Chupacabra Sucks

Mrs Canion may be an expert in head (according to her husband) but this is a fucking dog .

Texas is one of those places I never want to go to, it looks to be full of that kind of Yank who thinks they are superior to everyone else. How the fuck could they be superior to the Scottish? that's just crazy talk.

Famous for the David Bowie knife and Jiminy Crockett who got his arse kicked by a bunch of dagos at tha Alamo. Robert Duval in a film said that Texans were the lowest form of life, their only redeeming quality seems to be their eagerness to execute criminals, "go Texans."
The Texan swagger, large hat , booming voice that's constantly bragging and clinky spurs that they all wear points to one thing, they are attention hoors.

Recently a woman in Texas found a dead animal outside her ranch, what could it be ? you may ask, well its the mythical, bloodsucking Chupacabra. Everyone knows that all mythical creatures are real in fact I was just discussing that with Jesus and Bigfoot the other day.

Only a Texan would jump to the conclusion of a Chupacabra lying dead waiting to be found, me I see the body of some ugly as fuck dog that died of some kind of disease and I don't pose with its head, no I cook the fucker, during the war the only meat we got because of the rationing was the scrapings from the roads after a car accident and we were grateful.
Three of these animals have been found over the month of July and now only the head exists, that should tell you how sure they are of their claim, you could have sold the others on e-bay.

This woman 'Canion' has had 26 chickens killed in the past few years but they weren't carried off they were drained of blood instead, did she find a straw on the creature? as far as I know they are called goat suckers not chicken suckers, I rest my case.

Killamory has its own goat sucker, I think shes Polish or something.

Travis Schaar a veterinarian thinks it to be a mutated dog rather than a Chupacabra but he won't say it for definite, unlike me who knows everything.
Canion has been selling Chupacabra T-shirts and Schaar must be on the take as he has one.

Here is Sam who won the Ugly dog competitions before his untimely death at the age of 14 (such a waste) I suppose he was a Cocaracha too.