Monday, 19 March 2007

The New James Bond Sucks

On Werthers Originals.



The New Bond film is out on DVD and if you look at the credits you'll see that some of it was filmed on location right here in Kilamory . I hung around the set unnoticed because I can blend in with the world of Hollywood and you may see me in the film if you look closely. I not only waved at the camera but I also mouthed the words, "hello mum".
One on the secrets of the shoot was that Daniel Craig sucked Werthers Originals in order to achieve that blue steel expression on his face. During a fight scene he accidentally took a hit and spat out the sweet and I got it. I will be selling it on e-bay, I expect to get thousands for it as you can also see the face of Jesus on it.
Now thats what I call acting, suck it Daniel suck it.

I was also able to hide in the attic space of the hoose Daniel was staying in, as you can see he has all his working parts and likes his bath water cold. A word of advice Danny boy, a courtesy flush may be in order for the massive dungies you take, and light a match or something.

20 comments:

ellie said...

Forget the sweet, get the rest of the photos on Ebay asap.

Old Knudsen said...

he stuffs his swimming trunks ya know and has a real hairy arse, but still an interesting idea of selling the pictures, if only I was of such low character, do I hear any offers?

Eddie Waring said...

Is he bathing in Dettol?

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Daniel Craig is the housewife's choice.

Oh yes.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Oh yes, indeed.

But Meester Bahnd, you are so dirty, no? Look at zee baswatter! Tell me, how did you come to be so very dirty? Tell me, and then tell me again, and again and again...

Oh, Jems!

Old Knudsen said...

Maybe hes so dirty cos he only washes in two cupfulls of water.

Frobisher said...

Those Werthers Originals are made in Germany! I refuse to suck them!

Now on to Daniel Craig . . .

Momentary Madness said...

Jesus Mary and Joseph...I mean the jesus face on it...that should be worth a mint a....yes, well!
I'll keep an eye out for you on the screen.

Fat Sparrow said...

Was that a drought year? Was water rationing going on? There doesn't seem to be enough water there to wash his willy. Yuck.

Anonymous said...

I watched it myself this past weekend and all I could think of is that Hollywood has made James Bond a METROSEXUAL... how sad.. what is the world coming too...
he really shouldn't be showing off his dangling participle... it isn't noteworthy.

Old Knudsen said...

METROSEXUAL

Its a sign of the times, I remember when Sean Connery would shag a gurl and then slap her around without the use of products.

I think its sad I've been keeping the German ecomony going all these years by buying those sweets.

tony said...

well at least you can tell what ol' Danny Boy is saying.I could never understand what Sean Connory was saying half the time.God knows what he must have been sucking in his gob.

Sassy Sundry said...

I thought he was hot.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

He's distraught, people. He's received a troublesome letter and cares nought for the bathwater. He might have started with a full bath but just let the water evaporate around him in his sorrow over lost love. Or maybe the plug came out.

Despite a little pruning from prolonged immersion in bathwater he looks like a perfectly fine specimen of a man to me.

Foot Eater said...

He looks like he's dead. Can anyone spot the one piece of evidence that says he isn't?

Anonymous said...

I think hes breathing! If I stare and stare and stare I am sure he moves!!!

Lee said...

Mmmmmmm....Daniel Craig. Even with the dangly bits. How do you all stand it?

Fat Sparrow said...

Footie said -- "He looks like he's dead. Can anyone spot the one piece of evidence that says he isn't?

If only. That would explain the yuckiness of the bath water, though.

Old Knudsen said...

dangly bits? thats what happens when you don't groom yer arse hairs and get tag nuts.

Rob7534 said...

That bath water aint yucky, you should see mine after a long day in the office!

On a side note, I love how films are more apt to show the penis. After years of the tyranny of the vagina!