News Lies And Inyerendo

Antique painting experts (if that is indeed a real job) didn't have anything better to do than re-x-ray (if that is indeed a real word) the last supper by that old master--------------bater Leonardo Di Caprio. They found yet another hidden layer that contained a clue to the identity of the Messiah. None other than DUP politician and First Minister of Northern Ireland Ian Paisley, he can be seen at the centre pondering who is about to betray him and almost as an answer to the left stands the dark figure of Sinn Fein cocksucker Gerry Adams (as if he would be invited) if I were you Ian I'd also check out that waiter on the right, have yer Ballygowan water tested for poison before you drink it, he looks like a right cunt.

Who ever said that romance was dead? Greta Green in Scotland marries at least 12 men to sheep every year, doesn't that picture remind you of 'Officer and a gentleman?'

Who ever said romance is dead? well I think his date is maybe be a little bit dead.

Adoption Ambassador for the UN was a role that Angelina took very seriously, a job that came with its risks. Mixing with poor dirty shit covered foreigners has infected Angelina with Tuberculosis which explains her gaunt appearance. She says she will seek medical attention after she loses a further 10 lbs as she has an important role coming up. Well done gurl don't listen to the tabloids, I think that only you can make spitting phlegm into a bottle look sexy.

That film 'The Grudge' was a right piece of shite, imagine leaving Buffy to do Scobby Doo films and this crap. The little Jap boy was fucking creepy, I hate little kid ghosts.

The NHS has been criticised for its latest male fertility treatment as the housing boom has caused a shortage of bricks, a NHS spokesman said: " Where are we to get these bricks from? you can't just make them appear from the ground you know." Alan Johnson MP, Secretary of State for Health vowed to close doon a hospital or two to keep up with demand for this treatment.

"Oh you like old Charlie don't you eh don't you, fiddle about, tune in Tokyo, you love it, I'm a prince you know."

Prince Charles caused an international incident while inspecting the Italian military last week. He fondled to the left when he should have gone right as is the Italian way. The Italian press had a field day and Charles' sexual preferences are now being question (more than usual) Princess Diana recently had the 10 year anniversary of her death and so did Mother Theresa, when I enquired by e-mail to Buckingham palace if Mother Theresa was also in the car crash that killed Diana I did not receive a reply, makes you wonder what they are hiding by their suspicious silence.


The things I do to try to get new readers to my blog, if you already read my blog then just ignore the picture, maybe I should have put my URL on the sign.


Never mind using Google earth fucking satellites to look for Steve Fosset the bloodly search engine never gives me what I ask for, they type in 'Find Steve Fosset' and Steve Guttenburg and his fucking bible pops up or Steve Austin's crash that made him a man barely alive.
Fosset was found when some smart cunt at the airport he took off from looked up .

The *snotter* that Saddam picked from his nose and used in his defense trail as a witness is to be put up on e-bay. The crusty dragon is expected to reach up to 4 million dollars as the old sock he used to wank into while in captivity was sold for 6 million to an anonymous genetic research lab.

*A snotter is also a rope or tackle used in sailing to tension the sprit on a spritsail.*

I've been to Ireland I've been to Dover I've traveled this wide world all over, over three times over drink what you have to drink and turn yer glasses over. Those plastic chairs are everywhere and they always seem to survive bomb blasts and earthquakes as I see them on the news sitting amongst the rubble. Devil chairs I say.

I'm outta here, I've been very busy off blog and as soon as yer security clearance becomes higher I may tell you about it. Who wants to reads blogs on a Friday anyway? away and eat yer fish and have a few beers, I've put my tight white trousers on and am off doon to the disco for some Friday night fever, maybe not a fever but I do expect to catch something crotch related.