Dr Maroon said...
Allright all right, I'm convinced.
You were gay lovers at Trinity. And why not?
He's a fine looking young lad.
We've all done it.
Hey doc do you recall those beer soaked halcyon days at Trinity?
You were known as Hands Maroon later to be given the name Dr Octopus for your hands on approach to medicine. I was a wooly faced professor of Whatsyourfuckingproblemology, I played the dead wife angle for pity fucks and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids "hey Da, give us some money or we'll tell Ma what you're up to".
We both vied for the attention of the young street punk janitor with the talent for math.
You admired the way he shuffled down the corridors muttering comments he would later write on Blogs, his hands held limply in front of him as a doggy does when it begs.
I saw the beauty of his Venn diagrams and just wanted to bask in his brilliance.
Old Knudsen is quickly becoming a gay icon around here, wrong hole, pull hard to starboard. The conclusion I've come to is that I need more weemen reading my blog so to lure them in I'm doing posts on what interests weemen, such as washing dishes, laundry, eating chocolate and being touchy about the size of their arses and having headaches when old Bonaparte stands to attention, oh yes, time for the tender side of Old Knudsen to show and if you don't like it then fuck away off you lunchbox fart cultivators .
Sunday 1 October 2006
Good Kieran Hunting.
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17 comments:
I can't wait to read the "tender side." God only knows what you'll come up with--what you think interests women--hint, it's not dishes and laundry, although chocolate is always a hit.
here's a true joke:
A new store (similar to a Macy's) opens up and it's for women to be able to shop for a husband.
There are 5 doors, and on each door it describes what type of men are in the room.
The woman has only one chance she can either enter the room, or pick a different door, but there is no backtracking.
So this woman goes to the first door and reads "Men with jobs and love kids"
She thinks to herself, "hmmm, sounds promising but lets see door #2"
The second door reads, "Good looking men with high paying jobs who love kids," and she thinks, "better, but lets keep checking."
The third door reads, "Good looking men with high paying jobs who love kids and do house work," and the woman thinks "very nice but lets keep going..."
The fourth door reads, "Good looking men with high paying jobs who love kids, do house work, and have great romantic inclinations..."
The woman is very impressed by this but decides to see the final and last door...
The final door reads, "This room is empty... women can never have enough"
g'day old man,
i do check your blog daily, but it is indeed a bit of a boys' club, so i tend not to stick around for the whiskey and cigars afterwards. might discussions on decoupage or macrame draw the lasses in? hm, i doubt it.
perhaps you should pander to the readership you do have for now, as your fans may get bored of girly issues and look elsewhere. i'd hate to see you lose your gay icon status.
Rob, weemen are always doing that stuff and when a man does it once they make sure he never does it again so they must enjoy it, as for my tender side I may have been drunk when I typed that, but I love ya, your'e my best fucking mate.
sammy, you've been hurt haven't you lad? those weemen with their X chromosome think they're so hot, well actually that giant chick that plays Xena is hot but thats besides the point.
AH Gaijin Girl, the talent has arrived, hmm macrame and cheese, anyway I don't care, I've seen some of those battyboys fight, camp as danny La Rue one minute and raging bulls the next, ok I'll whore myself to anyone that reads.
Well if that doesn't get the broads queueing up, then they must be hatchet faced old lezzers.
I'm sorry Old Knudsen, The Gays™ have followed me to your board. Afterall, my blog has a large gay-centric focus.
Rest assured, no one here thinks you like to smoke the man sausage.
No really!
Don't nobody laugh either!
"Rest assured, no one here thinks you like to smoke the man sausage.
No really!
Don't nobody laugh either!"
We all know Old Knudsen is protesting too much. I mean, this is the man who has said "Any port in a storm." You know he just loves the attention, be it from man, woman, or animal (which is why I'm here...)
It's too male oriented, that's the problem you see. What you need to do is post some stuff that the ladies like - like some pictures of some oily buffed up muscle-men in skimpy speedos. Women love that kind of stuff, you'll be fighting em off. Trust me, I've spoken to one.
It will totally dispell all hints of you being gay. I guarantee it.
Gaijin Girl, it was those sexy lady boys of bangkok that caused my internal conflict in the first place.
Dr Maroon, If a doctor doesn't know then who does?
Rob7535,you have the gays too, I'm shocked, it didn't do your manish rep any harm.
Fat Sparrow, do you think I look fat in this belly top? will my gays like it?
Kieran, you're like the son I forgot to kill in his sleep, muscle men in speedos coming up, I knew you'd know.
Wait a minute, why don't you think Old Knudsen doesn't smoke the sausage? do ya think he can't is that it? you fuckers, I can smoke the sausage better than the lot of yous, also I once had a summer job in a fudge packing factory so if anyone says I can't be a poof I'm gonna take off my wooden leg and beat them with it, yeah, just like Joan Crawford with a wire clothes hanger.
"lunchbox fart cultivators"
*baffled*
But I am a wummin and I want to tell you your tactic is working. The shiny fish thing, a few posts back, got me 'cos of the wee fish looking like a shiny bauble and wee weemin likes us some shiny baubles.
In this post, I'm oddly mesmerized and only very slightly repelled by the phrase "lunchbox fart cultivators". But then I am one of these unsightly hatchet-faced old lezzies.
Are you sure you didn't spike this post with some sort of potent alcohol?
You didn't?
Pity.
Old knudsen knows what weemen and men want, doesn't mean they'll get it, the whole post is like a magic eye picture so squint when you read it.
"like Joan Crawford with a wire clothes hanger."
hahaha, only a gay would reference mommie dearest
Its a well known fact that gays think that everyone else is gay, but no, I'm as straight as the next man, depending who that is of course.
hahaha, as straight as Ryan Seacrest, right?
Nah I know that not everyone is gay, and thank fucking god for that! Lord knows there are plenty who are gay, that I DON'T claim as our brethren
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