Welcome To DUP Deal Or No Deal

The Tory/DUP coalition team up that is in no way a coalition as that wording might void The Good Friday Agreement is about more than just the £1 billion to build sun rooms onto the houses of DUP members. 

It would be a piss poor deal if all they got was a load of money as then that would mean they were just like Irish mercenaries that have fought in most battles throughout history ... no one wants to be Irish for fucks sake. 

More like a Unionist A-Team for hire.  

Other things the DUP got was a box of Jaffa cakes, Nigel Dodd got some more memory for his laptop and Arlene is getting a spa and beauty weekend at the Bannatyne Spa in beautiful Milton Keynes. Sir
Jeffrey Donaldson also in the picture above is content with the money and the lands the English call
East Anglia. It is not clear what Sammy Wilson (also pictured) got.

   Foster with Jonty her minister of British kulture. 

The DUP aren't stupid ya know, ach sure they may take the Bible literally and believe the world to be 6,000 years old and others may believe themselves to be part of the Levis, a lost tribe of Israel but they aren't fucken stupid.    

They got so much more in the agreement of doom. On the 12th July Theresa May is to make a speech in parliament declaring that there is 'NO POPE HERE' they tried to get her to do a "yeooohhhh" too but she refused as a PM has to maintain a level of dignity.    

She will be dressing in traditional British Pradestant Kulture Couture Klassy Kouture like wot the Queen wears when she gives her speech though. 

The Queen dressed down for her speech as one couldn't be arsed.

She will also be changing her name. Seriously Theresa Mary May???? can you get anymore Taigy? Her new name will be Bilomena July .... yeoohhh!!!!

 I fixed his face as parades are supposed to be happy occasions

Members of LOL the Loyal Orange Lodges are wondering why the DUP did not help their voter base more and negotiate marching through Catholic areas that has been denied to them.  Libtards and Taigtards have been chipping at British kulture for too long now.  

Why deny Catholic neighborhoods the joy of seeing loads of angry sour faced pot bellied sectarian patriots marching past their homes ? ... it doesn't make sense!  

For the English who have never had to think about Northern Ireland before this election: The 12th July holiday is a huge Protestant cosplay event to celebrate a battle in 1690 that none of them fought in that put a foreign immigrant onto the throne but most importantly it showed the Catholics who is boss.   

Hundreds of Loyalists dress up in costumes and march down roads playing horrible noisy angry music to scare the Catholics evil spirits away so there is a good harvest.    

The 11th July night or Purge Night is also very important as arson is a large part of Loyalist kulture. The family that drinks, fights and burns shit together stays together ... until social services gets involved that is. 

The DUP already have a version of Christian Sharia law in Northern Ireland so they hope to fix the mainland and the sinners there as well. To the DUP Great Britain (the mainland) is like Sodom and Gomorrah with everyone having abortions and ghey weddings ... shocking! 

Part of the deal means that Downing street has had to become more British. The DUP couldn't understand why there were loads of dark skinned people walking about and why lampposts didn't have flags on them, do they even know how to be British? 

MP's have complained that the constant drumming and flute playing going on outside number 10 distracts them from making cuts to police, the Intelligence community, first responders and to the NHS. One MP almost cleared the use of safe materials to be used on social housing, luckily that mistake was caught in time. 

They are sure they are being insulted by the constantly drunken bandsmen but since English people can't speak Irish they don't know what they are saying. 

One shaken up MP commented, "It was horrible, I asked if they could play Danny Boy and they started to yell at me in Gaelic or something I think they mistook me for someone else named Tim Facker, I tried telling them my name was Wilfred but that only enraged them more. A worried police officer pulled me inside and explained to me Irish etiquette such as never make eye contact and um don't call them Irish."     

Tim being a derogatory term for a Fenian fucker, don't worry Sassenachs you'll lern. 

MP's were also worried about the proximity the new Downing street bonfire was to buildings but no one will ask them to move it. Rather than confront them the 300 year-old buildings will have their windows boarded up and those inside asked to leave on the night that the fire gets lit ... like they do in Belfast. 

  

                                                                 They actually want this

As of the writing of this post the devolved government in Northern Ireland is not very evolved??? Not that evolution is real duh!  Why are there still monkeys?  .... yeah a fail in logic there Mister Darwin.

The Stormont Assembly isn't working at the minute because of a massive DUP scandal involving a heating scheme that they are getting away with which somehow became about the Irish language as 4 people in Northern Ireland are interested in speaking it or some such shite. 

So politicians in Northern Ireland have been getting paid not to politic for the past few months, nice non-work if you can get it. If Northern Ireland came to a stand still would anyone notice?   

The useless DUP and the equally useless Sinn Fein party can't agree on having tea or coffee but are expected to rule Northern Ireland fairly and properly. 

The Good Friday Agreement of 1998 which put them both into power hinges on good relations with Ireland and the British government not being in favor of one side more than the other. Yeah so Brexit and this not a coalition deal goes out of their way to fuck us over. The good news is that now we get to take the English, Scotch and Welsh with us.

You Can't Ignore The DUP Any Longer

Theresa May with her folder of demands proposals from the UDA DUP

It was only just recently the Conservatives were calling Jeremy Corbyn a terrorist sympathizer for talking to Sinn Fein 30 years ago. Of course no one called them Sinn Fein, they called them the IRA for full effect. 

Then a radical Islamist attack in London and May was out in front of Number 10 saying enough is enough and how we've appeased the terrorists for too long .   

Then fast forward to a pitiful election win for the Tories that made them join forces with terrorist sympathizers and appeasers. The Labour voters cheered the result even though it was a loss, they then Googled the DUP. 

Like when someone doesn't care about an illness until they or a family member gets it and then they are all OMG I must raise awareness. The English didn't care about us stoopid Paddies  ...  until it affected them. 

  

Now the English are imagining Save Ulster from Sodomy protests and the criminalization of homosexuality. Maybe making abortion illegal as it is in Northern Ireland, maybe bringing back internment for terrorist suspects, who knows what these people who have never had to think about the DUP before are thinking now. 

The DUP website crashed because so many went to see what they were about. Hey lets call them the UFF (Ulster Freedom Fighters) or UDA (Ulster Defence Association) instead of the DUP like how Conservatives said Corbyn met with the IRA rather than Sinn Fein. 

 All Cops Are Bastards ... As like May the DUP only like the police when they need saved. 

The DUP are religious extremists. They are Christian ones so that is acceptable to the Tories. Those who formed the DUP have had long connections to Loyalist terrorists and since the British government colluded with those terrorists then it's all good. 

All about God, Queen and Ulster until they don't agree with something then they casually let their followers riot. The Queen doesn't want her flag flown 365 days a year? Silly bint we'll do it anyways cos we're loyal!  

 Our patrols will end at 3 O'Clock so make sure you behave until then 

Remember the conspiracy theory that British soldiers were driving around out of uniform killing people and blaming it on paramilitaries to stoke up tensions?  ... crazy huh, our government are the good guys. Yeah not so much that one turned out to be true. 

Along with surveillance tapes conveniently destroyed and the mysterious absence of patrols at the time of attacks there was definite government/Loyalist collusion. They fact that paramilitaries can break the law, paint murals and fly their flags out in the open is obvious appeasement. 

 

 DUP big wig Nigel Dodds.

These groups are proscribed terrorist groups and the glorification of them is illegal but when the various town councils and political parties are full of Orangemen who socialise with these thugs and who rely on their votes .... things get overlooked ... appeasement. 

The DUP are always quick to denounce an IRA parade or event but remain strangely quiet when their own side does it.  Loyalist paramilitaries "urged" voters to vote DUP. They no doubt made sure their people got to the polls in an effort usually only seen by Sinn Fein. 

Yes organized crime backed up the DUP and have now got them into government. They are helped by the fact that useless Sinn Fein refuse to take their seats at Westminster .... neither the DUP or Sinn Fein support all communities in Northern Ireland, that is how fucked up our political system is and why they do nothing but argue. 

The government in Northern Ireland is suspended over a DUP scandal and yet they are allowed to form a coalition of evil with the Tories. 

 Ian Paisley, Peter Robinson and a young Sammy Wilson supporting paramilitaries 

Theresa May gives her half hearted speeches about a fairer society after selling out to a party that relies on an unequal society in order to stay in power. 

The DUP are religious extremists. Not just their Free Presbyterian fire and brimstone teachings that take the Bible literally but there are a large number of Creationists in the party. They want Creationism taught in schools and to have science displays like how the Giants Causeway was formed to also give the Creationist theory about it. I guess the story about giants making the causeway so they could fight each other wasn't cray cray enough for them. 

The DUP does not support LGBT. Recently a DUP member (Jim Wells) was canvassing for votes and when he found out that the woman was a lesbian he told her they didn't support her sinful lifestyle but give us your vote anyways. 

When Edwin Poots was the health minister he wanted the lifetime ban on gay men donating blood to be upheld. The fact that when Northern Ireland runs low on blood and gets supplies from Britain that has no ban didn't stop him from wasting thousands of pounds of taxpayer money trying to fight it in courts. 

He also wanted a ban on gays or single people adopting.        

The DUP hates women. Abortion is illegal here. If you can afford it you can pay hundreds to go to England for a couple of weeks and have it done there. Otherwise buy some dodgy pills off the Internet ... illegally of course. 

 Paul Girvan lighting a bonfire on the 11th July purge night celebrations

The bakers that refused to make a cake supporting gay rights got DUP support and the DUP even tried to introduce a conscious clause to make it easier for Christian businesses to discriminate. 

It's also no surprise that the DUP deny that Climate Change is a thing.  

The DUP has to keep sectarian tensions in Northern Ireland stoked up. If there is no sectarianism then there is no need for the DUP and the likes of Sinn Fein will get a united Ireland. Also having trouble  here means that Westminster will send over money to combat it so it doesn't escalate into the Troubles with bombs going off in England again. 

That has been the main tactic for the British government and even the US one, fuck them up over there so they don't come here. It doesn't work.

While the English are freaking out at May's hypocrisy the DUP won't be changing any British laws. They will help the Tories achieve dominance over the people by doing away with human rights and privacy laws and now the Tories have total back up for pushing Tory friendly Brexit laws through. 

In exchange for their help I'm sure the DUP will be getting a stronger hand to play in Northern Ireland. What is good for the DUP is also good for the Loyalist terrorists.   

Like I say, Northern Ireland is like a test patch for the world. Think of the DUP as the GOP with full control to do as they please. The White Supremacists in the White House and that vote for Trump etc are the Loyalist paramilitaries. 

They rage against Islamic Sharia law but don't see that what they want to do is the same. Not big thinkers but big haters.  

  

    

Jim Wells Is A Liar

Remember at the end of April the then Health minister of Northern Ireland, DUP politician Jim Wells resigned? Well I did a post on it  so you should remember ... what do you mean you don't read my boring Northern Ireland posts? Well I don't either.

He said that children brought up in a homosexual relationship are more likely to be abused or neglected. Where did he get these facts from?

Ghey marriage causes straight couples to get divorced. Ian Paisley jr didn't just make that up you know.

After that he then went door to door for votes and ended up harassing a lesbian couple saying that his party doesn't believe in their lifestyle. The funny thing was that they were DUP voters until he showed up. 

Politicians on the mainland even slagged him off for his homophobic views so he resigned saying that he was leaving to take care of his wife who was recovering from two strokes. 

It took him 2 months to come up with a come back plan. His sick wife can be used as a back up excuse but now he's saying that he never said those words that stated as fact homosexual couples are more likely to abuse or neglect their children. The tape has been doctored he says .... yes a secret organisation probably reptilian in nature went to all the trouble to doctor the tape because he is what stands in their way to enslave the world. 

The DUP are small potatoes, no one cares. They are like bargain basement politicians who refer to the Bible on matters rather than do what's right or form their own opinions.    

He is denying everything and stating how he is now out to clear his name. The only problem with this plan is that he actually DID says those words. Even if they were taken out of context he still said the words. 

Unless he said before the clip, "If I was a bigoted homophobe I'd say that, it's a fact that children raised by a homosexual couple are more likely to be abused or neglected"    

This was the same man telling the leezers that their lifestyle was wrong. This is the guy who said that if a woman got pregnant after getting raped, the fetus is the ultimate victim so she should have the baby. Abortion only for medical emergencies .... rape is not an emergency. 

Yeah Wells you did say it, you said it all. Just because you want to return to work because there are no jobs out there in the real world for someone with yer lack of experience and qualifications .... yeah other jobs don't just put you in charge of shit because yer friends with a guy you go to yer Young Creationist church with. 

The DUP have demonstrated over the decades that they are anti-ghey, not just anti-same sex marriage but they want to make being ghey illegal as it was in the early 80's. They are as anti-ghey as the Orange Order are anti-Catholic and of course many DUP members are in the Orange Order. 

After fighting to stop ghey couples from adopting children the DUP is still using tax payer money to fight a legal battle to prevent ghey men from donating blood. 

I believe that Wells said the words, not just because there is indisputable proof but because he's a cunt and very likely to say it. It shows you what fine Christians they are every time they deny any wrong doing. Luckily Jesus died for all their sins so lets sin away and lie and not let his death be in vain.  

 

 

 

Peter Robinson's Lifestyle Is An Abomination

The DUP leader Peter Robinson is out of the hospital after having 3 stents put into his heart after suffering a heart attack. He denies having an erectile dysfunction pump implanted into his scrotum and any bionic limbs. 

His party made the headlines because of their anti-ghey stance and their condemnation of the ghey lifestyle. Isn't it then ironic that Robinson himself has condemned his own lifestyle for his attacks? 

Late nights, fast food, no exercise and lots and lots of ghey porn .... ghey sex is what most Christians seem to think about. 

It would be ungentlemanly for Old Knudsen to bring up his wife's affair with a younger man who she financed to open a restaurant. They are a good Christian couple and the Bible never said anything about boy boy gurl being an abomination so back off. 

Old Knudsen is sure that this isn't God displaying his wraith at hypocrites that condemn others while being prideful, sinful and full of hate themselves. 

The DUP however have condemned Mr Robinson's lifestyle and say they cannot support a heterosexual lifestyle or any other form of sexual relationship as sex is sinful. 

Many in the DUP are Creationists who only permit dry humping and the accidental insemination through the cum stained gunty method. Seeing yer spouse naked is forbidden and to gaze upon naked genitals would surely condemn you to Hell.   

They urge Mr Robinson to repent and offer himself up for 50 lashes in Belfast's Corn Market and to tell them where his wife Iris is so she can be stoned. 

     

Life Hack Licking

For years we've read reports that if yer hoose is too clean then you may be leaving yer child vulnerable to allergies, asthma and ebola because regular exposure to bacteria and microbes builds up the immune system.

Old Knudsen grew up in a home made of lead with lead paint on the walls, the ceiling was made out of asbestos and the sofa was made out of radioactive isotopes and it didn't do him any harm. We'd be given cat turds to play with and we'd only bring the soap out if we had company .... ah the wonder years, I wonder how I survived.  

Good parenting in action, no swine flu for him. 

I read on a Natural News credible medical website that vaccinations can make you altruistic so I'm glad that me parents probably either couldn't be arsed to to vaccinate me or the NHS in its usual highly efficient ways just didn't offer them ... London gets all the good stuff from the NHS like properly trained doctors and nurses and all the medicines you can eat, the more regional parts of the cuntry get the dregs and the out of date shit. No offense to all the dregs working in regional areas, it could be worse, you could be yer patients.      

Imagine an Old Knudsen that put the needs of others before himself, give me the mumps, measles, chicken pox and the clap again any day. Make sure yer own needs are met, you have to make sure that you climax cos no one else is going to do it for you, I've found that weemen get too carried away by yon multiple orgasms to worry if I've had me one and I'm done money shot.

All those do gooders who go to the Middle East to help folk only to be taken captive and killed, I bet they were vaccinated.
I did get vaccinated in the army probably with some super soldier serum, we didn't ask questions we just did as we were told and I got a jab for yellow fever after that for me Nile expedition but it looks like I didn't catch yon altruism.

A simple life hack is to go around licking things in order to build up yer tolerance to germs. Now don't go listening to those crazy ass Creationists, germs are real and not caused by witchcraft, they were actually invented by the Germans (hence the name) in 1874 as a biological weapon to conquer the world .... Those Germans are always at that sort of thing. 

If you think that licking things make you look odd and people will talk about you then sniff whatever you are about to lick so people know you are doing it with a purpose and are not some crazy fucker. 

From the land that brought you door handle licking the Japs are also into licking eyeballs. This is good if you don't want to have to wear glasses in later years so you won't catch the long or short sighted vision disease, of course the person getting licked may get an eye infection but what do you care? Caring is for idiots who got vaccinated.

Many short sighted people will dismiss this medical article blog post thing but it's their condition talking not them.

Our early ancestors never got ill as they had built up their immune system by licking and grooming others, they could also reach their own parts but now because evolution made us grow extra ribs and fat bellies we have to rely on others to get to those hard to reach spots.

Ever go to wipe yer arse and then decide it was too difficult to reach and just not bother? .... Aye Old Knudsen is the voice of the people, a build up of feces is bad for the environment as yer washing machine has to werk harder and use up more energy to get yer whites not so greyish. You could hand wash but if you can't be bothered to clean yer hole I doubt you can be bothered to take yer smalls doon to the river ..... In London they have running water .... the cunts! 

    What a shit eating grin, happy to help clean and stay healthy.  

I have contacted some medical experts to lend weight to this practice as some may dismiss this for being not socially acceptable or against the Bible, those would be the sheeple and the big pharmacy companies that charge you up to £185 or $278 for each vaccine.  It's only the wealthy 1% who can afford the vaccinations that don't include the altruism. 

Prove me wrong Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, send me 10 million quid for me needs.

Doctors Shipman, Crippen and Mengele have all lent their support to my licking immunity theory and if you can't trust a doctor then who can you trust? You may have heard of Dr. Josef Mengele, he is famous for his baby oil salad dressing.

   Lick it good. 

I hope I have improved yer life and the health of yer family by writing about this simple life hack that is free for all to use, however to make sure you are doing it right and safely just send me 4 easy payments of  £29.99 for my instruction video called lick yer way to better health . 

I only charge as the ladies I use in the video are not cheap .... ok they were cheap but the drink wasn't free and do you know how hard it is to get cat poo if you don't know anyone with a cat? Aye Gladys suggested using chocolate but I respect the audience too much, I'm no like Clint Eastwood who insults you with a plastic baby of course I slapped Gladys for even suggesting that I compromise my artistic integrity. 

Don't forget to state if you want it on VHS or Betamax.    

 

 

I Sea God

 God ignores yer prayers cos he hates you. 

What does Northern Ireland have? .... a poor reputation and fuck all nice things and why? Cos cunts break our nice things. 
We don't have religious tolerance or gender equality that's for sure and one of the ruling parties likes to remind the people that they live in a Theocracy but want it to be their brand. 

 

When arseholes aren't trying to blow people up or have riots over flags, we are trying to cash in on our Game of Thrones, Dracula untold and The Fall links to get tourists ... Jamie Dornan's beard had lunch here. 

We only get tourists when they come here by accident when they really meant to go to the Republic of Ireland not Northern Ireland, the former not being a part of the UK and a totally different cuntry .... no matter what the shiners say.

We need more shit for tourists to go and see so we can separate them from their money.

A statue of the Celtic sea god Manannán was cut from it's base with an angle grinder from a mountain top above Limavady.  Manannán is a good mate of mine and has been a very important deity throughout history to Celtic island settlers long before Christianity took over. He is featured in Irish, Scots, Manx and Welsh legend, the Isle of Man was named after him for fucks sake.

The local people are not very happy about this theft and Limavady mayor Gerry Mullan said, "The theft was premeditated and was not a random act of vandalism" how does he know this?

The Christian fundamentalists responsible kinda left behind a 5 foot tall cross with 'Thou Shalt  Have No Other Gods Before Me' in its place.

News outlets have reported it said  'no false gods' but it's Northern Ireland, high standards and accountability do not apply here, lucky Old Knudsen returned to this tagnut on the arse of Great Britain to point out what fucking amateurs the lot of them are.  

If I was getting paid I'd type your or you're instead of yer but I don't, these people do get paid but don't care cos their uncle got them the job and they think their ..... oh sorry there readers are idiots. 


The statue was a part of the Roe Valley Sculpture Trail aimed at boosting tourism in 2013... It must have taken them a while to come up with the plan.
The kind of people who did this are the same kind who try to get a lifetime ban on all ghey blood donors, are against ghey marriage, say no to abortion .... even in cases of rape and incest and take the scriptures literally, just like those radical Islamists but allegedly Christian though their actions say otherwise.

They are also hypocrites as number 8 in the commandments has Thou shalt not steal,  Do you think they follow Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour? .... nah, I bet they are lying shites and try to blame someone else when the police come knocking and knocking they will. Ya just had to go and covet, didn't you.

Yes the number one commandment proves that there are more than one god and that the Christian god is a bit insecure. When you date someone do you have to spell it out to them, 'hey since we're dating I'd appreciate it if you didn't fuck anyone else, and that includes oral sex too since yer a bit of a slut' .... aye that talk should wait until at least the second date huh.

This vandalism shows you the degradation of morals in today's society, these people may think they are God's soldiers (like ISIS) but in reality they are a big part of the problem. How many sleepless nights did a sculpture on a cliff top cause them? You stupid fucks, get a life.

The people of Northern Ireland really will go out of their way to be offended, worse than white US liberals when a black guy gets shot.
The ruling party of Norn Iron would love to teach creationism in schools and in museums and places of science and so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a DUP loving creationist did this.

There is just too much stupid in Northern Ireland, you could certainly compare it to the red states of the US, if only Jesus would fly doon and smite them with his big hammer.

    

Has The DUP Gone Full Retard?

DUP politician Nelson McCausland is either crooked or incompetent ... those are yer choices. 

So after Nelson McCauseland made some errors in the accounts while serving as minister for Minister for Social Development ... he made shit up now there is a new Minister, great, someone qualified for the job at last, not someone with a degree in geography or town fucking planning like most DUP ministers have. 

Mervyn Storey who doesn't have a degree even though he's an education spokesman (his daughter Lydia has a degree in geography, it made the news, no seriously it did) is much of the same as Nelson. A Young creationist which means obviously he's a moron he's also a member of the evil Caleb Foundation.

Why did they even bother to replace McCauseland? This cunt tried to get creationism into schools and museums just like the rest, there is no logic or reason in the heads of these twats.

Example: Should I give this lucrative building contract to the firm who can do it well or to this less expensive firm who are really just two men and a van? .... neither, you pay yer other friend to consult on this issue, run out of money and eventually hire the guy with the van.   

Well thank Gog they got rid of that other Young creationist Edwin Poots as Minister of Health, that homophobic twat was so incompetent I don't know how he was able to keep that post for so long, who do we have now?

Jim Wells???? .... another Young creationist homophobe.  This guy also believes that abortion should be illegal except for extreme medical emergencies and pregnant victims of rape are not an emergency.

The fetus is the "ultimate victim" you see and should not be punished by termination when adoption was possible ... cos people are lining up to adopt rape babies. The DUP like the Catholic Church only respect the rights of the unborn, everyone else can go and fuck off.

Are the ruling party (The DUP) having a laugh or are they just showing off their endless supply of brain damaged haters? ... well they don't do humour so I guess they are bragging.

The two main parties the Protestant mouth breathers DUP and the Fenian cock suckers Sinn Fein  cannot agree on any thing and Northern Ireland's system has been greatly fucked up, like when the US congress was closed and no cheques got sent out.

Cuts have been made because of this, tourist attracting events have been cancelled, road and street light repair is getting done even less than before and the police just cut 300 jobs. I'm sure the 12th celebrations are still on though cos the DUP love that shit.

 Loyalists don't do respect so why should they get it?

The cost of policing the Twaddell protest camp that came from not being allowed to march in a Catholic area last 12th July has risen to £12 million. I don't know why the police don't forcefully move them away ... oh yeah cos they don't want to start any trouble.
 

 Jamie Bryson looks totally like this deformed dead lamb. 

I think that the British government has had enough with these bickering twats who have been in power since 1998 but have done fuck all but argue and run the place down. Then you have wee cunts like Jamie Bryson gloating about how they will bankrupt the police because of Twaddell .... are you really that stupid? did yer Ma have any children that lived?

The DUP are sash wearing bigots with an agenda of stupidity.

The organisers of all parades need to start paying their way, no more handouts. We need insurance and deposits paid. That £12 million needs to come out of the Orange Order's pocket since it's their protest camp, don't worry they are always getting lottery grants and handouts from various government departments ... it's as if they have connections . If they are really descended from the lost tribes of Israel I'm sure the Jews will help them out .... Jews run the world you know, even those anti- Israel protests were run by the Jews, a canny people that's for sure.  

The police have the power to charge for their services so why do some events get charged while others (Orange Order) don't? Does the NHS charge for having ambulances sitting around at parades waiting for some hungover old git to pass out cos they can't stand for more than 10 minutes? It's the local councils who lift the beer cans and trash and clear away the bonfire mess.   

Do I like paying taxes to subside the poorly behaved sectarian cunt bags? ... that would be a no.  

If the devolved government of Northern Ireland can't function then bring back direct rule from London, we've had it before and what we have now is in no way better ... except for the bombs and shootings which only happen the odd time now.

The DUP want to run the place into the ground in order for them to broker a better deal for themselves but their time has come and gone and soon there will be Fenian cock suckers running the show which is only better if they'd stop trying to be so fucking Irish all the time.  An angel cries every time a deluded shinner puts a fada onto their name.
   

DUP Shaming

Woeful incompetence or fraudulent actions .... maybe a bit of both. DUP Politician Nelson McCauseland needs to resign, as does many of his fellow DUP members. McCauseland claimed that contractors working for the Northern Ireland Housing Executive were overpaid £18m, these firms were 'named and shamed' in the Assembly (political assembly, not school, but similar) but then it turned out that the figure of £18m had been pulled out of McCauseland's arse, much like the Ulster/Scots language he promotes and gets EU money for, ach yer ma nan weet na coom buket .... Your mother is a cum bucket.  

Some firms agreed to pay £670,000 to the Executive while one firm was actually owed money. This thing called accounting isn't exact ya know, it relies on the moon and the stars ... assuming that the world is only 6,000 years-old that is as we had fewer stars back then and a sun was 3 score and 5 which is elevenity sleven.

 

Health minister Edwin Poots tried to ban gheys from donating blood, the thing is that we'd get sent blood from England if we needed it and they don't have any such discriminatory ban which makes it stupid for us to have one, but still he kept trying ..... He is also fighting to stop ghey couples from adopting and uses public funds to pursue his will (as inspired by the Bible) through the courts.   

Ian Paisley jr is just retarded or something. Remember when he stood up at Westminster with a sheet of facts and figures about how countries that have same sex marriage now have more divorce? ... aye that took some of the politicians by surprise and the laugh they had, then the speaker of the hoose slowly and carefully explained causality and effect to him as she would to a child. 

Did you know that countries where Justin Bieber has toured have had a sharp increase in suicide? Well actually that one does make sense.   

Peter Robinson the leader of the DUP is a spineless racist cunt. When asked about Muslims he said that he wouldn't take spiritual advice from them but would trust them to go to the shops for him ... He didn't see anything wrong with saying that which explains why it took him a week to apologise and even then he just did it because someone said it was the right thing to do, I bet he still doesn't know why it was an inappropriate thing to say.

When the racist residents of East Belfast tried to stop a black family moving into a house in their area calling for Homes 4 Locals he said, well I do see their point .... great leadership.

Hey Peter! Loyalists just petrol bombed the home of a Romanian family ..... well I'm sure they had a good reason.

Men Of God Are Wild

Wise men going from village to village dispensing wisdom to the young is something we need more of these days. My blog is a 21st century evolution of that, and mostly because I can't be arsed going out as I'm allergic to stupid people.

No offence you stupid twat.

One such wise man is Justin Lookadoo, can ya just try to get past the name? no wonder yer trapped within the hell cycle of reincarnation, you'll never get enlightened and achieve what all enlightened people strive for .... total apathy.
I once asked a holyman sitting calmly under a tree while all the villagers were being rounded up and executed and their cattle raped and slaughtered for food, how he could remain so calm. Does this not anger you old man? Don't you wish to fight back?

 A hipster holyman who was praying long before anyone else started praying.

He slowly gazed around then looked at me and smiled and said, "All my fucks have been given today."  with that pearl of wisdom I told him to go get with the other dead men walking then I burnt his sacred Bodhi tree doon,  aye I was a right cunt in the 80's ..... the 1880's that is, I've mellowed out somewhat these days.          

Justin Lookadoo  is a Christian motivational speaker or a Christianist if you like. Old Knudsen accepts that wisdom can come from anywhere and so remains open to it. Lookadoo has taken it upon himself to travel around US high schools to show young people the kind of values and morals they need to instill for life.

"Dateable girls know how to shut up" ..... yes indeed, it's like you've read my journal. Those are also the ones who try to trap you with pregnancy, all young men should practice looking into the mirror, shrugging and saying, "I thought YOU were taking care of that."

Lookadoo says that gurls should accept their girly-ness and that the sexiest thing on a girl is happiness. Well you can't really go to high schools and talk about firm young bodies and perky breasts, trust me I've tried but they just aren't ready to listen.

Lookadoo the former juvenile probation officer with too much of an interest in the sex life of teenagers also says: 

Girls need to know their place and be subservient while at the same time being mysterious and confident but no little miss independent. Guys need to be needed so you should let them be needed while letting them lead because God made guys as leaders and to just let them be guys.

As they say in India and Pakistan, 'boys will be boys' and 'sometimes rape is wrong' we should learn from ancient cultures like that, not in a religious way as they are heathens but in a just about trust them to go to the shops for you way.

Men of God are wild and boys need to be strong, be honest and not look at porn. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys. Bring God into it. “What would He say if he was talking to me through this situation?” ... well if it was a young virgin lying asleep then god would probably fuck her without her knowing about it, that shit be immaculate bitch!

Call the baby Jesus or Bob, I don't care it isn't mine.
  

Good idea, wear a t-shirt with a puke pattern already on it.

What's this? Police found Lookadoo sitting in his car by the side of the road covered in puke and smelling like a brewery?
He told them he pulled over for a nap, I guess all that drinking tired the little man out. Justin, do you consider yerself a dateable guy?
The Federal government pays for him to speak to school kids, he covers issues such as keeping schools safe and drug free, abstinence education, pregnancy prevention, tobacco prevention. He was also once part of a group that cured gheys of their gheyness. Like Dr Hoose, "It's nat lupus, he's queer as a 2 dollar bill."

I'm sure that look he had going on prevented many a pregnancy and helped him with abstinence .... well not with the drunk driving obviously.

Those rapey eyes are checking out yer young firm happiness and yer tight underage dateability. His wisdom is wasted on the young people who dismiss his federally sanctioned misogynistic rape talks as he has been trolled mercilessly and is now known as Lookadouche.  Children can be so cruel eh Justin? aye, sexy and cruel ..... I'd date the fuck out of her. 

They persecuted Jesus when he loved everyone whether they liked it or not, they persecuted Ken Ham when he said that of course there were kangeroos on the ark, just because you haven't found any evidence to back up what I claim doesn't make it false ..... well they should have persecuted that cunt, what's wrong? get stuck in there.

And on the third or was it the fourth day? God dith cross a sheep and a kangeroo and what he got'tith was named by Adam as a knitted leaper, thank fuck scientists renamed it a wooly jumper. Tastes like chicken and is a little stringy.

Hold on a minute, Ham, who is the best smelling creationist ever says that there were kangaroos on the ark. How the fuck did they get the 7,000 miles to Australia? Within the 6,000 years that the earth has existed there has not been any land bridges, maybe they hopped over land then fell into the sea and floated there on a log.
Then why isn't there kangaroos in the Middle east and Asia .... too many questions um God did it! Well that's a little implausible. Maybe God got an Emu to swoop doon and grabbed a pregnant roo and flew it to Australia, then one of the lions from the Ark ate the only male.  Now that sounds far more likely.

Oh and God shrunk the Emus wings after the flight because he's a cunt and does shit like that. No mentally stable god floods the entire world to kill a science experiment that has gotten out of hand, rapes young gurls and sits back and watches his son being brutally tortured and then makes Justin Bieber famous.

What if God was Joffrey ? a sick fuck like Joffrey, who kills strangers on the bus trying to make their way home.

Before God stopped talking to humans and stopped doing miracles (when camera phones were invented) he did get on like a bit of a Joffrey. You die and get to Heaven, the Hound is on the gate telling you that there is no where fucking safe now get in and you find that God is King Joffrey.

"Look on the bright side" says St Michael, otherwise known as the hand "he's getting married tomorrow and yer invited" ....... Aye who doesn't like a wedding? Don't wear white wear red, it'll not show any stains as much.