Dude Looks Like A Douche Bag

I'm sooo fucking high a seat belt couldn't hold me down.

When the UK gets sun everyone goes crazy, at 72 Fahrenheit or 22 Celsius the old people start to drop dead and people in cars forget how to drive safely. 'Look the sun is out, right of way? Must be me cos it's sunnae.' 

The cost of driving a convertible has been made affordable with the likes of Hyundai and Toyota all bringing them out for those who don't want to buy a BMW or Audi but still want to appear smug and well off. 

As soon as spring hits, the blokes put on their shorts and flip flops and get the old rag top doon and tool around even though it's still fucking cold and rainy. It's usually middle aged blokes and their trophy wife out in the convertible, like the bloke I saw with his top doon, the sun shining and yet his sunglasses were sitting on his head. 

It used to be just paramilitaries who wore sunglasses as people would look at you strangely ... big Hollywood star wearing sunglasses while walking doon Ann street indeed, wind yer neck in. Still too many drivers don't wear sunglasses and surprise early morning sun can be blinding here.  

Reminded me of this dude. 

I bet Mr mid-life crisis also has a landrover or 4x4 truck in his 2 car garage for when we get a slight frost or hint of snow .... oh look at me I'm prepared for anything and you are not. Old Knudsen is not a begrudger, he just wishes bad things to happen to others who do well .... it's so not the same.  

Ben Affleck knows about begrudgers, when he read online that he was going to be Batman the first comment was NNNOOO!!!!! 

Actors do have flops and just bad movies like Ben's Gigli and Jersey Girl but it seems as if the public have a real need to bash Affleck. Is it because he stands up to the likes of Bill Maher when he makes stupid stereotype like comments? The 'yes men' Liberals who fawn over people like Maher did not like Ben having a differing opinion. 

He's not a great actor but he can do the job as good as Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and many others who don't get picked on for every thing they do. 

Argo was said to have been one of the best 11 movies of  2012, Affleck stared and directed it and it must have really been difficult for people to praise him for it .... he didn't get nominated for his acting or directing. Roger Ebert chose it as his best pick for movie of that year. 

After watching the new TV show of Dare Devil you soon appreciate just how not so sucky Ben Affleck actually was. 

On a PBS show about family history it was discovered via the Sony e-mail hack that Affleck asked the show not to reveal that one of his ancestors owned slaves. Others like Anderson Cooper had slave owners in his family tree in fact one of Cooper's ancestors was beaten to death by one of his slaves ... this made him lol. 

   The grand kids were not very impressed when they asked what I did during the woar. 

For a guy who broke up with a lass with a fine huge booty because of media pressure, he may have issues about putting all of his life out there in public. Rather than protecting the Affleck brand he was probably embarrassed about it. It's no big deal though he felt as if he had to come out and apologize because American history needs to be out there, the good and the bad.  

In the US they tend to ignore racism and over react if a white person even looks at a black person the wrong way which is why the media jumped over Benedict Cumberbatch when he said "coloured" when he was really standing up for ethnic actors and meant non-white people rather than black but they still went after him.    

Unless the US police start shooting a lot more unarmed white people to balance out the blacks then there will be a point where the US can't keep looking the other way and will have to discuss the African elephant in the room.  

Why am I mentioning actors? Well it's less depressing than a lot of the news.  

Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner who play Captain Frisbee and the Angry archer in the latest Avengers movie were asked about Black widow and how her character flirts with both of them in the movies and will she get together with either one or maybe even both .... that three way idea made them chuckle and Renner called her a slut and Evans called her a complete whore, it was all in good humour. 

They have since issued apologies: 

Evans wrote the best one.

 “Yesterday we were asked about the rumors that Black Widow wanted to be in a relationship with both Hawkeye and Captain America,” Evans said in a statement provided to EW. “We answered in a very juvenile and offensive way that rightfully angered some fans. I regret it and sincerely apologize.”

Then Renner was a little passive aggressive.

“I am sorry that this tasteless joke about a fictional character offended anyone,” Renner also said in a statement provided to EW. “It was not meant to be serious in any way. Just poking fun during an exhausting and tedious press tour.”

Being a fictional character may allow you leeway to poke fun at however many do link Scarlett Johansson with Black widow and hey should it not be Widow of color?  

When you play heroes on screen and are promoting the movie aimed at kids and adult virgins etc you shouldn't use the terms slut or whore ... just saying like. Should anyone really be using them to describe a flirtatious woman anyway? 

Those who have been oppressed usually have trigger words connected to them and since it's still a man's world you'd better make sure that yer joking comments are made at the right venues even though we know they weren't being serious, it just wasn't funny.   

 

Robert Downey jr walked off during an interview with Krishnan Guru-Murthy, you may remember him as the guy who asked Quintin Tarantino if there was a link between film violence and real-life atrocities in America just after Sandy Hook when he was there promoting Django Unchained. Not being able to talk about his film an outraged Tarantino walked out. Outraged at the question more than the shooting.

Now Guru-Murthy is at it again, maybe he thinks that the celeb should get a little and then the interviewer should get some. Downey was there to promote the Avengers movie, a fluff film about muscle men who swing big hammers about and turn green.  Guru-Murthy thought this would be the perfect time to talk about Downey's drug abuse and relationship with his father. 

Maybe he should have asked about that jacket instead ... I mean WTF?  Guru-Murthy needs to wait until he gets his own fluffy day time chat show before messing about with promotional tours. 

Saying that I think the actors all need to go and have a wee power nap.   

     

Page 3 Troll

 Samantha Fox started on page 3 aged 16 in 1983.

The Sun newspaper did the ultimate troll this week in order to get publicity and make tit puns. Sources told other papers that the Sun's 44 year tradition of putting topless weemen on page 3 would come to an end.
Sun owner  Rupert Murdoch said, "Brit feminists bang on forever about page 3. I bet never buy paper." 

It's out there infecting the population with stupidity, why buy it we know what it's like?  

Thousands have fought against page 3 for years and must have felt like they had won .... however the Sun itself didn't say they'd stop it and posted tit pics in their paper again.

Samantha Fox started posing aged 16 in 1983, the headline was 'Sam, 16, Quits A-Levels for Ooh-Levels' she became famous for getting her huge baps out and then later as a one hit wonder pop star.
Having a topless 16 year-old girl in a daily newspaper that anyone could buy does seem kinda creepy looking back on it but it was the 80's, being sexist and racist was the norm. Now the age limit for topless pics is 18 ... it only got changed in 2003, well done UK.

 Linsey Dawn McKenzie and the twins. 

There were other 16 year-old gurls and males all across the nation followed the paper as it counted down to a young girl's birthday so she could legally get her tits out. Linsey Dawn McKenzie was one such gurl who ended up on page 3, The Sunday Sport and The Daily Star ... she went on to do porn, bless her heart.

Other Page 3 gurls did some soft porn stuff but minge was usually kept hidden in the daily papers ... for decency sake ya know.

Linda Lusardi was one of the most famous and popular of the page 3 models. It is odd that a chick with her jebs hanging out in a newspaper could be a hoosehold name in the UK. To some they were prized on the kind of level that Princess Di was .
Old Knudsen's parents got the Sun paper and watching them sit and read the articles down the side of a mostly naked woman was just ... surreal.

Quite often they included some information about the model. 'Sizzling Suzy, 19 likes to get some fresh air around her handle bars with a healthy bicycle ride, she also wants to bring back hanging and put unemployed people into work camps.' 

Kathy Lloyd

Kathy Lloyd , Maria Whittaker, Corinne Russell and Keeley Hazell all became famous for having tits. Ginger spice was on page 3 before she got pop fame and other models went on to appear in soaps and reality shows, the most popular ones marrying footballers of course. 

Suzanne Mizzi

If weemen want to get paid for showing their tits then why not, it's to do with choice is it not? Maybe not on a daily newspaper though .

The Sun also had page 7 fellas which didn't feature as much so I guess they were being sexist yet being a driving force for equality .... or not.  

One gurl 'Tula' had been a Bond gurl and then the News of the World (another tabloid rag) outed her as having been born a male.  

Not too many black chicks on page 3 and in the 90's they seemed to become all blondes with small fake boobs or grotesquely altered and tanned hags with too much make up, hoosehold names for being train wreaks. 

To Old Knudsen they stopped being even mildly attractive decades ago. It went from attractive and natural to blah and fake as the media dictated the standards of beauty.

This feature should be done away with as it is only popular with the lower class twats who complain about those Moosalims. At a time when the Interwebs didn't exist for everyone it may have been a novelty but now you can have wall to wall tits and better than what they have.

It's a tired tabloid with right wing conservative views that is still holding on to a part of its golden age of sexism by claiming this is freedom of expression. Get rid of this feature in fact get rid of the paper, it adds nothing to the world but conflict and low standards and is obviously biased gutter journalism. 

Men Are Not Beasts Of The Field

Tv presenter Jon Snow has been either blasted as being creepy or hailed for being honest because he said, "sex comes into every evaluation of a woman" meaning that when men meet weemen for the first time they may think about sexy things .....

He says that "sex is a natural animal instinct." and  "it's natural for men to think of all women as potential sexual partners."

Yeah right. So I put two pictures of my future wife (she still hasn't gotten back to me yet) fully clothed wearing super intelligent glasses and I must say that sex does in no way cum to mind when I look at her.
Nope, what I'm thinking about is if she has a really nice personality and if she shares my love of badger baiting.  

She is so going to suck my cigar.

Away an fuck Mr Snow, you illegitimate bastard of Ned Stark, we men are not just uncontrollable walking erections, keep it in the cage ya durty shite. 

The Orange Order Pig Cover Up

As Napoleon once said, "Control bacon and you control the masses" Old Knudsen believes the Orange Order, combined with the Caleb foundation has been slowly but surely taking over Northern Ireland by placing it's members as either politicians or as farmers to control everything of importance here.

If anyone ever goes missing a pig farm is the first place you should start looking. Criminals and bacon dealers own pig farms.

The Orange Order believe they are descended from a race of pig people who were the lost tribe of Israel which is why Jews don't eat pork .... anyway the Orange lot have been breeding with pigs to re-create a pig race again that will replace the trouble making Catholic and other minorities in Northern Ireland.

 Considering what the weemen look like I'm all for pig breeding.

There have been rumours that Loyalists in health care positions have been stealing new born Catholic babies and replacing them with their pig babies who are predisposed to marching, drinking and setting things on fire.

The health minister for Northern Ireland who is also an Orangeman Edwin Poots was not available for comment but a DUP spokesman said, "what idiotic lies made up by the enemies of the Protestant culture, these kind of stories only mix up tensions in the community, well I have to go and march through a taigy neighbourhood, see ya later."  

Old Knudsen puts the facts out there, let the people decide.

Unsexy Sunday

Either those curtains go or I do as Oscar Wilde may have said on his death bed (I wasn't there) that sultry look of pissed off sucking on a pickle and that oh so classy Playboy bunny tattoo. I really don't get the tat what is it trying to say? I read playboy? I could be in Playboy? well except for yer appearance and real boobies, didn't ya get the memo? real boobs are as disgusting as foreskins ................ see what I did there? I got a dig at the circumcision lobby by criticizing what god gave ya.

Maybe its saying 'I'm a chavette' well duh!