No Jiggity

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On this day of worship please give yer attention to gravity and the effects that it has on the human body. This post is fucking science bitches!

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Check out the molecules on that!

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Smells like teen spirit put on a few pounds. 

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A bit of jiggle is fine, just don't put anyone's eye out. 

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There is one thing that I have learned from this scientific post.

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Is that gravity can be down right scary at times..... I can't look away. 

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I don't remember Sandra Bullock having this trouble, if she did that Gravity movie might have been a lot better.

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What goes up must cum down, if it takes longer than 4 hrs to cum down, brag about it before going to see yer doctor. 

Selfie Sunday

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 Old Knudsen so many offers and proposals that he mostly just ignores them. After that Nigerian scam offering to sell me a wife I've just given up trusting. Here are some of the selfies that get sent to me by my readers and other admirers.

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Just normal people with normal fake boobs.

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This lass from Ballymena often sends me pictures of herself standing beside some sexy sheep, aye Old Knudsen knows when someone is playing mind fucks with him. Attraction by association .... nice try lass.

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Skyler here knows that I value brains as well as beauty and so wears glasses. The Nazis during WWII sent anyone who wore glasses to the concentration camps as they just assumed that they were the liberal intellectual elite types, I bet yon history lesson got ya well horny.

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Is it shallow of me that I don't care what this gurl looks like? .... good.

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I think someone bought the Insanity keep fit DVD's. 

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If ya don't clean yer room for a selfie then the chances are that ya don't clean yer minge for a date either. Doesn't put Old Knudsen off, it adds character.

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It's just not dignified when weemen beg ya for sex, maybe you'll get some enjoyment out of these pictures for it ruins the mood for Old Knudsen.

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Not just from weemen, this lad wanted me to join him in a budgie smuggling caper.

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How dare people like this send me pics just to give me issues about my body. I'll be back right after I do 100 sit ups. 

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When yer my age yer waist is larger than yer chest measurement, that shows that yer a man and not a boy.

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No wonder you look so skinny, you must have needed that.

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I'll leave you with this married lass looking for a bit of rough .... don't know why she choose me.

Flesh Of Color

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 In the spirit of radical equality I shall post pictures of adults of colour in an attempt to lure religious pedophiles away from the children in a Benetton way . I don't care what yer holy book says about molesting children .... it's wrong.

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Old Knudsen does prefer large rears and he will admit admit to such. 

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I know religion fucks with yer mind but making weemen cover up leads to really dull pictures especially if the only other option is as a belly dancer which is then a over played stereotype. Well these cultures who insist that weemen be covered head to toe must really respect weemen since they don't objectify them ..... right?

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I do like strawberries and I can't deny, but not real ones, only artificial flavours but I do like me weemen real .... except when they are a sex doll.

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My penis tells me that I'm not a racist. It also tells me other things but I can't put that in writing due to legal complications such as being arrested. 

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Something for everyone. I wonder if he works out, Mr super hero Actionman/GI Joe body. Bet he's a smoothie.

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Some greasy South Korean actor, do Asians get tattoos of words in English like "water" or "soul?"

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A young man with tribal tattoos and wearing crosses, those missionaries get everywhere. I wonder what tribe he came from. 

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I bet he has full conversations complete with chat up lines with himself. 

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This lass has such an odd body shape, as if a nerd virgin did a weird science (as in the movie) and invented his perfect woman. Not that I'm complaining.

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Old Knudsen has a soft (hard actually) spot for the Latina's but it's about religious pedos on their day of worship. Is this not worthy of a bit of worship? 

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Now time for the 'what is he thinking?' part of the post. I'm going for 'I hope the cat left the drapes alone while I've been out, shit I forgot to water my fern.'

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Dear half naked lady on the Internet, any chance of a ride? Old Knudsen may objectify the ladies (and others) but would he ever stone one to death for something trivial or for who they wanted to marry? I don't think any religion gives weemen a fair and equal go.

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This nipple, vadge and cock free post was brought to you by the letters F and U and the number R. Old Knudsen don't count too good, he's not Asian for fucks sake. Remember folks, people are all the same no matter what colour they are, aye they're all cunts so hate them for being cunts, not because they are a different colour or nationality than you. Did you have a say in what DNA went into making you and where it made you? Don't be stupid and don't be haters, unless yer hating haters, which to be honest I totally hate. 

  

Sexy Sunday With 4% More Something

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Are you over yer shock treatment of last week? Don't worry it's all a plan to rid you Christians of yer incorrect thoughts regarding children. It will be Easter soon and that is a time notorious for Christian activity ... disgusting!

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Now back to the impure thoughts about adults, not kids. What is this lass looking at? maybe it's you looking all smug and pious after returning from church, that really turns her on.

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This one is waiting for you to show an interest in her hotness instead of the school run.

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When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things and surfed the Interweb for adult porn ~ John the Bapster. 

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Google searches like 'crucified up skirt pics' 

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Liking men is fine, many people do however with a different standard of beauty you don't just want men with abs and sticking up hair, men have to be handy. The way to a woman's heart is not just through her rib cage but if you can amaze them with yer wood working skills and hug the odd puppy then yer in. 

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We aren't just walking slabs of sex to be objectified, real men have curves! 

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As do real weemen .... you can objectify them as they are used to it and enable you to do so.

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You won't see these on a 5 year-old.

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Remember, God is watching, not yer pedo Christian god but a real one who don't take shit so behave.

Amazeballs Sunday

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 Are you sure it's Sunday? It still tastes like Saturday.

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You pedos are going to have to earn yer conversion to adults, click bitch, click it.

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Did you click it? do we really get full resolution in life? Ever worry that the secrets in yer head will be opened to you on yer death bed moments before you cark it?

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Oh I'm sorry, having a moment there, ok then. Stop looking at the kiddies and look at this you religious types.

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 Look what I found lol!

Some of you might see that as a bad thing while others see it as an opportunity to widen yer horizons amongst other things. 

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Hold on a minute I had a fuck to give now where did I put it?

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Are tan lines supposed to be sexy? You can't achieve an all over tan, wow you must be sexy. Luckily this lady can pull them off so to speak.

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I'm not sure where you are going with this I just want to see what's next before I pour bleach into my eyes and start cutting myself.

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Expect the unexpected!

Except then if you expect it then it isn't unexpected so keep yer power dry, carry a big stick and catchy monkey with honey.