That will teach the fucker.
You can call it a Pizzly, Grolar, Grizzlar or Polar Grizz, the mating of a Polar bear and a grizzly bear. The interbreeding of these two animals has only been found in captivity but last April Jim Martell a hunter from Idaho saw a Pizzly on Banks Island in Northern Canada so he shot it. " I love animals, that's why I love to kill them", nature lover Martell went on to say," some day there won't be any wildlife so I'm getting out and enjoying shooting it now before it all becomes extinct".
At a distance the Pizzly looked like a dirty polar bear but close up he could see it had rings around its eyes and a humped back, "I suffer from erectile dysfunction but when I kill animals I'm pointing twice at them". Martell has been hunting since the age of 8 and has dozens of trophies (not real trophies stuffed animals) including not one but two 10 feet tall brown bears from Russia. A bitch to get through customs,"anything to declare?" "yes I have Gazelle in my carry on and a pocket Beaver".
He also has two Ibex from Kyrgyzstan and crotch rot from Thailand .
To celebrate one less, er I mean the only Pizzly in the wild gone he plans to have a beer party (gurls aren't invited, there will be rough hoosing) "It is just a beautiful animal" said Martell who owns a telephone company out of Glenns Ferry and operates an Idaho Elk ranch, his 14 day trip to Canada cost $45,450 but the erection is worth it.
An older Museum specimen with a Bruce Willis smirk, its either them or us.
One shot at 300 yards and the dreaded beast was dead. I salute you sir for saving the Eskimos and Canadians from this potential man eating monster (the French Canadians can go fuck) I only wish there were more Americans like you with guns in the world, no wait there are..................... oh shit.
Strange enough Martell has a wife, she has no taste in decor, a low sex drive and watches soaps all day so she doesn't mind a hoose full of dead animals as long as she gets her bon bons and laudanum .
Martell said," If I hadn't shot the Pizzly then no one would have known about it", he thinks he actually helped the biologists by showing it 'could' breed in the wild, could as in past tense.
God forbid that man shouldn't know anything.
I'm not worried about the green hoose effect the world has been going on for millions of years without our help, if it wipes mankind out then that's nature's way and I don't blame it, mankind is pretty shitty. Even the extinction of animals by man is nature as we are nature, its a shame but then so is a Tsunami killing children.
The Pizzly is nature's way of reacting to the disappearing ice, the Polar bears come south and adapt, the less adaptable in nature dies or becomes a Blogger.
At a distance the Pizzly looked like a dirty polar bear but close up he could see it had rings around its eyes and a humped back, "I suffer from erectile dysfunction but when I kill animals I'm pointing twice at them". Martell has been hunting since the age of 8 and has dozens of trophies (not real trophies stuffed animals) including not one but two 10 feet tall brown bears from Russia. A bitch to get through customs,"anything to declare?" "yes I have Gazelle in my carry on and a pocket Beaver".
He also has two Ibex from Kyrgyzstan and crotch rot from Thailand .
To celebrate one less, er I mean the only Pizzly in the wild gone he plans to have a beer party (gurls aren't invited, there will be rough hoosing) "It is just a beautiful animal" said Martell who owns a telephone company out of Glenns Ferry and operates an Idaho Elk ranch, his 14 day trip to Canada cost $45,450 but the erection is worth it.
An older Museum specimen with a Bruce Willis smirk, its either them or us.One shot at 300 yards and the dreaded beast was dead. I salute you sir for saving the Eskimos and Canadians from this potential man eating monster (the French Canadians can go fuck) I only wish there were more Americans like you with guns in the world, no wait there are..................... oh shit.
Strange enough Martell has a wife, she has no taste in decor, a low sex drive and watches soaps all day so she doesn't mind a hoose full of dead animals as long as she gets her bon bons and laudanum .
Martell said," If I hadn't shot the Pizzly then no one would have known about it", he thinks he actually helped the biologists by showing it 'could' breed in the wild, could as in past tense.
God forbid that man shouldn't know anything.
I'm not worried about the green hoose effect the world has been going on for millions of years without our help, if it wipes mankind out then that's nature's way and I don't blame it, mankind is pretty shitty. Even the extinction of animals by man is nature as we are nature, its a shame but then so is a Tsunami killing children.
The Pizzly is nature's way of reacting to the disappearing ice, the Polar bears come south and adapt, the less adaptable in nature dies or becomes a Blogger.
17 comments:
That's it exactly! Bon bons and laudanum! That's what I want to do with the rest of my life!.
Oh, and I'd also like to hunt down that Martell moron and shoot him with the intent to maim his man-bits (a good shot before he started to run for his life, and I think I could even maim them right off, but I'd need some practice on quail hunters first) and prevent his ever breeding any more little camo and ammo nutters.
Then a few bon bons, a little laudanum, a snifter of absinthe and so to bed after a meaningful day's work.
lol Old K. Hmm well what a charmer this bloke is. That's him, I'm assuming, positioned directly and pointing, behind the bear is it?
That's it that's it. You have the Polars, I'll have the Pandas.
Lynn, have you ever wrestled a bear? Or a bear rug? Or bare, on a rug?
Just asking is all.
Not quite sure what to make of hunters actually--killing a rare breed is moronic even if by accident--you should know what you're shooting at, at least. But I have known people who hunt because it's their main source for food.
Americans and their guns--jeez.
lol Kieran! No, no and yes, as a baby of course. Recently? ... might have.... ;)
I'm glad we have this bear thing settled.
I went "ape-Shit" once .does this count......?
lynn I think it might be the guy in white, hard to tell.
kieran no mentioning gonads on yer blog then, good question, it should be asked more often.
robyn I like guns but it always seems to be the morons that have them, arm everyone and have it out wild west style.
kate-isis wiccan per chance? bears with lasers beams on their heads sounds like one of the nightmares I had recently thanks for reminding me. I cannot get rid of the Royals due to the oath I took, you are now on my anti-royal list, I will be busy.
sassy sundry its not settled, those black bears want our white bears for sex, see what I just did? yep its bear racism.
frobisher why is it always the stupid cunts that have money to blow on stupid destructive hobbies, no really go find out.
tony what a strange term, did you fling yerself at people?
if we're at all fortunate this moron will try and carve off a couple of steaks and die seething with trichina.
because the majestic polar bear of the wild arctic north?
is a dump feeder these days.
digs up fresh graves too.
yay for the last frontier.
yay.
Old K, Not so much wiccan as wicked.
I used to be a true royalist until they gave Camilla a title.
Pocket beaver, pocket beaver, pocket beaver, smack me, I'm skipping.
The Scots are to blame for the demise of the Pizzly. Isn't that what that little minge thing on the front of kilts is made out of?
Hey eddie waring! Careful with your talk about the little minge thing! You are in a wee circle of Scots here, or at least three of us, but we're mean and we'll close in on you 'til you scream for sweet mercy, MERCY!
I'm just saying, OK? No careless talk about the wee minge things, see? We're a highly strung people (or is that we should be highly strung somewhere? hmm) and have likely been overserved at a bar somewhere. Consider us every bit as deasly as an American moron with a gun.
That museum pizzly looks like it's been spray-painted brownish on his legs like a kind of hairy Paris Hilton.
Every bit as deasly and deadly...
Mr Waring ha ha, see? she'll cut ya, we call her sam the slasher, well that was because she had a bladder infection and had to slash all the time, but really sweet mercy and all of that, go on say what you said to me about Alan Rickman.
Remember in Star Wars when Luke had to cut open that bear thing and sleep in it until the Death Star was built? That was cool.
I thought it was a ford Capri and he had to build a baseball field.
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