I don't believe that the children are our future, I think of them as a pack of lazy lay a bouts that may become a source of food in the future.
Its up to great thinkers like Old Knudsen to cum up with a plan to save the world..... again, what you don't remember the attack from the Uranians? them and their sneaky spaceships from Uranus came in from behind Earth and attacked by shooting insanity rays at the Earth with the hope of us self destructing. If it wasn't for the tin foil under me cap I might have gone crazy too, lucky the severed head in my fridge told me to wear it.
It was only the sanity and commonsense to be found on this Blog that caused the rays to turn back on the Ukrainians, Iranians no I mean the Uranians and drove them insane and to open all the windows on their rocket ships thus dying.
They tried to get me with their spies but I was able to kill several Ukrainians, no I mean Uranians , you know I'm old and I get confused by thick accents so I killed and asked questions later.
Anyway Kilamory is short a few migrant workers and panhandlers so I don't think it turned out all too bad, however I may need some fall guys/weemen and alibis so feel free to step up, yes I'm sure all the weemen will want to claim to the police that I spent all night in their beds making wild passionate dirty messy love, can't blame you bragging rights and all perhaps a book deal to tell all, yes Mr Frobisher you too can claim it .
I was lying in bed the other night fondling myself to sleep and then I thought about Al Gore, one thing lead to another and I solved Global warning.
The Earth is 70% water right? and what do you do to cool doon a drink? you put ice cubes into it, fuck I'm brilliant and none of that sciencey stuff involved.
Never trust a scientist or a Thetan, did you know that Tom Cruise wants to produce a movie about the Thetan aliens of Scientology? I'm sure that will be really interesting :::yawn::::
Getting back to my brain fart er I mean wave. large floating ice making machines at the mouths of all the rivers , run by hydroelectricity of course, or coal whatevers handiest. Thousands of them dispensing foot long ice cubes into the ocean's currents. the seas cool doon the air cools doon and finally we might get some snow, can any of yous remember what snow looks like? for fucks sake its been so long, "DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARNING", to be honest I'm not sure I believe its that serious a problem, over population is, but my mass extermination plans as a means to save the environment always get me investigated by the Peelers.
Its up to great thinkers like Old Knudsen to cum up with a plan to save the world..... again, what you don't remember the attack from the Uranians? them and their sneaky spaceships from Uranus came in from behind Earth and attacked by shooting insanity rays at the Earth with the hope of us self destructing. If it wasn't for the tin foil under me cap I might have gone crazy too, lucky the severed head in my fridge told me to wear it.
It was only the sanity and commonsense to be found on this Blog that caused the rays to turn back on the Ukrainians, Iranians no I mean the Uranians and drove them insane and to open all the windows on their rocket ships thus dying.
They tried to get me with their spies but I was able to kill several Ukrainians, no I mean Uranians , you know I'm old and I get confused by thick accents so I killed and asked questions later.
Anyway Kilamory is short a few migrant workers and panhandlers so I don't think it turned out all too bad, however I may need some fall guys/weemen and alibis so feel free to step up, yes I'm sure all the weemen will want to claim to the police that I spent all night in their beds making wild passionate dirty messy love, can't blame you bragging rights and all perhaps a book deal to tell all, yes Mr Frobisher you too can claim it .
I was lying in bed the other night fondling myself to sleep and then I thought about Al Gore, one thing lead to another and I solved Global warning.
The Earth is 70% water right? and what do you do to cool doon a drink? you put ice cubes into it, fuck I'm brilliant and none of that sciencey stuff involved.
Never trust a scientist or a Thetan, did you know that Tom Cruise wants to produce a movie about the Thetan aliens of Scientology? I'm sure that will be really interesting :::yawn::::
Getting back to my brain fart er I mean wave. large floating ice making machines at the mouths of all the rivers , run by hydroelectricity of course, or coal whatevers handiest. Thousands of them dispensing foot long ice cubes into the ocean's currents. the seas cool doon the air cools doon and finally we might get some snow, can any of yous remember what snow looks like? for fucks sake its been so long, "DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARNING", to be honest I'm not sure I believe its that serious a problem, over population is, but my mass extermination plans as a means to save the environment always get me investigated by the Peelers.
Throw Ice cube into the sea as well, couldn't hurt, well it would hurt him but I'm not caring so much.Now I have to contact Richard Branson who has put up 25 million dollars for anyone to make a machine to stop global warming , 25 mil isn't that much considering what a dollar gets you these days and they only give you 5 mil up front and the rest after 10 successful years , lucky I have me pensions and if I drain the blood out of enough runaways and proper sacrifices etc I should last 10 more years, the dollar had better be worth something then.
In about 15 or 20 years with the aid of make up Matt Damon will be able to play me in the story of my life, not a movie for all the family to see, no wait if young children can be taken to see the Passion of Christ to make them better Christians then they can see me banging Helen Mirren and getting head from Judi Dench, they might learn a thing or two, I just hope Matt can get my climax face right.
19 comments:
I'll pay to watch you snog Tony.
I,m Free!
That Tony's a cheap tart.
Ice Cube is maybe just a cold arsed black or maybe he is just cool enough - to send him up north-to slow down global warming.
tony being Polish is just sooo cool you can't blame them.
MJ how much money are we talking about?
paddy what was that film he did? "are we there yet?" hes not that cool but I say send him anyway.
Knudsen, your mind is a rare and wonderful thing. It sparkles darkly like black diamonds. Let me tell me how happy I am you're mining them for us in this blog.
Sam is not wrong. Posts like this make me want to quit although despite it's brilliance, you are still a right cunt and always will be.
Sam you're so kind at least you didn't compare my mind to mucking out horses or something like that.
Eddie did you get my e-mail with 25 reasons for you to quit? you're correct I am a cunt.
Can we throw Tom Cruise into the ocean instead? I rather like Ice Cube.
I had this Monty Python computer game a few years back, and the way you won was to type "Uranus." Perhaps that's how you save the world, too?
I hope he can get the right face too. I'd hate to miss it on the big screen.
I wouldn't pay too much attention to global warming - I'd concentrate of making it to this year's winter fuel allowance!
(PS. of course you can have an alibi from me)
lambent so the Great fire wall of China is rubbish, I am disapointed.
sassy sundry theres nothing funny about Uranus.
pickled Olives there is always another way for you to see the face.
Mr Frobisher spooning to keep warm sounds like an alibi to me.
Ohhhh, too bad. I already won. The answer is 42. Sorry.
Why is a fly like the USS Enterprise, Mr Knudsen?
Both circle around Uranus looking for Klingons.
Sounds like The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy!
And, pound for pound, Britain's got to be the toughest, I'd think.
adjil 42 you say, that may be possible but not worth 25 mil.
Mr eater what are they space flies or something? you've gone mad and its about time, watch you don't disappear up yer own black hole.
Matt Yes indeed Ford Prefect its the North of Britain thats the toughest, we eat babies and shit nuts and bolts, yes the diet is terrible hence the high rate of heart attacks.
Actually the $25 mil is peanuts - The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy grossed $104,478,416 worldwide, and thats just the film!
... 42, of course, being the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything...
(oh here I go with my over-splaining)
I watched the BBC series many years ago and read the book, I don't like the look of the film.
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