Thursday, 11 January 2007

5 Years Of Fun In The Sun.

Take advantage of an all expenses paid holiday at beautiful Guantanamo Bay.
magnificent mountains , waterfalls and soft secluded beaches are some of the pleasures nearby.
Relax and unwind while room service brings you your meals as cooked by the world famous chief Albert Le Cochon author of the books 365 easy pork meals and my bacon is cooked.
Talk to our friendly staff as they apply the latest beauty treatments to yer nipples and turn the dial to 11.

Enjoy our petting zoo as seen on Fox news.

Delight in the 72 *virgins* that are escorted past the wire during prayers by our ever so friendly virgin handlers.


Tour in comfort and style with our chauffeur driven um carts?

Experience the thrill as you are put on a plane bound for Syria and torture but really land in Belize and for those that aren't so talkative a full British Breakfast, extra rashers. Syria doesn't seem so scary now does it?


Once you've had Guantanamo hospitality you won't be able to leave.



*Clinton cigar ruling 1998. oral, anal and any type of penetration does not count as sex as long as at least one foot is touching the floor. *

20 comments:

dive said...

As British residents Bisher al-Rawi, Jamil el-Banna and Omar Deghayes know only too well, you certainly won't leave if our poxy government don't want to make a scene with the yanks.
All three have been enjoying the comforts of Guantanamo since 2002. None of them have been charged with any offence, although one of them - when abducted in Africa - was found to be in possession of a "suspicious object" (a battery charger - quake in fear, America).

Just don't get me started.

GG said...

damn, i've just booked that trip to guam. i'll be ditching my travel agent for not letting me know about the best deals at the moment.

is it like summer bay? i hear there's great water sports at guantanamo bay... what is it again?...surfing? ... boogie boarding? ... nope... oh, that's it - the latest craze that's been taking off - waterboarding. sounds like a blast.

that fry up looks very appealing.

mmmm, bacon...

Fat Sparrow said...

I don't care about your disclaimer; if she's a virgin, then I'm Haden Powell.

Sassy Sundry said...

Happy Birthday, Gitmo! Happy Birthday, Gitmo! Happy Birthday, Shameful Torture Chamber Holding People in Violation of the Geneva Conventions! Happy Birthday, Gitmo!

W so does not get any virgins.

BEAST said...

Looks nicer than Butlins at skegness !

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Prices are extortionate though.

The Mistress said...

Does it count as sex if he leaves his socks on?

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

Hello? uhm I's like to speak with someone in reservations please!!

Scout said...

I can't believe it has been 5 years. It's like a hidden spot on earth, and it's under the radar. A real national disgrace.

By the way, I don't understand the British breakfast with the beans and tomatoes. And all mixed up on one plate.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

lol Robyn. You would have a separate plate for each ingredient of the breakfast? Wow that's some big dishwasher you have there!

CrankyProf said...

You forgot the comfy two-ply koran paper in the loo, and the lovely, big-breated weemuns who leash-walk you for aerobic exercise...

Sassy Sundry said...

As a vegetarian, I stayed away from the Full English. I had delightful breakfasts in Belize, though.

Old Knudsen said...

dive it was british residents that did the london bombing don't forget so that means nothing, if you want human rights go to china.

gijin gurl the main water sport is holding yer head in a bucket of water until you talk.

fat sparrow no I'm haden powell, the poor gurl looks like she has IBS.

sassy sundry its a black hole of justice, to be honest I don't care, if they weren't insurgents before they are now, when they come for the scots I may care more then.

lynn I was a dishwasher once, no one is putting a spoon in me.

Mr beast similar to Hi De Hi I suspect.

mj yes it does, you're covered, er I hope yer blue dress is ok.

rich reservations? don't get me started on those pole dancing injuns again.

robyn back in the old days the sweet and the savory was served on the same plate at the same time.

crankyprof you yanks can sure roll out the red carpet.

tony said...

72 Virgins!Wow! You'd have to be Paul Daniels to rustle up 72 virgins here in Yorkshire.No wonder the Muslims in Halifax are so pissed off........@ the last count we only had 1 left ! and she is very old.....(come to think of it she looks 72.........)

Jagd Kunst said...

I hear they have a great compulsory nudist beach

Ame said...

Any type OBB? Does a swan count? You naughty naughty NAUGHTY (but hilarious!) BOY! ;) Oh, and whose foot...mine or the swans?

Old Knudsen said...

tony Muslims in Halifax, is this what we fought the crusades for?

jadg kunst if I'm not on some Islamic hit list by now then what do I have to do.

ame 3 naughtys, does mistress want to spank the bad boy?

Anonymous said...

The only virgins 'round here are the ones that can still out run their brothers, damn! I think you've missed your calling, Da. You should've been a commercial writer for a Travel Agency. You've mastered making SHITE look appealing and makes me wanna book the whole shabang. Bravo!

Old Knudsen said...

I should have turned camp X-ray into camp sex-ray, I don't think you have to betray yer country just so you can get a little bondage, tempting but I'm sure someone would be willing to tie you up and gag you, New York is so friendly ask around.

Rob7534 said...

The only Camp i'll be caught dead in, is Camp Camp