How To Talk To Women And Trick Them Into Having Sex With You

Being young tall, fit and good looking is too easy.  

Being a feminist I've read the articles on how to talk to women that are wearing ear buds with disgust. Do these blokes ever get their hole?  

As you know it's a them and us scenario and often when you apply the charm and become the guy they all claim to want they still cum off with lame excuses like they are married/engaged, 7 months pregnant, mommy doesn't like me talking to strangers, unable to get up because their hip just shattered when they fell etc etc.  

No doesn't always mean no, it often means they are playing hard to get and if the police and restraining orders makes you quit then maybe you just weren't up for the job. 

You see a woman on the bus or the train and she has earbuds in and is looking at her phone. Get her attention by a non-threatening wave then gesture that she removes her earbuds. She was probably sitting there waiting for her Prince Charming anyways. 

Start off with "I saw you sitting there in a world of alone and thought I'd rescue you". What woman doesn't want to be rescued from a feed of cat pictures? 

Lay on the charm. Ach sure it's easy for Old Knudsen but hey, give it a go. Say something like, "you'd be a lot more pretty if you smiled more" if you smell some Thai food it's probably her getting wet. 

Don't compliment her perky breasts, you don't want to sound creepy say something about her lovely eyes and if they are slightly turned in or something make a joke about her being able to read too books at once ... weemen like books and a man with a sense of humour is a real turn on for them too. 

Excuse me, weren't you in sperm burpers 4?

Another great line is asking if they've been in porno as they remind you of a really hot porn star or something. Who doesn't want to be compared to a movie star? ...... and I don't mean Lassie. 

Another line is pretending to mistake them for a high class hooker, quickly apologize before she takes offense then follow up with a "if you were though I'm sure you'd make a ton of money, I'd certainly pay you if I wasn't on benefits" .... Yer obviously lying about parting with money unless it's a decent rate.

Weemen appreciate honesty and are way more open than men so they will appreciate you telling them that you've got one in the chamber and wouldn't mind exploding all over their chest. 

Weemen don't want to be objectified and used as cum buckets, they want to be needed and valued like everybody does so make sure she knows about how useless you are at hoosewerk and that yer hoose needs a woman's touch and how yer barber refuses to shave yer back. 

They like to be needed and the back hair thing triggers the helpless puppy factor. You poor man, he needs me so badly. 

Don't waste yer time with joggers. They might not even hear yer compliments about their bouncing tits as they speed past. Wait until they get all that woman anger out and are tired and having a drink. 

Something witty like, "Experts say that sex burns off more calories than exercise and I'd totally put you through yer paces, I could be yer personal trainer, I'd so just lie there while you did everything."     

If they try to run off don't use yer walking stick to trip them, let them run free as they obviously still have that female anger within. Stay where you are, weemen aren't that intelligent and often can't help but to run in circles. 

Respect is the key. If you see a lass sitting in the locust position on some grass don't point to the keep of the grass signs or let yer dog pee on her. Acknowledge that she may want some alone time to contemplate life an shit so point out that you'll be nearby waiting for her to finish. Set boundaries like give her 3 minutes, they like it when a man takes charge.

This gives you time to eye her up and her strengths and weaknesses and what tactics to use in yer charm offensive .... really put in the offensive bit because it shows yer a strong male worthy of mating with and that is what weemen want deep down in their primitive DNA.    

An important pointer is to not bore the lady. Weemen love to talk about themselves so make sure you plant a tracking device on her and maybe bug her home so you'll have plenty to discuss that is relevant to her. Ask her advice on the best soap powder or vacuum to empower her but of course just use whatever you want duh.

Don't be cheap. Sometimes when a woman is claiming to be a lesbian or in a relationship charm is not always enough. Make sure you always have an extra tenner on you in case you have to bribe her with a meal or a drink.
Again make sure you take charge and order for her. This shows you to be strong and will make sure you stay within budget. Telling her a low costing salad would be better for her waistline not only helps her but helps yer pocket.  

Mind if I drive you home? ... oh I don't have a car 

If all of Old Knudsen's advice some how doesn't werk then maybe yer secretly ghey and not even my advice can help you. The way to figure this out or not is to go to a ghey bar and ask to suck cock. Men are way more easier than weemen .... so I've heard. 

If you enjoy sucking cock then maybe you've been charming the wrong audience. If you didn't enjoy it don't give up, try a few more just to make sure. 

There are chicks out there who are really men, the world is not just confined to men and women unless you are just trying to impress yer mates and prove to them you like gurls which is a rite of passage thing and totally normal. 

Don't listen to these so-called dating "experts" listen to me. Ach sure I may be going through an 8 year dry spell unless you count hookers but "riders block" happens to use all at some time.