ISIS Melted My Ice-Cream

Do you ever look at the world with all its fake drama and feel disgusted? A Belfast born baker failed in a reality show called The Great British Bake Off, what is being blamed is that a fellow contestant removed the ice-cream from the freezer for 40 seconds but Iain Watters the baker decided his Baked Alaska was ruined and binned the ice-cream.
So Twitter went nuts, the Belfast Telegraph newspaper formed a petition for the BBC to apologise to Watters because he didn't present a desert and lost. TOTAL OUTRAGE!!!! SABOTAGE!!!!
Oh and Madonna may be slagging Lady Gaga off in her new song, I didn't know Madonna was still singing. Is Lady Gaga just a copy of Madonna? When did Madonna buy the copyright to being a slag?

Disgusted by this trivial bollocks yet?

ISIS marched 250 Syrian National Army troops into the desert (not a long march) all stripped doon to their skivvies and executed them. This was after ISIS captured Tabqa air base. Yes, I know that the Syrian army are the enemy but this shit is not cool.

ISIS also kills any men, weemen and children they don't like the look off, they are wiping out the "good" Syrian rebels who aren't mad Mooslims in these executions too.
According to Christian sites ISIS are beheading children but since it's only Christian sites who report on Christian persecution this cannot be verified though the persecution of the Yazidis is real enough and there are still many Yazidis stranded on Mount Sinjar in Iraq trying to fend off ISIS.

The Christian sites don't really seem to care about the Yazidis as they are a little too strange for them. Not at all very Christian.

    

ISIS captured 15 Kurdish fighters as a warning to the US to not help the Kurds. They even beheaded one of them near Mosul in the same manner as journalist James Foley and promised more.  They'll just shoot them anyways if they don't behead them.

The Peshmerga are Kurdish fighters whose name literally means 'those who face death' how fucking cool is that? It could only be better if it was Those who laugh at death or Those who mock paper cuts.

They have been a thorn in the side of Saddam for years and now ISIS. They are some of the few who will actually fight and win against ISIS, showing ISIS up as nothing more then wankers with guns.

Hey ISIS, yer Boko Harem ..... HA HA!

Or worse...

Hey ISIS, yer Al Qaeda .... HA HA! .... "I will fist you to death America but I will lube up as we aren't that bad and a dry fisting is terrible, take my word on that."
 

The Kurds have asked for arms and equipment from the west and I say Hell yeah but they can only do so much.

ISIS want to promote an aura of power and fear, it's easy to kill stripped down unarmed prisoners. The Kurds have shown that ISIS can be beat, they aren't all that if you have the balls to stand up to them.
I hear talk about oh if someone invaded yer land you'd fight against them, well why haven't the Iraqi people been fighting them? Too busy running or being executed for not being Mooslim enough. The Kurds pick and choose their battles and mostly fight against the bad guys, they have been consistent in this.  

ISIS cannot afford to hold prisoners as that takes food and ties up their fighters and they can't just release them so killing them is their only option, all the rest of their brutality is just showing them up as the unprofessional force of fanatics that they are. I would be more inspired to fight to the death than run or surrender but that is me. Go on yer own terms.

I'm sure the people of Iraq and Syria would like nothing better than having Britney Spears' relationships or ice bucket challenge water waste as their main concerns but they don't, they have to worry about survival for themselves and their children, we are sooo lucky in this respect and yet so sad and trivial too.

C'mon Obama, quit being a beige suit wearing Anti-Christ for 5 minutes and mount up. Fuck yer lack of strategy, what you had failed.
We need Obama and his lap dogs of shame (the UK and other weak willed nations) to go and defeat ISIS. Learn from the Kurds if you need to, use Iraqi troops as canon fodder, help Assad because he is the lesser evil, whatever, get it done without pissing off Syria and it's big friend Russia. 



It can be done and it needs to be done.

Sunday Sin Appreciation Post

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Welcome to Old Knudsen airlines, there are no safety exits or safety words aboard this plane but there are plenty of snakes.
If in event of an emergency put yer head between someones legs and make a new friend.

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It's Sunday and as you know Old Knudsen puts up a post full of hot adults in an attempt to lure all the Christian pedos away from the kiddies.
Others can enjoy this too, if you have religious friends then please help them to find their way to something legal.

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This beautiful Asian lady is for my friend in need, he requested naked Asian ladies to brighten up his life. Enjoy my Bavarian friend there will be more like this in the future, some might even have dicks if you are lucky.

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God wants you to motorboat titties not touch up kiddies .... stop interpreting it's word if yer gonna get it wrong. God told me what humans should be doing and yer not doing it right. I talked God into drowning the world once don't make me do it again.

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Here is another for my friend as an hour later you always feel like another.

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Why not have an Indian? not sure what tribe shes from though.

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Now for some arse, ya know what Old Knudsen hates? .... well he'll tell ya. He hates admiring a lovely ass only to have the woman turn round to reveal a twisted scowling face, smile for fucks sake, you'll never be beautiful but a smile may take the harsh edge off yer looks.... thank fuck for paper bags.
Oh and the gusset part of weemen's panties is Old Knudsen's favourite part, he loves a good scratch and sniff does Old Knudsen. 

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That arse cannot be real, yon thong is cutting into it like a cheese cutter and look, she gives you something to read, looks like one of those Asian tattoos that was supposed to say tranquility but really says poptarts or breadbin or something less deep than intended. 

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Old Knudsen caters for all types, who doesn't enjoy seeing toys cum to life and bumming their owners? 

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Thats yer lot you pedos and other assorted perverts .... or friends as I call them. Hope you find a favourite image today, remember to use force and let yer groin guide yer actions.

Why Does Cameron Want Rid Of Porn?

David Cameron keeps trying to get rid of porn as he doesn't want children accessing these filthy sites. Cameron's own children are already addicted to it and so he knows the dangers.

He also has a past to keep secret from his kids which is very important. Just cum clean Dave, you can run from yer past but it's gonna catch you and fuck you roughly from behind and then at the last moment cum over yer fat baby headed face.

It's ok lad, I can take these sites, so can the kids who help me get onto them for free.

Super DVD

I was thinking about having superpowers as I was looking at the young weemen on the bus dressed in their tight revealing leopard skin print clothing with a ton of makeup on shivering in the brisk Killamory evening on their way out to some club to dance around their handbags.

The usual invisibility came to mind as I could feel them up un-noticed or watch them as later on they have a drunken shag bent over a wheelie bin in some romantic alley. Everyone thinks about invisibility how boring.

I then thought of a really good one. The power to fire wet concrete from my hands, like the ice-man but with concrete. I could make it set super fast and get paid millions paving 3rd world countries like Ireland or Africa.

If some one shot a gun at me my super thick concrete wall would save me and then fall doon on them. I could sneakily put speed bumps on the roads where the little boy racers in their Honda civics tear doon or fire out bolts of concrete at Mosques and Synagogues breaking their windows and just stand there looking all innocent .

I would be the master of concrete, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! of course I should have a cool name. I thought about Constructo but that reminds me of the worker in the Village People. So then I though Man-Crete or Con-Man, maybe even Man-Cretion, here is a couple of open questions for you to abuse, what would you call me? and what would yer power be?

I got home with my DVD that I rented out, "Fisting Firemen Four" I had heard good reviews about it and a lot of Oscar buzz.

I opened the box and found they had given me the wrong one, those dopey fuckers. I wasn't going all the way doon the road to change it so I put it into my recently *found* DVD player.

It was some space film I had never heard of called, "Space heroes" The hero of the film had a chip on his shoulder when he failed at something resulting in the deaths of millions. He was talking to an alien mate of his who had just made a mistake, he said, "I know how you feel fucking up and all" I'm paraphrasing here. The Alien said "No I welcome what you Earthlings call 'fucking up' because then I get the chance to learn from my mistakes," then he said some words of wisdom that really made me think." Those who never try never fail" this theme makes a comeback near the end of the film when the hero hears those words like Obi-wan Kenobi in Star Wars to Luke and it motivates him. I can't remember too much about the end as I was too pished.

I did learn something valuable, "Those who never try never fail" so to not put yerself in the position of being a loser or failure you should never try. Getting the wrong DVD must have been a message straight from god.

*If the police ask thats my story*

Latest OBB News Up-Dates

Does This Robot Arm Make Me Look Fat?

I've had this post knocking about my drafts for a while now, its an amazing story and while I'm on the subject of limbs I thought I would post it, my other post was full of naked weemen which I found just too tasteless to post, I mean who wants to see that? so heres this one instead.

I don't know if you have heard about this guy or not but not only is he amazing but the technology attached to him is too.
In 2001 Jesse Sullivan a former electrical company lineman from Dayton Tennessee took two massive jolts of electricity in an accident and since then has had the ability to read minds, no wait I'm confusing fantasy and reality again, damn those painkillers.
No, Mr Sullivan burned his arms so badly that they had to be amputated at the shoulders, the poor man can't remember the accident and only remembers the depression afterwards, thinking his life was done.
Seven weeks later a Dr Todd Kuiken from the rehabilitation institute of Chicago had him fitted with a thought controlled bionic left arm, they in a sense rewired the man, they grafted the pects in his chest to the nerves in his shoulders and his brain now thinks it has hands again and can move them.
I was watching this guy on some late night techie convention thing where they were up on stage explaining the whole thing to other doctors and the media, some soppy woman asked Mr Sullivan if his wife ever touched his chest so it would feel like they were holding hands, Mr Sullivan looked at her as if that had never occurred to him and replied, "no" I'm sure because he knows what his wife's hand now has to wipe lines of intimacy have been well crossed, no more cutesy stuff.
Dr Kuiken had a funny story at how Mr Sullivan broke several of the bolts on his new arm trying to start up a petrol powered lawn mower, well he wouldn't had thought it so funny if it was him paying for to have it fixed.
Mr Sullivan's right arm is a conventional prosthesis that can just open and close it's hand, his bionic left arm now has attachments for a leaf blower, angle grinder and a nose and ear hair trimmer, the research team are now working on a way to make the bionicman na na na na na na sound when he bends iron bars.

Thankgod he can still hold a pint there is a reason to go on.


At the age of 59 Mr Sullivan hopes to be an example to amputee soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan to show them that there is a chance at a more normal life. The man is an example to us all, I doff my cap to you sir.

An inspirational story for my 300th post, if you're old, fat and ugly gurn up, at least you probably still have yer arms, if you don't well um sorry but on the off chance of you being an old ,fat ,ugly armless person you are one unlucky shite, hey it could be worse, if we were on a boat I'd throw you overboard for being a jinx.