Dr Dick Helmer, creator of the music shirt.
Australian Scientists working for the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation or CSIRO have cured cancer and solved world hunger, er no wait I got that confused with the wishes of the miss world contestants, the Australian blokes have done better, they have created a shirt that has intelligent textiles woven into it and can communicate with computers to make music when the wearer plays air guitar, excellent, not only will the heavy metal dirt heads look like mongs when they play back in black with their eyes closed and that pained expression on their faces but they will also sound like it too when it sounds nothing like it.
CSIRO have said how this wearable instrument will be able to help people recover after accidents by teaching them how to bend and walk again, and with these clothes patients in other countries can get examined by specialists.
You can work a computer without ever touching a mouse or a keyboard and play computer games, or learn how to play golf or tennis.
Helping mankind in general, CSIRO have patented it and are looking into how to make an ass load of money out of it but it won't be ready this Christmas.
Do people that play video games want to jump about like their on screen characters or do they just want to sit and wiggle their thumbs for 12 hours? I just don't want to be having a ham shank over some Interweb hottie that wants to do nasty things to me for £29.99 a month only to find out I just e-mailed my wank to a 15 year old gurl in Russia who gets pregnant so now I'm a Pedo Slavicator with a little baby on the way, all bad, maybe they'll make a pair of intelligent gunties that say "you got skids" when you need to change them because on the darker coloured ones you just can never tell.
Sunday 26 November 2006
I Am The Music Nerd I Come From Down Yer Way.
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8 comments:
Yippee I will be able to go internet shopping using only my nipples - how cool is that.
I find with undergarments , if you fling em at the wall , and they stick , its time to turn them inside out and wear them for another two weeks.
By doing this I am saving the planet , as I am using less energy by doing loads of needless washing.I then sell them on Ebay !
Its probably you thats been buying them Knudy
You have given me the alarming image of your nipples in action, I now wonder what nipples would buy if they had the choice.
I do indeed buy your heavily soiled gunties Mr Beast, I grow tomatoes in them, Lovely sir lovely.
I heard about this shirt. It scares me. Air banding is bad enough, but I can't imagine the thought of actual sound resulting from the herky-jerky motions.
"You got skids," however, would be a most useful invention.
You are the reason I don't let my mother use the internet.
Hilarious! It does have potential, huh?
sassy sundry a volume control would be needed, as a repeating 'you got skids'message might get kind of annoying after a few days.
the other gurl I thought it was cos you kept her locked in the attic on her rocking chair.
babsitchin potential for abuse, if anything can be abused I'll figure it out.
What kinda musician would wear a plain white shirt like that? Christian rock can get fucked. What they need is themed shirts- Like a flannel one that plays neil young samples, or ones with tassles that plays jimmy page samples. And what are the military implications, I ask you?
Christian rock is soooo hardcore,if creed can have gangbangs then I can, the military can have shirts that give them orders,"what do I do now sir, I've pinched the loaf off?" "wipe yer ass then soldier".
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