Yum Yum in Thailand.

Old Knudsen was reading a post from the confusingly named Me! and was reminded about the time he was to go to Thailand for a holiday, my three friends were there awaiting my arrival, now I know what you're thinking, Old Knudsen is into diddling young kids, well how wrong you are my so-called friends, the three gentlemen waiting for me are respectable professionals, a teacher, a priest and a doctor, have you ever heard of any of them buggering kids? no I didn't think so.
My trip was after 11/9 so I had to go through humiliating searches and questions, yeah yeah its for my own safety, you used to be able to buy big bottles of Aspirin in the Mr Pound shops, but for my own safety they stopped selling them and now I have to either go to a chemist or take paracetamol which is crap so fuck off and put cocaine back into coca cola.

Well I was walking bare footed trying not to look guilty of anything but when the fuckers look at you all the impure thoughts and bad things you've ever done surface in your mind, the Badger baiting, cockfighting (fuck my dick got sore) and the Russian roulette parties, remember that rash of suspicious suicides a few years back? I must of looked guilty because instead of grabbing the Ragheads in the platform shoes they got me, fucking Peelers, asking me all the stupid questions under the sun, they held me for three hours, giving me full body cavity searches which really aren't that bad, they for some reason kept harping on about my 4 suitcases that were packed with sweets, my friends asked me to bring them over, sweet tooths (or is it sweet teeth?) I said fuck it, all I wanted was to meet my mail order bride, I had to send the last one back as she wasn't from Thailand, she had made in Kong Hong stamped on her arse and its not like you can tell them apart, only kidding, not about telling them apart, like Dolly the sheep they are all clones that look the same, no, my wife at the time objected to the mail order bride idea, she was one of those repressed women types who always had headaches when Old Knudsen wanted to get his freak on, look at my picture, what woman wouldn't want a bit of that? I've turned women into Lesbos because no other man can compare to Old Knudsen.

I didn't make it to Thailand, as for my friends, they got into some sort of trouble over there, maybe I shouldn't have told the police where they were staying.