their  lady troubles while up there, best not to think about it.   Look what happened when they sent Sandra Bullock up into space during her period. 

Do weemen still like washing, ironing and vacuuming? .... Do they still find joy in lifting clothes off the floor and putting doon the toilet seat while standing in a puddle of piss? ... Do they still relish the challenge in trying to match up to their better half men's mothers? ... they never do, do they? 

No one bakes pies and gives head like yer mother but it's cute that they try.  

I suppose Old Knudsen will get called a sexist now that he's merely mentioned all this. Why can't people take a belittling joking comment for what it is and stop making a big deal out of it? In my day it was the man's place to point out faults in others and treat whom ever they liked like a cum bucket ... especially if yer an athlete, TV, movie or radio star or US President.

 Real men don't have feelings to hurt ... learn from our example. 

No wonder a slap on the butt or tweak of a boob has become taboo with the liberal commie agenda calling the shots. Call this progress? .... You can't even manspread on the tube, blow cigarette smoke into the face of babies or hit and tell noisy kids to fuck off without being denounced. You can't blame the Jews for Germany losing WWI or tell some dark skinned person to go home without getting labelled a anti-Semite or racist.     

People need to have a thicker skin ...except the fatties, they just need to be taxed or something.

  

Cameron Defends His Pig Sex Act

I'm gonna look after you real good.

A book by Lord Micheal Ashcroft, the spurned lover of British Prime Minister David Cameron describes how Cameron (during his university years) put his penis into the mouth of a dead pig as an initiation into the Piers Gaveston society, a private club well known for its drug and drink fueled excesses,child sacrifices and Satanic rituals and orgies. 

The claim cums from several MP's who have seen photographic evidence of the act. Pig fucking/love making has recently become a trend with celebs and politicians such as Richard Dawkins and many of the GOP White House nopefuls in an attempt to show their disdain for Islam. 

Donald Trump starts every political rally with a pig hump to whip the crowd into a frenzy, of course only leggy blonde pigs.   

In a statement Mr Cameron said, "I have nothing against the swarms of benefit sponging migrants or against the rising tide of Islam in general, I was young, high as a kite and in my defense she was a totally babe .... at least it was a severed pig's head and not a chubby intern lol."   

     

Reinstate Jeremy Clarkson

If you do a job for one day and there is no hot meals provided just cold food like sandwiches it is obviously within yer right to take a swing at one of the lower managers. Violence in the workplace is justified at times like this as is racism and sexism.

Thank fuck people stand up for those poor millionaires like Jeremy Clarkson, forced to work on state television because if no one started a petition to save his job then he'd just fall through the cracks and become another victim of society.

Was there not a make up lady or something? Surely there had to be some weemen on set. If they want to be paid the same as men then they should take the initiative and get the crock pot out and stop thinking about having babies all the time.
Maybe he should have tried to punch one of them, the assistant producer he did try to assault was a male and about a foot smaller than Clarkson, lighter build and not as important as Clarkson so he was a prime target to be bullied by a millionaire TV star having a tantrum.

Stand up for the rights of the millionaire victims of harsh working conditions, how can anyone be expected to make a television show in that hostile work environment. Clarkson would no doubt stand up for you, he's famous for standing up for the little people .... or is that Russell Brand?     

  
  

Chinky Poofter Bird

 

 What else would you call them?

Ukip candidate Kerry Smith resigned as parliamentary candidate for South Basildon and East Thurrock after he was heard calling ghey party members "poofters" and referring to someone as a "Chinky bird" in phone calls.

Firstly queers prefer to be called fudge packers and the weemen bean flickers and Chinese people prefer to be called ting tang wing wong ... Old Knudsen doesn't really know any Chinese people except the ones he killed during the Boxer rebellion of 1900, then I called them targets. How dare they not like our imperialistic ways, we were just honest immigrants and they kicked us out.

  Nigel Farage the leader of the master race.

Ukip party leader Nigel Farage did what he usually did and that was to defend his colleague. "Kerry Smith is a rough diamond. A council estate boy from the East End of London, left school early and talks in a way that a lot of people from that background do." Oh so that's ok then, not his fault.

“If you and your mates were going out for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?” ..... he expected the interviewer he asked to say, 'going out for a chinky'  though Farage stated that he himself had never used that word.

“I think we’re very snobbish in London about condemning people perhaps for the colloquial language they use, particularly if it’s not meant with really unpleasant intent, Smith was a "genuine fella" 

but

"was not suitable to be a parliamentary candidate".  Because he is common, can't censor himself or is fat? Farage defending Smith yet playing into the snobbery he complains about.

Old Knudsen is not a racist or a homophobe, he hates everyone with equal scorn and he himself left school early ... around 10 minutes early (16 is the school leaving age) I think it was, I had a Doctors appointment and Old Knudsen still lives on a housing estate.
If he ordered a Chinese takeaway he'd call it a Chinese, he wouldn't feel the need to use a racial slur just because he lives on a housing estate and that guide dogs have had a better level of education than him.
Northern Ireland is very sectarian and he doesn't call Catholics, Taigs or Fenian cock suckers or Protestants Huns or Orange bastards either .... though they are but that's besides the point.  

As for gheys. I just read how people were saying that JK Rowling didn't write Dumbledore as being ghey and so must be a crap writer if he was meant to be ghey.
How do you write someone as being ghey? Ghey people are usually just average people unless they have issues and then it's all 'The Birdcage' but maybe Dumbledore was comfortable in his sexuality and didn't like feather boas cos they were so ghey.  

Farage is like the Republicans in the US, they have an unrealistic view of the world and want things to return to the way they were in the 1950's. Great if you were a middle class white person I suppose.

Farage wants to return the UK to the 70's and 80's because he hasn't moved on from then himself. You could discriminate against weemen, call a spade a spade and some times call them wog or darkie. You could smoke in hospitals and blackface was funny and on prime time TV. Mental health services was being told to, 'pull yerself up by the boot straps and suck it up' weemen who complained about sexual assault were just being hysterical and overacting, a slap would sort them out and you could cane children at school for anything ..... good times.  

You could call weemen birds because only real men equate weemen to animals. Farage thinks we have gone too far with political correctness and that it's all just a bit of fun to treat people as less than equals.   


He was right about the snobbery in London, for a place chocka block with ethnic people the white ones still look doon on the Irish and the fact that the government is situated in London means they are out of touch with the rest of the nation. While NHS hospitals maybe be good in London, go to Belfast and you'll get fewer services but who cares because it's just the Irish right?

You could compare Northern Ireland and even Ireland to a lass who has been raped by someone famous and is shouting for justice but London (the famous person) doesn't take any responsibility. Like how the US fuck up Iraq and then leaves.

Government needs to work for all the people equally and if Smith, the fat bloke with the gurly name can't even talk about people without derogatory names then he isn't suited for Parliament and should work on his own sexual identity and lay off the pies.

Talking Turkey

 UN Women’s Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson took to Twitter for a laugh.

So at the end of last month Turkish Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç said “A woman will know what is haram and not haram. She will not laugh out loud in public. She will not be inviting in her attitudes and will protect her chasteness.”

So weemen laughing in public leads to moral corruption? I knew it!

Just like when in 2010, Iran's authority on Islam Kazem Seddiqi said, "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes" and Iranians should "adapt their lives to Islam's moral codes" to avoid being "buried under the rubble."
  

Then tons of weemen posted pics of their cleavage which I must add made all the death and destruction from earthquakes a bit more bearable.

Now weemen are posting pics of themselves laughing in public .... typical! You tell a woman to make you a sandwich and she tells you to fuck off so then you tell her NOT! to make you one and suddenly it's as if Subway just came all over you. Oh fuck not another sandwich, I'm sick of them.

It used to be stuck up Christians telling us how to behave I guess they have learned their lesson. Shows you that Islam is the same shit just rebranded, it's just another man run religion that puts the weemen doon.

Turkey has wanted to join the EU for years but talk like this showing how backwards they still are won't get them there. We can't have an EU state turning all Radical Islamist. "Turkey isn’t politically fit to join the European Union and shouldn’t become a member " said Angela Merkal who runs the EU ....unofficially of course, when Germany says jump. everyone jumps. Obama doesn't just spy on anyone ya know, he wouldn't waste his time with say, David Cameron as he already knows what he'll say before he says it.

Obama: "Dave are you busy?"

Cameron: "Well yeah as a matter of fact I am, I have"

Obama: "Don't care, just drop it and back us up funding some terrorists in Syria."

Cameron: "You got it and anything else .... hello, you still there Obi?"

Old Knudsen doesn't consider Turkey to be civilised, back hair on a man is sexy, I think we can all agree on that but it goes a little too far when ya can braid the stuff, and that's just the weemen. Female Turks took to Twitter to fight sexual harassment on public transport. Well they shouldn't go around laughing if you ask me.

With an angry hashtag #Don’t Occupy My Space they posted pictures of men who spread their legs all frog like to get a bit of touchy.  The campaign was started and inspired by a picture taken on the New York Subway.

I said NO laughing, even a light chuckle counts.

So Deputy Prime Minister Arınç is spot on and weemen are leading to moral corruption with their stench trench witchcraft, a lawsuit has been filed against him as weemen do not want to get targeted for laughing in public.
Last year Turkey had riots against Internet censorship, the ban on alcohol sales from 10pm to 6am, getting an abortion more difficult, public displays of affection, going ahead with building plans without telling the public, corruption in the government and police brutality so I don't think you can pin everything onto weemen but nice try.  

Turkey is going to lose it's secular appeal if the crazy Allah botherers have their way. The military has to keep the Syrian war at bay, guarding against Russian actions in the Ukraine and fighting off PKK insurgents. Turkey is also accusing Israel of targeting Turkish journalists in Gaza.... ach throw a fucking stick and yer bound to hit a journalist there.

The little battles about laughing in public and not being harassed just because you got a bus are as important as the bigger ones. A civilised nation can slip into hate and prejudice, ruled by narrow minded religious bigots faster than it can become a free, modern, secular state and everyone of those little battles do matter to the world, sometimes a trendy hashtag is all you've got. 
 

   

Sexy Saturday

A chick you'd like to take home on a Saturday night after being out on the tear. See tomorrow what she turns out to really be like the sober day after.