Wednesday 22 November 2006

The Pilgrim Fathers (its a man's world baby)

A very typical American Thanksgiving dinner, see how she presents the offering to the master of the house, as with the feast of 1621 the best food is given to the most important people.

While in Britain the time after Halloween means the run up to Christmas, already Santas in Shopping centres are proclaiming "whore whore whore" or maybe it was ho, either way the big man's fondness for slappers has been noted. However in America the embrace of a fat European man who likes to empty his bag with the help of your very own children is hampered by something called Thanksgiving day, copied from the little known celebration in Britain called the Harvest festival this was a time to give thanks to Mother Nature for the crop yield or later on to God who now takes the credit for everything.

Americans just after Halloween start to drool from the corners of their mouths thinking about all the foul, er I mean the lovely food they will consume in large quantities. Traditionally the weemen slave over a hot stove for hours catering for family and friends while the men entertain the other males in the parlour with cigars and Cognac. The meal is eaten and leftovers are to be served for up to a week after to symbolise the first feast in 1621 that lasted for 3 days. After the food while the weemen are banished again to the kitchen for the ritual packing away and cleaning up of the dishes the men with a beer in one hand and the other hand down their trousers scratch themselves, fart, belch and yell at the TV while watching a Ghey form of Rugby in which the players wear so much padding so they don't get hurt, American Football as we call it, the Americans incorrectly refer to it as Football though feet are mostly only used for running with, a strange people the Yanks.

In 1621 the pilgrims who would of died out (no great loss) except for the help of the local Wampanoag Indians had a 3 day feast and invited about 90 of the Injuns to join in, and taking advantage of the natives generosity and naivety within 70 years the Indians had gone from a population of 12,000 to 400, Columbus would have been proud, he also saw politeness and hospitality as weakness to be exploited.

A sad Indian, go on invite a savage round for Turkey, just hide the fire water.

Abraham Lincoln in 1863 declared the Thanksgiving feast to be held on the last Thursday in November.
Franklin D Roosevelt who knew better changed it to the 4th Thursday.
In 1970 the Native American organisation declared Thanksgiving to be a National day of mourning, those Sad Sacks, cheer up Johnny red fellow its nearly Christmas, joy to the world and all that.

I don't know that much about American football except its ghey but should the Cowboys not play the Redskins every year for tradition's sake? or is there a team called the Pilgrims? well have a good dinner .


The Pilgrims' Menu

Foods That May Have Been on the Menu

Seafood: Cod, Eel, Clams, Lobster
Wild Fowl: Wild Turkey, Goose, Duck, Crane, Swan, Partridge,Eagles,
Meat: Venison, SealGrain: Wheat Flour, Indian Corn
Vegetables: Pumpkin, Peas, Beans, Onions, Lettuce, Radishes, Carrots
Fruit: Plums, GrapesNuts: Walnuts, Chestnuts, Acorns
Herbs and Seasonings: Olive Oil, Liverwort, Leeks, Dried Currants, Parsnips

What Was Not on the MenuSurprisingly, the following foods, all considered staples of the modern Thanksgiving meal, didn't appear on the pilgrims's first feast table:

Ham: There is no evidence that the colonists had butchered a pig by this time, though they had brought pigs with them from England.
Sweet Potatoes/Potatoes: These were not common.
Corn on the Cob: Corn was kept dried out at this time of year.
Cranberry Sauce: The colonists had cranberries but no sugar at this time.
Pumpkin Pie: It's not a recipe that exists at this point, though the pilgrims had recipes for stewed pumpkin.
Chicken/Eggs: We know that the colonists brought hens with them from England, but it's unknown how many they had left at this point or whether the hens were still laying.
Milk: No cows had been aboard the Mayflower, though it's possible that the colonists used goat milk to make cheese.

Source: Kathleen Curtin, Food Historian at Plimoth Plantation.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

That actually solves the problem of what I'll do about the picky eaters at my table: they get the parsnip and liverwort plate.

And it's high time we laid this controversy about who has the manlier football players to rest. Send one of your rugby players over for a Raiders game sometime. Have him wear his little shorts. He'll be dead before he gets out of the Coliseum parking lot.

Anonymous said...

None more righteous.
Get the real story at Old Knuden's History Shoppe.
Sheer poetry old man, sheer poetry.

And T.O.G: the controversy only rages outside the world of rugby and American football. RFU and the yanks have great respect for one another's games and players often swap between 'em to gain experience.

Old Knudsen said...

I've played the odd game of Rugby in my time and I have the brain damage to prove it. I'll no send a player over to be raped by big padded men in a parking lot, and Dive maybe I should call meself Olde Knudsen.

iLL Man said...

How can any sport where people dress in kevlar body armour be considered manly? Watch a game of rugby union and you will see true psychopathic brutality. (which equates to manliness obviously)

tony said...

Given the way that Halloween has taken over here in Blighty,it wont be long before we switch on the telly to find Hull Kingston Rovers playing in Pit Helmets!
the idea of weemen stuffing things in the kitchen has its merits,but is it English?

Anonymous said...

you sure have a way of telling it like it is Old "K"

Anonymous said...

Well, we might be having some non-traditional things here at our New England Thanksgiving, but we won't be watching football. Plimoth Plantation is quite the tourist trap.

Anonymous said...

lol.. well. that is quite the summary.. lol.

I guess us Canadians are just as bad, since we have the same 'traditional' crap as the Americans.. but more natives???

Old Knudsen said...

ill man those Yanks don't have a clue, how can you bite off ears with helmets on? then their players go on to movies and TV, if they were any good they would only have faces for radio.

tony soon the UK will be like the states, all about the money and no tits in the newspapers, the future is no longer orange.

rich I hope thats a compliment.

sassy sundry I can not wait to hear how your TG went, I want to make a reality show that involves your mother (I'll keep it clean)

xmichra the canadians kept the Brits so that makes them ok in my book, they just need to frog march the frogs oot, you spell it wee, not oui.

Fat Sparrow said...

The Other Girl has called it as far as Raiders fans go. The soldiers in Iraq wish they were that well armed.