God Hates Stuff

Fred Phelps the Pastor of Westboro church is dead, the 84 year-old minister of hate died doing what he loved best, taking it up the arse. After years of hating poo pirates and turd pushers he decided to try it himself and found out that maybe it was acceptable to God after all.

During the last year of his life (when he wasn't snake handling) he was busy changing all his signs to 'God loves fags',  he also experimented with picketing straight funerals. Phelps, who is on first name terms with god is now looking doon on us, but in a different way as Heaven now has another angel.

The loop hole is that you can be a total cunt all you like but if you accept Christ as yer personal trainer, you'll get into Heaven after a life of cuntery ..... sounds good to me except for all that hypocritical, two faced fondling of children Christian shite that you have to do.

You may be gone Mr Phelps but the bad taste you have left behind is still here.

  

Fag Day

 

 Fucking civvies, thats not regulation equipment no wonder it's letting in smoke. In my day a respirator was called a hanky and we put mustard gas on our sandwiches. 

It's no smoking day! 
This is the day that if you see someone light up you get to playful pinch them or happy slap them... Well Old Knudsen does, he also puts his cigarettes out on children's balloons when no small dogs are present, it's how he rolls bitches.   

When did smoking become so unhealthy? in my day it wasn't unhealthy and doctors would recommend various brands for chesty coughs or if you had caught the Chinese drip off a dirty slapper doon at the docks. 

Smoking is cool and sexy.


Now a days you get treated like a leper when you light up on a bus or in a shop. I went doon to the library to pick some more free books to sell online and not only did they tell me to keep my voice doon but they wouldn't let me smoke or drink either ..... fucking Nazis! I told them that doing that was my culture as was dropping me kegs and doing a bisto protest which I did just before the cops got there, you have to stand up for yer rights ya know. 

If you walk up to a cute wee baby in its pram and blow smoke in its face people go ape-shit, the world has gone mad!

When Old Knudsen fancies a fag no one is going to tell him it's wrong, oh no, he'll get a fag and he'll suck on that fag all day if he wants to. 

God Will Help Me.

I'm trying to quit the cancer sticks and to help me are two of my grand kids from Sadie's side, the one on the left is Alice and the one on the right, no hold on shes Alice, Alice Alice who the fuck is Alice? ach nevermind I just say, "hey you gob shite c'mere." Fags are a danger to public health and possibly the sanctity of marriage, you go out and smoke fags all night and then cum home to yer wife, what is yer breath going to smell like?

Please leave encouraging comments to help me fight against the fags.

Next week I'm going to a Clan meeting, fuck I hope its not the Campbells.