Hillary Clinton: Ultimate Evil You Should Vote For

When Old Knudsen met Hilary Clinton she could not contain her joy, every chair she sat on she left a wet spot that smelled like Thai food if you are into sniffing seats after weemen have sat on them .... anyways as Secretary of State she came to Northern Ireland to inspect our insurgent interrogation center.

Northern Ireland isn't fully up to 21st century speed, ghey marriage and abortion are still illegal here and our human rights laws only apply to white Christians, Catholics were only allowed full human rights in 1998 but if we get them to sign a paper that says they are a witch we can still use not enhanced but advanced interrogation techniques on them.     

I had private chats with Hillary over swigs of vodka from the bottle she carries everywhere. She told me of her hatred for Obama and how she'd clawed her way up from the depths of Hell only to have him make a deal with Azmodan the Lord of sin who is a major player in Hell in order for him to become president. I thought she was using Hell as a metaphor for the world of politics but no, she really meant Hell. 

Where we really surprised by this?  

Every dog has its day and she then told me how she could help me gain more power and influence by aligning myself with her as she was going to be president in 2016. I was already head interrogator at the facility. I had werked my way up from feet, leg, groin, arm and torso interrogator to become the head man, I liked my job. Applying electrodes to tongues and pulling out teeth until I'm told what I want to hear was a good, satisfying job. If you love yer job you'll never werk another day in yer life as the saying goes. 

Did I want anymore power and influence? What would I do with it? I think her offer was just a ploy to get into my pants. 

 

                       No one had planned for Obama to win, now the schedule is well off track.

Hillary can be very persuasive after 15 shots of vodka (she carries a BIG bottle) and did you know her tongue can fork? Poor Bill, he had steak every night at home but when he wanted a bit of cheap hamburger he got caught.   

I took her offer and I've been very busy on the campaign trail, she wanted to use the 'well Reagan killed 17 Americans during the US Embassy bombing in Beirut so my 4 isn't so bad' excuse for Benghazi but I said "no" do what I do when I'm caught in bed with another man's wife, bluff it out. One man was convinced I was his wife's gynecologist doing a home visit, he couldn't apologize enough and even waited down stairs until I was done with my exam. 

Reagan signed bills against open carry and banned machine guns in Callyfornia but right wingers only want to remember him as a Conservative saint, invoking him could back fire. If you mention him selling arms to Iran and to terrorists you might as well say that Jesus didn't exist, they'd burn you at the stake if they could. 

Being Hellspawn Hillary can't grasp certain modern concepts such as the Interwebs. Deleting something doesn't mean that it's gone, it's just not so easy to get to but a computer wizard can easily get it. Stoopid celebs, thinking a pic on their phone has been deleted only to find it online. Jeb Bush said that the chick that plays Supergirl is pretty hot and the media have been going on about her mini skirt costume. 

But computer wizards have found far more interesting pictures of her.  

When Old Knudsen signed on to do some damage control he decided to use politicking semantics. The e-mails may have been work related and contained classified materials but they weren't marked classified so therefore she didn't breach any protocols. 

No e-mails sent on secure servers are marked classified anyways because it's a no fucking brainer that they are important. Hillary just assumed that her Yahoo e-mail addy was secure and couldn't be arsed signing into her werk e-mail account. She should be given a medal for initiative, the Chinese hacked into government servers no problem and got thousands of government employees details but I bet they didn't hack into Yahoo. 

Hilary could knife a hobo veteran to death, get caught standing over the body and still get away with it. I know this because she has. People get paid off or suicided. I'm sorry that Paul Walker had to see her getting stuck into a baby burger at that charity event, he seemed like a nice dude, his movies were horrible but he seemed nice. I'm also sorry that yon Malaysia Airliner had to vanish, one person on board knew too much.

Putin was giving her some hassle with late night drunk dialing so I replaced him with a pre-programmed Putin-bot. We know what Putin is planning to do until his power cell runs out in 8 years time, how else would I know that WWIII is going to happen in 2020? If I were you I'd invest in missiles.  

 

Sometimes the camera catches more than it should, thank fuck for photoshop, I can blame all sorts on photoshop. Alien spaceship in the sky ... must be photoshop, Hillary in a Satanic gangbang, must be photoshop. 

If Bernie Sanders gets too big I'm gonna have to connect him with Jared from Subway, we can't have an honest, caring person as president. When Carter was president the US wasn't at war with anyone ... what the fuck? 

Sanders is a socialist who wants the people to have a vote that matters  .... Hellspawn demons are way more acceptable to Americans than a socialist. They don't know what socialism means but they don't like it. 

As damage control manager on Hillary's campaign I have the keys to a lock up full of armed drones so vote Hillary, her campaign slogan is Vote Hillary Clinton: No bitch will stand in her way this time.  Pretty catchy huh?        

     

 

Why we Vote

Leonard Beattie stood amongst the 3.9 million Ukip voters in the UK and voted for the Green party, he just recently died from a broken heart after hearing the election results.

Weird things have been happening in the UK with the majority of people voting for more Tory action with the rest either voting Labour or Green because it's anything but Tory or the protest vote of voting Ukip. The Liberal Democrats and Labour in Scotland were shown the door.

Voting for Ukip is like staying in an abusive relationship, trying not to see any faults and pretending that everything is fine. I'm dating a white supremacist triple murderer on parole but he's down to earth so it'll be good.

Do people do the right thing? 

I hope the ghey marriage referendum in Ireland becomes the exception but people do not vote based on doing the right thing. Using the argument if you vote this yer supporting equality sort of thing doesn't work ... many don't care as doing the right thing should come with terms and conditions and maybe some form of payment.

What's in it for me? or I have mine I'm alright. 

Political parties don't care, they shift and move with the environment. Ukip in Northern Ireland is against ghey marriage, gheys in general and certainly against abortion for weemen ... 3.9 million voters in the UK can't be wrong, right?

What those 3.9 million voted for was something other than Conservative but not Liberal. The Ukip manifesto has loads of popular promises that would appeal to the everyday life of the common pleb ... of course how could they possibly deliver?

They would have lower income people paying less or no taxes, well off people paying more taxes and somehow make big corporations pay their fair share of taxes ..... you can tell who they are trying to appeal to and it's not people who know anything about finance.

No tax on building repairs or sanitary products .... quirky but popular yet again.

They want to leave the EU and make it harder for immigrants to settle here.

20,000 more nurses 8,000 more doctors and 3,000 midwives from thin air because it's popular.

Loads of other promises like free parking at hospitals, paying more carer's allowance, triple prison sentences for animal cruelty, supporting the fishing industry by letting catch as much as they want, tax breaks for pubs and reversing the smoking ban, no votes for criminals, end multi lingual formatting on documents, remove funding promoting multiculturalism, a two-state solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict, restore the military to 2010 levels, keep our Trident nuclear subs, build 1 million new homes in 5 years, give medals to all veterans, build homes and give jobs to veterans .... all very nice for the common pleb who don't like thinkin.

No bring back hanging for pedos?  

Aren't you supposed to moan and groan more? 

No sex education for primary school children, let them figure it out from porn like the rest of us. Yes Old Knudsen did rent out ghey porn by mistake ... uh yeah, a total mistake.

Of course then there is the Ukip support of fracking and bringing back the coal industry .... very forward thinking and environmentally friendly.

3.9 million people voted for Ukip, a party that likes to stagnate in the past and is against ghey marriage and abortion ... oh but that is just in Northern Ireland right? ... like I said, people won't do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing but Hitler Ukip has gotten it right in blaming others.
If you have someone else to blame such as Liberals and Immigrants then the people are most likely to vote for you because fear and anger is a more powerful tool to use, especially in a dissatisfied population.

Britain First the racist neo-Nazi group of tossers endorsed Ukip for the election so that should tell you something right there. I'm sure the EDL and other so-called patriot groups voted Ukip too.

If you enjoy pub life, aren't told too much about the real world and don't care about it, think yer children should grow up like you and that flying a flag makes you patriotic then you've found yer people.

Tomorrow when Ireland votes for or against ghey marriage I suggest you vote for it, not because equality is the right thing to do but because it will make the gheys fucking miserable as soon as they get yon ring on and their same sex spouse gets fat.   

Why Obama Will Lose The Black Vote

Sent to me out of the blue by one of my loyal fans/stalkers. I thought he wouldn't get the black vote because he doesn't know how to be black, hes black like Condi , Halle Berry or Colon Bowel. The way you have sex change operations you could have race change operations. The wigger K-Fed is a white man who wants to be black, Obama and the rest are white men trapped in a black body, have you ever been trapped in a black body? I was once trapped in my Asian gurly boy wives' body once but I don't want to talk about it.

Lack of education when its free to them and high crime among the coloureds seems to me as if the stereotype of them being lazy is true but then again who was it that wanted slaves to do the work in the first place?

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