Monster Of The Week.

I was feeling a little bored today so I got on the bus and headed into town. I like to watch people and observe life in order to get inspiration for my on-line lies. Some of you may know that I have in the past worked for the CIA and if it wasn't for that dopey shite Dan Quayle blowing my cover I would still be drawing a paycheck. Did you know that Bush Sr wanted me to assassinate the fucker on many an occasion? they were like father and son so I don't think he meant it, he was always saying to George Jr, "why can't you be more like Danny?" and George would start crying and promised he would try, a strange family. The weemen in the family all seem to be alcoholic nymphos so I always had to wash me parts when I visited.
Its true, you never leave the CIA, my speciality was wet works and disinformation and yes I practice both on a regular basis, though thanks to adult nappies I can live a normal life with the wet works.

Ever hear of Snopes.com? that's a CIA run web site to infiltrate the psyche of the people and to get some of the more outlandish CIA schemes dismissed as bollocks.
The last time I was on the Interweb years back I was trying to get people in Britain to put doon Jedi as a religion onto a cenus form. I told them that if enough people do it then it becomes a religion, its amazing how many people believed and still do today, another was about the kid that died on a hospital operating table because someone used their cell phone outside in the hall, funny stuff.

I've had loads of good ones that include, black helicopters, men in black and black men all having big willies, before you ask yes the Moon landing was real its just we were warned off going back by the aliens that live on the Moon.
Bluffs and double bluffs its mostly the Yanks that believe anything you tell them its all a matter of conditioning, get them fat and complacent with all the aggression and sense bred out of them and when the alien overlords land they can be offered up as an act of appeasement , operation 'fat cow' started in the UK 20 years and should be on track with the states within 5 years.

I was walking doon Calder street and I saw this new Polish restaurant that had just opened. Me being open to new cultures and new ways went inside to take a look. I must say I felt a little over dressed as the staff only wore tight red short shorts. In the corner I saw a familiar face, it was none other than Tony the pole vaulter from Bench. He was surrounded by four big boned weemen with hairy upper lips they were laughing and playing around all the while snapping photos of each other, that Tony is a real playa. Tony knew I was there, he could sense my manly presence as most of the rest of the room were round shouldered Slavs but he never made eye contact, not to worry I get that a lot. The Ill man crosses the road to avoid me when he sees me.
I think many people have a problem with my legend actually being legendary in real life or it might be the smell of piss, I don't mind it so why should they?

I didn't know what to eat so I settled for Polish Sausage as seen in the top picture which was not bad.
I got talking to this Yank woman named loretta Swit who acted as 'Hot Lips' in the TV show 'Mash' she was of Polish descent and was able to tell me about the various dog dishes on the menu, she said she was actually the inspiration for Miss Piggy, that may have been one of her lines but I believed her. It was a fun day, Tony and his weemen had to be told several times to kept the noise doon and to keep certain body parts out of the food.

I ended up banging Hot Lips over a wheelie bin in the back passage way, she gave me her number but I don't think so, terrible smell of piss from her.