Just over 20 years ago I got into these things called comic books, I had 2 subscriptions, for Warrior and 2000AD , now and then I'd buy one that had DareDevil on the front and Captain Britain on the back, who the Hell has heard of Captain Britain? he finally got his own magazine so I subscribed to that and broke up with DareDevil .I sometimes got the odd Marvel mag for the X-men but the quality wasn't very good, can you not colour inside the lines ya tards? towards the end of my Captain Britain subscription Fuckvel er I mean Marvel bought it out, I eagerly waited to see what would happen and then I received a cheque for £5.00, I'd rather have the comic but it was the coolest cheque I had ever seen, full of the famous Marvel superheroes, I put it in a frame and hung it on my wall, fuck off, I'm Scottish, I cashed that bastard as soon as I could, now don't no smart arse go telling me that some Trekkie would of bought it off me for £10.00 if I had of kept it.
Marvel did their usual hack job, having been used to quality I now got shite and so I lost touch with the Captain, we send cards at Christmas but are now just strangers.
Captain Britain
Speaking of Quality, in the three comics I got, Alan Moore (pictured above) and Alan Davis did some Art and Writing, those guys are my heroes, not on the same level as Winston Churchill or Jack Palance but still on the list. I'd forgotten all about Warrior until they were making that V for Vendetta film, that came from Warrior.
Where are all the pensioner SuperHeroes? now don't give me that crap about low sales and a target audience, the SuperHeroes haven't got older, they've got younger, they call them 'ultimate' and the art is crap, a teen soap opera, and also the Teen Titans, no offense to any young dumb and full of cum Teenagers out there but Teens are as thick as pig shit, they can't stop themselves from getting erections never mind stopping an evil villain, they would face a tiny bit of adversity and say, "that's not fair" as they fly off in a sulk.
Heres what I said to Super Mall Girl.
"With great power comes great responsibility", she sighed rolled her eyes and said, "like whatever".
Update
I had a little trouble with the link for the X- men, hopefully it won't disappoint and if I hear anyone say," whats an old Scotsman doing reading comics shouldn't you be out crofting sheep?" why I'll beat you to death with my wooden leg. I also read the Dandy and the Beano but to be honest they were quite lame.
Tuesday, 31 October 2006
There Is No 'I' In Nerd, But There Is In Meat Pie.
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2000 A.D. was cracking and no mistake. One day the vicar came round and was appalled when he saw my zarjaz collection of the galaxy's greatest comic. 'There are hidden homosexualist and satanic messages hidden in this filth!' he cried. He offered to destroy my mint-condition progs 1-20 for me, and gladly I agreed.
Last I heard he'd bought a villa in the Bahamas. Verily, God rewarded him.
Were you waiting in ambush for me to post? you may have missed the update I added. God does help him who helps himself, I missed the homosexual messages due to lusting after Judge Anderson. I disliked the Halo Jones stories as I dislike the manga of today as they all look kind of retarded, no offense to all you retarded readers out there.
I always thought the crappest super hero was the Black Canary I think she was the Green Lanterns mount......she was rubbish , her super power was a sonic canary trill......dozy tart.What superhero did robin the boy wonder become ?????
"oh shit its the black canary", who comes up with these names? Robin, having been traumatized himself went on to repeat the cycle of abuse and ended up living in a cave with young boys whom he told were all superheroes, well he actually just got younger and is now a teen titan
Hey, they made black canary fairly cool in the new justice league, it sort of came more across of the green arrow being HER mount. No, thats the new robin, old robin became nightwing and did his own thing separate from bats, read the graphic novel "No man's land".
if you want a really lame superhero in a very cool graphic novel (more for your buck than comics.) try Nite-Owl in "Watchmen"
Nightwing sounds like a *fannypad* Claire Raynor would advertise.
I am the superhero 'morning person' now wheres my fucking coffee?
*pantyliner*
No pensioner superheroes?
Dig out your copy of The Dark Knight Returns! (If you really like comics, it should be in the bathroom, beside the wad of crusty tissues) …
And that little old man in おとも かつしろ's Domu kicks some serious ass!
There's hope for us old 'uns yet, Mister K.
'The Incredible's' had the right with the retired heroes idea but messed it up, does Captain America get a pension I wonder, does Superman have a green card ? and theres all those heroes that don't have a power, they shoot arrows really good or have a bat fixation and a load of gagets, are they to be called 'super' hero or just 'handy to have around hero' ? and is James Bond then a superhero? knowing how anal comic geeks can be I'm sure there are categories.
I don't have any of my comics anymore, having moved about a lot in my life a lot gets lost or left behind, I had a pile of comics that included spidermans and conans from the 70's that I believe I left under a bed in a bedsit I used to inhabit, I get a kick seeing the covers on-line or in comic book shops.
Judge Dredd is pushing sixty in the story so I suppose he almost counts.
Speaking of Joe Dredd, I always thought he might bat for the other side since he never made a move on the hot and sexy Judge Anderson.
Oh dear, I'm out of my element here. I'll honor "Missing the Point" day. I don't want to think about anyone crofting sheep, so I won't even mention the comics.
The meat pie thing was put to good use in Shawn of the Dead.
I think Captain Britain took a look around one day and said "Sod this, I'm off to Provence."
Mr Eater a little bit too butch, a classic case of denial, I always wanted either his gun or Rogue Trooper's Gunnar.
sassy sundry I hope you can share some views and experiences with my up and coming midget cage fight post, some would call it cruel but I say they love it.
dh love the avatar, so you went and became a mason?
If you make a post about fighting midgets you're a dead man.
You insult one Mason you insult us all, be warned sir.
a smallperson I have nothing but respect for Midgets the post is cancelled.
James Mason I was confused, its one of those sextoys you use on boats to navigate your reef.
you're not fooling anyone you post comments to talk to yourself, you're mad Knudsen.
you call me mad when it was you that shagged Woody Allen.
She wasn't all that good.
So Mr Allen, how's the kids?
The avatar is all about navigation. It's a metaphor.
Getting back to Captain Britain. I heard he was sorting out his pension check one day when he came across a bunch of immigrants getting beaten up by chavs. He couldn't decide which side to join in on. So he emmigrated to New Zealand and died in a bungee jumping accident.
This post was totally for me! and as far as Scots and comics go, my favorite writer is Mark Millar, and he is a drunken Scotsman!!
PS. The Ultimates is fucking amazing just in case you think that all new comics are crap, you should definitely be checking that one out (written by Millar).
Captain America isn't retired, but the government does pay all his bills since he is an Agent of SHIELD, but right now hes on the run cause of Civil War...
dh Thanks for clearing so much up for me, I'm sure C.B. would of helped the chavs, he was a bit of a prick at times, must of been why I liked him so much I could relate.
sammy I'm sure to a young person the ultimates are good but I can't even stand a change in uniforms never mind a change in the characters.
But I was honestly never a big fan of The Avengers. I like Brubaker's Captain America, but the characters just didnt really resonate with me.
The Ultimates on the other hand makes the avengers seem cool as well as incorporate current socio/political themes (as most Millar stuff does). This is no "kid's" book.
You should definitely try it, especially Ultimates Volume 2, which is just fucking insane.
You need a second mortgage now to be able to afford comics, I will just have to live with my memories.
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