Old Knudsen can smell a lie like a fart in a car, here are some lies for you to pass 2 minutes of bordom at work with.
Richard Gere: "I'm actually very sexy and a talented actor."
Muslim Woman: "Islam is a religion all about love and peace." 
Vladimir Putin holding the ass master 3000: "Poisoning I don't know anything about no poisoning."
Fat Bloke: "I'm going to start a diet at the end of the month."
Richard Nixon: " I'm not a crook, that whole bugging thing was a big misunderstanding, hey look its the King."
Bill Clinton: "I did not have sex with that woman. I've have fucked my Lab several times and my wife at least once ."
Adolf Hitler: "Chamberlain seemed such a nice old gentleman that I thought I would give him my autograph. Don't worry I won't invade Poland or Russia, I'll be quite happy with Czechoslovakia ."
Tony Blair: "I have never once sucked the master's er I mean George Bush's cock."
The Terminator: Kate brewster:"hey you said you'd let me go." Terminator; "I lied."
Speedo man: " I'm not ghey and I don't have a rolled up sock doon me front."
Old Knudsen: "Don't worry lass I'll pull out before I cum, you can trust me."
John F Kennedy: (F for fathead) " Ich bin ein Berliner" he was from Massachusetts, makes you wonder what else he lied about. Wasn't he sooooo good looking? um no are we looking at the same picture?
Michael Jackson: "I just slept with the children its perfectly natural and I never fondled them."
Gurl I've never met before: " Its you're son Old Knudsen meet Soren Jr or wee Gobshite as I call him."
Gerry Adams: "Sinn Fein has no links to the terrorist group the IRA, all we want is to live in peace with our protestant neighbours."
A.Doctor: "Don't worry you'll be alright now and I won't talk doon to you and treat you like a moron, stat ."
George W Bush: " Saddam used a remote control to fly planes into the Twin Towers, he also has big bombs that he wants to use on America but the thing is they're invisible, like Wonder Woman's plane, and it wasn't me that just farted. "
Templar with the sword: "Christianity is a religion all about love and peace."
12 comments:
ok, so that happened....
Fat bloke has rolled himself in icing sugar and will start eating himself in the new doughnuts 'n' cannibalism diet which is sweeping LA.
Richard Gere is around about as sexy as a verruca.
Old Knudsen: "Don't worry lass I'll pull out before I cum, you can trust me."
Heard that one before
Old Knudsen: "Don't worry lass I'll pull out before I cum, you can trust me."
Last thing he said to me too, next thing he rolled over, farted and started to snore.
Thank you for the update. The cheque is in the post.
"Don't worry you'll be alright now and I won't talk doon to you and treat you like a moron, stat ."
hmmm interesting bit of info.
The Former Mrs Manuel: Do you take Manuel to love and to hold for saking all others til death us do part?
Bitter? I'd say...
Arnold never lies. And the second austrian in the row was just misunderstood, as Wladimir ...
All yer comments mean so much to me thankyou.
you're welcome, sugar
So it isn't just my doctor who is so patronizing. And I thought it was just me.
I never did think JFK was all that attractive.
Disturbing.
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