To remind everyone what cunts the French are only two slappers like Britany and Paris can be named after places and parts of France.
For the ladies that are into dudes you have the choice of David Hasselhoff for yer romantic penetration.Remember the film Seven when the killer cut off a vain woman's nose and superglued a phone in one hand to call for help and in the other a bottle of pills so she could overdose? she chose to die because she thought she was all that.
Here is my dilemma for you victims, you have to choose one or both of the lovely ladies or that bloke above, STDs and all to have sex with or I'll feed you alive into a wood chipper while playing the greatest hits of the Pet Shop Boys and reading out aloud my blog posts.
A Paris Hilton fan story.
In an airport I think, a young 16 year old gurl spotted Paris and ran up to her and gushed, "I'm yer biggest fan, I have yer picture all over my walls and on my desktop and I even have yer song as a ring tone on my phone" and grabs for the phone.
Paris looking bored said "I don't care" and walked off.
The teen shouted after here, "well I'm taking you off my phone".
I suspect Paris didn't care.
Some more crap
When you talk to weemen you find out a lot of strange stuff like when they are having a shit they will do a courtesy flush as soon as the fudge comes out so they or anyone else doesn't smell it. I thought having a sniff of yer own stuff was part of the fun. What do people expect to go on in a place where shit is dumped?
I'm the guy that goes into shops around Christmas time and activates the whole shelf of dancing and singing Santas while the cashiers who have been listening to that while they have been non-stop busy all week pause to give me the stink eye.
So many toys have buttons that say 'try me' or 'push here' and I do, my favourites are the singing fish and the dancing singing hamsters, I can and have stood and played them for hours, I'm weak to the power of suggestion........ heres where you tell me to fuck off.
So I'm searching the net for horny pictures. I click on a site that might have one but no its an article about how hot some bird is and the worse thing is they don't even post a picture, boy does that piss me off.
Are any of my readers attracted to the people above and if so who? maybe my standards are getting higher since meeting the Gobbling Granny.
Here is my dilemma for you victims, you have to choose one or both of the lovely ladies or that bloke above, STDs and all to have sex with or I'll feed you alive into a wood chipper while playing the greatest hits of the Pet Shop Boys and reading out aloud my blog posts.
A Paris Hilton fan story.
In an airport I think, a young 16 year old gurl spotted Paris and ran up to her and gushed, "I'm yer biggest fan, I have yer picture all over my walls and on my desktop and I even have yer song as a ring tone on my phone" and grabs for the phone.
Paris looking bored said "I don't care" and walked off.
The teen shouted after here, "well I'm taking you off my phone".
I suspect Paris didn't care.
Some more crap
When you talk to weemen you find out a lot of strange stuff like when they are having a shit they will do a courtesy flush as soon as the fudge comes out so they or anyone else doesn't smell it. I thought having a sniff of yer own stuff was part of the fun. What do people expect to go on in a place where shit is dumped?
I'm the guy that goes into shops around Christmas time and activates the whole shelf of dancing and singing Santas while the cashiers who have been listening to that while they have been non-stop busy all week pause to give me the stink eye.
So many toys have buttons that say 'try me' or 'push here' and I do, my favourites are the singing fish and the dancing singing hamsters, I can and have stood and played them for hours, I'm weak to the power of suggestion........ heres where you tell me to fuck off.
So I'm searching the net for horny pictures. I click on a site that might have one but no its an article about how hot some bird is and the worse thing is they don't even post a picture, boy does that piss me off.
Are any of my readers attracted to the people above and if so who? maybe my standards are getting higher since meeting the Gobbling Granny.
8 comments:
You can for get David Hasselhoff I'll take the wood chipper but between Btitney and Paris "I drive all night just to get".....between them and throw in Kylie Minogue- she sounds French enough for me.
Kylie is different, she has talent and class but the other two I just don't get it.
I'll take the Hof every time!
Will you read your blog aloud to me yet spare my life?
dive you're a sick man and I find that very sexy.
MJ I fear you may have something like hi-jackers syndrome and actually believe this blog is good for you.
Soren dear, I'd choose the Hoff without his kit on and I'd chip away at his wood. What a fine specimen of a man.
I am the benchmark by which femininity is defined. The lads on this blog should sit up and listen to your wise words and experience.
You have just codemned him to death, you should only have eye for me.
If I could type screeching I would. David Hasselhoff? What?
WHAT?
Lead me to the chipper. I'll go quietly.
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