The gurl on the left reminds me of the sister of a former ex of mine, the gurl couldn't pronounce her words correctly, no excuse for it, she sounded like a cross between a deaf person and a Teletubby plus she was fucking thick, a highly annoying individual.A bloke was sleeping inside a large industrial wheeled bin and was emptied into the bin lorry and crushed to death by the compactor during a rubbish collection in Limerick. Workers at the recycling depot who found him wanted to turn him into food biscuits but instead called the police.
The homeless man in his mid 30's is thought to be from the south of England but had been over in Ireland for a few years now. South of England huh? a dirty people doon there so I'm not surprised by the whole incident, they make the Irish look bad they do.
The homeless man in his mid 30's is thought to be from the south of England but had been over in Ireland for a few years now. South of England huh? a dirty people doon there so I'm not surprised by the whole incident, they make the Irish look bad they do.
This lass from the South of England (you can tell by the clothes) is just on her lunch break from the sex phone hot line.
I'm a callous cunt and I don't even believe in the existence of places named Limerick or Cork, that's just silly so I made up a wee limerick myself to cheer you up in case you are doon in the dumps as this Sassenach was.
There was a young man in a skip
Who desperately wanted some kip
And to his surprise
This idea wasn't wise
And he ended up crushed at the tip.
For the clueless out there (yanks in other words) I'll instruct you on British vernacular .
Lorry = Truck
Bin = Trash can (large or small)
Skip = Dumpster
Kip = Sleep
Tip = Where all the Garbage is dumped
The Dump = Where all the Garbage is dumped
Rubbish = Garbage
Rubbish = This Post
Biscuit = Cookie
Cunt = Bush
South Of England = Satan's Toilet
Dustman = Garbage man
Dust = Old term for shit as that used to be collected
Man = Those of Scottish descent
Hooker = A position in the game of Rugby
Look at this lad with his soft accommodating mouth, he wouldn't last a week on the streets, ah well if he doesn't work then throw him out.
.
14 comments:
Thank you for the decoder key. It actually helped a lot, though some of them were unnecessary:
"Lorry = Truck"
I knew that one.
"Bin = Trash can (large or small)"
We say that too.
"Skip = Dumpster"
Never heard that one.
"Kip = Sleep"
Really? So could you say "I kipped with your sister last night"?
"Tip = Where all the Garbage is dumped"
We call that a "dump".
"The Dump = Where all the Garbage is dumped"
Exactly.
"Rubbish = Garbage"
We know this one.
"Rubbish = This Post"
(see above)
"Biscuit = Cookie"
Then what do you call a biscuit? A giraffe? God, you people have some crazy words...
"Cunt = Bush"
You're preaching to the choir.
"South Of England = Satan's Toilet"
I didn't even know England had a South.
"Dustman = Garbage man"
That's what I call my drug dealer (though he doesn't like to be referred to as a "drug dealer").
"Dust = Old term for shit as that used to be collected"
Ok, now you're just making shit up.
"Man = Those of Scottish descent"
Including the females?
"Hooker = A position in the game of Rugby"
What the hell's "rugby"?
Blogging gold. Gone to work with the biggest grin on my face. Thanks!
I aspire to be a bag lady, some day soon and I will have to look for other accommodation's. It's a damn shame when ya can't take a nap in a dumpster anymore. What's this world coming to?
Right On Knudski!
Bloody English Southerners! We here in The Peoples Republic Of Yorkshire salute you! Keep up your badmouthing of those from The Sawwwth & you might just get yourself unbanned in Halifax!
The young lady looking into the skip (or dumpster as you say in your comprehensive translation manual) looks very cheeky. Especially the right one.
Oh Knudsey. I was lolling at your glossary.
Did someone say biscuits?
Make mine HobNobs, please.
"Kip = Sleep"
Really? So could you say "I kipped with your sister last night"?
You could say it, but you wouldn't do it.....
2 seattle wino dumpster stories from the 1980's:
the dumpsters where I used to live had a bar that hung on one side by a chain. by law the garbageman had to use this metal bar to bang on the sides of the bin before it was emptied. if the noise failed to wake whoever might be asleep inside and they got crushed, they'd had fair warning and couldnt sue if they happened to survive.
during the summer months we would party on the roof all night. come the morning we'd drop water balloons down on the winos, fast asleep atop the soft fluffy garbage bags in the dumpsters below. we regarded this as a public service-the winos got a shower, and woke up before the garbagemen came and kicked their asses.
A Pommie once went to Eire
and lived there for years without care
But he ran out of luck
When a big dumpster truck
Squashed him to the size of a pear.
captain Smack you can kip with someone but you'd be just kipping not fornicating and the dust bit is true.
ellie if I do 100 posts someone is bound to like at least one.
DBS The Irish should have just assumed someone was sleeping there, I mean it is Ireland.
tony if I can get halifax back then Burma will soon follow.
martyne really? I hadn't noticed.
annie I am just so misunderstood.
MJ I heard you like Hobknobs , ginger nuts and a jammy dodger.
manuel Yanks huh? its my dream to teach them good proper English.
First Nations setting them on fire might have been more funny.
willowtree how dare you out do my rhyme.
There's an art installation just put up here that was on the front page of the paper yesterday. It was a dumpster that was a made over inside into a luxurious hotel room. The artist wanted to make a comment on gentrification.
It looked pretty cool.
Those zany artists, they should get real jobs.
is that how you picture the girls when you call? i dare say that's wishful thinking;)
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