Showing posts with label westboro. Show all posts
Showing posts with label westboro. Show all posts

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

God Hates The Ivory Coast

Fuck off Derek you fag, I know it's fucking wrong!

Westboro Baptist Church has really lost its edge, remember when we all hated them and wanted them to die in a fire? .... oh we still do? 

Now they are something just to be mocked. Like the bloke in Corn market ... Belfast, handing out Bible tracts and every time someone takes one he shouts "God bless you" or "Hallelujah" or the Jehovah Witnesses who stand like silent smiling statues hoping you are dumb enough to take a flyer ... mock mock mock!   


The Westboro Baptist Church couldn't find Leonard Nimoy's funeral to picket in February for some vague reason. Even though all the atheists had claimed Nimoy as one of them his family fooled the world with a Jewish ceremony. Westboro were quite annoyed that no one leaked the address, I bet they stayed up all night making Star Trek signs an shit. 

The Ivory coast has a fag flag!

Recently during a Westboro protest they decided they didn't like Ireland for giving people the democratic choice for same sex marriage, what the fuck do the people know? Sodom and Begorrah right?   

Americans love the Irish so this hatred did not seem right. They got an Irish flag and danced jigs on it. The people of Ireland looked on bemused (probably drunk) 

They also had a sign that called the flag of the Ivory coast a fag flag ....huh? ... it's not excessively manly but I wouldn't call it a fag flag.


Ach don't worry, Loyalists who spend years hating everything Irish even though ironically they are Irish as were their ancestors get confused too. A football shop on the Shankill Road ... Belfast, had to put up a notice during the world cup to stop complaints and death threats.

No nation or group of people hold the monopoly of being thick as fuck though these days it's safe to assume that religious people and fleggers are really that dumb.


Flegger extraordinaire Willie Fraser saw an Italian flag flying at a school for world something day and ranted that it had become an IRA training ground.   

I hope this post helps you if you are going to slag off the Ivory Coast or the Republic of Ireland as I wouldn't want you looking any more dumber than you already are. 


Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Smoking Is Cool, Get Over It

I want to deep tongue her ashtray tasting mouth. Then I'd lick her snatch as a palete cleanser. 

I saw this meme on Facebook about smoking, smokers tend to get a little defensive when people attack smoking, much in the same way that I get when someone suggests that I take too many Vicodin for me war wound that healed years ago and too much Valium for me nerves .... I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM MIND YER OWN BUSINESS!

The same with smoking and my heroin use, I could quit anytime I want. It's people like nonsmokers who stopped Old Knudsen from masturbating in public, oh that's a disgusting habit, children shouldn't be near him. 

Billie Piper said that she didn't smoke while pregnant but as soon as that wee fucker popped out, boy did she light up then so it's alright. "Hey Turnip, come and smell wot mum's smoking in her roll up." 
 


If smoking was so harmful then why does it look so cool to do it?  

Like date rape, smoking has gained a bad reputation. 

The meme on Facebook said about putting pictures of lung diease onto cigarette packets then why no put pictures of fat children onto McDonald's boxes (that is the only thing that makes them fat) or victims of drunk drivers on bottles of wine, or corrupt politicians on yer tax returns... see what I mean about getting defensive but it's a witch hunt, singling out just one anti-social habit, just because it causes cancer ..... who the fuck doesn't want to get cancer? ..... wishy washy liberals, that's who.      
 


Aye, it's faulty logic, why not have this fella's picture on the boxes computers are sold in cos that's what happens when you use them it seems.  Old Knudsen is against laughing at those with disabilities however he will laugh beside them.  

Have pictures of ugly babies on condom boxes cos that's what you get ..... well that's what I get, thousands of the wee fuckers. Put dead people pics on the boxes that guns come in, aye that would make me think twice about buying them .... not! 

Nigel Farage, is the UKIP Nazi who is so close to taking over Europe like other Nazis before him. He stands by the rights of smokers (cos he is one) as it's a matter of equality and human rights but he hates ghey marriage, huh? .... If you voted UKIP take some time out from being a racist to punch yerself in the head. 

 
  Copying the mistakes and attitudes of adults is a rite of passage for kids. 
  
Smoking is cool and it makes you look mature and older, just ask any school kid. The people in the UK and Europe in general all look so mature and older, it's so easy to chat up a lass only to find out that while she may look 40, she is only 15.  Luckily many of the schools wear uniforms like in Harry Potter and the Hitler youth.

Obama the most powerful man in the world has copied Old Knudsen's ways and has made blowing smoke into the faces of babies cool. 

Barney says it's good to share, you calling Barney a liar? nothing beats the smell of an elevator after a smoker has been in it, like pot smokers they can't tell that they stink but everyone else knows. Old Knudsen has many smells that say, "I am Old Knudsen ... a man of powerful odour, hear me roar!" 

Who doesn't like walking through a cloud of smoke when you walk in and out of shops and hospitals cos people stand around outside puffing away?  Nothing makes my heart smile more than someone who has just been in a shop for 5 minutes and as they leave they block the entrance fumbling for their ciggies and lighter in an imaginary race against time to light up. Just think how happy they are when they take that first drag after a long 5 minute absence which is similar to a form of purgatory.
   
Fred Phelps got it wrong, God is a smoker and now ol Fred is a smokin doon below. 

Don't listen to those who say it's a substitute for their mammy's nipple .... their Ma's nipples were nothing like cigarettes. Don't believe those who call smokers selfish because of the offensive stench and smoke they subject others to, maybe yer freshly scented body offends their nose.  Away an roll in some shit or something.

Ashtrays give comfort to people, many a lass has told me about when they miss Old Knudsen they tongue kiss and ashtray .... how sweet.  When Old Knudsen misses them he shags someone else, we all cope in our own ways. 
 
Cigarette butts are biodegradable so don't go complaining about the mess they leave on the ground, you don't want that smell or mess in yer car ashtray, that would be stupid, what if you drive a taxi? You can't have that kinda of smell in there, that might effect yer tips. 

Discarded cigarettes are a main cause of wildfires in places like Callyfornia which is why they have real laws about smoking but fire is a part of nature so yer fighting against nature when saying you can't throw yer fags where you want to. Yeah sure people may die in the fires but I'm sure they would understand. 






 

Friday, 21 March 2014

God Hates Stuff

Fred Phelps the Pastor of Westboro church is dead, the 84 year-old minister of hate died doing what he loved best, taking it up the arse. After years of hating poo pirates and turd pushers he decided to try it himself and found out that maybe it was acceptable to God after all.

During the last year of his life (when he wasn't snake handling) he was busy changing all his signs to 'God loves fags',  he also experimented with picketing straight funerals. Phelps, who is on first name terms with god is now looking doon on us, but in a different way as Heaven now has another angel.

The loop hole is that you can be a total cunt all you like but if you accept Christ as yer personal trainer, you'll get into Heaven after a life of cuntery ..... sounds good to me except for all that hypocritical, two faced fondling of children Christian shite that you have to do.

You may be gone Mr Phelps but the bad taste you have left behind is still here.