Phone Sex

The reply to this might be: "Oh hi Lynn was it Jeff you wanted?"

What she might say next: "Thankyou for calling the suicide hotline please have a good night."

Who she might be phoning: Her parents, "Hello love I'll just get yer mother for you."

I never phone my parents anymore, a right pair of boring cunts they are, since my Da retired from his job at the old factory making perfume he has started to answer the phone at home. I'd call, he'd answer and there would be an awkward silence and I'd have to ask to speak to me Ma. You don't talk to the monkey, ya talk to the organ grinder. She'd usually tell him to say she was out, I'd hear her shouting in from the kitchen. I'd sometimes pretend to be my brother Lars but now they are wise to that and have security questions .

I shall admit to having had phone sex once, it did amuse me no end to see people putting the receiver of the pay phone up to their faces after I had used it.