Spam And Cliche.

I recently learned that you cannot not say certain words without people getting all enthusiastically into Monty Python dialogue.
Firstly I would like to teach the Yanks how to say Python, its not piefon its piefin get it fucking right, that annoys me something rotten.

You can't say shrubbery without some cunt getting into the Knights of Ni or complain about being oppressed (unless you're Irish then who cares?) or mention the violence inherent in the system because then the riot police start to laugh as they lawfully club you into unconsciousness.

I spend hours preparing lecture notes for the local killamory college on history subjects such as Scott of the Sahara and the Spanish Inquisition only to have stoned students snigger all the way through, what is their problem?

I do not think about Monty Python in my every waking hour, if I say "intercourse the penguin" or complain that "my brain hurts" it may be because I'm mentally instable and not a sad twat who knows all the words to the Lumberjack song, I actually do but that's besides the point.

I want to talk about that delicious meat substance Spam, yes Spam is 70 years old this year. Created by Sam Spam also the creator of Disco it was first called Sam Spam Disco luncheon meat but because of the ghey American city that was trying to get Rice 'a' Roni up and running the name was cut to just 'Spam'.

The meat was famous during World War II and fed British, Russian and even American troops, some yanks were eating it 2 or 3 times a day. The GIs would swop tins of Spam for bottles of wine with the French troops, the French called the meat Le Sange (monkey) but the snooty cunts ate it anyway.
Later Soviet Union leader Nikita Khrushchev would write, "Without Spam we wouldn't have been able to feed our army" then he gleefully thumped the table and made history.

Spam sometimes almost tastes like a pork type of meat depending on how drunk you are and how much mustard you put on it, along with baked beans you could eat well at the end of the world. I once killed a man with spam, not something I'm very proud of but I was impressed with the versatility of the luncheon meat, well done yanks you may have fucked up the meat in the first place but you pretended that's how its supposed to be and thus made a success out of yer lack of quality, clever in a moronic sort of way sometimes those Septic Tanks (Yanks).

Ok I give up, what about the Monty python sketch in the cafe when the guy sitting in amongst all the Vikings asks whats on the menu?

Egg and bacon
Egg, sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg, and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam
Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam .

I think all my posts should end with Spam like arses.

I didn't want to be a Blogger. I wanted to be... a Lumberjack! leaping from tree to tree."