Monday, 26 November 2007

Its A Whacky World

Raymond King the 67 year old Belfast man who was one of 154 people on board the M/S Explorer when it struck an iceberg in the Antarctic on Friday can't wait to get back to the safety of Northern Ireland.
Remember the blind man with the guide dog from Northern Ireland who escaped the Twin Towers on 9/11? fuck they get everywhere, I'm not saying they are jinxes but just watch them ok?


Aaron Dallas could hear and feel things in his head and thought he was going nuts, it seems he had about five botfly maggots growing in his head after a trip to Belize this summer. His wife thought he had something on his mind.

A woman who has been eating her hair for five years, had a 4.5 kg hairball removed from her stomach, she used to say she was retaining water but in reality it was soft bouncy silky hair, she was discharged from hospital and sent to a shrink.

An Indonesian man has been nicknamed "Tree Man",because he has tree like growths growing out of his body after a cut he got on his knee as a teenager and it became infected. He was sacked from his job, his wife left him and he was shunned by his neighbours but you should see the wood he sports.

The 35-year-old can't work because hes lazy and is a bit creepy with a thorny personality , he cannot use his hands and lives in poverty with his two teenage daughters.
He hopes that US Doctors can help his condition, (good luck on getting health insurance stick boy) he spends his days whittling small animals onto the feet.
His dream is to live a normal life and put doon roots somewhere nice.

Donna Campbell became suspicious of her husband when he kept turning the TV off and disconnecting the telephone. It seems him and his mates at work won 5 million on the lottery and he didn't want his wife to find out.
Being a sneaky woman she googled her husband and found him to be among the winners.
She confronted her husband with the words: "Do you have any news you want to share with me?" and is now suing him for her share.
I would have said, to her, "pack yer bags I've won the lottery." Take that what ever way you want to.

8 comments:

The Mistress said...

Does Tree Man have a woodpecker?

ellie said...

Would you trust a boat nmed by Bill Gates?

FirstNations said...

i need to know where you found the picture of the indonesian man. i can diagnose and treat that illness. I can return him to a productive and happy life.




no i can't. i just like pictures about skin diseases.

Old Knudsen said...

MJ when he wanks he starts a fire just before he shoots his sap.

ellie I trust Bill Gates, hes rich.

firstnations you should see my genital warts, I'll send you ent's link.

M@ said...

I have a masters degree and I live in Washington, DC, the capitol of the Empire of the United States of Earth... and I currently lack health insurance. I wish him the best.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

My cousin lied!!

He said maggots couldn't get into your brain after he'd pinned me down and tried to stick one in my ear.

Bastard!

Old Knudsen said...

matt get yerself a rare and disgusting illness and they'll see you for free for as long as you entertain them.

sam problem-child-bride thats as good as an excuse as I've heard, "the maggots made me do it."

Anonymous said...

Have these people not seen titanic? Ice fields bad.

The tree man is just plain scary and I'm amazed he's not been flown to the US and exploited on some tv special.

I love the way women think they are entitled to their "share" when it comes to money in a relationship. Actually theres thursdays topic.