A Naked Hairy Fetish Post

Old Knudsen always welcums e-mails from his fans, here is one picked out at random. 

Dear Old Fucker

Wot is up wit your blog? it used 2B cool with tits and ho bags showing there fannys and now i have 2 go onto real porn sites for a wank. 

hav U gon ghey?

Mark Wilson aged 9

Sheffield 

Well young Mark, thank you for yer e-mail. Old Knudsen likes pics that say something and not just for titillation though he'll post those too if he is blogging with one in the chamber. No I have not gone ghey .... in the past week but I'm werking on it, thank you for asking. Here are some pictures that I hope have something for everyone.

If Old Knudsen was to have a sex change he'd like to look like this but hairier.

 Yes I do like to lure you in with some hotties before I turn it up a little.

This lass calls herself Lady Government and she does not use lube.

I like my coffee black and strong, the same way I like my weemen .... that is a lie, I don't like coffee at all.

Or a damaging deep cell tan will do the trick.

The ladies have to be catered for too, they love a man in a kilt and with nipple rings.

Real men have curves.

Any Ballymena beys reading? .... As if someone from Ballymena could read, luckily I have pictures.

Don't you know that it's different for gurls .... If Old Knudsen did this you'd hear about the clogged up drain for a week.

Win a race and humiliate a chick .... sponsored by misogyny. The peer pressure of having to stand there and take or you won't get paid.

Maybe dead people are yer thing, I likes it when they lay still.

A chick with a dick because God made them that way.

Nothing wrong with meat on a stick.

And end with an anti-climax.

Accidental Genius

If I went by first impressions (which I never do) I'd have Leigh Erceg doon as being a tweaker crack hoor missing a mouth full of teeth but I'd be wrong, she does have some teeth.

Erceg aged 47 (she's had a hard life) was working on a ranch in Colorado feeding chickens when she somehow managed to fall down a ravine. Don't feed chickens while yer on the crack.

She damaged her spine and brain and was diagnosed with Savant Syndrome. No memory of her former life or even her mother, she does no feel emotion, her mood is flat, she sees color when she listens to music and went from being a  lesbian tomboy who loved NASCAR and had a degree in physical education to a tomboy who likes art, poetry and math, some reporters go as far as calling her a genius .... maybe in comparison to journalists.

 Don't expect the math to make any sense ... but it looks good right?As do her sharpie pics.

Many autistic people are born with Savant qualities, that doesn't make them a genius but it does make them different. Erceg can do those spot the difference pictures in record time so she has that memory/exact fact retention ability. She won't be figuring out wormholes and making Stephen Hawking look bad any time soon. 

True story time.

When Old Knudsen was younger he worked in a soul destroying job in a factory, one day a 2 foot metal wheel fell onto his head causing a nasty gash and giving him the afternoon off. 

As my workmates panicked at seeing the blood pouring doon my face I was calm and stoic. I've always been a fan of yon poem 'If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs' so I watched with amusement, they obviously didn't know how solid Old Knudsen's head is. 

I found that I had lost all memories of my former lives except that I was Cleopatra once, I also forgot anyone I owed money to and that I could write really amazing and funny blog posts .... I just refuse to write them cos you don't pay me. 

I also never had a fascination with chicks with dicks before my accident, that incident at yon West Hollywood New Years party was a one off and the video has been destroyed... and the experimenting while in Thailand was accidental .... and that date I went on in Liverpool was misrepresentation of goods which may have led to 8 years of marriage but that's besides the point, nope, no interest at all.  

Is Old Knudsen a genius or just criminally insane? Aye, probably. Thinking differently to others is a blessing and a curse since I know better than you but am always in the minority so no one listens. 

Maybe I should take the advice of others and go throw myself doon a ravine.  

  

 

Blonde Jokes

Cuntroversial mouthpiece Katie Hopkins courts conflict with her constant not very PC comments designed to get her media attention.  It's scary that she attended Sandhurst to become an officer in the military, she would have been in Military intelligence which is an oxymoron, there is no intelligence in the military. Imagine her making life and death decisions based on how she correlates information, we suspect this guy is an Islamic militant should we go ahead with our drone strike? .... he's brown, probably called Tyler or Mohammed or something, yeah why not.  luckily she couldn't accept her commission due to suffering from epilepsy.

The former reality show star and now a columnist for right wing tabloid newspaper made a comment about the nurse in Scotland who was diagnosed with Ebola and sent to London for treatment.

Accused of being racist the police are investigating ... what race would that be? Sorry lass yer too dumb to be offended. She is being a bigot in this case not racist you silly bint .... yes, I was being sexist.  


Is it wrong for the Scottish to not want someone infected with Ebola in their city? Sending him doon to London sounds like a sensible idea. Not just because the English are expendable in the eyes of many Scots but that because they hog all the good NHS shit. I bet there isn't an 8-10 month wait for urgent referrals in London .... yes I may have issues.   

As for it not being cricket, not much gets past her, it's not baseball either.

Having lost some weight the 39 year-old was just gagging to show her well toned body off and so went to her local rugby team for an appraisal .... like you do.

She was told that she was too thin, too muscular and looked unhealthy even anorexic. The fact she had no boobs or arse was mentioned too.  They didn't say, 'yer a total minger, why bother to stay in shape?' Only TV cameras stop rugby players from being fully honest.  
   
I've seen young boys with better hips that her.   Why did they fail to mention the obvious? 

Go back and look at the top picture before reading on, if you mixed Julian Clary .....

With Fabio and put her on Madonna's exercise program you'd get ....

Katie Hopkins. This is the reason that many British weemen feel the need to wear too much makeup, bleach their hair blonde and wear overly feminine clothing .... lacy, high hem line, lots of cleavage. It is also the reason that pink is a very popular colour and why so many choose to wear high heels in jobs where they are on their feet all day.

I suppose she would be the British version of Anne Coulter who is also a man. If you compare Hopkins to Coulter you may decide that Coulter is amazingly stunning ... only in comparison though.

Both are ugly inside and out with just enough intelligence to be offensive but since they are both attention hoors and have books or TV shows to sell they are doing their jobs very well.

Amazeballs Sunday

 1

 

 Are you sure it's Sunday? It still tastes like Saturday.

2

You pedos are going to have to earn yer conversion to adults, click bitch, click it.

3

Did you click it? do we really get full resolution in life? Ever worry that the secrets in yer head will be opened to you on yer death bed moments before you cark it?

4

Oh I'm sorry, having a moment there, ok then. Stop looking at the kiddies and look at this you religious types.

 5

 Look what I found lol!

Some of you might see that as a bad thing while others see it as an opportunity to widen yer horizons amongst other things. 

6

 

Hold on a minute I had a fuck to give now where did I put it?

7

Are tan lines supposed to be sexy? You can't achieve an all over tan, wow you must be sexy. Luckily this lady can pull them off so to speak.

8

I'm not sure where you are going with this I just want to see what's next before I pour bleach into my eyes and start cutting myself.

9

Expect the unexpected!

Except then if you expect it then it isn't unexpected so keep yer power dry, carry a big stick and catchy monkey with honey.

Hairy Vadge Or Not A Hairy Vadge? That Is The Question

Americans are a wonderful people, they like to put it out there while we British shake our heads and tut. Repression is the norm for us, Gog bless you Queen Victoria .... even though she was a total freak in the sack.
American Apparel put bush on their shop window dollies, maybe hairy nosed guy mannequins are next. Will Barbie stop hacking off her thatch? 

Is the bush back? Is the Sasquatch look sexy? do we even know what sexy is anymore or are others just going to call you a pervert because that is how we've been trained to think?  If Old Knudsen had a dollar for every time he was called a pervert he'd be rich, even with the crappy dollar to pound exchange rate.
A pervert is someone who will do what you won't.  

A pretty lass with nicely plucked eyebrows with some brown, blonde barbie doll wanna be.

Research student Emer O’Toole went hairy for a year to battle those artificial gender norms, I loved her 'get yer pits out for the lads' comment though the presenter 'Eamon Holmes the fat Northern Ireland cunt who is a dickhead in real life' didn't just laugh at it he 'had' to say "it's not lads you are getting them out for it's women" ... aye whatever, just laugh ya twat it was funny. Watch it, it'll will explain what I want to get out there and may make you think ..... something that daytime TV is not known for.

Is Miss Greece 2010 hawt or nat!

Any excuse to post about my favourite topic

Old Knudsen likes shaved arm pits on weemen and soft smooth legs cos weemen should be what men are not, soft and smooth. Boobies are not hairy and I LOVE the boobies.

I like weemen to have a hairy muff but for the love of Gog trim it a little. 

Why do we like weemen shaved? It's because pedos have run the world for centuries, also back in the day fucking whatever was acceptable.  The leap to finding children sexy to some is still a short one reinforced by society norms.

 

Sexualising  children is fucking disgusting, dressing them up as tramps, dancing to Single ladies is wrong on so many levels. Just put yer child on sellyerkidtopedos.com and be done with it. 

Nice and hairless like a child ..... shaven twats make Old Knudsen think about this and kills his mood. Shaven cunts are fucking itchy, seeing a woman getting stuck in there is as unsexy as seeing a man getting stuck into scratching his sweaty balls..... well I don't find that sexy, pulling out wedgies is hot though, especially if skid marks are involved. 

Muff Pubes aid with the friction of sex and so are a little more important than armpits. 

Madonna was hot in the 80's for five minutes until I saw her pits.     

This subject conflicts Old Knudsen because weemen shave and put make up on because society have told them that is what you should be doing. Aye they may say "I do it for myself" but thats because they are conditioned to do it and are used to it .... Gog forbid you'd incur the wrath of peer pressure when 50 year old barbie doll look a likes sneer doon their noses at you.   My man likes me this way .... funny since you've never asked him.  

Yes I'm sure he really wants yer finger nails as long and useless as that because he loves to think about the dirt and germs you harbor under them while you cook his dinner that has to be on the table by 6pm.  

Nails long enough to scratch backs during sex but short enough to clean the shit out of when you wipe yer arse.  

At the same time Old Knudsen likes armless arm pits and legs and to give yer minge a hair cut. A short back and sides not a landing strip or tiny soul patch. 

You should be able to do what the fuck you want with yer own body but if you can't sell yer body (or parts) kill yer body when you please, eat trans fats or have whatever medical procedure you want then you are in no way free. If the law don't get you then peer pressure of what is socially acceptable will. 

If you don't shave then fine, Old Knudsen may still tap you after a few drinks, don't worry fat chicks,  chicks with dicks and makeup less ladies you are in Old Knudsen's sights drunk or sober or high cos he ain't that shallow. 

If you love someone already and they decide to go hairy then I doubt THAT will make you love them any less but if it's someone you don't know, well no one is forcing you to ask them out. 

  

Those In Glass Hooses Should Not Swing Cats

 

Good Sunday all you Christian pedos, leave the kiddies alone and have lust in yer dirty hearts for consenting adults.

Some bomber jacket wearing, short hair cutty weemen have accused Old Knudsen of being a sexist, misogynistic, lecherous pervert but I can assure you all that Old Knudsen is not sexist or misogynistic.

      

He just loves the weemen, in fact 8 times out of 10 he'd choose to make splendid messy love to a woman than anything else. 

Now we have that settled, go pop the kettle on love and while it's boiling clean the place up like you weemen are good at doing. 

Old Knudsen didn't fight the Germans on Iwo Jima just so cunts like you could judge him. You enjoying being free an shit? Yer fucking welcome!

Just to show how much Old Knudsen doesn't give a fuck, Debbie here is gonna strip doon to her birthday suit cos sometimes boobs just aren't enough.

 

Oh cum now, don't be shy, people are waiting to see yer undercarriage so LOSE THE FUCKING SHORTS OR YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!!!!!

 Much better I think you'll all agree. God made chicks with dicks so you'd have plenty of choice so leave the fucking kids alone, I don't care if Jesus did it, it isn't cool.