Thursday, 30 April 2015

A Post Full Of Dicks

So the DUP defeated yet another proposal to bring same sex marriage to Northern Ireland. The DUP have a history of hating queers be they leezers or turd pushers and just recently Jim Wells the health minister resigned after he just couldn't stop condemning gheys ... He used his sick wife as an excuse to leave.
So wells said that children in a homosexual household were more likely to be abused and told a couple of lesbian would be DUP voters that he and his party didn't agree with their lifestyle .... so can we count on yer vote anyway before you burn in Hell?

Was he surprised that he got a nasty worded backlash from the Internet? Well stop being a cunt and then you won't, a sick wife isn't an excuse to be a dick and an Internet backlash doesn't make you the poor victim.
The DUP leader Peter Robinson (with the old lady face) has said that his party believe that marriage is between a man and a woman .... and of course sometimes between a man, woman and that woman's toy boy lover as is the case with Mrs Robinson, Heaven holds a place for those not ghey, hey hey hey.

 L-R Trevor Lunn, Judith Cochrane and Kieran McCarthy Alliance homophobes.

The Alliance party voted for same sex marriage .... except three of their members. They had previously voted against but this time abstained. The Alliance party just had an article in the Belfast Telegraph on how they respected and welcomed everyone, well until the voting that is.

Old Knudsen would like these three to fuck off and die and advises you not to vote for them, go Green or even cock sucking Sinn Fein for fucks sake. Don't they understand that this is about equality, not about if they hates gheys or use the Bible to oppress them. The Troubles occurred because of a lack of equality and every time we deny it to others we're holding our progress back. Their votes would have made a difference. Feel free to write to them or to David Ford the Alliance party leader and tell him to control his members as this flip flopping free vote thing they have going on is losing voters. Man up Alliance and dump yer wankers.  

The Governor of Maine Paul Lepage likes to screw over the voter with his tax breaks for the rich, poor job creation and then complain about them because they are poor. He has said that the 32,000 unemployed Mainers are too lazy to look for work because they are busy getting high.

Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France 7 times while high on the crack has set a standard few can live up to.  

There is an attack on the poor who are getting government assistance on the SNAP program, politicians have been calling for any junk food not to be allowed to be sold to these people and certainly not steak or fish because that should be out of their budget... oh and lets do drug tests before we give them assistance. 

Lepage is calling for no prepared foods to be sold either on Foodstamps assistance. The average amount of help is $125 per person per month, which works out to about $1.40 per person per meal but considering the real cost of food it never lasts a month.

Many people who are working receive foodstamps because they get a shitty wage. 47 million Americans depend on food stamps, half of them are children and a quarter of them are seniors. The spouses of many active military members requesting food help has risen dramatically in the past couple of years .... are these lazy stoners?

Dicks like Lepage wants busy poor and often disabled people to make up their own spaghetti sauces and pickle their own dills like the rest of us do and if you want meat don't be going to the deli, eat it from cans like poor people should. Tinned cat food has all the necessary health requirements that the poor deserve.
There is no shame in being poor or needing help, maybe those trying to shame the poor are just distracting because they are not doing their job well enough to create employment or training. The old, poor and sick have always been an easy target for bullies.  

Even the beautiful people can be dicks.

Sean Jefferson, aged 45 and Elizabeth Jowitt, aged 37 go around cemeteries in York and steal wreaths, lanterns, memorial slates, homemade toys and other trinkets to decorate their home with. I'm sure it looks lovely, how dare you judge.

They pleaded guilty in court and received a  curfew and a restraining order from cemeteries in York.

Finding out that someone took sentimental stuff from yer child's grave to decorate their flat with didn't go down too well and neither did the lack of prison time .... but that's the soft as shite UK for you.
May this couple get all they deserve in life ..... and make overs STAT! 

Someone doesn't think that Manchester council fix the potholes in the roads fast enough and have taken to drawing cocks around them.   The city spokesperson said:
“Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school? Not only is this vandalism, but it’s also counter-productive,” the spokesman said. “Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.”
 Good enough for council work.

Maybe the young families don't want their fucking axles and suspension broken in big fuck off holes in the road as they drive to school and those walking don't want to be hit by a swerving car or one that loses control because it hit a fucking big pothole ..... you had one job to do, just fix the fucking roads, we pay enough road tax so what is yer problem? 

Well it doesn't look like the graffiti bothered them too much since we can still see it and those road fixes, seriously? A bit of rain will have that back to a hole within a week. Maybe if you resurfaced and maintained the roads you'd save money on half arsed repairs that you can barely do. 

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

FEMA Death Camps To Close

The Federal Emergency Management Agency says it has spent nearly $7 billion in New Jersey alone two years after Superstorm Sandy struck.

Clearing debris, restoring boardwalks and rebuilding critical facilities are not cheap, nor are the flood insurance claims with survivors getting paid $3.5 billion.

A spokesperson for FEMA has stated that of the 800 secret FEMA death camps set up around the US for operation New World Order, at least 1 in every four will have to close causing 345 job loses in the areas as well as millions of dollars in loses to contractors.

KBG a subsidiary of Halloburton had the contract for the over billing for items and services provided by government contractors and now have to close 3 of its offices. The paper work for doing so is estimated to cost the government $43 million.    

FEMA made the mistake of buying $1 billion worth of plastic coffins just before Hurricane Sandy hit in October of 2012. The plastic air tight coffins were to be used to store a huge amount of dead people that a controlled Ebola outbreak would kill but who can predict natural disasters? Obviously in light of the funding troubles the CDC didn't go ahead with a full Ebola outbreak.

Other agencies preparing for various scenarios have also inadvertently caused these jobs loses, not just bad timing and a superstorm but the vying for funds.

The Department of Homeland security have been hoarding ammo to starve out the gun owning population who can hold on to their guns as in the constitution but won't have any bullets.

The DHS refuse to take blame for any of the funding cuts to other departments as they say they have signed the contract for only 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition in the next four or five years, that is roughly the equivalent of five bullets for every person in the United States .... Americans are big folk, you need at least 9 or 10 to put one down so really that isn't a lot of ammo.    

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency or DARPA really have to shoulder most of the blame, it was their High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) base in Alaska that caused superstorm Sandy anyways. 

HAARP was responslibe for the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan, Oklahoma, tornado of 2013, a landslide in 2006 in the Philippines, Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and since it's also mind control not just weather control it is also responsible for the rise of the Kardashians. 

While the much publicized Alaska station has closed as a wrist slap for too many natural disasters in the wrong places there are others all over the world in the various places that the US have taken an interest in. 

News of government agencies with funding trouble has to be depressing news for the man in the street. Welfare and foodstamp recipients have offered to take a cut in order to help them out. Schools have already reduced the amount of learning they are giving out and the healthy school lunches as endorsed by Michelle Obama are smaller and cost a third of what lunches were when the USDA were selling downer cows in meat products .... meat has now been replaced with a less expensive, healthy alternative substance that resembles meat if meat was grey and mushy.  

DARPA is one of the most successful government agencies with its constant news of war robots that amazes and distracts you all the while doing something totally devious. An online petition with 435,000 signatures asks the government to fulfill Obama's promise of prolonged detention for people who "might" cause a crime and each person signing wants to volunteer for this.

The true sheeple

Ever since 2003 the world saw the rise of an evil dynasty more insidious than the Clintons or the bush family have ever been. 
HAARP made the US population and many of those outside the US susceptible to brain wave programming, now 12 years on we are still constantly bombarded with Kim Kardashian selfies and fat butt pictures and even the Da wants to be a woman .... who makes this shit up? .... oh that's right, the evil genius' at DARPA.  

Bruce Jenner went from an all American hero heart throb to ...

Becoming Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Saying that though dude looks like a lady.

Old Knudsen can't take it anymore, OMG what are Kim and Kayne up to? OMG what are the other Kardashians that pose all the time doing and are their Instagram pics photoshopped to make them look better?

OMG Bruce wants rid of his dick but he still wants to date weemen???? Well played DARPA with yer HAARP, now you've reduced the population to useless meat sacks who can't process real information and believe everything they read you've got no where to put them because FEMA are closing their death camps.

Their plastic coffins were sold on e-Bay at a fraction of what they were worth so what are we all to do?
A typical government fuck up DHS don't have enough rounds for all the people and no camps to intern them in. Write to yer representative and demand to be locked away in solitary or into a death camp with no Wi-Fi.

People complain about the over crowding prisons but they get 3 hots and a cot, free healthcare and solitary if they shiv a screw ..... fucking criminals are yet again better off than the law biting peeple.     

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

That Headache Is Karma

Tense nervous headache? ..... Maybe even a migraine, are you are also forgetful and have difficulty understanding sample wrotten wurds.  

First check to see if someone hasn't attached a G-clamp to yer head, probably kids messing around.

You are probably suffering from a braincloud and don't have too much time left or you have a teratoma.

Yamini Karanam a 26 year-old lass from Fockyew Indiana was told she had a brain tumor but due to its position they couldn't operate. She then found this hippy dippy surgeon in Los Angeles who worked with keyhole surgery and didn't care who he cut open as long as they had signed a waiver.

He cut a tiny hole in the base of her skull and sent in a camera to see whats what. Turned out that the tumour was really a teratoma which is a clump of bone, hair and teeth.

 Yer good twin that you killed off.

Thought to be a twin that didn't develop in the womb and was absorbed by the main baby they are often attached to the outer body when born. 

Nagabhushanam from India had teeth growing into her eyeball, every time she brushed them she'd put her eye out. 

Don't bother with pain relief or a neck rub, yer the evil twin and you killed off the good one while in the womb and now it's in yer head killing you.  


Monday, 27 April 2015

Jim Wells Hates Fags

Remember Jim Wells? He's settled into his job as the health minister for Northern Ireland very nicely except that he has just resigned. Yes maybe I was a little hard on him in my previous posts calling the DUP politician a woman hating, Gog bothering, homophobe or maybe I was spot fucking on as usual.

His recent comments that goes onto the long list of homophobic werds and actions by the DUP are that children raised in a same sex partnership are more likely to be abused. Where did he get this information from? .... why his arse that's where.

The DUP keep most of their facts and figures up their holes like how Ian Paisley jr said that allowing gay people to get married would cause fewer heterosexual people to wed. "I am pretty repulsed by gay and lesbianism. I think it is wrong. I think that those people harm themselves and - without caring about it - harm society."

The party leader Peter Robinson is standing by Wells of course, just as he has stood by other homophobic and racist Protestants. He says that the views expressed by Wells are not the view of the DUP and not even Wells' view, I guess he just says shit for fun.

Peter Robinson and his wife Iris believe that homosexuality can be cured by scripture and therapy and when Iris said that a ghey should go get cured Peter defended her by saying "It wasn’t Iris Robinson who determined that homosexuality was an abomination, it was the Almighty."

Iris said:  “There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children.”

Iris has been a lot quieter ever since she was caught helping her young lover set up his dream cafe.

Peter even backed the conscience clause that DUP weasel Paul Givan tried to pass that would discriminate against queers just like the one Indiana had going on.... but oh no, not his party's view.

Peter Robinson said that Jim Wells had been under stress when he made the comments because his poor wife had been in hospital long term after having two strokes, this is not a recent thing and she is doing better now BTW.

So he wasn't under stress when he said that women who were raped should have the baby as it only punished the child if aborted and that 'they' were the ultimate victim. Wells who has not adopted any children himself has said that there are many families willing to adopt unwanted children ... so why do we still have orphanages then?   

At the weekend Jim was going door to door looking for votes and told a leezer couple that he and his party didn't approve of lifestyle choices .... oh dear and now he has done too much damage before an election.

The DUP were scrapping the barrel with him so I wonder what other bigot they have waiting to take his job.

  Jeremy Clarkson said that he punched an assistant producer, not because he wasn't able to get a steak dinner on set because the chief had gone home for the day but because he had a cancer scare on his tongue and was under stress.

(The DUP, Jeremy Clarkson, Ukip and the Daily Mail are all of similar mindsets and so can be connected to in my posts.) 

It's amazing how many people I don't hit or accuse of child abuse when I'm under stress, sure most of you fuckers need a good slap but I'll leave that to karma.
When cunts like Wells, Paisley, Givan, Edwin Poots, Peter and Iris Robinson and Jeremy Clarkson cross the line there are sadly people that agree with them and enough of them to hold the balance of power ....  that is scary and enough to make you question if maybe it's you that is wrong, well unless yer Old Knudsen of course who is never wrong.

Just read and agree with Old Knudsen and yer moral compass will always point true ... ish. 

Gerry Adams from Sinn Fein (the DUP opposition) is just as much a dick as the DUP , he'll support and will order the murdering and disappearing of whoever for his cause but denies everything. He even claims not to know who let the dogs out but that fucker knows. 

When faced with rape and child abuse within his organization (either Sinn Fein, IRA or his family) he'd rather just quietly solve things his way even if that includes belittling the victim as long as the dirt doesn't stick to him.

Bigots and cunts without the guts to come out and say what they believe in because they know in the back of their heads that it is morally wrong. Like saying, "Hitler had some great ideas."

I do agree with Adams when he said about the DUP "we'll break the bastards with equality" was the outrage at calling them bastards or that he'd use equality? Equality is only a weapon in the minds of those that fear it, other people may know it as doing the right thing.

Adams is as much of a hypocrite as anyone in the DUP and has his own fanatical agenda just as they have but we need equality.


If there is a hung parliament in England after the elections of 7th May the Tories may join in a pact with the DUP in order to swing the votes in their favour. This is the DUP's wet dream cum true. They'll be wanting loads of money and protection for their Loyalist marches of bigotry and maybe to teach creationism and not to have sex until married in schools .... wouldn't that be great?

David Cameron has spent years avoiding Northern Ireland, in fact anything outside of London gives him the shits. The DUP are just too stupid to reason with and a Loyalist community that aren't loyal to the crown ..... how can you get anywhere with that?

The English are worried. Sharing power with a religious right wing backwards political party that they have been able to ignore and marginalize as dem der crazy Irish fuckers that make Alabama look enlightened.

 His melted face looks more old lady like each year.

Old Knudsen wants the English to have the full DUP experience and have Peter Robinson with his melted old lady face following Cameron everywhere like Clegg has been doing. Why should we be the only ones to suffer?

Old Knudsen will be voting Alliance as usual, cos there is not much choice. 


Cattle Mutilation Busted

For over a hundred years there have been reports of cattle mutilation in which healthy cows are found dead and with expert medical precision some of their organs have been removed. The eyes, the anus, lips and skin has been stripped from it's skin.

Do you know how hard it is to pinpoint where the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is at all times? Everyone knows that lips and arses are in hotdogs so are they to blame? Yer Big Mac may have 100% beef but from which part of the cow?

When people don't understand something they try to control it by coming up with a theory or conspiracy. The buildings during 9/11 fell down because planes went into them and weakened the structure causing all that weight to fall in on itself, steel does melt otherwise they couldn't make buildings and people wouldn't be employed spraying fire resistant paint onto girders  .... or dumb as fuck Bush planned it all so Haliburton could get lucrative government contracts. No! Bush and friends reacted and made good of a bad situation, as if they were smart enough to plan 9/11.

A cow dies with no one around, must be aliens right? The eyes, lips arse all removed .... no Wienermobile so I'm still thinking aliens. The stomach has been split open and organs have been taken out. 
Satanists also get the blame for shit too, mostly by Christians who have watched too many bad horror movies. 

  Worse than aliens or Satanists, gingers have been known to kill people to make skin suits out of them ...  just for fun.

Why would a technologically advanced race travel billions of light years to carry out vivisection on cattle? Did they advance so fast that television wasn't invented and this is what they do? 

  Add some facial hair to get that natural face vadge look.

Maybe the aliens are so vain that they think that this post is about them and need the Botox injections for those big foreheads.

Aliens hiding from us, cutting open our cows, abducting our hicks for anal rape and probably infiltrating the governments of the world with hybrids so they can ???? I don't know, maybe go to war with others .... cos we were peaceful as fuck before the aliens.

If I were an alien I'd not get involved with humans, too dangerous and unpredictable. What have humans to offer an advanced race of aliens?

Human: Here have some atomic power ....

Alien:  wha? you trying to kill us? we use pritoclonic fuel cells that last forever and don't have harmful contaminated waste, we're just here for yer cow arses. Does my bum look big? We haven't used them to poop with for centuries but I'm thinking of getting some work done. 

Farm animals die, when left to their own devices they eat stuff that could kill them over night. When left for a while the flies that always follow cows will be the first to lay their eggs which hatch into hungry maggots.
The soft tissue always gets eaten first by scavengers, eyes, lips and arse are all soft tissue. The dead animal will bloat and even crack open spilling its guts which will also be eaten. Larger scavengers will eat whatever they can easily get at as very often you only get one chance to nom on a body before the even bigger animals come round.

No tire tracks or human involvement needed. What about the skilled precision of the cuts?  Think about who is seeing this animal, yer usual hay seed from Yokelberg doesn't have medical training so lines or splits may look like a straight cut. Skin shrinks which may make it look like something it isn't.

Even during the Jack the Ripper cases someone exaggerated the medical skill needed to cut up a hoor, they said it had to be someone with medical training .... or a butcher.

Would you compare an NHS surgeon to a butcher? .... ok that was a silly question. Someone who has trained and studied for years to do delicate cuts cannot be compared to someone working at Moy park chicken wearing a chain mail glove on the production line.  

This kind of shit is why Old Knudsen knows that ghosts are real, he eliminates all other possibilities before he even suggests it was real.

It's funny how little UFO's we see now with the invention of the camera phone. We still get some but they turn out to be amazing fakes worthy of Dreamworks or turn out to be a plane or a Chinsese lantern.

If Aliens come to earth they'll avoid us or use us for food or slaves ... maybe they are here and have been doing this successfully for years, that explains the missing people. Ach there I go again trying to make sense of things I can't explain. We all know that 80% of missing people have fallen through a random wormhole event that just manifested itself in front of them, we just need to get them on video.

Look at me mom, I'm so cool, can we put shampoo into its eyes next?   

If in doubt blame humans .... or blame their parents. Humans mutilate more animals than aliens ever have but there is less written about that than the lil green men. Humans are capable of any horror carried out on each other and on animals that you could imagine and are more than willing to do it. 

 School trips rock!

Fistulated cows have a part of their skin removed so you can reach in and take a sample. The experimenters are looking to see how certain foods are digested, sure you could do this in a lab but sticking yer hand into a cow is a lot more fun.

So in Old Knudsen's humble opinion cattle mutilation is a load of ol bollocks. It usually happens in large places that a death cow or two might not even be noticed for a day. There have been cases of it in the UK with sheep and yet again in wilder places (Wales) close to military training grounds .... never to dairy cows that get tended everyday though.
The health of any sheep in Wales is in the balance on a normal day. Sheep get seen to on a daily basis in Ballymena so you'll no hear of aliens there .... unless it's cocaine induced aliens. 

Years ago when Old Knudsen did some caving, spelunking or potholing you'd always find sheep bones or carcases at the entrance of the caves cos the idiot sheep had fallen into them.

So aliens probably don't mutilate cattle for their Botox shots so blame nature and wildlife or humans, I bet it's those immigrants.  


Sunday, 26 April 2015

Pinhead Bible Goes Up The Vacuum

The pinhead Bible or Bible for pinheads went on display at the Israel Museum in Jerusalem. The nano Bible contains 1.2 million letters carved on a gold-plated silicon chip by holy engineers using an ion beam .....  you can't read it so I guess you'll just have to believe.

The Bible marks the Museum's 50th anniversary so the pinheads who made it thought that people would want to see something really useless since they were going to a museum full of dead sea scrolls and old biblical texts anyway ... they certainly know their audience.

You too can have endless hours of fun with some coarse ground pepper, amaze yer friends with yer whole library of pinhead books. 

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Dude Looks Like A Douche Bag

I'm sooo fucking high a seat belt couldn't hold me down.

When the UK gets sun everyone goes crazy, at 72 Fahrenheit or 22 Celsius the old people start to drop dead and people in cars forget how to drive safely. 'Look the sun is out, right of way? Must be me cos it's sunnae.' 

The cost of driving a convertible has been made affordable with the likes of Hyundai and Toyota all bringing them out for those who don't want to buy a BMW or Audi but still want to appear smug and well off. 
As soon as spring hits, the blokes put on their shorts and flip flops and get the old rag top doon and tool around even though it's still fucking cold and rainy. It's usually middle aged blokes and their trophy wife out in the convertible, like the bloke I saw with his top doon, the sun shining and yet his sunglasses were sitting on his head. 

It used to be just paramilitaries who wore sunglasses as people would look at you strangely ... big Hollywood star wearing sunglasses while walking doon Ann street indeed, wind yer neck in. Still too many drivers don't wear sunglasses and surprise early morning sun can be blinding here.  

Reminded me of this dude. 

I bet Mr mid-life crisis also has a landrover or 4x4 truck in his 2 car garage for when we get a slight frost or hint of snow .... oh look at me I'm prepared for anything and you are not. Old Knudsen is not a begrudger, he just wishes bad things to happen to others who do well .... it's so not the same.  

Ben Affleck knows about begrudgers, when he read online that he was going to be Batman the first comment was NNNOOO!!!!! 
Actors do have flops and just bad movies like Ben's Gigli and Jersey Girl but it seems as if the public have a real need to bash Affleck. Is it because he stands up to the likes of Bill Maher when he makes stupid stereotype like comments? The 'yes men' Liberals who fawn over people like Maher did not like Ben having a differing opinion. 
He's not a great actor but he can do the job as good as Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and many others who don't get picked on for every thing they do. 
Argo was said to have been one of the best 11 movies of  2012, Affleck stared and directed it and it must have really been difficult for people to praise him for it .... he didn't get nominated for his acting or directing. Roger Ebert chose it as his best pick for movie of that year. 

After watching the new TV show of Dare Devil you soon appreciate just how not so sucky Ben Affleck actually was. 

On a PBS show about family history it was discovered via the Sony e-mail hack that Affleck asked the show not to reveal that one of his ancestors owned slaves. Others like Anderson Cooper had slave owners in his family tree in fact one of Cooper's ancestors was beaten to death by one of his slaves ... this made him lol. 

   The grand kids were not very impressed when they asked what I did during the woar. 

For a guy who broke up with a lass with a fine huge booty because of media pressure, he may have issues about putting all of his life out there in public. Rather than protecting the Affleck brand he was probably embarrassed about it. It's no big deal though he felt as if he had to come out and apologize because American history needs to be out there, the good and the bad.  
In the US they tend to ignore racism and over react if a white person even looks at a black person the wrong way which is why the media jumped over Benedict Cumberbatch when he said "coloured" when he was really standing up for ethnic actors and meant non-white people rather than black but they still went after him.    
Unless the US police start shooting a lot more unarmed white people to balance out the blacks then there will be a point where the US can't keep looking the other way and will have to discuss the African elephant in the room.  

Why am I mentioning actors? Well it's less depressing than a lot of the news.  

Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner who play Captain Frisbee and the Angry archer in the latest Avengers movie were asked about Black widow and how her character flirts with both of them in the movies and will she get together with either one or maybe even both .... that three way idea made them chuckle and Renner called her a slut and Evans called her a complete whore, it was all in good humour. 

They have since issued apologies: 

Evans wrote the best one.
 “Yesterday we were asked about the rumors that Black Widow wanted to be in a relationship with both Hawkeye and Captain America,” Evans said in a statement provided to EW. “We answered in a very juvenile and offensive way that rightfully angered some fans. I regret it and sincerely apologize.”

Then Renner was a little passive aggressive.
“I am sorry that this tasteless joke about a fictional character offended anyone,” Renner also said in a statement provided to EW. “It was not meant to be serious in any way. Just poking fun during an exhausting and tedious press tour.”

Being a fictional character may allow you leeway to poke fun at however many do link Scarlett Johansson with Black widow and hey should it not be Widow of color?  

When you play heroes on screen and are promoting the movie aimed at kids and adult virgins etc you shouldn't use the terms slut or whore ... just saying like. Should anyone really be using them to describe a flirtatious woman anyway? 

Those who have been oppressed usually have trigger words connected to them and since it's still a man's world you'd better make sure that yer joking comments are made at the right venues even though we know they weren't being serious, it just wasn't funny.   

Robert Downey jr walked off during an interview with Krishnan Guru-Murthy, you may remember him as the guy who asked Quintin Tarantino if there was a link between film violence and real-life atrocities in America just after Sandy Hook when he was there promoting Django Unchained. Not being able to talk about his film an outraged Tarantino walked out. Outraged at the question more than the shooting.

Now Guru-Murthy is at it again, maybe he thinks that the celeb should get a little and then the interviewer should get some. Downey was there to promote the Avengers movie, a fluff film about muscle men who swing big hammers about and turn green.  Guru-Murthy thought this would be the perfect time to talk about Downey's drug abuse and relationship with his father. 

Maybe he should have asked about that jacket instead ... I mean WTF?  Guru-Murthy needs to wait until he gets his own fluffy day time chat show before messing about with promotional tours. 

Saying that I think the actors all need to go and have a wee power nap.   

Friday, 24 April 2015

Same As It Ever Was

So I've got a New York Times article from 1974 talking about the state of the world and how the changing climate is a danger to food production. 41 years ago the talk of climate change was connected with the scientific idea of an approaching ice age, the polar ice caps were fucking thick and getting thicker ever since WWII and this was worrying people ... yeah the exact opposite to what is worrying them today.

With drought in various parts of the world people only worry about a shortage of chocolate or coffee now .... unless you live in those places of course.  

Except when the scientists get it wrong. 

It was predicted that the last 20 years of the 20th century would get even colder ... of course we know that didn't happen and in 1997 the buzz words became Global warming. Hey it's not a fucking science, give them a break.

I'm not a climate change denier, I'm a scientist denier. Of course the climate changes, it has done for centuries otherwise we'd still be in an ice age. The Earth is said to heat up and cool down on a cycle and if humanity speeds up the cycle we'll have another ice age in either a couple of hundred years or 10,000 years .... or maybe not at all, it's science bitches.
Climatologists, is that even a real thing? Or is it like Economists? At least meteorologists are up front about their guessing and use the word 'may' when forecasting the weather. Careers not at all needed in the world yet there are so many in those fields.  

Didn't the last ice age happen due to the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs or do we not think that now? ... geez it's hard to keep up but if you say anything Neil DeGrasse and his followers will mock you on Twatter or something.

    As in 1974 we had floods in Bangladesh in 2014.

A drought in parts of India.

A drought in the Callyfornia.

In 1974 the world population was 4 billion today it is 7.2 billion. Planes were crashing or getting blown up, famous people like Duke Ellington, Charles Lindbergh, Oskar Schindler and Jack Benny died.
The stars of today such as Christian Bale, Jimmy Fallon, Amy Adams, Hilary Swank and American sniper Chris Kyle were born in 1974.

Tornadoes were killing hundreds in the US, Stephen King published his first book and the cunt hasn't let up since .... he just changes the names and keeps the same stories, hidden danger, secret abilities the end.

A hung parliament in the UK which is everyone's fear right now as politicians dismisses how they'll make political pacts in order to win but they'll make them. Labour got back into power in 1974.

Wars in the middle east and Africa. The Rubik's cube was invented and I still can't do it. The IRA and the UVF were being total cunts .... yep some things never change.

Back then as Nixon resigned and the last Japanese soldier surrendered on the Indonesian island of Morota and realised he wasn't going to get his back pay things seemed as if we were on the brink and chaos reigned ... well it does and we are on the brink but that is the way were are. Many brinks are man made and could be avoided if I was allowed to rule the world.

Now the media has got scaring the public down to a fine art, we can't stop climate change but if we recycle we'll feel better huh, people do like to feel in control don't they? No point worrying because things are bound to be ruined by others anyway and if you worry all that will get you in an ulcer and no solutions.

Guns for instance, if people didn't go around shooting school kids etc Old Knudsen would have a fine collection of firearms instead of what he has today which are some medieval style weapons with his arsenal of mostly legal firearms in storage in the US.

No one gets bent out of shape by the amount of car deaths or overdoses by prescription drugs and that is because the media have got scaring the public down to a fine art ... I believe I said that, they know what will work and politicians do like to ruin the lives of others and to look busy and necessary to the world while doing it.

Yer on a ship with a hole in it's hull and yer worried about recycling yer coke can.  Worry about potable water because we'll run out of clean drinking water long before we get to any ice age.

We'll either waste on golf courses in the desert or storm drains directly to the sea or we'll contaminate it with chemicals as we frack the place up.  Climate change? Might as well fret about death and taxis, some things there is no stopping especially if everyone else are going to be cunts about it.        

Thursday, 23 April 2015

The Thrill Of The Selfie

Kendall Jones is a 19 year-old hunter and cheerleader from Texas that likes to kill animals. She killed her first white rhino when she was only 13 years-old, what a gal. There are loads of photos of her online at various ages smiling beside elephants, rhinos, leopards, water buffaloes, crocs .... loads of animals, fuck she is soo hawt!

Democrat Mike Dickinson challenged people's perception of right and wrong by posting this. As like big game killing this is also perfectly legal .... but is it right?

Old Knudsen actually thinks that she is a bit of a minger, sure she is a young, blonde fit chick that could be on TV but even without the dead animal she isn't someone I'd look twice at. Kendall's 15 minutes of fame happened last year but for some reason blonde chicks who enjoy killing animals are common enough. 

Don't you think that fit blonde chicks make hunting look hot? Unlike Old Knudsen this lass Rebecca Francis can't get a hard on when she kills though I'm sure she gets nice and damp. 

She was congratulated for killing a peaceful stationery animal, I'm sure it was difficult. Bow hunting isn't a more sporting way to hunt game than using a high powered rifle, these hunters aren't on the ground within reach of a swipe of a claw or a good pounce, they are way up a tree or a platform hidden from view hence the camo. Why did she kill it?

"The locals showed me this beautiful old bull giraffe that was wandering all alone. He had been kicked out of the herd by a younger and stronger bull. He was past his breeding years and very close to death. They asked me if I would preserve this giraffe by providing all the locals with food and other means of survival. ... I chose to honor his life by providing others with his uses and I do not regret it for one second. They did not waste a single part of him. I am grateful to be a part of something so good." 

Then she posed for some respectful selfies. Oh look an animal on its own, better kill it as it is probably close to death anyways, the locals are licking their lips so why not? 
Other animals she has bravely killed are a 10 1/2 ft. brown bear, black bear, shiras moose, Alaskan moose, dall sheep, stone sheep, desert bighorn ram, rocky mountain bighorn ram, mule deer, whitetail deer, elk, mountain goat, antelope, arapawa ram, kudu, zebra, black wildebeest, giraffe, springbuck, blesbuck, lynx, badger, and squirrel. 

Gotta keep the wildlife in its place. 

There are about 80,000 giraffes in Africa, a decline of 60,000 in the past 15 years, people like Francis are making sure they decline even more.    

Is this a case of a movie coming out like 101 Dalmatians or Beverly Hills Chihuahua and everyone gets the dog? So with Hunger games every chick wants a bow.   

This cunt thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt,  a S&W 500 will do to a 2700 lb, 18'6" giraffe at 56 yards ... so fucking tough, is that while it's standing there eating or while its trying to get away? 

You can hunt giraffes on the ground, not much danger there and you can see it for miles. Why do people think they are tough because they kill a herbivore? One safari organizer will charge $65 to kill jackals and baboons or if you have the money it'll cost you $8,000 for a Hippo. You just don't wander about hoping for an older giraffe that the locals want to nom on.   

  I choked the chicken until I came. 

Like serial killers they start small, they kill bugs then rodents then pets before moving onto people. 

Mark Zuckerberg started with lobster, then he choked his chicken and before long he was slitting a pig's throat before getting a gun to kill a bison. 
At least he eats what he kills though he justifies it by saying the meat is tender and sweeter than beef and how we should take responsibility for what we eat killing it I suppose. Can he not afford the best cuts of meat? Maybe he just enjoys killing animals, is that so wrong? I think it's rather odd that he chooses to kill when he doesn't have to. 

It's time for a secret, that boy, he just ain't all there, we have to talk about Mark, he knows yer every move because you've given him yer personal details and he be cray cray.

I killed a cat lol!

Kristen Lindsey a 31 year-old veterinarian from Texas bragged about how she used her first bow to kill a feral cat in her back yard. It turns out that Tiger was not so feral, he had just been missing from home for 2 weeks.

Kristen with her mom Becky ... creepy furtive eyes are a family thing huh.

Tiger ain't coming home. The Washington Animal Clinic quickly fired her even though she had posted that she was too awesome to fire and local prosecutors are deciding whether or not to press criminal charges. Did she decide to be a vet so she could kill animals?  I wonder if she was playing Hunger games in her back yard. 

Since I eat meat I can't really say anything about hunting for food ... unless you don't have to then yer just a weirdo that gets off on killing animals. Old Knudsen has hunted in his life but didn't take any joy in it and so doesn't any more. 
He hunts his exotic meat (kangaroo) in the freezer section at Lidl, it's Deluxe brand and comes in a box, meat in a box, how fucking classy can ya get?  If you told me 20 years ago that I'd be eating deluxe meat from a box I'd assume that I won the lotto or married the Queen. 

Professional hunter and fat bloke pissed off Nellie.

Ian Gibson had been tracking an elephant bull during its rutting season in North Zimbabwe. Even though they are known to be aggressive when rutting Gibson had a client that wanted to kill an elephant and the customer is always right. So this dickhead got around 50 metres from it when it decided to charge them, he got off one shot before it squished him like a fat bug. 

The client was unharmed :(   

Elephants 1 humans nil .... yeeeooohhh!!!! um my condolences go out to the Gibson family, no not really. 

 I like animals ... that's why I like to kill them. He shot himself lol!

"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." ~ Ernest Hemingway. 

I've wondered how hippos could possibly kill 3,000 people per year but if wankers are going out there to shoot them then I suppose they get to meet and kill loads of people. 

Creatures so dangerous that they need to be hunted. Scorpions kill 5,000 people per year, snakes 50,000, Tsetse Flies 40,000, Mosquitoes 1,000,000, Bees 53 people and Ants 30 people and the hidden danger .... 150 people a year are killed by falling coconuts, not sure if this is falling from the trees or while they are carried by swallows.  

 Maybe I'm being a hypocrite but this lass posing with dead coconuts is ok in my book.

The real animals who have been fighting back, Leopards kill 15 people per year, African lions 70, Tigers 100 people, Domestic dogs 180 people ... they are waiting for you to nap. Cape buffalo 200 a year, Elephants kill 500 a year, just ask Ian, Crocodiles around 2000 people but humans are the number one killer of people in the world each year ... we rock! 

Don't kill animals for fun or sport, it isn't cool. If you don't eat it then don't kill it. Nature is disappearing, don't hurry it along, it is not an infinite resource so value it while it lives.

Honour the food on yer plate from Lidl or Tesco by appreciating it because not everyone has food so thank the universe that it is they who are suffering while you pig out on bacon flavoured donuts or whatever. Thank yer roast chicken for its sacrifice even though it didn't have a choice, manners cost nothing.