Movie Magic.

Films and television shows had become dumbed down, repeated old reworked formulas
designed for the less picky, rehashed sequels , here are some ways they trick you into paying to watch shite.

Sensationalism, take 2 manly guys and make them gay.

Rely on likeability and star power of the actors, Ocean's 12, what the fuck?

Make a movie with a hot woman dressed in tight PVC but not tell you its mostly set at night (due to vast amounts of CGI that doesn't look real in good light)and the outfit is also black and they only shoot her from a distance or from the chest up.

Add, new young characters to attract young' uns to sequels to make up for the aging stars.
example, Terminator 2 Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom, Star Wars Epidsode 1.

Avoid comedies in which voice overs tell you how funny it is and the trailer shows the actors laughing but not what they are laughing at.

Avoid movies in which the trailer is a 20 second blur of action that leaves you wondering what it was about and who was in it, remember Stealth?

Don't bother with filler movies that have crap lazy names like, Firewall, Cellular and Flightplan.

Just forget about films that the original actors wouldn't star in the sequel for any reason but they make it anyway, Speed 2 was class right?

Movies that compare it to other movies are just sad , example: High noon meets The Terminator.


Aging franchises will.

Introduce sexy chicks in tight outfits that pout a lot
Bring in an almost unstoppable foe.
Use big name cross over actors.
Create an early years version of the show or prequel, (see bring in younger actors)
Bring in a cute animated SpaceMonkey. (do ya think Wanker is helping my Blog?)



Movies that didn't need to be remade

Mr Deeds goes to town 1936
War of the worlds 1954
The Ladykillers 1955
School for scoundrels 1960
The Flight of the Phoenix 1965
The Posideon Aventure 1972
The Longest Yard 1974
The Italian Job 1969 (thanks Kieran!)
The Four Feathers 1939

It didn't make them better, just newer.