2015 The International Year Of Taking Offense

What a year 2015 has been .... what a shite year. Not just Old Knudsen but many others have had a shite year too.
If you were looking to invest in Syrian real estate or if you worked in the Syrian tourist agency just give up and go live somewhere nice like Libya, Tunisia or Ukraine.

On a personal note Ma Knudsen, the she-devil that raised such a fine man (my brother Lars) died at the very end of December 2014 and put a dampener on the start of 2015 ... way ta go Ma, such a dick move.

Another dick move was friend and former wife Tachae Matkovcik also dying. Old Knudsen had been going through his own self wallowing shit and missed Facebook for a day and of course that was when she died. Always the drama with that one.

Leonard Nimoy also went to the cosmic soup. I met him at a book signing in Belfast once, I'll never forget his words to me, "thank you" said in that booming classically trained voice of his, aye, we were tight.  

So yeah, a sucky start to the year. Killing hookers, committing hate crimes and showing my willy in public just didn't have the same appeal as it usually did. While spraying "Go home niger" .... (correct spelling is for the weak) on a hoose wall I said to myself, "there must be more to life" I didn't even break any windies, I just left a pig's head off at the Islam center and went home early.

Picking up weemen for fantastic sex followed by a nice cup of tea just seemed to merge into one. I even stopped asking what their names were ....  like I want their life story.

Boko Harem killed 2,000 people in the first month of 2015, Houthi forces backed by Iran over threw the US backed Yemeni government. The Yemeni president fled to Saudi Arabia and began a bombing campaign the very next day .... isn't it ironic, yeah I really do think ... and people complain about Assad bombing his own people.
So much hype against ISIL, ISIS, IS, Daesh, ISholes and Assad. Just keep saying the names and saying how much we need to bomb them until everyone else starts to say it too.

Nice things did happen. While Northern Ireland had same sex marriage rejected (by the evil DUP) the Republic of Ireland which has been molested and abused by a powerful Catholic church for centuries voted to legalize it. The next thing to legalize is abortion. The courts in Northern Ireland have deemed the N.I. abortion laws to be against human rights so we'll wait and see if anything happens.

The US also voted in favour of ghey marriage and many Christians had a shit fit. When Jesus said 'love thy neighbour' he obviously didn't mean fags  ..... Christians are so lovely.

Supergirl getting super pounded.

Celebrities had their private photos leaked which is a gross breach of privacy and shame on anyone that posts them ... whatever. The photos leaked and millions of nerds leaked into hankies right after that. If the actresses had leaked sex tapes like everyone else then we wouldn't have wanted to see them naked so it is totally their fault .

Slut shaming and victim blaming became a big thing .... but they were probably asking for it.

Even those who had been raped couldn't say that by hanging out with the wrong people and becoming impaired due to drinking too much went towards them being raped without being condemned by people that obviously know better.
The US police couldn't even shoot unarmed black people without getting abuse and getting the local Walmart looted and burned down in protest.

2015 was the year of taking offense at everything .  

Ghey cakes and flowers for ghey marriages spoiled happy occasions.  A Muslim boy couldn't even take a clock to school without being labeled a terrorist and don't get me started on the Starbuck's war on Christmas .... those evil fuckers

A typical plane journey. 

A German plane crashed into the Alps killing 150, turned out that its co-pilot was a little unhinged. A plane full of Russians was blown up over Sinai killing 217. The things are heavier than air, they shouldn't be up there it's too dangerous!

We are all in this together, which is why I personally fight against Daesh instead of sending others. 

A Tunis museum attack in March that left 22 dead got mostly ignored but when another attack on a Tunis beach killing 38 (30 being British) the media took notice and David Cameron used it as an excuse to bomb the Daeshbags in Syria.  

Al-Shabaab kills 147 people in Kenya ... the world mostly doesn't notice. It didn't notice the 100 killed at a peace rally in Turkey either.

However, when 130 people are killed by ISholes in Paris the world loses its shit.... The French government uses this as an excuse to bomb Syria.

Um ..... anyone else seeing a pattern here?

Old Knudsen was transferred from Iraq and began training moderate Islamic fanatics in Syria (on the sly) it turns out that the moderate fanatics he was training were secretly severe fanatics who went on to join the ISholes .... Doh!
I'm gonna say it, those fellas all look the fucken same to me, sure I can tell sheep from each other but this lot are fucken sandsavage clones.

I did manage to set up the Free Syrian Army which are the rebels fighting Assad, the best 5 lads you'd ever hope to meet, good at fleeing too. They are based in Turkey in order to keep them safe.

Now Obama and the CIA are werking with Assad but don't tell the public. 

Bruce Jenner the Conservative ex sports star said he identified as being a woman. Still not too big into the whole ghey marriage thing. The Hollywood Liberals embraced her enough to give her an award for courage. The husband of a 9/11 responder who had previously accepted the award in honour of his dead wife called bullshit and gave it back .... courage is not dressing up as a woman in Malibu.

Yes Bruce did become Caitlyn to upstage Kim and Kanye, I thought I had a fucked up family. If he wants to call himself a she then whatever, but until you grow an extra chromosome then what you really are is a dude. He still has his dick for fucks sake, he hasn't had the op.

Caitlyn is busy playing dress up and hogging the limelight if possible and I would not be surprised if she starts to use a fake tan and gets corn rows just like Rachel Dolezal who is as black as Old Knudsen's taint, wipe yer face lass with a bit of soap, the dirt comes off.

The Brits got very excited to put a Briton into space .... wow, big deal, the Canadians had a fucken singing astronaut, our bloke drinks tea.
There was lots of talk about Mars missions and someday we hope that a Brit will be the first person to die there. 

2015 went from starting as a shitty year and continued as one, The Americans kept shooting each other and bombing everyone else. The Anti-Christ Obama admitted he was an Islamic terrorist from Kenya and pardoned himself. 

At the end of his second term the US is better than it was under Bush .... it's still a shit hole and there are 5 times as many bombs being dropped in other countries but it's still better than it was. Even though the elections aren't until November 2016 we've had nothing but US presidential nopefuls filling up the Internet. Hilary has already picked out her curtains and wallpaper for the White House so I don't know why they bother.  

    

Trump with his soulmate Katie Hopkins

Donald Trump has been accused of being such an asshole that he is actually working to elect Hilary, newsflash, she doesn't need the help. 

He has insulted the beaners and the ragheads and has told so many lies to fuel racism that even Arab billionaires are going out of their way to have a Twitter feud with him. Hundreds and thousands of British have signed a petition to keep him out of the UK and he still ticks away at being offensive. 

The ultimate ugly American abroad he employs immigrants while complaining they are taking American jobs only the likes of the poorly educated and those filled with hate even like the guy .... Putin sees a use for him should he become president, that right there says a lot. 

Star Wars came out with a new movie, if it's as shite as the other 6 then ... it'll be shite. JJ Abrams directed it and since he rebooted Star Trek to great effect it will probably be decent. SPOLIER ALERT, C3PO finally comes out of the closet and Leia sucks her brother off in an attempt to generate more memes.  

This year people died, people were born and shit happened. Old Knudsen remained constant in his disdain for all of you. 2016 will be another year with bad and good, don't let the fucker bring you doon.

Je suis a cunt! 

My Big Ghey American Wedding

It's great news that the supreme court in the US has made ghey marriage legal in all 50 states. Great news for blokes wanting to marry other blokes and even better news for wedding planners and divorce lawyers.

We here at Knudsen and Knudsen attorneys at law will fight for you. yer loved one wants custody of the wee African you adopted together? .... well we can tear doon their reputation and even frame them for a crime if you wish, anything to win cos that is what it's about.

Knudsen and Knudsen

Established in 1983 an old wank sock became sentient and got a law degree and now we fight for you!

Want to keep yer tastefully decorated home? We can't blame you, 80% of our cases have a 40% success rate in favour of 8% of our clients ... we don't do no math, we do LAW!

Did that special other go from being yer twin flame to being that bitch in a boa? We can intimidate or vanish them to a government experimentation center .... because we can!

Sure some cunts like the governors in Louisiana and Texas are trying to pressure their counties not to wed gheys, they will be visited by the angel of death as God loves fags!

 Warning, this is really Old Knudsen, put yer hands where I can see them.

Let Knudsen and Knudsen take you on yer journey of wedded bliss by planning yer wedding and then taking sides with the person with the most money for yer divorce. We'll even vet yer partner with a honey trap to see if they are likely to cheat ...  Who couldn't resist the wit an charm and purdy mouth of Old Knudsen?

If gheys want marriage then they'll have to accept divorce too as written by Jesus in the Bible. If you aren't jaded and cynical enough to hire Old Knudsen to fight for you in court then just hire him to fight for you at parties .... all the big Hollywood A-listers are doing it like John Cryer and Clint Howard, I will bite off a hobo's ear for YOU! 

 

Try Giving up The Hate

This is the only fruit that will touch my lips.

Trestin Meacham a failed politician who once ran as a Conservative Party candidate for the Utah State Senate has got himself some free publicity for his next failed campaign by failing to stand by his principles. 

He fasted for 15 days after declaring how he would not eat until Utah willingly disobeys the federal government by reinstating its ban on same-sex marriages. 

Over the past 2 weeks 900 same sex couples got wed and even though the minions of the right wing Christian bigots tried to get them nullified the Supreme Court ruled them to be lawful, the case goes to a federal appeals court. 

With his fiancee who said he was too chubby anyways.  

Meacham who is not homophobic and has ghey friends just doesn't think that gheys should be allowed equal rights and that his opinion which seems to match with God's opinion that gheys who raise children cause the kids harm ....  unlike those with straight parents like Jeffrey Dahmer had. 

He says that the court ruling violated the U.S. Constitution by infringing upon state rights.... Maybe I've heard Fleggers speak too many times but when I hear that I also hear, 'chipping away at our culture and heritage.' 

Cognitive complexity .... it ain't there. 

For the world's biggest religion, Christians are a bunch of whiny victims. Like how a rich businessman doesn't get rich by being nice I suppose Christians don't become the biggest religion by respecting others.

2.8million residents in Utah are members of the Mormon Church, the dominant force in the state's legal and political circles. The church was also the force behind Callyfornia's short-lived ban on same-sex marriage, Proposition 8.


They believe that homosexuality is a sin and that marriage should be between a man and his wife, and other wife, and other wife, and other wife etc etc.

Meacham lost 26 LBS but gained more followers on twitter. He ended his hunger strike with a mouthful of creamy yoghurt and and a deep throated banana and says he is done with hunger strikes, next time he'll give up something far more important .... football. 

At least while his team are losing and no important games are being played huh. It's just a matter of time before he gives up his hot gurlfriend in protest, those that protest the most often have a whiff of Narnia about them.

Same Sex Marriage Causes Divorce

Nick and Sarah Jensen are an Australian Christian couple who have been happily married for 10 years and have children.

They have said that if Australia legalizes ghey marriage they'll divorce in protest as ghey marriage undermines "our most sacred institution" but will still live together IN SIN so it's not as if they are really getting divorced.

Jesus never mentioned ghey marriage but he was certainly against divorce. 

Nothing like putting the frighteners on yer kids who see other parents getting divorced and how different things are, the couple say that things will not change but Nick will probably end up converting the garage for his bedroom/den and will have young female friends over now and again.

Sarah will continue her drinking and her constant berating of Nick who has not been a "real man" for years.    

So for the sanctity of marriage they are willing to divorce .... sounds like Northern Ireland Loyalist logic to me, 'we're Loyalists but refuse to obey the Queen's law.'  

Should we care about Nick and Sarah's fucked up living arrangement? Maybe they should have gotten divorced before they bred.

Remember when you were younger and you'd tell the person you were dating that if they broke up with you you'd kill yerself?  .... oh, just me then? Well this sounds like that. 

Same sex marriage does then cause straight couples to divorce, but only the stupid ones.

Free Presbyterian Minister In Denial

Reverend Ian Brown from Paisley's old church, Martyrs Memorial Free Presbyterian Church in Belfast has said that Europe is being punished for being wicked with homosexuality and the rise of ISIS.
The crazy as fuck firebrand Free Presbyterian minister said that God .... the Christian god, is using homosexuality and Islamic terrorism to punish us for our greed, covetousness and wickedness. He even said that the rise of Hitler was all God too.

Usually God would send locusts or frogs but because of climate change he is now sending ... exploding bum bandits????? Beheading bean flickers?????

The gheys and Daesh/ISIS in a holy alliance, doing God's bidding. 

He said in his sermon: 

"That's why the dark spectre of ISIS is closing in on us today from the east and homosexuality closing in from the west."

If I were him I'd do a quick dodge north or south ... no not south, they have ghey marriage there. He blamed the liberal elite (Matt Damon and Oprah probably) for using the "sodomites" for their own agendas and even blamed Barack Obama for being "complicit" in this attack on decency. That doesn't surprise me, that Obama fella is like that.

"They want to infect us with their huge throbbing cocks, giving us just a taste and then making us beg for more, they'll spit in our faces and call us a bad and nasty boy and will use God's wraith shoved in deep until we cry out Jehovah in pain then they'll pull out and explode all over my back with the warm poison of sin but that won't be the end for they'll pass me around like a broken toy as they call out ungodly names like Allah, Allen and Jeff leaving me, er you lying in a pool of wickedness marveling at God's might."    

Someone needs to go back to Sunday school ... and maybe therapy cos didn't they create Satan to blame all the bad shit on?
If God is really responsible for ISIS and even Hitler then I think God really does need a time out. As for homosexuality, no one is making you swallow the gravy and lick the shaft, useless Bill Cosby gave you a drink then who knows what he'll have you do. Daesh will cut yer fucking head off the gheys are not likely to ask you to marry them.

Do idiots like this think ghey marriage is compulsory? ... that would explain all the irrational fear.

I'd love to know what he thinks about the Holocaust but I suspect I already know. Is he drinking from Ian Paisley's Holy Grail of crazy? Well the name says it all, 'Free Presbyterian' free from any sense, logic, empathy and intelligence.    



 

God Hates The Ivory Coast

Fuck off Derek you fag, I know it's fucking wrong!

Westboro Baptist Church has really lost its edge, remember when we all hated them and wanted them to die in a fire? .... oh we still do? 

Now they are something just to be mocked. Like the bloke in Corn market ... Belfast, handing out Bible tracts and every time someone takes one he shouts "God bless you" or "Hallelujah" or the Jehovah Witnesses who stand like silent smiling statues hoping you are dumb enough to take a flyer ... mock mock mock!   

The Westboro Baptist Church couldn't find Leonard Nimoy's funeral to picket in February for some vague reason. Even though all the atheists had claimed Nimoy as one of them his family fooled the world with a Jewish ceremony. Westboro were quite annoyed that no one leaked the address, I bet they stayed up all night making Star Trek signs an shit. 

The Ivory coast has a fag flag!

Recently during a Westboro protest they decided they didn't like Ireland for giving people the democratic choice for same sex marriage, what the fuck do the people know? Sodom and Begorrah right?   

Americans love the Irish so this hatred did not seem right. They got an Irish flag and danced jigs on it. The people of Ireland looked on bemused (probably drunk) 

They also had a sign that called the flag of the Ivory coast a fag flag ....huh? ... it's not excessively manly but I wouldn't call it a fag flag.

Ach don't worry, Loyalists who spend years hating everything Irish even though ironically they are Irish as were their ancestors get confused too. A football shop on the Shankill Road ... Belfast, had to put up a notice during the world cup to stop complaints and death threats.

No nation or group of people hold the monopoly of being thick as fuck though these days it's safe to assume that religious people and fleggers are really that dumb.

Flegger extraordinaire Willie Fraser saw an Italian flag flying at a school for world something day and ranted that it had become an IRA training ground.   

I hope this post helps you if you are going to slag off the Ivory Coast or the Republic of Ireland as I wouldn't want you looking any more dumber than you already are. 

Peter Robinson Dead

Tired after surfing porn all night Sunday that he had a heart attack on Monday. Yes yes yes all the jokes about 'oh he has a heart?' yeah yeah this is as serious as a heart attack so quit being glib.

Mr Robinson the leader of the DUP has a family you know, they are no doubt worried about him .... being the main bread winner an all.

He was rushed to the Ulster hospital at Dundonald where after a 12 hour 2 minute wait doctors told him he'd had a heart attack and they'll put through an urgent referral for him to see someone that knows about hearts, a cardiologist or an agony aunt or something so keep an eye out in the mail for an appointment letter in the next 2 or so months.... if you are still alive.

And that is why the NHS is so dear to us.  

Edwin Poots and Sammy Wilson happened to be there on the scrounge for any spare pills.  

Other experts (the Internet) have speculated that the Irish referendum for ghey marriage that was passed was too much for him ... what if Northern Ireland were to be as democratic too? How could his party block same sex marriage then? Before you know it weemen will have the right to choose and they'll be having abortions and gheys will be getting married and no children will be born ever again and who would the clergy, politicians and the TV presenters molest?

Some (me) have also claimed that he was fuming about the post that Old Knudsen did that featured him   or that his God decided that it wasn't homosexuality that was an abomination as stated by his wife and backed up by him but rather it was his version of Christianity that focused on hate and his straight marriage in which he sends his wife for psychiatric help after she gives into some toy boy cock is actually an abomination.

God can only take so much bullshit in his name before he starts smiting you know, this was a warning shot. The rainbows over Ireland after the ghey marriage vote should have clued you in.



  

The DUP Call For The Great Wall Of Ulster

Peter Robinson leaving church this morning.

Peter Robinson the leader of the DUP in Northern Ireland has called for a wall to be built along the border with southern Ireland to keep the gheys out. 

"In light of their referendum on same sex marriage we need a large wall to keep them out or they'll be coming up here infecting good Christian people with their sin and forcing them to marry homosexuals. I hear that Gerry Adams married 3 men yesterday though he denies it all."

Asked if he thought that his plan would seem a little homophobic to the public he said: 

"It doesn't matter what people think, it's in the Bible ... sure I can't give you the exact quotes but I'm sure it's in there somewhere, maybe at the back, I haven't actually read it but I hear it's very good, like Game of thrones but more rapey."

His wife The whore of Babylon Iris wasn't with him at the service as she tends to writhe in pain when she steps upon holy ground and the screaming and the smoke rising from her is very distracting for the minister giving the sermon. 

The Irish government issued a statement saying that they welcome the building of a wall and if they get a break from all the cock sucking they may even help to build it. 

A Shout Out To All Me Homies

Every day is about Old Knudsen, men want to be him and weemen want to do him ... sometimes the other way around but I just take who or what comes because it's all good and in the werds of Jesus, "It is better to be a giver than a taker but with enough lube the possibilities of love are endless."

Today is Old Knudsen's birthday, he has warts that are older than many of you which get their own telegram from the Queen ... do we still do telegrams? Ach I lost touch with camera phones, why have a camera on yer phone to take pictures of yer ear? I'm no a technophobe, I believe that robots should be allowed to get married and do not think it lessens the sanctity of closed circuits.

If Gog had intended robots to only use male and female plugs then he wouldn't have created adapters.


Being an adult yer presents are usually shite for yer birthday and if everyone you know is dead yer cards dry up like Callyfornia. I stopped trying to impress my postman years ago by sending meself cards but I do still go to the bakery section of Tesco and spray me slobbers over their cakes ... maybe I'll go to Ashers bakery for that this year. When Old Knudsen blows his candles out everyone seems to suddenly go off cake. 

    Can't wait for the zombie apocalypse as choice and consent will be meaningless.

You maybe concerned over the bigger issues like earthquakes in butt fuck Nepal, Daesh in Palmyra or what Simon Pegg said about Sci-Fi being childish or maybe even the rape of  Sansa Stark ... she was asking for it by the way and Ramsay is merely a product of bad parenting and society in general.

Try to drag yerself away from cat videos and selfies for 5 minutes and look at the Republic of Ireland. Today the bog trotters are to have a referendum on whether same sex marriage should be legal or not. Old Knudsen doesn't give a crap about marriage in the eyes of God or what Jesus didn't say but he is concerned about equality, doing the right thing and hates bullies. 

  After a few swigs of this I'll explain to you what the earth custom of turd burgling is. 

Of course I can't depend on humans being concerned for their fellow man ... or woman, it just isn't very Christian. Religion has always been about keeping someone in their place and never about equality. 

Gheys have been happy for too long and why should they have all that disposable income? Let them suffer the ills of marriage like everyone else. Rather than doing the right thing and voting for equality, vote to crush their souls and dreams instead. 

Also it would really show up Northern Ireland which is the only part of the UK that doesn't have ghey marriage, or abortion either. Imagine the south being all enlightened an shit, after years of being compared with Mexico they now make us look bad .... we who riot over a flag being flown as per the Queen's household rules and not when we want to fly it, aye it's difficult to make us look bad.

Like yer neighbour getting a new car and washing it everyday while yer 15 year-old Ford Fiesta collects dirt because that's what is holding it together. 

Never mind winter, here cums a white Christmas.

So Ireland, though I have an Irish passport but cannae vote I'd like a birthday present of equality please.  I'm no going to remind you how many times Old Knudsen has saved the werld or that you'd all be speaking Scroll instead of leprechaun if it wasn't for him.   

No pressure however if you vote no I will rub me blight all over yer potatoes again so you'd have to buy yer spuds from butt fuck Idaho wherever that is. 

Old Knudsen shares his birthday with George Best, Morrissey, Harvey Milk, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Richard Wagner, Sir Laurence Olivier, Paul Winfield, Dale Winton, Naomi Campbell and Katie Price.   

Why we Vote

Leonard Beattie stood amongst the 3.9 million Ukip voters in the UK and voted for the Green party, he just recently died from a broken heart after hearing the election results.

Weird things have been happening in the UK with the majority of people voting for more Tory action with the rest either voting Labour or Green because it's anything but Tory or the protest vote of voting Ukip. The Liberal Democrats and Labour in Scotland were shown the door.

Voting for Ukip is like staying in an abusive relationship, trying not to see any faults and pretending that everything is fine. I'm dating a white supremacist triple murderer on parole but he's down to earth so it'll be good.

Do people do the right thing? 

I hope the ghey marriage referendum in Ireland becomes the exception but people do not vote based on doing the right thing. Using the argument if you vote this yer supporting equality sort of thing doesn't work ... many don't care as doing the right thing should come with terms and conditions and maybe some form of payment.

What's in it for me? or I have mine I'm alright. 

Political parties don't care, they shift and move with the environment. Ukip in Northern Ireland is against ghey marriage, gheys in general and certainly against abortion for weemen ... 3.9 million voters in the UK can't be wrong, right?

What those 3.9 million voted for was something other than Conservative but not Liberal. The Ukip manifesto has loads of popular promises that would appeal to the everyday life of the common pleb ... of course how could they possibly deliver?

They would have lower income people paying less or no taxes, well off people paying more taxes and somehow make big corporations pay their fair share of taxes ..... you can tell who they are trying to appeal to and it's not people who know anything about finance.

No tax on building repairs or sanitary products .... quirky but popular yet again.

They want to leave the EU and make it harder for immigrants to settle here.

20,000 more nurses 8,000 more doctors and 3,000 midwives from thin air because it's popular.

Loads of other promises like free parking at hospitals, paying more carer's allowance, triple prison sentences for animal cruelty, supporting the fishing industry by letting catch as much as they want, tax breaks for pubs and reversing the smoking ban, no votes for criminals, end multi lingual formatting on documents, remove funding promoting multiculturalism, a two-state solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict, restore the military to 2010 levels, keep our Trident nuclear subs, build 1 million new homes in 5 years, give medals to all veterans, build homes and give jobs to veterans .... all very nice for the common pleb who don't like thinkin.

No bring back hanging for pedos?  

Aren't you supposed to moan and groan more? 

No sex education for primary school children, let them figure it out from porn like the rest of us. Yes Old Knudsen did rent out ghey porn by mistake ... uh yeah, a total mistake.

Of course then there is the Ukip support of fracking and bringing back the coal industry .... very forward thinking and environmentally friendly.

3.9 million people voted for Ukip, a party that likes to stagnate in the past and is against ghey marriage and abortion ... oh but that is just in Northern Ireland right? ... like I said, people won't do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing but Hitler Ukip has gotten it right in blaming others.
If you have someone else to blame such as Liberals and Immigrants then the people are most likely to vote for you because fear and anger is a more powerful tool to use, especially in a dissatisfied population.

Britain First the racist neo-Nazi group of tossers endorsed Ukip for the election so that should tell you something right there. I'm sure the EDL and other so-called patriot groups voted Ukip too.

If you enjoy pub life, aren't told too much about the real world and don't care about it, think yer children should grow up like you and that flying a flag makes you patriotic then you've found yer people.

Tomorrow when Ireland votes for or against ghey marriage I suggest you vote for it, not because equality is the right thing to do but because it will make the gheys fucking miserable as soon as they get yon ring on and their same sex spouse gets fat.   

Vote For Anyone Else

 

So it's voting tomorrow, I don't need to say that if you vote DUP, TUV or UUP that yer supporting bigotry and are a part of the problem .... that should be pretty clear by now.

If you vote Ukip then just stop wasting my air please ....  Ukip leader David McNarry will be voting against all attempts to - "redefine marriage or liberalise abortion law in Northern Ireland." 

If you are female, ghey or both and you vote for these parties, yer too dumb to save because they hate what YOU stand for and want to keep you as second class citizens.  

If for some reason you vote Conservative .... you aren't using yer head and just think that Cameron looks like a proper Prime Minister and that Ed Miliband  reminds you of Mr Bean which is fair enough I suppose. Lets vote for anyone but the self-entitled right wing twats .... trust me on this, Old Knudsen wouldn't steer you wrong. If he ran the werld it would be a better place, this shite is a doddle as long as you don't fuck it up. 

  Cum and marvel over God's creation.

Paul McLean from the DUP in Mid Ulster, said he took the 'biblical perspective' when looking at issues such as homosexuality and marriage equality because all that thinking and forming opinions really does hurt yer head.  

"The biblical perspective speaks against it, and I take the biblical perspective, I don’t agree with the process, but I have no issue with the people. It goes against the bible’s stance - so I don’t believe it should be legal."

He has no problem with gheys he just doesn't think they deserve equal rights and has expressed his personal view that homosexuality should be made illegal again though the DUP have said that they are not promoting that policy as of this time even though its party leader has said that homosexuality was against Christian teachings.

McLean said:  

"As a Christian who believes in the stance of the bible I believe it (homosexuality) is morally wrong. It is spiritually wrong and I don’t think it should be legal."

He then said:

"I believe that those people are human beings and need to be treated as such."

I'm pretty sure that this shows he has an issue with the people, I'm surprised he didn't say 'those' people.Yeah hey I don't have any problem with black people I just think that slavery is good, they had slaves in the Bible you know.

The last bit in no way makes up for what he is saying, like most of the Bible it is contrary. However he didn't say that all human beings should be treated with respect by him, he was just stating a half arsed fact. Like Jims Wells telling the two leezers that their lifestyle was an abomination and then trying to apologise, that right there is classic abuse tactics.  

I wonder what other things McLean he has gone to the Bible in order to get a perspective for. If only he'd actually read the Bible instead of having what to think given to him by people who have read it with their own agenda in mind. 

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.  ~ Oscar Wilde

God Loves Gay Marriage

Political parties that make decisions for you based on Bible scripture .... so much fail it's hard to comprehend.
If the DUP and other so-called "Christian" orientated political parties decide on same sex marriage based on their interpretation of a badly written thousands of years old book then what is stopping them from deciding other things that they just haven't told you about? 

The US is deciding on whether or not to make marriage equality the law in every state.

The DUP considers homosexuality an abomination and will say how they have nothing against gheys it's just that the Bible .... oh so that's yer excuse to be a bigot, the Bible made me do it. They have nothing against blacks either, they think every home should have one, they save on the woman doing all the hoose werk. 

The DUP leader Peter Robinson should read that bit about let he who is without sin cast the first stone or would he interrupt that as being ok to stone people? ... The DUP are good Protestant white men surely any of their sins don't count. 

Like Hilary standing by Bill after he was sucked off by the chubby intern, Peter stood by Iris when she had an affair with a younger man. When I say stood by he made sure everyone knew she was getting treated for mental illness because hey, she must be fucking nuts to cheat on him right?

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."  ~Proverbs 12:4

Nowhere in the Bible does it state that marriage is between a man and a woman. Back then there were no marriage certificates and the government did not get involved in such matters, it was between you and God. The whole man and woman, laws of the government etc is a modern invention. Unions were made to strengthen families and clans or to get a few extra goats.

"Rehoboam loved Maacah the daughter of Absalom above all his wives and concubines" ~ Chronicles 11:21

Fuck yeah DUP, of course the weemen weren't allowed boy toys cos that is just immoral. He had eighteen wives and sixty concubines, and fathered twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters.   

Of course lets not forget the divorcees ... cunts! The divorce rate in the UK is at 42% with 71% of divorces on the first marriage. One in seven were doon to adultery so you can't go blaming the gheys on destroying the sanctity of marriage.   

" For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife." ~ Malachi 2:16

So the DUP and other Gog bothering political parties like the US Republicans would make divorce illegal .... even though the DUP's Protestantism was created out of spite when the Pope refused to let Henry number 8 divorce, oh the irony. 

They are always banging on to make homosexuality illegal too like it was in 1982 in Northern Ireland. I believe the 70's and 80's were the DUP's perfect time with big Ian Paisley yammering away, well off Protestant land owners having more than one vote and the police and the soldiers being on their side against the papes, like how the Tories, Ukip and the GOP dream about 1950's values and a time when weemen and ethnic people knew their place. 

After twisting the Bible to conform into making homosexuality an abomination you'd better add  eating pork, rabbit, or any seafood that does not have scales (lobster, crab, clams) as abominations too.

So DUP Bible laws would be:

1)No gheys, maybe prison or werk camps for them.

2)No divorcing yer abusive spouse.

3)Yer allowed to stone sinful weemen. 

4)No bacon and no prawn cocktail crisp sandwiches. 

5)Segregated schools Catholic/Protestant like how most schools still are, didn't Paul say something about no taigs welcome? 

6)Band parades through all the Fenian housing areas cos Jesus loved a good march. 

7)Multiple wives and gurlfriends for the blokes.

 

I can't speak for you but I was sorta on board until number 4. The stoning of weemen would of course lead back to the hanging and burning of witches (old, poor and disabled people) like in the good ol 1700's and maybe we'd behead the queers for the lolz .... Aye, the DUP are ready to become ISIS/Daesh at a drop of a hat. 

Some verses have been taken out of context in the Bible to mean a man and a woman for marriage even though Jesus mostly only talked about heterosexual divorce. It was a different time with different values that don't apply today. In Sodom Lot offered up his 2 virgin daughters for the crowd to do what they pleased with rather than give up the two male guests in his home .... And Lot was one of the good uns. 

Boy on boy sodomy was cool with Bible folk just as it was in the Roman and ancient Greek world. Moses even mentioned the male and female temple prostitutes, for the record he was against prostitution in the hoose of God .... keep it to the streets and the docks says I. 

Paul didn't have a problem with turd burgling, he did have an issue with pederasty, that is the practice of an older male taking a young boy as his student or lover. A thing we find disgusting today that was the norm at one time just as slavery and weemen not voting was our norm. How can you decide what is what when you don't understand the historical context?

Quoting scripture to make a point is like arguing with idiots but you do what you have to if their moral compass is so fucked up that they think treating queers as anything less than equal to them is right.

In the words of the famous fictional character Jesus H Christ: 

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  ~ John 13:34

I can't fault that line of reasoning unless during cases of self defense as turning the other cheek would only happen if there were free drink and plenty of lube. 

He didn't say be dicks to everyone by claiming to know the word of God. The moral high ground is not yers, yer prideful ways tastes like cack. Old Knudsen just got a head text from God and guess what? yer wrong DUP, God loves the bumhole penetration, if he doesn't may he strike me dead on the spot ...... still waiting. 

   

 

 

 

A Post Full Of Dicks

So the DUP defeated yet another proposal to bring same sex marriage to Northern Ireland. The DUP have a history of hating queers be they leezers or turd pushers and just recently Jim Wells the health minister resigned after he just couldn't stop condemning gheys ... He used his sick wife as an excuse to leave.
So wells said that children in a homosexual household were more likely to be abused and told a couple of lesbian would be DUP voters that he and his party didn't agree with their lifestyle .... so can we count on yer vote anyway before you burn in Hell?

Was he surprised that he got a nasty worded backlash from the Internet? Well stop being a cunt and then you won't, a sick wife isn't an excuse to be a dick and an Internet backlash doesn't make you the poor victim.
The DUP leader Peter Robinson (with the old lady face) has said that his party believe that marriage is between a man and a woman .... and of course sometimes between a man, woman and that woman's toy boy lover as is the case with Mrs Robinson, Heaven holds a place for those not ghey, hey hey hey.

 L-R Trevor Lunn, Judith Cochrane and Kieran McCarthy Alliance homophobes.

The Alliance party voted for same sex marriage .... except three of their members. They had previously voted against but this time abstained. The Alliance party just had an article in the Belfast Telegraph on how they respected and welcomed everyone, well until the voting that is.

Old Knudsen would like these three to fuck off and die and advises you not to vote for them, go Green or even cock sucking Sinn Fein for fucks sake. Don't they understand that this is about equality, not about if they hates gheys or use the Bible to oppress them. The Troubles occurred because of a lack of equality and every time we deny it to others we're holding our progress back. Their votes would have made a difference. Feel free to write to them or to David Ford the Alliance party leader and tell him to control his members as this flip flopping free vote thing they have going on is losing voters. Man up Alliance and dump yer wankers.  

The Governor of Maine Paul Lepage likes to screw over the voter with his tax breaks for the rich, poor job creation and then complain about them because they are poor. He has said that the 32,000 unemployed Mainers are too lazy to look for work because they are busy getting high.

Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France 7 times while high on the crack has set a standard few can live up to.  

There is an attack on the poor who are getting government assistance on the SNAP program, politicians have been calling for any junk food not to be allowed to be sold to these people and certainly not steak or fish because that should be out of their budget... oh and lets do drug tests before we give them assistance. 

Lepage is calling for no prepared foods to be sold either on Foodstamps assistance. The average amount of help is $125 per person per month, which works out to about $1.40 per person per meal but considering the real cost of food it never lasts a month.

Many people who are working receive foodstamps because they get a shitty wage. 47 million Americans depend on food stamps, half of them are children and a quarter of them are seniors. The spouses of many active military members requesting food help has risen dramatically in the past couple of years .... are these lazy stoners?

Dicks like Lepage wants busy poor and often disabled people to make up their own spaghetti sauces and pickle their own dills like the rest of us do and if you want meat don't be going to the deli, eat it from cans like poor people should. Tinned cat food has all the necessary health requirements that the poor deserve.
There is no shame in being poor or needing help, maybe those trying to shame the poor are just distracting because they are not doing their job well enough to create employment or training. The old, poor and sick have always been an easy target for bullies.  

Even the beautiful people can be dicks.

Sean Jefferson, aged 45 and Elizabeth Jowitt, aged 37 go around cemeteries in York and steal wreaths, lanterns, memorial slates, homemade toys and other trinkets to decorate their home with. I'm sure it looks lovely, how dare you judge.

They pleaded guilty in court and received a  curfew and a restraining order from cemeteries in York.

Finding out that someone took sentimental stuff from yer child's grave to decorate their flat with didn't go down too well and neither did the lack of prison time .... but that's the soft as shite UK for you.
May this couple get all they deserve in life ..... and make overs STAT! 

Someone doesn't think that Manchester council fix the potholes in the roads fast enough and have taken to drawing cocks around them.   The city spokesperson said:

“Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school? Not only is this vandalism, but it’s also counter-productive,” the spokesman said. “Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.”

 

 Good enough for council work.

Maybe the young families don't want their fucking axles and suspension broken in big fuck off holes in the road as they drive to school and those walking don't want to be hit by a swerving car or one that loses control because it hit a fucking big pothole ..... you had one job to do, just fix the fucking roads, we pay enough road tax so what is yer problem? 

Well it doesn't look like the graffiti bothered them too much since we can still see it and those road fixes, seriously? A bit of rain will have that back to a hole within a week. Maybe if you resurfaced and maintained the roads you'd save money on half arsed repairs that you can barely do.