On board the USS Enterprise.
Captain Kirk sat alone in his darkened quarters, his large tight melon like stomach heaved before him, perspiration dripped down his face, he was on the edge and didn't know why.
"Bones, Bones" he yelled into the intercom, "what, theheck , is wrongwithme?" a raspy voice replied, "whats wrong Jim, is it the Klingons?" Kirk thought for a moment, "No , Bones , therashhas , gone , away", "sex Jim sex", Kirk smiled bashfully, "you do know , Ihavealways , liked, youDoctor", "not me you animalistic sex mad wang driven freak, I'm a doctor not a jar of raw liver, how long has it been since you blasted off".
Kirk stared at his fingers concentrating, " at least 2 hours Bones, ohmygodI've got, togetsome, what about Sulu?" "not your type Jim, he likes to go solo".
"Ok Doctor I'll callaround".
"Kirk to Yawhoreyou, report to my torpedo", "not if you were the last man in space Whitey".
Kirk thumped his table in rage, "Kirk to Mr Scott, I, havesomething , foryou, tofix". "No Captain, I canna take anymore, I was nae expectin to take it into action".
"Kirk to Spock, I , neeeeeed , youMrSpock".
"Spock here Captain, it would be illogical to fulfill your needs, I am not your space bitch, besides Captain, I am on my Pon Farr, do you think my ears make me look fat?:::sob sob:::".
"GoddamnitSpock , bring , meaTribble , then , Iwillgowhere , no , man hasgone before".
Little did the mighty Kirk know that Chekov had already gone there and was in sick bay going through a Tribble removal operation.
From The Urban Dictionary
Angry Kirk
Having sex with someone and just as you are about to cum grab them by the hair and scream 'KHAN!!!!'
I was really giving it to her and in the heat of the moment I grabbed her hair and screamed 'KHAN!!!' like Angry Kirk from Star Trek.
In memory of the great William Shatner.
Wednesday, 4 October 2006
For Shatner.
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18 comments:
You really are a giant among peasants. It is my dream that one day, ye shall be poet laureate.
(Montoya licks babies)
hey old knudsen, why don't you get your hand off your knob, get off your skinny, bony arse, and start posting a little more frequently.
i'm getting bored hitting refresh in the hope of new material.
er, shatner's not dead is he? feck, half the world could blow up and i wouldn't know about it in this god forsaken country. you do realise that you're my source of worldwide news, right?
Montoya, we meet again, you're the Lord Lucan of Blogging, you're the Tom Cat that pees on my door, stinking the place up and slinks off into the night. Shatner is as dead as your Home Perm, how can anyone be so bloated and discoloured and still be alive, its all CGI.
Kieran, I go to your Blog for me laughs, don't tell Maroon, you know how jealous he gets, Montoya does indeed lick babies, its his culture, a vile base dirty people to be sure.
Gaijin Girl, I wouldn't have my hand on my knob so much if you didn't keep sending me those pictures, everything you hit the refresh button, an Angel gets their wings ---- pulled off, fucking Angels hit away, I'm yer best soucre for news? well i'm more truthful than Fox, Shatner is dead, he choked to death on his own ego in his sleep, meanwhile we've almost won the war in Iraq, we just need to get some papers signed, Nasa admitted it never landed on the moon, it was just a wee joke, and the Queen of England (god bless her) does go to the toilet.
Notso notso deadmen don'teat salmon inhoneybalsamic sauceat the Ivy.
I did have to check cnn.com to make sure he hadn't died. But his coloring is a bit funky, isn't it. And if he used anymore makeup on Boston Legal, he'd be a girl.
If I can make just one person check the news then I have done my part for shit stirring around the world, stand by for a tribute to Alec Baldwin, why could it not have been Daniel or Stephen? oh the pain, the loss.
I did check the news Knud, but not to check if anyone was dead. I just wanted to know about what happened to the poor woman they refer to when they say William shat on her.
There ought to be a law, there really oughta.
I thought my post was poor taste, and then you had to write something like this, shame on you, do you see a reccuring feces theme lately? I bet Dr Maroon never gets this, well unless he wants it.
i shatner, id hit it
Ah, like fightclub huh? yes I would hit it too.
I think Sammy means "I'd hit it" as in with his penis.
I was curious if the Captn had died as well, but I didn't check reuters or nothing, I just assumed you were posting about "wishful thinking" yet again.
Anyway, did you write that, or did you steal that from all the slash fan fiction on the net? And you just KNOW that Spock would have "hit it!" The two of them were thick as thieves!
Anonymous - you know what I found? yer Ma passed out so I had a go at her and its your fault, I hope you're still happy with your money.
Rob7534 - I would of thought half a brick would of made a better weapon, hes no seen fight club has he? its strange that no ones believes Old Knudsen about Shatner, and no I did not steal it, how dare you even suggest it sir, pistols at dawn, no make it around 12.30 ish ,yeah yeah, everyone is gay, no the tea drinking fake frenchman Jean baldyfucker Picard was queer, Jean is a girl's name after all.
William Shat-on-her! Sam, that's the best joke I've heard in years.
Yeah I meant I'd do him, but yes I have seen Fight Club, it is my favorite movie fists down.
I know the street talk of you young uns, I was just yanking yer chain. (yeah you wish)
I wouldn't want senile and limp either though I do like it when they lie still, I also wouldn't want a middle aged Husky,you want a younger dog, more people orientated like a Lab.
husky as in big in weight silly old man
they call them bears [husky hairy gay men]
but i do love siberian huskies, they are great dogs, and my black lab passed away a year ago
Ah sammy you're such a gift.
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