A Wee Bit Of A Ramble.

This post starts off with a masterpiece by Picasso, bet ya can't guess where it finishes.

In Paris France (for all you Texans) two Pablo Picasso paintings were stolen from the home of Picasso's grand daughter , there was no sign of a forced entry which seems very odd and these paintings are thought to be valued at over 60 million pounds. One was named Maya and the other Jacqueline who was his wife at the time, as you can see from the picture above Jacqueline was pig ugly. I don't like Picasso much and you'd have to be a right mong to pay that much for his paintings, some may consider it fine art but just because someone says it is doesn't mean I'm going to accept it, as the saying goes and as the Americans who didn't like the way the last two elections went, " do not mistake majority for truth".
In lieu of a real post today with facts and clever information I thought I'd just waffle on for a bit and mention whatever cums to mind.
Many years ago I worked on a goat farm in France, it was long hours from 5 am to about 8 pm whenever the work was done, we the common workers were not paid much but got room and board, though food wise there was a distinct lack of meat in our diet no doubt to save money. I love meat and this was very distressing for me. I even dreamed about meat, there were two pigs on the farm and whenever I saw them it was like in the cartoons, I'd see pork chops or rashers running around, very fast creatures are pigs and just as apt to biting you as a dog is, I've heard that pigs are as smart as dogs but then again I've never been too impressed with the intelligence level of dogs, nor Dolphins nor many people cum to think of it. Cows, goats or the cats that were around the farm I didn't see as food just the pigs, I still salivate now when I see a pig.
The farm was when I met my first Slav a Romanian, he'd always have his finger up his nose and would scan yer room as he talked to you to see what you had. I didn't like him much when the farmer wanted rid of her 12 rabbits he volunteered to club them to death and she let him.


I told you my Blog wasn't safe for work (NSFW)

Recently on my Blog I made it to the long list for the Irish Blog awards. I didn't know I was had got that far until someone complained that I didn't tell them I was in it. I voted for The Swearing Lady and Kav then promptly forgot about the awards. I'll pay more attention next year and have better posts in it I promise, you see as long as you have an Irish connection you can enter, my mother was from Ulster and I lived there for many years so I had the right, when the Scottish awards cum I'll be a jock and if there are any Danish awards then a Viking we will go.

Since starting this Blog my bitterness has lessened and I've accepted my Irish blood more readily though I will still provoke the Bog Trotting cunts, how do you confuse an Irishman ? you give him two shovels and tell him to take his pick.
I was put on the 'U Dream Of Janie' wall of honour for services to Blogging and every time someone tells me how much they enjoyed a post or my Blog its as good as winning a prize,well ok maybe not. I still didn't get on Blogs of note despite all the votes but that's because they are too scared to put me onto it, only boring safe Blogs allowed, thankyou to all those who have ever voted for me for anything or have said something nice, those who did neither can crawl away and die painfully.

I put in various bits of information into the computer and asked it to show me an image of what my average reader looks like and this is what I got. I was pleasantly surprised, you're damn fine looking people.

I've been getting loads of new readers/commenters and lots of compliments which is weird as I haven't liked my own work as of late. I've got so many cool Blogs to read now and a limited amount of time to read them and then I feel guilty when after 3 days of someone not posting I miss the day in which they post and comment late.
Some may complain that I post too much and you miss commenting. I post when I want too if you have something to say go for it, I don't always have something to say when I read someone's post but might a week later. I'm a fucking free spirit man.

The book I'm reading at the moment is 'The Lusitania' which was a British passenger ship sunk by a German U-boat in 1915, well over 100 yanks died and it was hoped America would get into the first world war but no they still weren't angry enough to do so even though it wasn't the first time US civilian ships were targeted . It was when Woodrow Wilson the then US president in his naivety allowed the German diplomats in his country to have free access to wireless communications and was mightily embarrassed when the British told him about the coded messages to Mexico as Germany had been trying to organise them into a war against the US.
Britain had held on to the information until they thought Wilson couldn't take anymore before presenting it to him.
I got the book from that place that gives out the free books, the library I think its called ah well it saves me money and I can sell the books later.

The bite sized lemur raping a stuffed animal.

At Blair Drummond Safari Park near Stirling (Scotland) a week old Lemur that was rejected by its mother is being hand feed by staff and given the name Gollum, c'mon people don't ya read me at all? those fucking bastarding lemurs have you all fooled. Gollum was evil as are lemurs, people thought Hitler was cute and look how he turned out.

Speaking of evil, Cybez over on the Bog Standard Blog started up a web ring for Northern Ireland Bloggers. I checked my pedigree and found I fitted the requirements so nestled between the Blogs on politics and breast feeding is my offering as an ambassador for Northern Ireland culture. I was recently described as the 20 major of Northern Ireland, high praise indeed and something I will not bother me arse to try to live up to.


Is this 20 Major? I don't know, they all look alike, anyway about being a cultural ambassador.

I'm sure I'll do as much for NI tourism as The Swearing Lady has done for the ROI, though in 2006 NI was in the top 10 for tourist destinations, they are finally catching on to the Titanic link as well as numerous famous people like George Best , CS Lewis and Jonathon Swift cuming from the North. That cunt Andrew Jackson's parents came from there, theres even a centre dedicated to them, of course thanks to the Americans and their ideas on how to make friends around the world there are not that many places left that don't kill Yanks on sight.


That's enough stream of consciousness writing for me, it scares some folks. I have posts ready and waiting in my drafts but the artist in me demands I go with my instinct, besides 6 posts all about sphincter bleaching should really be spread out, no bum er pun intended. I can imagine some gurl at a modeling agency, " I got the boob job and the nose job, I got an eating disorder and lost 10 Lbs, I work out more than Madonna and I'm a total shallow bitch so why won't you hire me?" camp middle aged English photographer who is not really ghey and gets model pussy thrown at him constantly says, " lovey your sphincter is too dark it needs to be bleached."
and on that note I'm done.

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month and no returns.