A Naked Hairy Fetish Post

Old Knudsen always welcums e-mails from his fans, here is one picked out at random. 

Dear Old Fucker

Wot is up wit your blog? it used 2B cool with tits and ho bags showing there fannys and now i have 2 go onto real porn sites for a wank. 

hav U gon ghey?

Mark Wilson aged 9

Sheffield 

Well young Mark, thank you for yer e-mail. Old Knudsen likes pics that say something and not just for titillation though he'll post those too if he is blogging with one in the chamber. No I have not gone ghey .... in the past week but I'm werking on it, thank you for asking. Here are some pictures that I hope have something for everyone.

If Old Knudsen was to have a sex change he'd like to look like this but hairier.

 Yes I do like to lure you in with some hotties before I turn it up a little.

This lass calls herself Lady Government and she does not use lube.

I like my coffee black and strong, the same way I like my weemen .... that is a lie, I don't like coffee at all.

Or a damaging deep cell tan will do the trick.

The ladies have to be catered for too, they love a man in a kilt and with nipple rings.

Real men have curves.

Any Ballymena beys reading? .... As if someone from Ballymena could read, luckily I have pictures.

Don't you know that it's different for gurls .... If Old Knudsen did this you'd hear about the clogged up drain for a week.

Win a race and humiliate a chick .... sponsored by misogyny. The peer pressure of having to stand there and take or you won't get paid.

Maybe dead people are yer thing, I likes it when they lay still.

A chick with a dick because God made them that way.

Nothing wrong with meat on a stick.

And end with an anti-climax.

People Are Burgers

 

Human DNA has been found in meat products in Ireland and the UK, the source has been traced back to Irish meat processor Silverpeak.

Silverpeak which is one of Ireland's main meat supplier for chain stores, the military, schools and the prison system have closed their plants for further investigation. So far horse and pig meat have been found in beef produce and pork has also been found in what was supposed to be Halal food.

Silverpeak rest homes for the elderly and the Silverpeak funeral parlors are open for business as usual.

   

Dumb Da Dumb Da Dumb

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

You Go On, Don't Wait For Me

I've always wanted to be a waiter believe it of not. Ever since being a small child gazing up as the God like men in the little aprons filled up our glasses with snooty contempt and made us wait for our food as long as they wanted, that was true power, my mother would say to me, "Hey thingy, stop staring at the waiters, they're all gheyers you know, unless yer a gheyer of course" which would cause all my siblings and my father to laugh and call me gheyer for the rest of the afternoon, ah happy days.

I've only ever played at being a waiter in MI6 when I posed as one to poison a Russian diplomat or when Ethel cums round and we play a role playing sex game, "How about I serve you and I give you the tip madam?" "How rude, let me speak to the manager" she'd say in pretend outrage, " Here he is" as I unzipped my trousers, "Dick the manager, time to manage dick if you can handle it, if yer not full up you soon will be." Then I'd give her, her just deserts........ in the arse.

My waiting dream has cum true, eat yer black cold heart out manuel.

You've heard of those restaurants that serve sashimi, sushi or whale from the body of a woman, well Billy's Burgers in Killamory has gone upscale and has not only put in more seats and fixed the toilets but is doing that naked thing also.

You would think it was a sexy thing to do but here is the grim reality of it all.

One of the gurls or platters as we call them was on her period and one of the customers complained his steak was rare not well done, as soon as we realised that Mags the platter was on her moons we both saw the funny side and he happily ate his steak.

"Knudsen the crisps for table four is ready" (chips to you Yanks)

Its hard to get hot young gurls to work naked for £3.50 an hour so some of our platters are shall we say, big boned? Ok then some of our gurls are big meaty wagons but we worked this to our advantage by filling up their belly buttons with ketchup so as they lie on the table you dip yer chips (french fucking fries you Yanks) into them and the beauty is they fill them up themselves.

Here is Brenda one of our dippers, I hope thats ketchup.

I had a customer the other night who said, " theres a pube in my burger" so I said "what do ya want me to do about it?" and he replied " nothing I'm just telling everyone its fucking class man."
It was class cos his platter was the extremely hot Elena who gets more than £3.50 an hour from the owner.

Elena and her fur burger...........yummy, finger lickin good.

Some of the Killamory gurls need to work on their fucking manners but they aren't as bad as the hoors from Arbroath the only good thing in Arbroath is the number of VD clinics there are there but you could always do with more.

We have Tracy from Arbroath who we have had nothing but trouble with, we have told her not to smoke when she is lying on the tables as people feed off her naked body at least wait until they light up (fuck the no smoking laws) also stop farting too, when she gets up there is always a big wet patch and you have to scrub her table doon and air it out before you can use it again.

The only reason we don't fire her is because her arse is nice and deep and perfect for the hot fudge sundaes.

"I just want someone to get my fucking food, I'm a law student I know my rights, come see the violence inherent in the restaurant world ."

Fuck I hate mouthy students.

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Sad Bastards posts At X-mas # 2

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Back In Blonde

I am so disgusted with myself that I had to post some naked gurl. The personal facts and memes I have perpetrated due to peer pressure has me thinking that maybe the war crimes I did aren't so bad after all.
Scroll doon and take the Knudsen challenge.

Have you ever watched that Battlestar Galactica? the new one with the harsh lighting not the one with the tight trousers. The Cylon chick called six or is it seven? I don't know the tall skinny blonde gurl well is it just me or is she a bit of a minger? this picture reminded me of her but still it didn't put me off posting it.

Poor Wee Kenny Has Met His Snatch.

Last week I met this lovely Gurl named Nancy at the health centre. I was in because my right elbow was making a squeaking sound which was very off putting when I'm tugging the lad and is a dead give away when I'm doing it all sneaky like in public, she wouldn't go into detail as to the reason she was there, I asked if it was "woman's trouble" and she said it was, that's all I needed to know, a woman can talk for hours about the state of her stench trench.
I should have made more of an inquiry when I heard she was from Arbroath. Two things cum from Arbroath. Smoked kippers, Arbroath FC and hoors, hold on make that three things. Nancy wasn't hideous and did actually smell a little like smoked kippers which I found to be quite arousing but whats more important is that she laughed at my jokes and had a willingness to get naked.

Being a gentleman I wasn't going to jump the gurl on the first meeting no matter how much she begged me to (I get that a lot) so we went for a delightful walk in the park and we had a dry hump against an Beech tree.
Am I the only one that gets turned on by the sight of a smooth pale Beech tree stretching into the sky like a naked body?

Heres where I get all technical and computery, a week later and I haven't called Nancy up because I'm trying to keep her keen, besides is that a 3 or a 5 in her number? I then notice I have warts all over my hard drive and my laptops I think I might have VDU but who the fuck uses a MAC for a dry hump? I'm not pissing razor blades I'm pissing electric shavers cords, plugs and all .

Well I'm off to the city for a shot of Pentium® 4 so don't wait up. I am just going outside and may be some time.