Childhood Memories

Old Knudsen was a beautiful baby as you can agree, some wanted to leave him in on mount Taygetos to die from the elements or to be eaten by wild animals as was our way with sickly or disabled babies but it was thought that maybe I'd grow into my looks a bit more as I got older.

In those days we just didn't do disabled people, there was no building ramps or kneeling buses, no awkward moments when you want to stare at them but want to remain cool and so ignore them as you would anyone else but then get accused of discrimination. Should disabled people be treated like everyone else or should everyone else be treated as disabled people? ..... too much to ponder. 

In my day toddler training consisted of tough love, we'd be left alone in dark unfamiliar places for hours, half starved and crying, when me mammy came home from her bare knuckle tournaments she'd wash me in wine that would sting my eyes and tell me off for being so needy.

At the age of seven I was taken away from home to start my military service like all the boys did. We'd learn to be disciplined, not to let discomfort get to us, we learned martial arts and taught to run around half naked in the cold or the heat because the older men to whom we looked to for guidance liked it.
We'd be given lashes of the whip in a display to show how much we could take without crying out in pain, I'd usually win as it takes a while for pain to reach my brain, I also have a thick fuzzy pelt of hair on me back which also helped. I must say that a flogging is a great way to get rid of warts or suspect moles.  

Don't get me wrong it was a great childhood .... when I mean great a loving hug would have been nice and I don't mean from older men trying to guide me. Apart from that it was spot on.

We learned to survive on our wits, to scavenge and steal in order to survive. We had taken a whole nation as our slaves, they had great farm land and so we wanted it. Those people were called the Helots and outnumbered us 10 - 1, always revolting and trying to retake their lands, to show them what cunts we were we'd tell our 13 year-old boys that killing a Helot was a rite of passage.

They were adults and strong from working the land but when faced with a 13 year-old who has spent his life learning to kill with a xiphos which was a sword only 12 -16 inches long they never stood a chance. Stab stab stab in the groin cutting the femoral artery then running off .... that kept the slaves in their place.

Such an upbringing made Old Knudsen into the man he is today, my therapist thinks I could have done without the brutality but she doesn't understand. Back in my day it was, 'fucking Persians, lets kill them all or die trying' .... the die trying bit seemed a little extreme to me and so me back always conveniently gave out before a battle.  
Now it's 'fucking Muslims' same people but in my day it was honest racism, none of that religious shite.

Well it's good to see that children are being taken away from their homes and taught how to kill and die, putting the state, or the cause before themselves. Those children are being taught this by the likes of Hamas and ISIS and so I guess that makes us the Helots now. 

      

Men Of God Are Wild

Wise men going from village to village dispensing wisdom to the young is something we need more of these days. My blog is a 21st century evolution of that, and mostly because I can't be arsed going out as I'm allergic to stupid people.

No offence you stupid twat.

One such wise man is Justin Lookadoo, can ya just try to get past the name? no wonder yer trapped within the hell cycle of reincarnation, you'll never get enlightened and achieve what all enlightened people strive for .... total apathy.
I once asked a holyman sitting calmly under a tree while all the villagers were being rounded up and executed and their cattle raped and slaughtered for food, how he could remain so calm. Does this not anger you old man? Don't you wish to fight back?

 A hipster holyman who was praying long before anyone else started praying.

He slowly gazed around then looked at me and smiled and said, "All my fucks have been given today."  with that pearl of wisdom I told him to go get with the other dead men walking then I burnt his sacred Bodhi tree doon,  aye I was a right cunt in the 80's ..... the 1880's that is, I've mellowed out somewhat these days.          

Justin Lookadoo  is a Christian motivational speaker or a Christianist if you like. Old Knudsen accepts that wisdom can come from anywhere and so remains open to it. Lookadoo has taken it upon himself to travel around US high schools to show young people the kind of values and morals they need to instill for life.

"Dateable girls know how to shut up" ..... yes indeed, it's like you've read my journal. Those are also the ones who try to trap you with pregnancy, all young men should practice looking into the mirror, shrugging and saying, "I thought YOU were taking care of that."

Lookadoo says that gurls should accept their girly-ness and that the sexiest thing on a girl is happiness. Well you can't really go to high schools and talk about firm young bodies and perky breasts, trust me I've tried but they just aren't ready to listen.

Lookadoo the former juvenile probation officer with too much of an interest in the sex life of teenagers also says: 

Girls need to know their place and be subservient while at the same time being mysterious and confident but no little miss independent. Guys need to be needed so you should let them be needed while letting them lead because God made guys as leaders and to just let them be guys.

As they say in India and Pakistan, 'boys will be boys' and 'sometimes rape is wrong' we should learn from ancient cultures like that, not in a religious way as they are heathens but in a just about trust them to go to the shops for you way.

Men of God are wild and boys need to be strong, be honest and not look at porn. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys. Bring God into it. “What would He say if he was talking to me through this situation?” ... well if it was a young virgin lying asleep then god would probably fuck her without her knowing about it, that shit be immaculate bitch!

Call the baby Jesus or Bob, I don't care it isn't mine.
  

Good idea, wear a t-shirt with a puke pattern already on it.

What's this? Police found Lookadoo sitting in his car by the side of the road covered in puke and smelling like a brewery?
He told them he pulled over for a nap, I guess all that drinking tired the little man out. Justin, do you consider yerself a dateable guy?
The Federal government pays for him to speak to school kids, he covers issues such as keeping schools safe and drug free, abstinence education, pregnancy prevention, tobacco prevention. He was also once part of a group that cured gheys of their gheyness. Like Dr Hoose, "It's nat lupus, he's queer as a 2 dollar bill."

I'm sure that look he had going on prevented many a pregnancy and helped him with abstinence .... well not with the drunk driving obviously.

Those rapey eyes are checking out yer young firm happiness and yer tight underage dateability. His wisdom is wasted on the young people who dismiss his federally sanctioned misogynistic rape talks as he has been trolled mercilessly and is now known as Lookadouche.  Children can be so cruel eh Justin? aye, sexy and cruel ..... I'd date the fuck out of her. 

They persecuted Jesus when he loved everyone whether they liked it or not, they persecuted Ken Ham when he said that of course there were kangeroos on the ark, just because you haven't found any evidence to back up what I claim doesn't make it false ..... well they should have persecuted that cunt, what's wrong? get stuck in there.

And on the third or was it the fourth day? God dith cross a sheep and a kangeroo and what he got'tith was named by Adam as a knitted leaper, thank fuck scientists renamed it a wooly jumper. Tastes like chicken and is a little stringy.

Hold on a minute, Ham, who is the best smelling creationist ever says that there were kangaroos on the ark. How the fuck did they get the 7,000 miles to Australia? Within the 6,000 years that the earth has existed there has not been any land bridges, maybe they hopped over land then fell into the sea and floated there on a log.
Then why isn't there kangaroos in the Middle east and Asia .... too many questions um God did it! Well that's a little implausible. Maybe God got an Emu to swoop doon and grabbed a pregnant roo and flew it to Australia, then one of the lions from the Ark ate the only male.  Now that sounds far more likely.

Oh and God shrunk the Emus wings after the flight because he's a cunt and does shit like that. No mentally stable god floods the entire world to kill a science experiment that has gotten out of hand, rapes young gurls and sits back and watches his son being brutally tortured and then makes Justin Bieber famous.

What if God was Joffrey ? a sick fuck like Joffrey, who kills strangers on the bus trying to make their way home.

Before God stopped talking to humans and stopped doing miracles (when camera phones were invented) he did get on like a bit of a Joffrey. You die and get to Heaven, the Hound is on the gate telling you that there is no where fucking safe now get in and you find that God is King Joffrey.

"Look on the bright side" says St Michael, otherwise known as the hand "he's getting married tomorrow and yer invited" ....... Aye who doesn't like a wedding? Don't wear white wear red, it'll not show any stains as much.

   

Children Are Stupid

The child had a face that only a mother could love .... That says it all about most parents, even the bullet headed wee blonde fuckers who run around with snot caked onto their lips beating against trees with a metal bar, aye even many of those wee mean little cunts have some form of love in their lives.

Old Knudsen was in a grocery store where they had a wall full of pictures drawn by children. There was a proud mother with her child (probably named Ashley) and they were pointing out lil Ashley's contribution just loud enough for everyone around to notice.

I looked at yon pictures and what a load of fucking shite! aged 6 indeed, yer child is drawing at the level of a retarded squirrel thats high on varnish fumes.
No need to stand there looking all proud I suspect little Ashley has lead based paint in her room, for fucks sake children are useless morons these days.

Get a fucking job ya sponger! wah wah wah I'm only 6 years old I'm soo helpless. When Old Knudsen was 6 years-old he had 4 jobs.

He'd get up before dawn (she was a lazy fucker) and he'd work doon pit mining diamonds then he'd go to the factory that made model factories then he'd go to his job as a tea boy to the workers building sky scrapers, never forget the sugar, it's a long climb and as the sun went doon he worked as a pimp making sure those dumb bitches got him his money or he'd cut them.

Don't make excuses for them, when Old Knudsen was a kindergarten teacher he made those fuckheads re-do their finger paintings if he thought it lacked emotion or depth and I bet those children ... the ones who survived the mass suicide pact appreciated Old Knudsen's candor .

Charity Begins Though It Shouldn't

Seems that Children in Need was on the telly last week. Old Knudsen was busy with his fellow witches having a blood letting ritual to revive a famous dead person's Ka and put it into Miley Cyrus as she is an open vessel.

 Miley is off with the wee folk.

Children in need and Comic relief is television designed to guilt you into giving them money, much like religion. A telethon to raise money filled with b-list celebs. 

Yes Children have needs but we must keep the dirty wee fuckers on the right path or before you know it they are seducing their teachers. 

So Children in Need took up 6 hours of taxpayer TV for a load of shite that included JLS and Doctor Who and raised £31m, they raised  £26m last year. Maybe it's just me but I suspect it is a VERY well off organization to work for with VERY good salaries.... just a suspicion I have.

Comic Relief's Red Nose Day in March raised  £75m..... they also had their night on the BBC because the BBC is all about charity, especially the children. 

  Cardinal Keith O'Brien delivering some children to Sir Jimmy Savile.

Sir Jimmy Savile did decades of charity work, bless his soul huh. The BBC have to pay out millions in costs for that wee scandal and it's us who pay it. We are suck suckers.

It's those with the least that give the most. 

 

The Queen or other multimillionaires can look good and give 5 grand but thats like us giving 50p. C'mon ya rich cunts thats only half a week of spa treatments.

 

We poor scum on the other hand have bedroom tax to pay (not Northern Ireland yet) not to mention  £145 a year in BBC license fee and for what? so they can squander it and guilt us into giving more? 

 

Old Knudsen doesn't watch much TV and the £145 for the honour of having the BBC is not justified. If they put on porn and zombies then Old Knudsen wouldn't complain but idiot reality shows, sport and 6 hours of charity giving ...... go fuck off!

 

I've told this to the BBC but they didn't reply and it's the law to have the license so until there is an opt out of the BBC we are shafted..... why does the government need a TV channel or dozens of shops selling TV merchandise? and why do they need us to fund it?    

Health Minister Edwin Poots on his children's work camp farm.

Why should we have a three year charity appeal to buy an MRI scanner for the Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children ? The charity reached £2m and the government will kindly pay for operating costs, thats 3 years of waiting, why not just go onto the telly? 

The MRI machine won't be operational until next year.  Why the fuck should a charity have to get the money for something like this ?

Lets set some ground rules, I'll give you aid if you promise not to breed more starving Africans to feed cos it's just not working out. 

Then if you give to a charity and stupidly give them yer address they keep sending you begging letters packed full of glossy pics of abused donkeys  or dogs in a cage .... why not save the money that all these letters cost to send out and buy the CEO that Merc they wanted. 

 

Animal rights activist Sandra Lertzman killed herself and took 30 of her rescue dogs with her, you just don't know who you are helping out these days. Organizations like PETA put doon animals all the time but keep it quiet...... Charity is all about the moral high ground.   

 

So lets paint everything pink for breast cancer awareness .... as long as the Susan G. Komen foundation doesn't sue the other charities for using that colour ..... um, not very helpful, it's almost like it's a business and you want to be the best. What about the breasts and helping? 

  

A woman with breasts in case you didn't know what I was talking about ... be aware, the world needs more wares.... or be a douche bag yer pretty good at that.  

 

Will the paint used, cause cancer?  that would be total irony. I'm sick the fuck of people being taken for a ride, why do we have to give money to raise awareness of breast cancer? who the fuck isn't aware of the existence of breast cancer? 

 

Why do we have to pay for awareness? 

Even Osama Bin Laden knew about it, he was on the mailing list for the begging letters, thats how we found him. 

Celebs telling us who we should give our money to.

Make up yer fucking mind, I'm not a walking ATM.

 

Now yer taking the piss.

 Oh the guilt!

Ok we get it, you like to raise awareness for charities but do you 'really' know where the money goes to? We give aid to Africans only to feed the local warlords who take it..... Hey Oxfam how cum you yer CEO's get such big bonus' that kinda defeats the purpose. 

 

Oh yeah there is their business skill etc but should they earn so much?  Especially in a job that is based on charity, what would the giver on the street say if they knew their 50p went towards the CEO's yacht ? 

Charity begins at home, stop giving shit to foreigners and help yer own lot. The more you give to charity the less the government has to cough up, and they fucking well have it. Austerity my arse, lets cut hospitals and rest homes to save money.

The government should be providing MRI's and help for wounded veterans but why should they if a self serving charity will do it for them?  No need to have a children's hospital, I'm sure some charity will pay for it if we close it. 

 

The NHS has a campaign about mental health called Mind yer head it has a website but if you go to yer doctor you'll find there is fuck all help available, maybe some CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) for 6 weeks and then yer done. Aye to be told to go for a walk to get out of the house or to keep yerself busy by a disinterested therapist for 6 wks is a great help. 

 

If you need any further help they may refer you to a charity like the  WAVE Trauma Centre . Lovely people and for a £5 donation you can get a massage .... true story bro.     

We pay for the BBC and don't get what we want, we pay road tax on our vehicles and don't get pot-hole free roads so what makes you think you'll actually help the crying little gurl on the TV that some Christians want you to save? Jimmy Savile was a Christian ..... just saying. 

 

A line in the sand

I refuse to give through peer pressure, oh what a cunt you are for not giving, I shall burn holes in you with my eyes.

When Old Knudsen didn't give to a Religious charity the guy shouted after me, "God loves you anyway" go fuck off you guilt trip giving fucker.

If I do give to a charity it will be on my terms and not because society expects me to or that the Big Issue seller (who doesn't actually sell them cos who wants them?) steps into my path  or because wearing a poppy tells people what I think. Old Knudsen is sick of being run by misplaced guilt. The guilt should be on the government that doesn't provide the service. 

 

In foreign cuntries like India, travelers are advised not to give to child beggers in the street. Disabled beggers might have been disabled by a criminal gang and you are now giving them money so they might do some more harm to others.   

Following that rule then you shouldn't give to any charity cos who knows what goes on in the background? 

 

   

Web Of Lies

It has been well established that Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams is a sociopath, he has no remorse for the people killed or disappeared by his orders or the harm he has done their families. If he lives by a moral code of ethics it's one invented that suits him and his cause. He is well used to using the appeal of the Irish to charm and manipulate others. He hides behind a wall of lies with people who have passed away as his witness of his actions ..... and he probably tortures orphaned puppies.

He said that one of his most vivid memories of his time in jail (1973 - 1977) was joining a chorus of Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life with other prisoners after the guards had beaten the shit out of everyone.
The prison guards beat them mercilessly and threw them into their cells, all was silent for a time then a wee voice doon the at the end of the wing started singing the song and before you knew it hundreds of prisoners were singing it ..... ah good times.      

Except the song wasn't written until after his release in 1979. Maybe Eric Idle was in a cell and just made it up then and there.

 

Lets Monty Python his account up a bit, if yer gonna lie then lie big.

We had just finished lunch which was a very passable bit of risotto and a good glass of Château de Chasselas. Obadiah the prison guard called out, 'time for yer daily beatings, form an orderly queue please' I pointed out to the guard that yesterday's beating was well below par and that I'd be lodging a formal complaint.
The guards mercilessly beat us with broken bottles covered in razor blades and wrapped in barbed wire, they would taunt us by saying we loved onions more than potatoes which was a total fabrication which I denied every time even if it meant that I got 15 times more of a beating than everyone else, they even used a sword covered with thumb tacks and dipped in acid to beat me with but I said no! the potato was my utmost fantasy next to a united Ireland fantasy.
They threw us roughly to the ground then dragged us to our cells where we sleep on a pile of old newspapers and dead rats.... the newspapers were the Dail mail, those Brit bastards!
When the guards left there was silence, then a small quivering voice of defiance started to sing from the end of the cell block .....

Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. 
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best, and...

 Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Did you tell that to yer niece when she came to you for help and told you her Da was diddling her? "Don't worry Aine, worse things happen at sea."

Gerry was never in the IRA and didn't know the IRA men training Farc guerrillas in Colombia.

He also didn't have any contact with his brother Liam for 15 years after he found out that he was abusing his daughter Aine, thats Liam on the right with the pedo gaze in his eyes.

And many more things he doesn't own up to until there is photographic proof but letting Liam keep his knee caps and remaining in Sinn Fein and even working with children ..... just deny and let things blow over.    

Be like Old Knudsen and never lie so then you will never face the shame of getting caught. Not that Gerry feels any shame. 

 

No those leggings don't make yer arse look big, the 50 LBS of buttock lard per cheek makes yer arse look big.
You don't get any thanks for being honest but at least yer conscious will be clear.

Kill Yer Speed Not The Children

All the children go and play on a busy motorway.

A council in Leicester .... England, has come up with an interesting way to slow motorists doon. Old Knudsen is a very careful driver, unless something gets in his way.

 Like children ....

Outside a primary school they have put up concrete bollards that resemble children-ish. Aye that is bound to slow you doon as you go WHAT THE FUCK?

Of course people might just aim for them.

People are bound to hit this one and then suddenly everyone is Trayvon again.... yawn!

People have complained that they'll distract drivers and that their eyes are creepy and someone is bound to draw a penis on them at sometime ..... cos thats what they do here. They should have made the kids texting, like they do in real life.

 

Don't call me creepy, love me....

Like Scarecrows people will adjust to them and then ignore them. Each figure cost the council £350 and is part of an overall road safety initiative costing  £230,000.

Other measures include a  20mph speed limit ..... huh? 10mph would be better but who listens to Old Knudsen? Hes seen a child get hit at a school when the car was doing around 20mph. Do you want to run to yer child lying on the road with her bone sticking out of her leg because car and child were not paying attention?

Use the money to have a cop on hand and that way yer making money and enforcing the law, jobs a good un.

Touched By An Angel

Back on track as my faith in Christians is at an all time low. Why do Christians hate everyone and molest children?  Just like yon Muslims too, 72 virgins indeed.

Hot chicks are far better than children, trust me on this.

Is this lass a mermaid? well I don't see a fishtail but I smell fish.

So glad this babe got dressed up, she must be going to church to tempt all those pedos away from the kiddies.

According to some religious types 'God is great' .... well tits are better.

Suffer The Little Children

Where is Bughuul the eater of children when you need him? There is this little boy named Alfie who lives nearby. The thing about Northern Ireland is that people cannot regulate their speech levels and combine that with the social graces of a rabid dog and a lack of respect, they find that they have to shout over each other.
The grandad was telling Alfie not to do something because then people would think he was a bad boy. Alfie loudly asks, "I'm I a bad boy grandad?" there was a silence and then something muttered by the grandad.

Not wanting to encourage Pagan deities or pedos , you'd get a lot of postive press if you pick children like Aflie.
It's almost the 12th July and Alfie has his dad's drum, hes loudly banging for hours knowing just one short riff and playing it over and over, when he isn't doing that he and his friends are parading around the neighbourhood with their drums and also drumming on cars and fences.  

Bughuul, how about getting yer ass into gear?

Puff For Yer Rights

 

Smoking is sexy 

A property rental firm in the US Related Companies is banning smoking in more than 40,000 rental residences it owns and manages, you can't even smoke on yer balcony without the risk of eviction. The company has rentals in New York, Boston, Santa Monica, California and Chicago.

Starbucks tells it's drive thru customers that they can't smoke in their car because it's within 25 feet of a building.

 

 Smoking is sexy

Hospitals throughout the US also do not allow any smoking on it's premises WTF , if there is one thing that calms Old Knudsen doon after sawing open the skull of a patient is a ciggie. I even blow the smoke away from the patient in a considerate manner. Lucky the UK still allows smoking and if it ever stops it then that will be the day that Old Knudsen quits.... you'll lose one of yer finest gynecologists.

 

What about FREEDOM!!! It's in the constitution that Each man is entitled to pursue happiness not giving a fuck about anyone else ... amen. 
    
I am arguing for the sake of the USA because when things happen there then Europe gets the idea to copy them. It's USA not USSR , even though that isn't around anymore but you get my gist. It's North America not North Korea.

In fact shame on you fag haters, Lil Kim in North Korea can smoke in his hospitals, now thats what I call real freedom.

Comparing America to dictator cuntries really isn't working very well. 

Think about the children! without smoking they will take up drinking, drugs or religion .... infect their lungs but leave their souls alone for fuck sake.

Has religion not caused enough grief in the world without this?  You'd think God would like fags because they cause suffering and kill people off for him.

We need to smoke for Satan and blow smoke in the face of  injustice ... and babies (cause it's funny) next you know it'll be illegal to kill hookers, it's a slippery slope my friends. 

Must I remind you? smoking is sexy

Christmas Prayers

Dear God I pray that peace comes to Somalia, Congo, Zimbabwe and the Middle East. That all the children in the 3rd world have been good for a change so Santa will bring them presents. Please help the world economy to get better and I am thankful that my daddy is a wealthy Politician.

Oh fuck all that God just kill off Old Knudsen he gives me the creeps and you know he wants my sexy body.


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