Not wishing to scare anyone but we are soooooo going to die. Well I wished for it and here it is an Asteroid is going to strike the Earth on 13th April.
Our one best hope is the UN, so people we are royally fucked, we're all going to die.
Its actually has a 1 in 45,000 of a chance of hitting us and depending on the angle and speed may just take out one of the Earth's capitol cities or a region, as we know from the movies its always a city with well known landmarks, and as we also know the debris will block the sun and boy does Global warming sound good during a Ice fucking age.
The nerds er I mean scientists have named the Asteroid Apophis after the Egyptian God who really kicked ass in Stargate, they were going to name it Buffy because she kicks high but then the show got canceled.
So anyway back to the death and destruction, mankind came along, fucked the planet all up, totally enabled by weemankind so I'm not to sorry to see us go, its not the end of the world just the human parasites that invest it, nature always has a plan.
Rusty Schweickart who spends alot of time wandering around and watching the skies, he always carries big rocks incase he has to twat any aliens that want to probe him, "they never use lube" he says shaking his head, " I don't care what planet you cum from, there is always time for lube, its interglactic manners".
Former US astronaut Rusty Schweickart which sounds really painful says we should upgrade our Asteroid monitoring systems as there are probably thousands out there waiting to kill us, yeah hes a proper ray of sunshine, this guy was an astronaut in 1969, that was the year Monty python aired its first episode on the BBC, John lennon went solo the My Lai massacre in Vietnam, Ted Kennedy killed campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne and the
Reverend Ian Paisley, Protestant leader in Northern Ireland, is jailed for 3 months for illegal assembly and refused to take it up the ass in the showers, "NO! I'm a giver not a taker" he proclaimed, it makes me proud to be bitter.
So what the fuck does rusty dick know? he has some half arsed idea involving a space ship that fires out gravity to deflect asteroids, I'm sure a 460 foot long rock would be so easy to deflect, Rusty also says "live long and prosper" a lot too.
This is not a Rusty Schweickart its a syphilitic ulcer and the least of yer worries, see what happens when you wear Calvin Kleins? I took this picture while I was doing my rounds at the local hospital Mr Johnson didn't mind.
This plan would only cost 300 million, so hes not so nuts after all, the 13th of April is not too far away so tell yer boss to fuck off and shag the hoor next door who gives a fuck what you catch, oh and did I mention it was in 2036 so mark it on yer calendars.
Our one best hope is the UN, so people we are royally fucked, we're all going to die.
Its actually has a 1 in 45,000 of a chance of hitting us and depending on the angle and speed may just take out one of the Earth's capitol cities or a region, as we know from the movies its always a city with well known landmarks, and as we also know the debris will block the sun and boy does Global warming sound good during a Ice fucking age.
The nerds er I mean scientists have named the Asteroid Apophis after the Egyptian God who really kicked ass in Stargate, they were going to name it Buffy because she kicks high but then the show got canceled.
So anyway back to the death and destruction, mankind came along, fucked the planet all up, totally enabled by weemankind so I'm not to sorry to see us go, its not the end of the world just the human parasites that invest it, nature always has a plan.
Rusty Schweickart who spends alot of time wandering around and watching the skies, he always carries big rocks incase he has to twat any aliens that want to probe him, "they never use lube" he says shaking his head, " I don't care what planet you cum from, there is always time for lube, its interglactic manners".Former US astronaut Rusty Schweickart which sounds really painful says we should upgrade our Asteroid monitoring systems as there are probably thousands out there waiting to kill us, yeah hes a proper ray of sunshine, this guy was an astronaut in 1969, that was the year Monty python aired its first episode on the BBC, John lennon went solo the My Lai massacre in Vietnam, Ted Kennedy killed campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne and the
Reverend Ian Paisley, Protestant leader in Northern Ireland, is jailed for 3 months for illegal assembly and refused to take it up the ass in the showers, "NO! I'm a giver not a taker" he proclaimed, it makes me proud to be bitter.
So what the fuck does rusty dick know? he has some half arsed idea involving a space ship that fires out gravity to deflect asteroids, I'm sure a 460 foot long rock would be so easy to deflect, Rusty also says "live long and prosper" a lot too.
This is not a Rusty Schweickart its a syphilitic ulcer and the least of yer worries, see what happens when you wear Calvin Kleins? I took this picture while I was doing my rounds at the local hospital Mr Johnson didn't mind.This plan would only cost 300 million, so hes not so nuts after all, the 13th of April is not too far away so tell yer boss to fuck off and shag the hoor next door who gives a fuck what you catch, oh and did I mention it was in 2036 so mark it on yer calendars.
18 comments:
I think we should concentrate on the problems at hand - the bloke in the picture has at least one that I can see - and, just like a syphillitic willy, man-made evironmental disaster might seem horrendous and unfixable but we should at least try, shouldn't we?
If climate change caused mysterious new fungal blooms on the moister parts of our government representatives, or China's or whomever isn't taking it seriously then you know we'd be all over this. It's not personal, painful or inconvenient for people to act yet, but it will be soon and then we'll be looking for some global salve to soothe the burning sensations.
1 in 45,000 chance of hitting the earth? you stand a better chance of winning a tenner on the national lottery!
Syphilis and an asteroid.
Hmmmm.
Can't help with the first one, as for the second, anyone got Bruce Willis's number, he always seems to know what to do in these situations.
Actually asteroid movies scare the shit out of me, and now i'm doubly dubious especially if the UN is involved.
Having read some of the autobiographies of forensic anthropolgists who've worked for the UN on mass grave exhumation - lovely bedtime reading, no wonder i'm so messed up - they all say that the UN is highly disorganised.
If they can't get their act together getting people out of the ground what hope do they have of stopping or averting something like an asteroid crashing into the ground?
Hugs Old K. xoxox
2036? Let the silly fuckers die. That lovely Tony Robbins came to the hospice today for our weekly goal setting session. I'm quite determined to be the world's oldest woman but Flo's putting in some tough competition. Even on maximum training, that asteroid won't be bothering me where I'll be.
How lovely to see Mr Johnson again. He always got quite a teasing for being a redhead.
I wonder which city is gonna buy it? That winkie needs help.
Ah the Rose of Saigon. Pop along to nurse she'll fix you up.
Oh, Jesus, I was really getting into that post till that picture came along. Can someone please tell me how the post ended?
Hint: when the asteroid smashes into the planet and a giant tsunami rushes towards you at twice the speed of sound, remember to run in slow motion and you'll escape easily. I use this technique all the time when escaping from fireballs.
Sam problem-child-bride
You're suggesting we can't trust those in charge of the world? ye Gods now I'm scared.
Mr Frobisher I'll always been pretty good at winning a tenner but thats as far as I get.
kate isis if they could do anything they would be called the DO and not UN.
gobbling granny tony robbins told me I had the power to make my life better, he was right I robbed his hoose while he was out, he had some good stuff.
pickled olives Paris is always a popular choice, I told MR Johnson to put a cold T-bag on it, maybe it helped I don't know I'm not a Doctor, I just play one.
DH rose of saigon huh? I'm sure they got it from french sailors at some time, it started from sheep shagging you know and they invented that.
Mr Eater as all my posts end, very badly.
Mr the robber you shit yerself before you run I take it hence the speed.
That's what happens when you go commando.
OK, now I know I need to live while I can and stay away from guys who let things come between them and their Calvins.
Will there be mass mating?
The guy w/the syphilitic ulcer has about the same chance, of getting laid as the asteroid hitting us. I only came here for the pictures. Thanks, this is just like reading a medical version of "Playgirl," magazine
Remove the glove if you want some love.
matt commando? you do have to be careful sneaking up behind germans this is true.
You weemen will be glad to hear that Old Knudsen's Kenny isn't as bad as that picture so cum and get it.
well at least you've cum clean and told us all about your condition. I hope you practice safe sex
"1969, that was the year Monty python aired its first episode on the BBC, John lennon went solo the My Lai massacre in Vietnam"
Ah, I believe that was the year my tee-totaller mother experienced the Mai Tai Massacre, which resulted in me.
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