Another Thing I Didn't Win, Fuck Being Nominated.

A certain spice rack loving guitar playing gobshite will no doubt complain about me doing a Hollywood post so here is a Goth to placate him.

I prepared myself for the Oscars to be shite as the choice of films and actors was shite but then they started to hand out awards and it went from shite to severe diarrhea that turned to water.
That Ellen bird made me sigh and say "I miss Billy Crystal" she even made Chris Rock's attempt last year look good. Its all that Hollywood liberal mindset, if Johnny black fella and a woman can host the Oscars then they can be president.
I had them playing the race card for the supporting actors as Hollywood likes to be friends with the black man but if you got a wide view of the audience you'd see nothing but a sea of white faces but showing Will Smith his wife and the odd Jap every five minutes demonstrated their diversity.
Forest Whitaker is a ugly fucking fat cunt but a fine actor, but to get the Oscar for Idi Amin it just goes to show you how crap the choice was and makes you wonder how much influence my Amin post had on the academy voting, hey I did get rid of Donald Rumsfeld don't forget that one.
Jennifer Hudson robbed Cate Blanchett for best supporting actress. Hudson played a low class black singer with a lot of ethnic attitude, hardly a stretch of acting ability I want to see this newbie play a ghey cowboy. Just like Adrian Brody, I'll always see him as a world war II Jew.

Best actress was a no brainer, if you didn't give it to the Queen the British troops in Iraq would say, "not our fight mate we're off" . Helen Mirren was looking rather good I thought and you could tell from her speech she really got into the role of Elizabeth Windsor as a person and not the figurehead/caricature that most see her as, I might want to see this one, wanking material if nothing , like getting yer gurlfriend to dress as a freedom maid (the French are cunts) I like them to dress like the Queen or Freddy Krueger both with long fingernails.

I had Martin Scorsese as a cert and when Clint got a lot of stage time and the 3 older directors came out to present the award I knew his time had cum but the best picture surprised me, I supposed they gave him that too so it didn't look too much like a pity Oscar.

Leonardo DiCaprio or as Al Gore calls him 'head boy' could he get any further up Gore's hole? oh Global warming this and that, we love you Al you're among friends here. I was going to go to a Global warming meeting but it was called off due to the heavy snow fall.
Leo has a Hybrid car but not a hybrid jet and I bet he flies more than he drives, then again Brad Pitt also has a hybrid car parked beside his 2 SUVs .

I believe that children are our future.

So Al Gore got an Oscar for best documentary, shows you what great actors Yank politicians are, if one more person burst into tears (men at that) at the mention of Global warming I was going to boak, go look at the starving babies in yer own cuntry and around the world who are dying now while you eat yer 50 dollar steak and cry about something that may or may not happen in 100 years, oh no we're going to have nice weather in Siberia, did it ever occur to you that the Siberians are well pleased at this prospect? start buying frozen tundra now while its cheap cos soon its going to be premo real estate.

The highlight of the show was the song about Comedians never getting Oscars for funny films as sung by Will Farrell , Jack Black and John C. Reilly . Will Farrell should be the next host for the Oscars as he is actually funny.
Someone prattled on about the Oscars being so international now , all I noticed was I couldn't understand a fucking thing the foreigners were saying. I turned all US redneck and shouted at the TV about how if they are going to take an American Oscar then they should learn how to speak English, yeah yeah they are just making the films the Yanks don't want to make and only getting 3 dollars a hour to do so.

Respect goes to the Screenwriter of The Departed who won and when his name was called he ambled slowly onto the stage looked a little dazed and confused and said "Valium works", no shit my friend, Tom Hanks was well amused.