Here is where it all happens, my bedroom where I blog from. I had a few young friends over for an introduction into the effects of alcohol, I think it went well. One of my readers says:
Dear Old Knudsen
I have suspicions that you are not who you say you are and have been deceiving us all this time. If you are indeed Old Knudsen the popular, wise and witty sea salt you claim to be then tell us about your home of Killamory a place I have been unable to find on any map.
spacemonkeygirl@hotmail.com
My fine woman (or space monkey gurl) just look at my profile and see the honesty in my eyes.
Dear Old Knudsen
I have suspicions that you are not who you say you are and have been deceiving us all this time. If you are indeed Old Knudsen the popular, wise and witty sea salt you claim to be then tell us about your home of Killamory a place I have been unable to find on any map.
spacemonkeygirl@hotmail.com
My fine woman (or space monkey gurl) just look at my profile and see the honesty in my eyes.
Killamory is one of Scotland's best kept secrets, situated at the mouth of Lough Killamory. Its long sandy beaches lead up the heather strewn slopes of Scat hill to the 12th century ruins of castle Klute. A thriving little town with 25 pubs and 18 churches (protestant churches) nearby RAF Newton is where 2 alien space craft that crashed in 1953 are being hoosed . Hippies and nutjobs from all over cum up to see strange lights in the sky (we call them stars and aeroplanes) Killamory is my sweet home and if I ever had to leave I'd shed tears of blood as my grief would be so great, ach I don't want to think about such things.
When me and the lads go for a swally doon the pub we like to sing all 12 verses of "My sweet Killamory." I tried to sing it all here but I can only remember the words when I'm paralytic.
When me and the lads go for a swally doon the pub we like to sing all 12 verses of "My sweet Killamory." I tried to sing it all here but I can only remember the words when I'm paralytic.
My Sweet Killamory
My face it was glassed and I was kicked in the ass but I'm having fun can't ya see lad ?
You go home to yer wife watch she doesn't have a knife or you'll be singing like a Falsetto.
The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
The old cock crows with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.
Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
There was johnny McTay, we all thought he was ghey so we'd beat him and call him a nancy.Now he moved way doon south and he fucks in the mouth any female that takes his fancy.
The old sheep baa's with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
Killamory is the place, to be a fucking disgrace, be a brabbler a drunk or a junkie.The air is almost clean, theres a lively disco scene, and the brothel is a tied up donkey.
The old dog barks with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
I knew wee Mary Haig, such a bitter old taig, and she wouldn't renege her ways .But I hoped at the chance for a little romance, so I put up with passion plays.
The old man sings with a joy to be alive in the land where the sweet heather thrives.Oh my lass thought it nice when I slipped it in twice on the shores of the Killamory.
So Space monkey gurl who could make up shit like this? anything else you want to know just ask and give me a few minutes to cum up with an answer.
Fuck I hate stereotypes, it makes me so mad I want to glass the fuckers in the face and ge them a Glasgow smile.
For you to get to know Old Knudsen better he is:
* Cruel one minute and loving the next I'm as changeable as the sea.
* People think he is all seeing but really you are only seeing yer own guilt, shame on you.
* I'm not omnipotent well not as long as I have Viagra .I'm not 15 different people with proxy servers I'm not Horny Gurl 15 on My Space or Toffington the Earl of Twat on Blogger no matter how similar my writing styles are to them.
* I don't have all the answers but I can tell you what yer fucking problem is.
* Most of all I don't care and everything isn't about "you" nope its about me.
No wait a minute I do believe I just described God. So that means Old Knudsen is God, bet ya didn't see that coming I know I didn't. I'm not perfect you know but I'm pretty fucking close to it.
Bow doon you plebs, oh I need one of yous to build an ark, a nice big one with a shrubbery. Did I say ark? sorry I meant park, the drug dealers and their junkies need a place to hang out.
I know this to be true, for I am that old man.
25 comments:
Most expensive I would want a great favor from you; if not you dispiace,
I would want anch'io to put the photo when it sends the comments as you make!
you could send to me in program?
Ringrazio to you anticipatamente
I embrace affectionate linen
You want me to send you the program? ok I can do that but you don't have an e-mail address listed.
Is that a dead lemur on your desk?
I am bowing Old Great Rogue!
MJ its actually the severed head of a gorilla, I've started a collection of them.
DBS while yer doon there.
"I'm not 15 different people with proxy servers I'm not Horny Gurl 15 on My Space or Toffington the Earl of Twat on Blogger no matter how similar my writing styles are to them."
Bwahahahhahahaha, miaow
...
...you
...you were MEAN to an ALLIGATOR.
*profoundly shocked*
*unsure about returning*
manuel I have really no idea what you mean, as if I would hold a grudge.
first nations you'll be back, they always cum back. my chest freezer was full so I had to keep it fresh.
What have you done with Eddie Waring?
Well as you know I am Eddie Waring, I just can't be arsed juggling my 7 characters all the time, I'm also the next person who comments.
RAF Newton is in Nottingham
I'll forgive you for you know not what you say. Formerly RAF Annan they changed it to RAF Newton when the one in Nottingham was closed a couple of years back, to confuse the civvies I believe, seems to be working.
Someday I'll tell you the secrets of RAF Ouston, it may have you shot but I'll risk it.
Okay, if you are EW then update the Beanbag.
Pretty nice room for a nursing home. How often do they empty your commode?
Knudie, I was in Enniskillen t'other day and spotted something flying from a flagpole that your room should not be without. An Israeli flag!
You may wish to expound on this strange aspect or Norniron culture...
Non mi hai più risposta , ti ho mandato un e-mail ..come mai?
Ti auguro un buon inizio di settimana
Buona giornata lina
I can'T find Killamorey anywhere either. I think the whole thing is slightly ficticious to protect the author. I all fairness you've almost given enough personal info for me to steal your identity. Not in a spammy way either
Is THAT how you spell it..? Thats explains a lot.I always wondered why Paisley kept ranting about "No Potpourri"...................
MJ ok then I will.
connan drumm they won't let you smoke or shag in nursing homes its like prison but without the shagging.
DBS thats what I meant of course.
conan drumm I shall explain at a more convenient time.
solopoesie Mi avete trasmesso un email vuoto.
Niall I know I shouldn't have posted my national insurance number. Killamory is as real as you are, what is reality?
tony yer puns and jokes really stink in a nice floral way.
Killamory, that's right next to Glocca Morra, I believe. How are things in Glocca Morra?
Somebody get a bowl for that poor puker.
-P
Conan Drum I know I know [hand in the air]. But lets see what Mr Knudsen says. I may have another version....
wait a minute. I'm Eddie Waring.
if you're eddie waring than who have i been all this time?
dammit, i know i'm eddie waring.
no wait, i'm skylab.
never mind.
Oh no, not a shrubbery!
btw, I love the old man toilet in your bedroom. Nice.
Ms Blue theres a little brook leaping there its pretty shite.
manuel sorry you are the weakest link for yer answer.
first nations am I not Old KnudSON?
Ms Pool its handy having a supply near by.
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