Campaign for ruling the world in a vague way
I have the botox and the hand gestures. I am a man of the people. I will wipe and sanitize my hands after shaking and I don't kiss babies.
Those crazy bastards love me, Muslims are a type of Wiccan and keep burning stuff for their gods , the amount of pictures of me those gibberish speaking cunts have burned means I am well loved.
I know how to talk to the wog after having spent many a year serving the queen (Victoria that is) defending her Empire I go into the local Indian restaurant , whipping into submission anyone who eyeballs me and then I demand, " Hey Garsong a plate of chicken Jihad and some Fatwah bread, chop chop." They respect a strong hand I know I then have their vote.
Of course I'm big on law and order, is it right that Prison guards get paid more than teachers? did the song say that the silly bint believed that criminals or children were our future? that's yer choice right now!
First time offenders of non-violent petty victimless crimes will serve out their sentences, second time offenders and all other inmates will be executed in an environmentally friendly way such as hanging or beheading and it will be shown on pay per-view all proceeds after tax going to children's charities, you do like children don't you? the bodies will be used in beauty and animal food products.
Visit my information tent and have Debbie and Mary show you all.
The money from the doon sized prisons will go into schools , hospitals and job training , healthcare for all, yes I'll be a socialist, no not like Hitler like Churchill - ish.
All automobiles will be adjusted so they can't go any faster than 40 miles per hour so 80% of traffic police will be reassigned to real police jobs.
The world will be made to speak English so we all sound normal and civilised , Christian rock/pop, death metal, heavy metal, bluegrass, techno, banjo, cuntpop in fact all music except bagpipe, panpipes and yodeling will be outlawed.
No more "Indie" anything except injuns, in films all tough New York and LA cops and firemen will have Scottish sounding names and not Irish.
An international watershed (local time zone) for sex and violence on television only after 9pm .
John is itching to help you vote.
At the age of 16 an IQ test will be administered, telling the time on a chronological clock, tying yer shoe laces and counting out change will be on it. If the test is failed then 3 years in the military shall sort them out into valuable members of society who can kill for their country and work at a skilled trade.
The third world: if we ignore it will it go away? I think it will.
The wars of terror, anything we don't understand must be killed that's common sense.
Why you would want to spend 2 hours with her I don't know.
I promise to bring you more of this
I promise to follow weemen in the street to take pictures of their arses.
I have the botox and the hand gestures. I am a man of the people. I will wipe and sanitize my hands after shaking and I don't kiss babies.Old Knudsen sometimes feels he not getting some of the desperately needed attention he craves in order to keep him a half decent human being, you know my father never hugged me as a child, oh plenty of the old men around the village did but never my father, the cunt! so anyway I am now running for office to get my face out there and rule the lives of billions. Not sure what I'm running for but being a big believer in Destiny so I'm sure I'll know soon.
Destiny is a stripper I know that reads the tea leaves , shes keeping an eye out for me, usually she just screams and refuses to tell me my future but after she found out I gave her the clap she can't wait to read my tea leaves, what a strange gurl.
I'm used to doing military campaigns in the middle east now I'm doing political, I think I'm getting somewhere. Muslims are spreading across the world faster than the bloody Irish I've been handing out leaflets with a photoshopped Muhammad supporting my cause, it really gets those ragheads jumpings, I don't know what a Fatwah is but I'm on it yay! maybe its like Blogs of note but only interesting.
I'm used to doing military campaigns in the middle east now I'm doing political, I think I'm getting somewhere. Muslims are spreading across the world faster than the bloody Irish I've been handing out leaflets with a photoshopped Muhammad supporting my cause, it really gets those ragheads jumpings, I don't know what a Fatwah is but I'm on it yay! maybe its like Blogs of note but only interesting.
Those crazy bastards love me, Muslims are a type of Wiccan and keep burning stuff for their gods , the amount of pictures of me those gibberish speaking cunts have burned means I am well loved.I know how to talk to the wog after having spent many a year serving the queen (Victoria that is) defending her Empire I go into the local Indian restaurant , whipping into submission anyone who eyeballs me and then I demand, " Hey Garsong a plate of chicken Jihad and some Fatwah bread, chop chop." They respect a strong hand I know I then have their vote.
Of course I'm big on law and order, is it right that Prison guards get paid more than teachers? did the song say that the silly bint believed that criminals or children were our future? that's yer choice right now!
First time offenders of non-violent petty victimless crimes will serve out their sentences, second time offenders and all other inmates will be executed in an environmentally friendly way such as hanging or beheading and it will be shown on pay per-view all proceeds after tax going to children's charities, you do like children don't you? the bodies will be used in beauty and animal food products.
Visit my information tent and have Debbie and Mary show you all.The money from the doon sized prisons will go into schools , hospitals and job training , healthcare for all, yes I'll be a socialist, no not like Hitler like Churchill - ish.
All automobiles will be adjusted so they can't go any faster than 40 miles per hour so 80% of traffic police will be reassigned to real police jobs.
The world will be made to speak English so we all sound normal and civilised , Christian rock/pop, death metal, heavy metal, bluegrass, techno, banjo, cuntpop in fact all music except bagpipe, panpipes and yodeling will be outlawed.
No more "Indie" anything except injuns, in films all tough New York and LA cops and firemen will have Scottish sounding names and not Irish.
An international watershed (local time zone) for sex and violence on television only after 9pm .
John is itching to help you vote.At the age of 16 an IQ test will be administered, telling the time on a chronological clock, tying yer shoe laces and counting out change will be on it. If the test is failed then 3 years in the military shall sort them out into valuable members of society who can kill for their country and work at a skilled trade.
The third world: if we ignore it will it go away? I think it will.
The wars of terror, anything we don't understand must be killed that's common sense.
Its true I was against going to war as it made no sense and I didn't believe the data but now when its not trendy I say kill every sand savage in sight, at least I'm honest about it.
Why you would want to spend 2 hours with her I don't know.Now don't get me wrong I'm not 100% stuck on any of these issues though I will go ahead and do them if I get into absolute power.
I promise to bring you more of this
If I perceive that any of these topics are touchy and unpopular I will back track and do what the people want me to. I will lie, cheat, fornicate,murder and steal so you the people don't have to.
I promise to follow weemen in the street to take pictures of their arses.
A vote for me is a vote for something or other.
30 comments:
a great platform i think. what is your stand on the gheys sir?
You're standing on my head, Marky.
Wouldn't 5 minutes be enough with Tania for most blokes?
And fix your iloveoldknudsen.com link, dammit.
marky I would make all the sexes marry, bum bandits would be hunted doon and put into the navy or visa versa, shirt lifters must have rock hard abs, fudge packers must give free samples, and poo pirates will walk the plank and taste the tip of me cutlass.
MJ 5 mins? how many times is that then? my voters must send me money for my link to work.
Not much to entice women to vote, where are the naked men pictures, or better still a naked Knudsen photo?
ellie - am i not nekkid enouff for ye? nekkid, not ghey.
mj - looks more like you're trying to give me your head hun. i'm fine with it, not ghey.
is backdoor sex by men with willing women allowed? that last pic of the girl in the tight jeans made me think of that. not that i would ever try it but this pic may have corrupted me.
ellie I thought weemen were into schools ,healthcare and shite like that.
marky if yer going to say yer not ghey you had better change yer profile as it says construction, anal sex with weemen is totally fine, the fenians have made it trendy.
ellie I changed my post and now I'm counting on the weemen's vote.
About bloody time Knudsen, what took you so long? This country is crying out for decent leadership.
The Lib Dems are the obvious outfit to use as your springboard to power as- they happen to be looking for a new leader. Your electoral platform of wholesale executions and large tits might need to be tweaked slightly though. You're coming across as a mixture of Pol Pot and Hugh Hefner.
Oh, you'll have to become a trouser pilot too; don't worry, jumping too low in the leap frog doesn't hurt as much as you might think. In fact . . .
you won't ban yodelling?
well, i shall have to reconsider my vote...
I'll vote fer ya!
Finally, I can waste my vote on something that is entirely, nothing. Or something.
Woot?
At last a candidate worth voting for with policies close to the street beat. One thing missing though, topless (and bottomless) checkout gurls in Tesco. I wud definately advise you to make Ellie yer campaign manager though, she's hotter than a biriyani! (is that spelled right?)
can the yanx vote for ya as well? if so, sign me up!!
And make Tracy Emmin yer minister fer booze an' art. Or art n' booze. Or summat along those lines onyways.
Aaah, feck! These word verification things are gettin' too complicated fer me eyes. How about a swear verification box instead?
i borrowed the ass pic and put it on my blog with a little survey about a suitable mate for Keith Richards...there's a life expectancy chart for Keith on there too.
i don't know any construction guys who are ghey. we are manly men. we whistle and hoot at all female passers by. we are not hairdressers Old K!
Your a pleaser. Got my vote.
Ron Knee ...
biriyani will make your ring sting, I won't ... see Marky for that ;)
Ellie: I still love ya regardless.
No, I've never seen the Simpsons. Is that funny or weird? Whatever. Only had women in my life. Not for the ghey stuff, never crossed my mind. Besides, Construction isn't exactly accurate. There's no listing for my actual kind of work on here. I am terrible with building things.
ellie - you look like an irish girl i had for awhile. she was good in bed but a little off in the head. I hope you're not her. she had a bad temper.
They don't have categories for slave traders or spies its quite annoying.
yer gettin warm Old K!! start thinkin california style my old seaman.
A mountain boy, A surfer boy or a skater boy I'm no good at these games yer probably a pimp.
nah nah nah....don't get cranky...i was in MI once, not now, I won't give more hints....too many hackers around.
Is it me or something? I tend to attract you buggers or spooks or whatnots, I tell ya I'm out, unless its good money of course, I've got blackwater coming out of me arse which in RV circles thats what blackwater means, I actually think that about 4 of you lot are the same person that statue of david sure gets around.
and what a nice arse it is.
Kate: Yeah, if you like liver spots.
mj yer fired.
Post a Comment