DUP Shaming

Woeful incompetence or fraudulent actions .... maybe a bit of both. DUP Politician Nelson McCauseland needs to resign, as does many of his fellow DUP members. McCauseland claimed that contractors working for the Northern Ireland Housing Executive were overpaid £18m, these firms were 'named and shamed' in the Assembly (political assembly, not school, but similar) but then it turned out that the figure of £18m had been pulled out of McCauseland's arse, much like the Ulster/Scots language he promotes and gets EU money for, ach yer ma nan weet na coom buket .... Your mother is a cum bucket.  

Some firms agreed to pay £670,000 to the Executive while one firm was actually owed money. This thing called accounting isn't exact ya know, it relies on the moon and the stars ... assuming that the world is only 6,000 years-old that is as we had fewer stars back then and a sun was 3 score and 5 which is elevenity sleven.

 

Health minister Edwin Poots tried to ban gheys from donating blood, the thing is that we'd get sent blood from England if we needed it and they don't have any such discriminatory ban which makes it stupid for us to have one, but still he kept trying ..... He is also fighting to stop ghey couples from adopting and uses public funds to pursue his will (as inspired by the Bible) through the courts.   

Ian Paisley jr is just retarded or something. Remember when he stood up at Westminster with a sheet of facts and figures about how countries that have same sex marriage now have more divorce? ... aye that took some of the politicians by surprise and the laugh they had, then the speaker of the hoose slowly and carefully explained causality and effect to him as she would to a child. 

Did you know that countries where Justin Bieber has toured have had a sharp increase in suicide? Well actually that one does make sense.   

Peter Robinson the leader of the DUP is a spineless racist cunt. When asked about Muslims he said that he wouldn't take spiritual advice from them but would trust them to go to the shops for him ... He didn't see anything wrong with saying that which explains why it took him a week to apologise and even then he just did it because someone said it was the right thing to do, I bet he still doesn't know why it was an inappropriate thing to say.

When the racist residents of East Belfast tried to stop a black family moving into a house in their area calling for Homes 4 Locals he said, well I do see their point .... great leadership.

Hey Peter! Loyalists just petrol bombed the home of a Romanian family ..... well I'm sure they had a good reason.

DUP Voters Need Brain Transplants STAT!

Northern Ireland health minister Edwin Poots is being blasted in the local media .... again. This time it's not for his bigotry against turd burglars or for his usual level of incompetence.

Ok I lied it is for his usual level of incompetence. Poots promoted getting people to make living organ donations but started stalling new bills about consent after death.  Should the NHS just presume there is consent to harvest organs if the dead have no sign of an opt out ?

Wales will have the presumed consent going through in 2015 but Poots wants more consultation on it, meanwhile 15 people a year die in Northern Ireland waiting for transplants.

Fuck em, no alcoholic is getting my liver but if this is what you are into then fine. I think they should make clones, use prisoners or grow parts of people to keep up with demand but thats just me.

Saying one thing and doing another is standard DUP tactics, maybe he wants to make sure that straight Christian people don't get a homosexual organ put into them without their consent, aye like they would mind.  #Orangorderprisonghey.
Maybe Mr Poots has a friend who needs money and wants to hire them as a consultant. Not as if that doesn't happen all the time.

Either shit or get off the pot Mr Poots, yer playing with people's lives here. Emergency wards close all the time, there is a shortage of doctors and the waiting times for healthcare have doubled since we had direct rule from London, aye yer doing well.

The Philippines always have a ton of new doctors to hire, they don't mind working for crappy NHS wages if you help with their immigration, we have Filipino nurses in the NHS but won't hire doctors.

The nurses are usually better trained and work harder than most UK doctors but the wrong color I suppose.

I'm sick of people saying how Poots has to go, aye put Nelson McCauseland or another bigoted cunt in his job. NO! we need to stop concentrating on the DUP arsewipes and instead...

Tell the morons who vote them in to wise up.

How stupid and full of hate do you have to be to vote DUP?  If you vote DUP then you are telling the world what a backwards hillbilly you are proud to be.
If you vote DUP then you aren't as open minded as you pretend to be and certainly not someone to trust.
You vote DUP out of bigoted fear, you fear of what the alternative is and so you stick to yer own kind of people.

This is how Hitler got into power, because of wank stains like you.

Hey DUPers, imagine voting for a party that promotes equality and education for all, no matter what religion you were raised around or what gender you prefer to shag..... aye a little too opened minded for you.

If you vote DUP you are saying that the Flegging Loyalists are right and Catholics and weemen need to remain as second class citizens.
The men who vote DUP are self righteous mammy's boys who use the bible and the way things have always been as a way to be/appear superior, they really don't like change as equality shows them to be not as special as their mammy said they were.

Weemen who vote DUP know their place, if their husband gives them the odd slap and orders them to behave like this, don't talk to these people and get in yon kitchen and make a sandwich then they are stupid enough to think they don't deserve to be treated any better.

Men and weemen are people, you need to treat them as people and not as Protestant, Catholic, black, white, male, female, young or old.

If they are idiots and offensive then they have opted out of being people and need to be treated as a fucktard.

Stupid people offend Old Knudsen as they keep things in the past just as much as the thick necked paramilitaries do.  Don't be stupid, think about yer actions and yer words, it's not them and us so stop acting like a scared paranoid pussy .... it's just us, all of us.

       

     

If In Doubt Just Don't

This is a public information post from the DUP

Due to our recent success at getting a play that mocked Christianity for the amusement of Atheists and Satanists banned we would like to bring something else of importance to the public. 

We of the DUP ..... the ruling party of Northern Ireland have also decided that nakedness and sexual intercourse is now banned on Sundays. 

While we understand that this may be difficult should you want to bathe on a Sunday we request your compliance in this matter. Your body is sinful and seeing you flaunt your sin makes the Lord and Santa cry tears of empty hopelessness.

No sexual intercourse is to be tolerated on the Lord's day either. Tis a day of rest intended for people to go to church in a clean and civilised manner not writhe about in the animalistic throes of beast like copulation.
If you are Pentecostal and intercourse is an integral part of your service then write to the DUP asking for a Sunday fornication license.

Profanity is to be limited on Sundays too, no saying c**t (unless Pentecostal then see above for details) and certainly no use of the word f**k, we can't do it so we certainly can't say it.

The only times the F-word can be used on a Sunday is when it is used in conjunction with the following.

Communicating with Taigs or Slavs

Encouraging your children to go to church

Supporting an athlete or sports team  

Suggesting your wife tends to your sandwich needs

       Discussing human rights with police officers

Socialising in the pub after church

Attending a civil rights protest

We are a Christian nation and would not want to show ourselves to be anything else for if we do then Satan and his Irish minions win. 

You are not your brothers keeper but a concerned eye on your neighbours and their obedience with these guidelines from above would be appreciated. If you have concerns about anyone then please contact your local UVF or Orange Order representative, sometimes they are one and the same. 

Please enjoy your Sundays responsibly. 

Spoof Play No Way

I have been trying to tell ya this for years but oh no, you know better.  The DUP banning a spoof play The Bible The Complete Word of God (abridged) because they have decided it's offensive and blasphemous .... takes you back to the field with Rhianna doesn't it?

 

Put some clothes on, Gog made Adam and Eve fully clothed.

 

The rest of the world barely hears anything or knows anything about Northern Ireland because it's sooo tiny and insignificant but they do hear about this kind of shit.




The Protestant Caleb Foundation or Caliban as it has been called are the enemy of Northern Ireland, as are their other religious sister groups, all full of DUP Presbyterians and Creationists who want to rule as Old testament Gog intended.
When the Protestant leaders of Ulster can't agree on anything else with the Catholic leaders except that abortion is wrong cos the Bible hints in that direction then you know we are a backwards Gog fearing, superstitious, why can we not marry siblings, paranoid, drunken, uneducated arse wipe of a province run by bigoted idiots from the 19th century. 

If you can't have comedy and satire but sectarian rhetoric is fine then you know that we are not a free cuntry. To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.