Jesus Found In A Happy Meal Box

A box that may hold the bones of Jesus H Christ, I say get Jim Caviezel and do some DNA testing.

Filmmakers and scholars unveiled two stone ossuaries (I looked it up a depository for the bones of the dead)they said could have contained the remains of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, but several other scholars derided claims in a new documentary as unfounded and contradictory to basic Christian beliefs so there.
What a nicer box to be stuck in and you get a toy too.

"The Lost Tomb of Jesus," produced by James Cameron Director of such movies as Aliens, The Terminator ,Titanic ,The Abyss, Rambo all their sequels and the TV series Dark Angel , says that 10 ancient ossuaries discovered in a suburb of Jerusalem in 1980 may have contained the bones of Jesus and his family. Being a film maker he should know about this stuff. He was also married to linda Hamilton and for the record we here at Old Bitter Balls have unanimously voted her to be a minger.

Linda Hamilton also played the beast in the TV series Beauty and the beast. A minger's best chance of stardom is marrying a famous director.

One of the caskets bears the title, "Judah, son of Jesus," hinting that Jesus may have had a son, according to the film. The very fact that Jesus had an ossuary would contradict the Christian belief that he was resurrected and ascended to heaven, a church spokesman put his fingers in his ears and said " nah nah nah I can't hear you but you're still talking nah nah nah nah nah".

Every year several boxes are found and are said to be a bargain bucket of Jesus and are dismissed as fakes, this one had the name Jesus scraped on the side, so what? it was a very common name and after he died I'm sure it became more common as the Britanys and Justins of today.
There is no proof of Jesus ever having lived and that's where Christianity gets all messed up, you don't see people searching for the bones of Buddha or Odin so these single minded people will see what they want to see. It really does bend my shite that they refer to the story of Jesus as history and everything else is mythology, shame on you History Channel you cunts, next they'll say the earth is only 5,000 years old.

Remember a few years back they found in the Holy lands some big jugs around the place where Jesus did his party piece with the water to wine? they declared this must be the place. So let me get this right, time stood still in that place after the wedding like a snapshot in time just waiting to be discovered, oh c'mon, I know religion and commonsense are mortal enemies but powerful important people think like this and that is spooky.

"Holy big jugs batman".

Jesus is real, I know because we have all created him man creates God not the other way round, he comes round to my hoose all the time and tells me about all the fallen weemen he saves. I've heard of men using cute babies to pick up weemen and using lines like "do you like chicken?" and if she says yes "good cos my cock is fowl" but using the son of God angle, " my father never really loved me, he never hugged me or saved me from getting crucified". Jesus is a playa, no more scandals and nappies, he wears nike and Calvin Klein, the peace loving hippy phase ended badly for him .
God has been in prison for numerous years for crimes against humanity which is why so many convicts find him there.

This documentary is just out to score some outrage so it makes money and it will work, Protestants love to complain about anything that isn't what they say it is, combine stubbornness with lack of imagination and you have the scary Free Presbyterians who will no doubt hold placards outside any theater showing the documentary without having seen it, just as the Fenians did with the Da Vinci code.
So anyway why did his whole body ascend to heaven? I think we've been told a load of lies, oh don't worry yer soul goes to heaven, maybe the body carrying machine broke after he went up. I'll ask him next time he comes round.

What a ghey man hoor may look like, what a waste.

What about that preacher Ted Haggard who denounced gheys and same sex marriage all the time banging a 17 year old former male prostitute in speed fueled sex fests ? the manhoor recognised him on TV. The evangelist who used to have weekly meetings with George Bush then admitted it all and his wife got the blame for not being sexually available, that fucking bitch, how dare she not be a drugged up young lad that has sex for money.
Haggard spent a 3 weeks in counseling and is now back to being heterosexual. This has nothing to do with the Jesus in the box trick, just pointing out the hypocrisy and stupidity of some Christians. I must point out I'm only a Free Presbyterian because Ian Paisley is and he is my idol . I'm also signed up with several other cults to cover my spiritual bases though several have asked me not to cum back that Tom Cruise fucker has it in for me after my posts about him, he needs a good auditing if you ask me.