Guns,Germs And Beer.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you...... Oscar Wilde.



Such a manly post, no ironing, spice racks or classic music, hey stop looking at my nipples.

Sometimes in this world of PC ness and weemen being allowed to speak freely etc (which in theory I am all for) some men tend to forget what warrior hunters nature intended them to be, maybe its because due to the army experiments and that I have been given extra doses of DG 180 the manliness serum and Alpha male training from Barbara Woodhouse (a man) that whenever I post about gardening, Oscar Wilde or sponge cakes I also must post about half naked weemen, beer and guns, not necessarily in that order , I don't want to get too drippy.



"No I didn't fart it was my cat suit honest, oops sorry that time it was me, and that time I'm on a cabbage diet".

At school I did the normal male type classes like woodwork and metalwork but you got the odd one or two boys that didn't like the cut and thrust world of male bonding and lamp making and did the female home economic and typing classes. Maybe getting in touch with their feminine side got them all the dates, not the guys I knew, they were a little too non threatening ,"I won't go out with you as I see you as one of the gurls".

I don't know what the gurls saw in me, masturbation and John Wayne films were my only interests, no not at the same time, well not always.
I would always get the mate of a gurl running up to me at speed and angrily belt out," hey wee lad, would you see my mate?" , in those days I learned from the movies that females only wanted you so they could smash a bottle over yer head and steal the diamonds, so the answer was mostly no.

Great stuff this Bass. This picture personifies desperation .

Females can smell desperation in a man and will avoid him like the plague. Unattainable unavailable men who aren't looking for sex and are more comfortable with their place in life are viewed by a lot of weemen as more human than the single guy that stares at yer tits while talking to you (single is a state of mind, even those who are married can be loathsome enough to think they are still single) I have not had so much attention from weemen than when I've been unavailable, then again a woman just has to smile at a man for him to think that she wants him .



This is commander Ivanna Cumonanof , ex Russian military, she likes kick boxing , knife fighting and her favourite movie is Beaches, she has a WW2 German Walther PP with all the waffen ampts and all, its okay for your back-up in the case of a last resort. She used to carry SIG's in .45 caliber or 9MM. She has had several .45's ,she wants a Beretta M92. but has never fired one but she is always open to new thrilling experiences. If you are a Glock man she would really like to get to know you. If you don't mind Old Knudsen's sloppy seconds, her being on top and the constant blow jobs then she is the woman for you, contact me for a set of code words and if you pass the background check ,polygraph and water torture a date in a public place of her choosing will be arranged, please have a valid passport a ton of condoms and a lots of very strong cigarettes.



Meet another friend of mine, the L1A1 Self-loading Rifle. Adopted from the Belgian FN FAL which can be seen on the BBC news every time theres trouble in Africa or South America. First used in 1954 this 7.62 mm weapon became known as The Elephant gun due to it's stopping power.

Calibre... 7.62mm
Length ... 41.5 in
Weight empty... (kg) 4.337
Weight loaded... (kg) 5.074 with 20 round magazine
Muzzle velocity... 853mps
Magazine capacity... 20 or 30 rounds
Rate of fire... semi-automatic only
Effective range... 800m +

It could be turned fully automatic with a match stick and a piece of tin foil but not very easy to use.A long winded and heavy weapon but accurate and easy to strip and keep clean.It's wooden stock and grip became harden plastic as the years went on. The reason it was retired as a weapon after 30 years of service was that it was too powerful for the Urban setting as many an IRA man found out in Northern Ireland.
I can remember a few years back I was training in the north of England at an army training estate ATE Otterburn. A cold God forsaken moorland. I slept with my SLR in my sleeping bag so it wouldn't rust up overnight, I made the mistake of not doing the same with my water canteen and found it to be frozen in the morning.

No one fucked with Barbara Woodhouse, look how he held this dog by it's throat.


Wheres his face and wheres his eye?
There it is its up in the sky
Beam into yer brains the ultimate lie
Accept yer fate with a sigh and on the way out die
But its not over, not while we are high
A thirst and the munchies on the hunt for some pie
Shred the tie for the end is nigh.