Last week I met this lovely Gurl named Nancy at the health centre. I was in because my right elbow was making a squeaking sound which was very off putting when I'm tugging the lad and is a dead give away when I'm doing it all sneaky like in public, she wouldn't go into detail as to the reason she was there, I asked if it was "woman's trouble" and she said it was, that's all I needed to know, a woman can talk for hours about the state of her stench trench.
I should have made more of an inquiry when I heard she was from Arbroath. Two things cum from Arbroath. Smoked kippers, Arbroath FC and hoors, hold on make that three things. Nancy wasn't hideous and did actually smell a little like smoked kippers which I found to be quite arousing but whats more important is that she laughed at my jokes and had a willingness to get naked.
Being a gentleman I wasn't going to jump the gurl on the first meeting no matter how much she begged me to (I get that a lot) so we went for a delightful walk in the park and we had a dry hump against an Beech tree.
Am I the only one that gets turned on by the sight of a smooth pale Beech tree stretching into the sky like a naked body?
Heres where I get all technical and computery, a week later and I haven't called Nancy up because I'm trying to keep her keen, besides is that a 3 or a 5 in her number? I then notice I have warts all over my hard drive and my laptops I think I might have VDU but who the fuck uses a MAC for a dry hump? I'm not pissing razor blades I'm pissing electric shavers cords, plugs and all .
Well I'm off to the city for a shot of Pentium® 4 so don't wait up. I am just going outside and may be some time.
I should have made more of an inquiry when I heard she was from Arbroath. Two things cum from Arbroath. Smoked kippers, Arbroath FC and hoors, hold on make that three things. Nancy wasn't hideous and did actually smell a little like smoked kippers which I found to be quite arousing but whats more important is that she laughed at my jokes and had a willingness to get naked.
Being a gentleman I wasn't going to jump the gurl on the first meeting no matter how much she begged me to (I get that a lot) so we went for a delightful walk in the park and we had a dry hump against an Beech tree.
Am I the only one that gets turned on by the sight of a smooth pale Beech tree stretching into the sky like a naked body?
Heres where I get all technical and computery, a week later and I haven't called Nancy up because I'm trying to keep her keen, besides is that a 3 or a 5 in her number? I then notice I have warts all over my hard drive and my laptops I think I might have VDU but who the fuck uses a MAC for a dry hump? I'm not pissing razor blades I'm pissing electric shavers cords, plugs and all .
Well I'm off to the city for a shot of Pentium® 4 so don't wait up. I am just going outside and may be some time.
