Friday 16 March 2007

Happy St Patrick's Day Niggas.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.

When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!

Have you heard about the Irish boomerang?
It doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.

A man is walking down the streets of Belfast late one night when another man jumps out of the shadows holding a machine gun and asks: "Are you Catholic or Protestant?" The first man responds "Neither I'm Jewish." In a hail of gun fire he falls dead.
The second man starts to walk away and thinks to himself, I'm the luckiest damn Arab in Ireland.

Interestingly, the first St. Patrick's Day parade took place not in Ireland, but in the Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through on March 17, 1762 .

I've been giving the Mucksavages a pretty hard time this week, if any took offense about it my words to you would be "joke you if you can't take a fuck", no one is safe from a slagging on this Blog including myself, mongs, jews , blacks, cock jockeys ,yellows or greens I really don't give a fuck, part of my charm I reckon.
Here is the climatic end to the week running up to St Patrick's day where Old Knudsen will get totally shit - faced. I will be so drunk by the end of this day I may attempt either time travel or flying again, who knows? well enjoy yer day, its Saturday and Paddy's day two good reasons to hit the bottle and if ya don't drink then maybe ya should ya boring old shite.

I've probably posted loads by now, read it or not I don't care I only do this fucking Blog as part of my community service and remember people flinging yer feces in a fast food restaurant isn't big and it isn't clever so think before you fling.

7 comments:

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I'm off to a Paddy party myself tomorrow, but if just one person asks me if I'd like a drop o' the craythur in a valley accent, craic or no craic, I'll be forced to exit the premises at speed. Not just any person but one person in particular who, in the most appalling displays of conversation hijacking I've ever seen, forces me to stand around and talk about th'ould country whenever the subject of Ireland comes up (she's 1/4 Irish but identifies with it really strongly or something)

I'm not even fookin Irish! but that's not the point. The point is for her to tell me how Irish she is and all about her views on the IRA which are ignorant and romantic to a degree that could make me a murdress, a leprechauness-slaughtering murdress. I'll give her fooken shilleleighs! I'll show her some fooken Celtic tiger! But of course she'd love the stereotype of that so I'll just have to be icilly British and incapable of being riled instead. It will be harder to do but it might make her go and bother someone else with an accent.

Old Knudsen said...

Its funny how Yanks can identify with the Emerald isle so much but not be able to tell a Scottish from an Irish accent, how would they like to be called Canadian all the time?

The Mistress said...

Take off, eh?

ellie said...

I'm a Prod and proud to be Irish! I'm a mother but I dont like kids that much. So shoot me! HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY, wear the green and sink the brown, tomorrow you might be dead. x

tony said...

ah, flings arnt what they used to be........(sighs)

Old Knudsen said...

ellie you've summed up the unbitter Ulster way. Work hard, play hard and try to avoid the bombs HA!

Old Knudsen said...

And I thought Paisley did that.