Welcome To DUP Deal Or No Deal

The Tory/DUP coalition team up that is in no way a coalition as that wording might void The Good Friday Agreement is about more than just the £1 billion to build sun rooms onto the houses of DUP members. 

It would be a piss poor deal if all they got was a load of money as then that would mean they were just like Irish mercenaries that have fought in most battles throughout history ... no one wants to be Irish for fucks sake. 

More like a Unionist A-Team for hire.  

Other things the DUP got was a box of Jaffa cakes, Nigel Dodd got some more memory for his laptop and Arlene is getting a spa and beauty weekend at the Bannatyne Spa in beautiful Milton Keynes. Sir
Jeffrey Donaldson also in the picture above is content with the money and the lands the English call
East Anglia. It is not clear what Sammy Wilson (also pictured) got.

   Foster with Jonty her minister of British kulture. 

The DUP aren't stupid ya know, ach sure they may take the Bible literally and believe the world to be 6,000 years old and others may believe themselves to be part of the Levis, a lost tribe of Israel but they aren't fucken stupid.    

They got so much more in the agreement of doom. On the 12th July Theresa May is to make a speech in parliament declaring that there is 'NO POPE HERE' they tried to get her to do a "yeooohhhh" too but she refused as a PM has to maintain a level of dignity.    

She will be dressing in traditional British Pradestant Kulture Couture Klassy Kouture like wot the Queen wears when she gives her speech though. 

The Queen dressed down for her speech as one couldn't be arsed.

She will also be changing her name. Seriously Theresa Mary May???? can you get anymore Taigy? Her new name will be Bilomena July .... yeoohhh!!!!

 I fixed his face as parades are supposed to be happy occasions

Members of LOL the Loyal Orange Lodges are wondering why the DUP did not help their voter base more and negotiate marching through Catholic areas that has been denied to them.  Libtards and Taigtards have been chipping at British kulture for too long now.  

Why deny Catholic neighborhoods the joy of seeing loads of angry sour faced pot bellied sectarian patriots marching past their homes ? ... it doesn't make sense!  

For the English who have never had to think about Northern Ireland before this election: The 12th July holiday is a huge Protestant cosplay event to celebrate a battle in 1690 that none of them fought in that put a foreign immigrant onto the throne but most importantly it showed the Catholics who is boss.   

Hundreds of Loyalists dress up in costumes and march down roads playing horrible noisy angry music to scare the Catholics evil spirits away so there is a good harvest.    

The 11th July night or Purge Night is also very important as arson is a large part of Loyalist kulture. The family that drinks, fights and burns shit together stays together ... until social services gets involved that is. 

The DUP already have a version of Christian Sharia law in Northern Ireland so they hope to fix the mainland and the sinners there as well. To the DUP Great Britain (the mainland) is like Sodom and Gomorrah with everyone having abortions and ghey weddings ... shocking! 

Part of the deal means that Downing street has had to become more British. The DUP couldn't understand why there were loads of dark skinned people walking about and why lampposts didn't have flags on them, do they even know how to be British? 

MP's have complained that the constant drumming and flute playing going on outside number 10 distracts them from making cuts to police, the Intelligence community, first responders and to the NHS. One MP almost cleared the use of safe materials to be used on social housing, luckily that mistake was caught in time. 

They are sure they are being insulted by the constantly drunken bandsmen but since English people can't speak Irish they don't know what they are saying. 

One shaken up MP commented, "It was horrible, I asked if they could play Danny Boy and they started to yell at me in Gaelic or something I think they mistook me for someone else named Tim Facker, I tried telling them my name was Wilfred but that only enraged them more. A worried police officer pulled me inside and explained to me Irish etiquette such as never make eye contact and um don't call them Irish."     

Tim being a derogatory term for a Fenian fucker, don't worry Sassenachs you'll lern. 

MP's were also worried about the proximity the new Downing street bonfire was to buildings but no one will ask them to move it. Rather than confront them the 300 year-old buildings will have their windows boarded up and those inside asked to leave on the night that the fire gets lit ... like they do in Belfast. 

  

                                                                 They actually want this

As of the writing of this post the devolved government in Northern Ireland is not very evolved??? Not that evolution is real duh!  Why are there still monkeys?  .... yeah a fail in logic there Mister Darwin.

The Stormont Assembly isn't working at the minute because of a massive DUP scandal involving a heating scheme that they are getting away with which somehow became about the Irish language as 4 people in Northern Ireland are interested in speaking it or some such shite. 

So politicians in Northern Ireland have been getting paid not to politic for the past few months, nice non-work if you can get it. If Northern Ireland came to a stand still would anyone notice?   

The useless DUP and the equally useless Sinn Fein party can't agree on having tea or coffee but are expected to rule Northern Ireland fairly and properly. 

The Good Friday Agreement of 1998 which put them both into power hinges on good relations with Ireland and the British government not being in favor of one side more than the other. Yeah so Brexit and this not a coalition deal goes out of their way to fuck us over. The good news is that now we get to take the English, Scotch and Welsh with us.

Why Loyalism Will Be Destroyed

As expected there was trouble in Belfast this 12th July marching season. Whenever the Loyalist bands get told they can't march past Catholic homes yelling their insults and playing their tunes about killing Fenians or about the Irish famine they get angry and riot. Drinking all day in the sun doesn't help matters either.

The bands were also told they were not allowed to play sectarian music while walking past Catholic chapels, they have done this for numerous years and even go out of their way to do it. Of course some bands test the law and do as they please like they did this year ..... what a sucky attitude. 

She got lucky and her injuries are non life threatening. 

There was a riot and a girl was run over by an Orangeman who drove into the crowd. The story is that he panicked but we'll see. Why was he there in his car anyway?

Police and photographers have been injured by Loyalists throwing bottles and metal bolts and one PSNI officer was bitten on the hand and needed 12 stitches, no dog was mentioned so I'm assuming it was a rabid flegger. An Inspector also suffered from a severed ear.

Billy Hutchinson is a paramilitary pretending to be a politician. 

Old Knudsen has had his fair share of bonfires and parades, it's stupid and boring. I've been making supporters and enemies online by putting out opinions that need to be out there. The Loyalists online automatically class me as a Fenian, little do they know I'm a Unionist who has served Queen and cuntry .... unlike the majority of them. They don't make me angry because I'm all ready angry so comments about me sucking on my momma's nipples just wash over me.

I compliment the person on their insult that was cutting edge more than 10 years ago and mention how my dead mother was cremated so her nipples are not much good now. 

The Loyalists try to justify their actions by blaming everyone except themselves. An Orangeman drove his car into a crowd of Catholic residents, hitting 3 and driving on top of a young girl and yet that is the fault of the police.

If they say that there wouldn't be trouble if they had let them march then you could say that there wouldn't be trouble if they weren't total dicks or if there weren't any parades. The lack of cognitive complexity is astounding.

Loyalism is a dirty word and Loyalist now means and ignorant, poorly educated drunken lout. They may define themselves with flags and sectarian hatred but they are also defined by their actions and words.

The Orange Order and all their Loyalist minions do their cause more harm every time they fail to obey the law or when they erect Nazi and Confederate flags along side their paramilitary flags. They will get more and more sanctions put onto their parades and they will push back and blindly lash out thus causing more harm.

People are smiling, can't be Prods.

The sham fight at Scarva where some Orange Order groups do a reenactment of a fake fight between King William of Orange and King James is the direction in which Loyalism must go. It isn't serious and it's a celebration rather than a sour faced parade, we need more of that.
It needs to be more American 4th July celebration than a gloating trouble making hate fest. No one burns the Union flag on the 4th July and everyone is made to feel welcome.

The Republicans or Nationalists .... whatever you want to call them can see what the Loyalists are doing and if they can refrain from rioting, burning Orange Order halls and from behaving like Loyalists then they will win the long game.

Loyalists will destroy themselves by their actions especially as the older more respectable ones die off leaving the younger hot heads to take charge. Politicians and the police need to see this and they need to quit sniping at each other and at the Parades Commission and join forces to work for the will of the people, not the angry mob and their tantrums.

Leaders today must start working on their legacy and make compromises or Loyalism will be that thing that criminals did every summer. The current behaviour is not acceptable.

         

Happy Glorious 12th!

Orange mouth breather showing us he will march where ever he pleases.

Sunday being the UK's national hangover day has a double meaning today in Northern Ireland. Last night was locally and very creatively called the 11th night which is when the Protestant Loyalists (it's just a name they don't go to church and aren't loyal to anyone) set fire to large piles of wooden pallets adorned with Pope effigies and Irish flags because it's their culture. 

  A typical 11th night.

The 11th night has been compared to the Lord of the flies or the Purge movies. You get drunk, set shit on fire, attack the fire brigade when they try to save the surrounding houses from fire, goad the police into trying to arrest you (the police cry a lot and phone in sick for the 11th) and attack anyone who has pissed you off over the year or anyone you suspect of being a Fenian... Any empty building (Alliance party office) tends to look like a Fenian. 

Hangovers and having to walk miles in their good going out shoes probably adds to tensions and the amount of dirty looks given to the crowds. What family doesn't want to go and get stared down by angry blokes looking at them because they are taking photos .... ah parades are so much family fun.

Loyalists love to dress up in costumes.

The 12th July is to celebrate the victory of the dirty Dutchman William of Orange against the Catholic king James in 1690 which won William the throne of England. It's like a mean spirited 4th July or Cinco de Mayo because the Loyalists rub the present day Catholic's nose in the fact that they beat king James ... though they didn't actually do it themselves but the way they get on you'd think they had. 

Present day Loyalists don't join armies as that is dangerous. William of Orange hated Britain and only used it to raise money for his wars across Europe. Like Jesus he has become a heroic and just king with a good command of the English language.

 

Street fights aren't like in the movies.

Since 1690 the world has moved on but not for the Loyalists. Catholics have moved into homes that happen to be on parade routes, there isn't that many houses to choose from so it's not like they did it on purpose. 

Having loads of angry trouble makers walking past yer house shouting anti-Catholic remarks and playing tunes that mock the Irish Famine (Loyalists ancestors would have been Irish then too, doh!) isn't something that anyone should have to put up with. 

  Old Knudsen dislikes his flag being used by cunts as a gang colour.

Some of us didn't join paramilitary tribes so we could get beer bellies and dress up in pretend military costumes as we intimidate the odd Catholic straggler with our superior numbers. (Loyalists only attack in groups) The same can be said for those other pricks who joined the IRA for a united Ireland by blowing up and shooting civilian men, women and children ... how did that work out for you? 

Old Knudsen served in order to help Northern Ireland, he made himself and his family targets from both the Loyalist and Nationalist sides. He didn't dress up in a bright blue or red costume and marched in a band. Newsflash, the military don't think that highly of bandsmen, the same as they do of cooks in the army. Aye do yer job but you aren't really soldiers which is why in all the movies it's a big deal when the band or the cooks have to be armed .... you know they had to be desperate, "I haven't fired my rifle since boot camp."         

Raised on the Protestant side I never took to the brainwashing, "But why do we hate Catholics?"  .... "Because they are in the IRA" ..... "All of them?" ....... "Fuck up with yer questions, you don't want people thinking yer a Fenian lover."

Living in the Bible belt I never took to religion either. What has some Middle Eastern ex-Jew got in common with me or my life? You died for my sins? Well fuck you, no one asked you to.  Religion has sure fucked over Northern Ireland so I don't see much value in it. 

Then in my adulthood I met some Catholics and me granny was wrong, they didn't have tails.

Maybe it's the lack of cognitive complexity, Caveman say: um hate taigs, um god and Ulster, um no surrender.  They never stand by anything they say.

I learned that it doesn't matter what people are, it matters if they are cunts or not. Being a cunt to you or to others. I learned that you can vote for peace as we did in 1998 but if the people in power are corrupt then that vote and all those others who served to make this a better place did so in vain.  

I love the Queen!

I could put this post up every year. The pictures would look the same and the attitudes would certainly be the same. Bullies getting outraged when they can't march where they want to and everyone else just sick of their shit. 

 

Can White People Be Racist?

Are culture!

During the Twelfth of July celebrations in Belfast this year a parade spectator was stopped by a police officer from throwing his band stick around ..... or as Americans would say, twirling his baton. 

William Robinson the stick twirler replied: "You're a fucking racist, that's my culture."  if he was typing this himself he'd type, "your a fucking racist thats my kulture ... so it is."

 Enjoying some culture. 

I'm going out on a limb here and suggest that Mr Robinson was being a dick, to prove their manhood these baton twirlers throw them up 20 - 30 foot before catching them, no one came to watch him, the 12th is a celebration of Protestants being better than Catholics not some twat throwing a stick for his invisible dog to not fetch. 

Besides he was drunk and walking amongst others while doing it.  Police were worried he could hurt someone or be injured himself by a motorist as he retrieved the pole he no doubt often failed to catch.   

Now the racist thing. The people of Northern Ireland are not very worldly wise or educated, we pride ourselves on being small minded, it's a part of our charm. We may get a free school education but it's not a very good un and only poofs are smart an shit.

A manly baton twirler, mostly a female activity in the US.  

I'll continue with my assumptions based on experience. I bet Mr Robinson is white, I bet the police officer is white, I bet the only darkie for miles around was yon orangeman fella from America .... black as the ace of spades he was. Maybe also the odd lost and hapless tourist wandering around getting durty looks from everyone. "Honey I thought you said Ireland was friendly." 

A definition of racism.

The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

Like black people are lazy, have huge cocks and are natural athletes. 

White people are bigoted assholes who can't dance but make grand wizards ... get it? ach never mind. 

Chinese people (that means all Asians since they all look the same) have small cocks and work in restaurants and know kung-fu. 

Telling someone to 'stop being a dick and stop throwing yer stick around' is not racist, especially when said by someone from the same race as you. 

Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior. 

What is it, a race of police officers? you do know that religion or having a job isn't a race right? The only superiority here is that the police officer can carry a gun, tell you what to do and that they were probably sober.

Genocide is another word people bandy about incorrectly, as is rape .... well in my experience .        

The stick twirler was charged with public disorder, and ordered to pay £250. I hope you enjoyed yer 12th ya cracker rednecked fucker.

Flashpoint What A Feeling

Experts in Northern Ireland have discovered links between parades going through areas in which they are not welcome and civil unrest.

When asked to comment on this a DUP spokesperson said "If it wasn't for those meddling taigs we could do what we want."

On a side note there was no trouble at the Belfast ghey pride parade at the weekend and people were actually smiling and laughing as you would normally do during parades.

A Marching Season Wish

On the happy occasion of sectarian celebration in Northern Ireland Old Knudsen wonders, why can't the pedos and the blowhards just get along?

No Surrender, Just Power Sharing With Terrorists

How stupid do you have to be to ride a white horse *into battle*? just wear a sign saying "I'm the leader please kill me."

Its the glorious 12th July in Northern Ireland, this is our version of the 4th July to an Ulsterman but with more drinking and violence.

To show respect for any Fenian cocksuckers (Catholics) reading this I shall not gloat or even mention William of Orange and his triumphant over the evil King James II.

Nor shall I mention the battle, which took place in 1690, that is the most important landmark in the history of Northern Ireland, signifying the triumph of Protestantism over Roman Catholicism which in historic reality was only about power rather than religion but what stirs people to violence better than religion huh?

Every year there is always some kind of trouble with the Protestant Orange lodges marching through Catholic areas as they have done for 100 years before the hooses were built, they use words like 'Tradition' and say "It's difficult not to offend those who have a determination to be offended," and how its their right to march on the Queen's highway even though the Queen's law says to re-route the parades.

Some years things do go peacefully.......... ish, you'll always get 4 story bonfires and drunken fights and people using the time to settle grudges but that's Northern Ireland for you.

For all the years that Americans have supported the Catholic terrorists by sending them money and guns to kill my people I do find it ironic that they are in the same position in Iraq as the British in Ulster, wanted by some but not by others, religious factions killing whoever and the coalition seen as an invading oppressing force instead as a peace keeping army for freedom, I call Iraq Northern Ireland on Steroids.

Heres to that Dutch prick King William and may Iraq finally find relative peace after 30 odd years too.

*I'm sure it was all safe before he went near the battlefield*

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Belfast Parades

William Bigot from the 633 Boyne heroes pauses to laugh at some babies crying. You can see on his sash it says LOL, some think it stands for Loyalist Orange Lodge but really its, Laugh Out Loud because that's what we Prods like to do, HAHAHAHA! How cum when I carry a sword and go about laughing someone calls the peelers?

The parade was peaceful enough, during the night a couple of Orange halls were vandalised and buses carrying bandsmen had their widows put in but in all it was ok just a few Catholics who don't like getting their noses rubbed in a defeat or protestant parades walking past their hooses tried to spoil it, c'mon people whats wrong with you?

On a wet July day in Belfast the parades carried on as usual, wait who is that on the left reading his pornagraphic magazine? yes its yers truely Old Knudsen the Blog lion. Ka-Chow!