Human Pop Up Ads

The thing I've grown to hate are human pop up adds in malls. You walk through a mall on yer way to a specific shop but in the way there are kiosks or just a table with a billboard and pacing around it are usually two bored yet eager sales people.

It reminds me of Botanic ave in Belfast back in the day when you had to run the gauntlet of day drinkers all asking, "ya got 20p mister?" you'd become more aware like Jason Bourne with senses heightened and maybe cross the street several times if you couldn't be arsed telling them to fuck off.

A mall should be a safe place, you go to the shop and buy something, you don't go to fight off sales people trying to sell you things you didn't even intend on getting.

Excuse me sir would you like to save £50 on your electrical bill? 

Do you mind looking stupid? No, I don't want to save money on my electric bill, I want to pay the full whack as it makes me hard, that and cutting hookers are the only things that do it for me since the war. 

We're young Americans on a mission to save your soul, would you like to hear about the Lord you heathen Brit? 

 

 

Our Lord is better, listen to us. It says so right here so it must be true. Don't think, the Devil wants you to think for yourself, join us.

 

Old Knudsen HATES people phoning him up trying to sell him something, he HATES people knocking his door trying to sell him something, he HATES being stopped in the street by people trying to sell him something. 

 

What do you know about my heating costs? I will find you and kill you unless you get a proper job. 

 

I have the Internet. If I wanted to watch shite TV shows and maybe one decent one I'd sign up for Sky television but I don't like sports, soaps and reality shows so fuck off! 

Old Knudsen's ad block plus is a short swift karate chop in the air and a "no thanks" before they even finish. I don't slow down I keep walking but it annoys the fuck out of me. I didn't even make eye contact for fucks sake.

It usually isn't religious people as Jehovah's Witnesses just stand in the street now unless you engage them. The Mormons will try it on though. It's utility companies, TV satellite and cable companies, mobile phone companies and numerous charities. 

You go out to buy some fat balls and those self adhesive plastic sticky hooks and someone asks you about changing cell phone providers, what the holy fuck? Did I look like I wanted to complicate my life today? 

No I don't want to sample yer pretzels I doubt you've even washed yer hands and who the fuck else has breathed over them. Old Knudsen doesn't touch hand rails or the rubber rail on escalators without using his cuff over his hand but you want to offer him Ebola food?     

Then there are the charities. It you want to support cancer in children which is a sick fucken idea cos kids shouldn't be given cancer or guide dogs for the blind (they get everything) or adopting some dog you'll never see if it even exists then give them yer loose change. 

They have collection buckets but instead of giving them some money and being done they talk to you and try to get you to £3 a month forever from yer bank account. 

I like supporting Alzheimer charities and the like cos at least 5 of Old Knudsen's family have had or have it but do I want to support it until I die? I might start liking breast cancer or clean drinking water in the future who knows? Trends change and fuck my crazy family.

Alzheimer's is caused by malicious fairies that want to trap you in the fairy realm, how can giving them £3 a month stop it? Rowan trees in yer garden and iron stops fairies, everyone knows this. If yer relative has Alzheimer's just give them a knife made of iron and they'll be protected .... don't say I said to do this as I have numerous lawsuits already against me for the Energenup health smoothies and don't need yer slander. 

For Americans you should get yer relative a gun with bullets coated in salt. Just because you can't see the fairies it doesn't mean they aren't there so let them fucken shoot and quit yer judging. 

Would these charities not make more in a day by rattling their buckets? I often give them money out of guilt and don't really want to take their pens or wristbands as that defeats the purpose. I don't even want a sticker as my philanthropy is a personal things not a one-upmanship thing to show I'm morally better than you without yer sticker.    

Aye £3 forever is no doubt better than a few hundred a day, even if only a few agree. Then the charity CEO's can get better cars and bigger houses. 

You know what would make me give more to charity? Aye you've guessed it, presentation. I would so wear her daffodilo.


 

 
   

 
    

She Was Somebody

Does anyone really want or need to see this?

There are no stupid questions only stupid answers, what moron said that? I want porn but do I really need it? ... of course I do duh!

This post is about wants and needs. If you find yourself in it then that is a testament to my skill as a righter. I updated this to include a friend recently lost who would not have listened anyways, she'll be missed.
 

Olive Cooke was one of Britain's oldest poppy sellers being aged 92. She devoted 76 years of her life selling them. In 1939 when she was 16 she sold some because her father was a member of the British Legion having served in WWI. Selling them became even more personal when her first husband was killed in action during WWII.

Olive with her husband Leslie Hussey-Yeo.

A familiar face in Bristol she helped in numerous fund raisers and has been given medals and awards for her selfless acts working in charity. 

When Olive was diagnosed with cancer she had to stop some of her direct debits to the various charities, you know the type of organization, not content with 50p in a jar they stop you in the street and try to guilt you into donating just £3 a month .... those things really bend my shite. That's £36 a year. Does that sound as if charities are grateful that you donated no matter how small or does that sound very self entitled and taking the piss? 

In one month she got 267 pieces of begging mail. 

Olive would get about 6 begging letters from charities that she had never even donated to and that amount would rise to about 10 around Christmas, phone calls too. He speculated that they had to have passed her details around.

Her state pension didn't go far and she needed the money if she was going to beat her cancer, she also suffered from depression and her sleep was affected. This normally fun loving woman could only see gloom. The arrival of the post in the morning became a time of dread for her and though it wasn't the cause of her death it certainly was a factor.

"I open and read every single one of them but my problem is I've always been one that reads about the cause then I can't say no. The stories play on people's generosity. I have always donated to charity and I only use my post office pension for my water bills and all of my direct debits to charity but as I am getting older, I have been told I need to start cutting back."

Olive jumped into Avon gorge near the Clifton Suspension Bridge and died from her multiple injuries, 2 days before the anniversary of VE day. 

She kept giving and giving, she made it her life. I'm sure she felt guilt at not being able to help all those charities and even more when she had to cancel her ongoing payments. Yes those big business charities don't have much of a soul and just think how much money they waste on printing letters. If yer charity has a CEO and a board of directors who drive flashy cars then yer doing it wrong. 

Olive didn't think that her own needs were important, maybe she felt she was being selfish if she could afford an extra can of cat food to eat every week. 

Her needs were important, you can't rely on anyone else to make sure yer needs are being met because things and people change. Sacrifice is noble and a positive trait at times but if you make it a constant habit then you become that person whose happiness depends on pleasing others and guess what? You can't please everyone and it will never be enough. 

Because Olive let her issues build and focused on her works as a distraction her own needs remained unfulfilled. Those kind of needs, sorrows and losses creep up on you and twist yer thoughts in the quiet moments and the conclusion you come up with is that you are worthless and the world is better off without you. 

If depression hadn't made Olive its bitch she'd have laughed at it and said, 'the past is done with, can't change it, I'm as good as anyone and I deserve to be looked after so fuck off depression, I matter and I'm smarter than that.'

You can't save the world and fix everything but you can be responsible for what you do and you can be the best you that you can be, not perfect, everyone has their faults, just do good and keep trying. You have no control over what others do, say or think so don't let it get to you, you aren't their therapist so they can go and fuck off and project their issues elsewhere. When someone gives you hassle it is usually their own issues that are speaking and you just happen to be the person to hear it.

Olive didn't look after herself, now her children grieve, the world is one good person less and the charities get the lump sum of fuck all. 

Learn from Olive, make her death count.  

 

          

In Memory Of Tachaé Matkovčík.

    

Nipples For Charity

I read this story in the Belfast Telegraph online in which it said that people all across Northern Ireland were taking a New year dip in the cold ocean for charity.

Photos of attractive gurls with not much clothes on often generates interest in a story for Old Knudsen that he may have otherwise have missed .... yes I hates meself for being so shallow but after a few pics I get over that.

Whitley bay.

I looked at the above picture and thought, 'good looking shapely weemen, where in Northern Ireland are they from?' It turns out that these lassies were in England ... aye that's about right. For a moment I was impressed with the lack of fake tans, blonde bleached hair and mannish features.

Helen Slater has really let herself go a bit. 

No, this was what Northern Ireland had to offer. While I'm sure she has a nice personality and is quite jolly I don't want to see her gasping in an erotica way at the cold water as her nips pop up like corks.

Yes, DC does turn Old Knudsen off.

Chronic Anger Disorder

I don't want to see yer nipples pop out anyway.

I work with a lovely therapist lass on issues such as sex addiction, kleptomania, attachment disorder and anger management. I don't think I'd be so angry if the judge hadn't forced me to get help for problems that really seem like OTHER PEOPLE'S FUCKING FAULT!!!!

So I'm writing about things that have bothered me recently. Chronic Anger Disorder or CAD affects 4/10 people and can result in unfriending and stalking with intent to murder. Stupid people voicing opinions are thought to be one of the main triggers of it. 

1) I'm still banging on about Gaza, yes the loss of life is terrible but blame Hamas ya stupid gits, why you keep ignoring the elephant in the room? Ach it's all a chess game between Hamas and Fatah and it's not like you have the brain power to ken it. Away and protest in a Sainsburys or Tesco, that will help I'm sure.
News reports use a wording that has Israel launches attack on Gaza .... then it mentions it was in retaliation for rockets fired at Israel, they sort of gloss over that bit a little. There are more forces at play than the average reader knows about and so the Russell Brand types will lament over the loss of life without really engaging their brains on what caused it.

I don't cheer for Israel or excuse their actions but I have to support them as the alternative are a people who would behead me for their god .... they can fuck right off. 

2) The antisemitism that has swept the world since July. Some people cannot distinguish between the government of Israel and Jews around the world. This is playing into the hands of radical Muslims and neo-Nazis. There has been an increase in right wing parties in politics, this is known as protest voting as they are really dissatisfied with all other parties so they will gladly vote for bigots who blame the immigrants or anyone else.   
This happens during a recession, the mindless mob sees problems and no solutions, when someone comes along and speaks their thoughts they vote for them which is how Hitler came to power.

It's also how Obama came to power, he promised hope and change at a time when the people needed it, he also brought with him a skin colour that would show America as being "modern" that right there played on America's white man's guilt and it would be racist not to vote for him.

I hate Nazis and I hate that mindset. The Israeli government have employed that mindset against the Palestinians to a point but to attack Jews in Paris or London is down right stupid, like how people attacked Muslims or anyone they thought was Muslim after 9/11.

I won't stand for bigotry or the lack of thinking that goes along with it.   

 

 Protesters/rioters in Ferguson looking to get shot, and they'll deserve it. 

3) The shooting of Michael Brown. I don't care what colour he is/was he was a petty criminal. Some claim that the CCTV shows him paying for the cigars (I don't see it) but why then ignore him grabbing the store owner, that was not a discussion, that was intimidation.

You don't give his friend Dorian Johnson a TV interview afterwards, you arrest him and question him. What that ghetto hood said was total lies and highly improbable, typical of a criminal trying to cover himself and his friend. Evidence and other eye witnesses back up the police account . This is not a tragic waste of life, why aren't you yapping about the two unarmed white guys shot dead by police in that same week?  We don't have white man's guilt over slavery in the UK it was just a matter of time before the lad got killed on the streets anyway. It's good that it happened before he killed someone.  

He was ghetto trash, just like those who looted stores after his death, just like those who riot in his name and just like the scum in Northern Ireland who parade and riot when they don't get their way. The police in Ferguson are doing something called crowd control, you need tear gas and rubber bullets ..... better than real bullets no? This is what police do.

I'll no likely get called a racist even though I'm not, it's dickheads I'm against no matter their skin colour and Michael Brown and his friend were dickheads. Did he deserve to get shot? well if you attack a cop, then charge at him why yes you do deserve to get shot, death by cop is an American past time.  If I was in that cop's shoes I'd shoot too, of course I'd use less bullets cos I'm cool as Vanilla Ice. 

Steven Sotloff the next American journalist on the beheading list.

4) ISIS killing some folks. I have been sickened by the severed heads, the road side executions, the Yazidi persecution and now an American gets beheaded. The towel heads attack the press because it gets more coverage.
ISIS annoy me because I don't like bullies, I'd love to go toe to toe against these Jahadis and show them that my god (.50 cal Barret M107 ) is the wey.
We went to war over oil and family grudges, lets go to war against cowardly scumbags who think they can murder and do as they please. Stop cutting the armed forces and deploy them instead.

Many think we don't want another war but this one against Islamic fascism would be just and that is what we need. Do the Iraqis want to live under ISIS? C'mon west we fucked up the Middle east more than it already was, we need to go back and at least try to fix it ..... why should ISIS be allowed to sell oil?

 I keep challenging Kate Upton and Christina Hendricks but they don't listen.

5) The Ice bucket challenge, this annoys and amuses me, seeing people like Stephen King, Sarah Palin and George W Bush getting cold water poured over them is funny but like the make up free selfies all of this appeals to vanity and is passive aggressive peer pressure.
You don't want to be named and shamed as the person who didn't do it, Like how Charlie Sheen threw 10 grand over himself instead of ice and challenged his Two and a half men stars and it's producer to do the same .... he has some real hate issues going on there.

What does it say about our society that charities have to provide the MRI machines and the research into illness? It's hard to take some of the larger charities seriously when the CEO is getting a huge salary and other employees are well looked after too, it kinda defeats the purpose.

We're raising money to keep us employed and what's left over will go to research or awareness. Fuck awareness, it's called a blog, Twitter or Facebook and it's free. If you don't know about Cancer or Africa by now you never will .... oh and I forgot about Alzheimer's .... I always forget about ....     

 

Was suffering from ALS before everyone else jumped on the bandwagon. 

Many who take the ice bucket challenge just do it to be one of the cool kids, I doubt they all donate to ALS, but they should cos it's really not a nice way to go being trapped inside a body that no longer moves.
The people who have been going on about wasting water annoy me more than the challenges do, yer wasting oxygen ya tossers, away an protest at yer local golf club, the amount of water wasted on ghey 'play a round with the boys' golf is the kind of waste that dries up towns and lowers the water table, the ice bucket challenge is a drop in the ocean compared to golf .... do the challenge on yer fucking lawn to shut them up.

ALS or Motor neurone disease is one of the over looked charities that we actually need awareness for, the reason why it's overlooked is because only 30,000 in the US have it and only 5,000 in the UK have it ..... no money to be made looking for a cure.

Wouldn't it be nice if governments paid for such research, drugs and equipment? Wouldn't it be nice if charity executives cut back on expenses and bonuses so they could raise more?

Trivialise charity events and appeal to vanity of the donor, the winner with the catchiest idea gets the loot, as simple as that. I only donate to edgy hardly known charities cos I'm hardcore and against the system.  

It's all good fun and for a good cause right? .... no, it's a business.    

Fleggers Hate Old Knudsen

So when I made an innocuous comment about LAD merchandise being of good quality (that was really all I said) on the flegger page 'Loyalists Against Democracy Exposed' when they were attacking the LAD shap prices and LAD in general.
It costs a lot of money to run these online shops if you want decent products. I think they are pissed off that their money making scams were not as professional and they have been caught out several times for running a scam.

The exposed page removed my comment and blocked me from making further comments.

Then they kept insisting that they do not remove comments unless they are abusive, mine was not. Many fleggers pages including The Protestant Coalition do the same.

They said:
"Only offensive comments get removed here, we have no problem with anyone expressing their views, but you must show respect to others."

Why do you lie Loyalists Against Democracy Exposed? My first and only comment was a positive one giving my opinion on LAD products as I have bought some in the past.  Same old shit, Gog forbid that  LAD should want to give money to a charity and boost the awareness of it's existence.



The exposed page and Fleggers in general had a problem with LAD choosing the SOS Bus NI  charity as the one to donate proceeds of the LAD Christmas song which makes fun of the whole flegging scene. I guess they don't like being laughed at, you'd wonder why they go to so much trouble to give people things to laugh at them for.
Fleggers made threatening and abusive comments towards the charity, claiming they were working with LAD etc and so SOS Bus NI had to decline LAD's offer of a donation.  

Go to Loyalists Against Charity for more info.

Don't worry, they'll get attention thanks to the Fleggers being cocks and the money will flow in.
 
LAD is an anti-sectarian page and only harshly mocks bigots and stupid wankers. They will remove comments that are bigoted or just mean from ANYONE from any side . It's a satire page and has a line to walk. Those who don't do humour often fail to get the point of the page and leaving their attacking comments spoils the fun. They should keep the comments on as the trolls need to troll. 

I am against Loyalists Against Democracy Exposed as they have the neo Nazi Alice Dowson commenting and maybe shes an admin too, which probably means it's Jim Dowson pretending to be his daughter again, he did that to get around his bail restrictions.... if I'm lying I'm dying ... nope, not dead yet.
They are trying to blame the good guys for something which in this case is LAD.

Analogy to help you understand: 
A mindless bully is going around the school yard hitting people and giving them abuse ... not cool huh?
One of pupils, just an average Joe stands up to them but not being a thug they don't punch them, they make fun of them and belittle them to make them feel wick and remove some of their power.

The bullies are the fleggers and LAD is Joe. Think about who you support.

So many lies have cum from Fleggers over the last year and they have been caught out lots of times. Making things up to stir up the sectarian haters to push them into action of some kind and inflame the situation. 
The current Flegger campaign against LAD means that some Fleggers feel they aren't getting any attention and are feeling irrelevant .... I think they should get used to that. 
   

Charity Begins Though It Shouldn't

Seems that Children in Need was on the telly last week. Old Knudsen was busy with his fellow witches having a blood letting ritual to revive a famous dead person's Ka and put it into Miley Cyrus as she is an open vessel.

 Miley is off with the wee folk.

Children in need and Comic relief is television designed to guilt you into giving them money, much like religion. A telethon to raise money filled with b-list celebs. 

Yes Children have needs but we must keep the dirty wee fuckers on the right path or before you know it they are seducing their teachers. 

So Children in Need took up 6 hours of taxpayer TV for a load of shite that included JLS and Doctor Who and raised £31m, they raised  £26m last year. Maybe it's just me but I suspect it is a VERY well off organization to work for with VERY good salaries.... just a suspicion I have.

Comic Relief's Red Nose Day in March raised  £75m..... they also had their night on the BBC because the BBC is all about charity, especially the children. 

  Cardinal Keith O'Brien delivering some children to Sir Jimmy Savile.

Sir Jimmy Savile did decades of charity work, bless his soul huh. The BBC have to pay out millions in costs for that wee scandal and it's us who pay it. We are suck suckers.

It's those with the least that give the most. 

 

The Queen or other multimillionaires can look good and give 5 grand but thats like us giving 50p. C'mon ya rich cunts thats only half a week of spa treatments.

 

We poor scum on the other hand have bedroom tax to pay (not Northern Ireland yet) not to mention  £145 a year in BBC license fee and for what? so they can squander it and guilt us into giving more? 

 

Old Knudsen doesn't watch much TV and the £145 for the honour of having the BBC is not justified. If they put on porn and zombies then Old Knudsen wouldn't complain but idiot reality shows, sport and 6 hours of charity giving ...... go fuck off!

 

I've told this to the BBC but they didn't reply and it's the law to have the license so until there is an opt out of the BBC we are shafted..... why does the government need a TV channel or dozens of shops selling TV merchandise? and why do they need us to fund it?    

Health Minister Edwin Poots on his children's work camp farm.

Why should we have a three year charity appeal to buy an MRI scanner for the Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children ? The charity reached £2m and the government will kindly pay for operating costs, thats 3 years of waiting, why not just go onto the telly? 

The MRI machine won't be operational until next year.  Why the fuck should a charity have to get the money for something like this ?

Lets set some ground rules, I'll give you aid if you promise not to breed more starving Africans to feed cos it's just not working out. 

Then if you give to a charity and stupidly give them yer address they keep sending you begging letters packed full of glossy pics of abused donkeys  or dogs in a cage .... why not save the money that all these letters cost to send out and buy the CEO that Merc they wanted. 

 

Animal rights activist Sandra Lertzman killed herself and took 30 of her rescue dogs with her, you just don't know who you are helping out these days. Organizations like PETA put doon animals all the time but keep it quiet...... Charity is all about the moral high ground.   

 

So lets paint everything pink for breast cancer awareness .... as long as the Susan G. Komen foundation doesn't sue the other charities for using that colour ..... um, not very helpful, it's almost like it's a business and you want to be the best. What about the breasts and helping? 

  

A woman with breasts in case you didn't know what I was talking about ... be aware, the world needs more wares.... or be a douche bag yer pretty good at that.  

 

Will the paint used, cause cancer?  that would be total irony. I'm sick the fuck of people being taken for a ride, why do we have to give money to raise awareness of breast cancer? who the fuck isn't aware of the existence of breast cancer? 

 

Why do we have to pay for awareness? 

Even Osama Bin Laden knew about it, he was on the mailing list for the begging letters, thats how we found him. 

Celebs telling us who we should give our money to.

Make up yer fucking mind, I'm not a walking ATM.

 

Now yer taking the piss.

 Oh the guilt!

Ok we get it, you like to raise awareness for charities but do you 'really' know where the money goes to? We give aid to Africans only to feed the local warlords who take it..... Hey Oxfam how cum you yer CEO's get such big bonus' that kinda defeats the purpose. 

 

Oh yeah there is their business skill etc but should they earn so much?  Especially in a job that is based on charity, what would the giver on the street say if they knew their 50p went towards the CEO's yacht ? 

Charity begins at home, stop giving shit to foreigners and help yer own lot. The more you give to charity the less the government has to cough up, and they fucking well have it. Austerity my arse, lets cut hospitals and rest homes to save money.

The government should be providing MRI's and help for wounded veterans but why should they if a self serving charity will do it for them?  No need to have a children's hospital, I'm sure some charity will pay for it if we close it. 

 

The NHS has a campaign about mental health called Mind yer head it has a website but if you go to yer doctor you'll find there is fuck all help available, maybe some CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) for 6 weeks and then yer done. Aye to be told to go for a walk to get out of the house or to keep yerself busy by a disinterested therapist for 6 wks is a great help. 

 

If you need any further help they may refer you to a charity like the  WAVE Trauma Centre . Lovely people and for a £5 donation you can get a massage .... true story bro.     

We pay for the BBC and don't get what we want, we pay road tax on our vehicles and don't get pot-hole free roads so what makes you think you'll actually help the crying little gurl on the TV that some Christians want you to save? Jimmy Savile was a Christian ..... just saying. 

 

A line in the sand

I refuse to give through peer pressure, oh what a cunt you are for not giving, I shall burn holes in you with my eyes.

When Old Knudsen didn't give to a Religious charity the guy shouted after me, "God loves you anyway" go fuck off you guilt trip giving fucker.

If I do give to a charity it will be on my terms and not because society expects me to or that the Big Issue seller (who doesn't actually sell them cos who wants them?) steps into my path  or because wearing a poppy tells people what I think. Old Knudsen is sick of being run by misplaced guilt. The guilt should be on the government that doesn't provide the service. 

 

In foreign cuntries like India, travelers are advised not to give to child beggers in the street. Disabled beggers might have been disabled by a criminal gang and you are now giving them money so they might do some more harm to others.   

Following that rule then you shouldn't give to any charity cos who knows what goes on in the background?