Thursday 4 January 2007

Does This Robot Arm Make Me Look Fat?

I've had this post knocking about my drafts for a while now, its an amazing story and while I'm on the subject of limbs I thought I would post it, my other post was full of naked weemen which I found just too tasteless to post, I mean who wants to see that? so heres this one instead.

I don't know if you have heard about this guy or not but not only is he amazing but the technology attached to him is too.
In 2001 Jesse Sullivan a former electrical company lineman from Dayton Tennessee took two massive jolts of electricity in an accident and since then has had the ability to read minds, no wait I'm confusing fantasy and reality again, damn those painkillers.
No, Mr Sullivan burned his arms so badly that they had to be amputated at the shoulders, the poor man can't remember the accident and only remembers the depression afterwards, thinking his life was done.
Seven weeks later a Dr Todd Kuiken from the rehabilitation institute of Chicago had him fitted with a thought controlled bionic left arm, they in a sense rewired the man, they grafted the pects in his chest to the nerves in his shoulders and his brain now thinks it has hands again and can move them.
I was watching this guy on some late night techie convention thing where they were up on stage explaining the whole thing to other doctors and the media, some soppy woman asked Mr Sullivan if his wife ever touched his chest so it would feel like they were holding hands, Mr Sullivan looked at her as if that had never occurred to him and replied, "no" I'm sure because he knows what his wife's hand now has to wipe lines of intimacy have been well crossed, no more cutesy stuff.
Dr Kuiken had a funny story at how Mr Sullivan broke several of the bolts on his new arm trying to start up a petrol powered lawn mower, well he wouldn't had thought it so funny if it was him paying for to have it fixed.
Mr Sullivan's right arm is a conventional prosthesis that can just open and close it's hand, his bionic left arm now has attachments for a leaf blower, angle grinder and a nose and ear hair trimmer, the research team are now working on a way to make the bionicman na na na na na na sound when he bends iron bars.

Thankgod he can still hold a pint there is a reason to go on.


At the age of 59 Mr Sullivan hopes to be an example to amputee soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan to show them that there is a chance at a more normal life. The man is an example to us all, I doff my cap to you sir.

An inspirational story for my 300th post, if you're old, fat and ugly gurn up, at least you probably still have yer arms, if you don't well um sorry but on the off chance of you being an old ,fat ,ugly armless person you are one unlucky shite, hey it could be worse, if we were on a boat I'd throw you overboard for being a jinx.

17 comments:

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Amazing information there, Old K, on an amazing man. Incredible what they can do these days, huh. Thank God he can use these arms to follow some semblance of the life he once had, now. He could even join you for 12 pints! And i would waft by (no beer thanks), leaving an enticing scent of Chanel. Underlayed with Lux of course.

Scout said...

Interesting choice of attachments they have chosen, or I wonder if Mr. Sullivan was the one who chose them--the leaf blower and nose hair trimmer. He didn't think to ask for a skillet or a vacuum cleaner?

This is a great story, and I'm glad you have spread it around. Fascinating world.

Sassy Sundry said...

That was inspirational. I've heard about that guy. I hope I never lose my arms, but it's nice to know I'll still be able to drink if I do.

dive said...

That's pretty damned cool!
Okay; I'll be the first peurile dork to wonder just how good masturbation is for him now (and if indeed he was really "starting up the lawnmower" when he broke his bolts) …

Yaay! Starting up the lawnmower! I think we have a new euphemism!

BEAST said...

Oi I am old fat and ugly , I will be spending the evening wiring meself into the dyson ....then you have had it , I am comin after you....you will be horrified to discover what I can do with me turbo brush

tony said...

Great Stuff To Inspire.And,Yes, A Lot of Squaddies Face This Sort Of Future.....we remember the dead ,but we should also remember the other losses and sacrifices made..........

Anonymous said...

How truly touching, literally. What next?

Old Knudsen said...

lynn I suspect you are stalking me, if so i am ashamed of some of the blogs I comment on but I am weak.

robyn hes married why would he want a hoover or a pan on his arm? you're just not making sense, any chance of a sandwich and a cup of tea?

sassy sundry see? there is always a way to get drink human ingenuity at its finest .

dive ah ya dirty shite speaking of which I'm inventing a seat with like a tampon attached so disabled people can scoot along it and wipe their arses.

Mr beast keep yer knob out of the hoover, you know it doesn't work.

tony governments have a habit of just forgetting about those wounded during wars, its disgusting.

babsbitchin next will be my final post then I'm quitting blogging, nah only kidding but really you should know better than to ask, mostly because I don't know.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Yes that's it, Old K, stalking you, yep. Enticed by the scent of your flooded bed amidst lux. Such an original combination. Your comment to Robyn made me laugh, though officially i deplore it of course. Lots of jokes along those lines; why don't you buy your woman a watch? Because there's one on the oven. etc...

Old Knudsen said...

I blame myself of course as I have been on yer blog several times without commenting and you must of caught me and thus fell in love, I get that alot, sexist, racist not me, I'll side with them though just to chip away at their stupidity, its my tactic for a better world or I'm just a shit stirrer, either way it makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

Less of a problem for multi-limbed creatures to loose the odd one. Mutants generally have numerous spare limbs, also some do regenerate lost body parts - such as tails. By the way I have always loved you. Just thought I should say so now as you seem to be on your last legs.

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

aahh bring on the naked weemen like you mentioned.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

lol yes i sensed you were there Old K though you restrained your comments. You must have sent love vibes. I tell you, with my post of today, people will talk, Old K! Brace yourself. They're onto us.

The Dog of Freetown said...

Will you stop stealth educating me please.

Oh, and post about Pandas again and I'll cut yer.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

lol beast - oh sorry, is laughing not ok? eek

Sassy Sundry said...

Still alive, then?

Old Knudsen said...

mutleythe dog I still have one leg to kick yer arse with, oh and I love you too.

rich don't encourage me you know it only works.

Mr beast that sounds familiar, did I meet you in prison?

kieran I was raised by pandas, thats another story.

lynn finnaly your avatar works and I see cleavage, its great being me.

sassy sundry as much as a zombie time lord can be I suppose.